₦airaland Forum

Please don't be crude and disrespectful. You're not sure of something and you're coming online to post rubbish? He borrowed a car? I take the car to my work place from time to time even when I have mine. Please learn to behave rightly in a public space.

daclemx:
I even know the couple she is talking about. The guy isn't the owner of the car (If it's the person I suspect). Its his friend's car. I know the entire story. In fact, I was there at the wedding with the guy. I know what he does for a living. He doesn't have a car (Again, if it's the person I suspect). And I am shocked to my bones hearing how foolish he has become. Cool headed you say. Wait till you meet the real dude inside of him. Rita is his wife's name.

Please don't be crude and disrespectful. You're not sure of something and you're coming online to post rubbish? He borrowed a car? I take the car to my work place from time to time even when I have mine. Please learn to behave rightly in a public space.

daclemx:
Madam Rita005, I hope you have left another woman's husband alone? Leave him let him concentrate on his marriage. I am a married man, and I wouldn't do such to my wife. What will you gain if he divorces the woman because of you? As it stands now, I think your presence in his life is distracting him. Pray to God to give you your dream man. No go bush go catch another hunter meat come call am your own.

Thanks a lot. He has filed for divorce already and everything is going well.

Pimine:
Aswearugaaad
Rita005 forget what everyone is saying about the man. Think: did he have to tell you about his wife? He's obviously living in another state and could have just lied about his marital status and you wouldn't know. Don't let anyone deceive you. That man is telling you the truth and he really likes you.

Find out if he really wants to divorce her. If he does then stand with him, else JAPA. Issa simpu sturvz.

I agree with you 100%. Most of them kept saying he's a scam, he is married in another state and blah blah blah. Meanwhile I have received about 8 notifications from nairaland letting me know that people want to contact me. I'm glad things are going smoothly and there's no pressure from anywhere.

Kellzzyy:
One thing you have to understand is that there are a lot of shitheads on Nairaland who spread so much negativity here.
From your OP, I can deduce you have a nice guy with a great future. If you're really compatible with him then you have to give it your best shot.

If you allow the negativity here to spoil your mind from something really good, na you sabi o.
These fools here vilifying the man and not even giving him the benefit of the doubt wouldn't be there for you when you lose a good thing.

There's no gold digging anywhere as I'm doing well for myself. I earn over 200k monthly and I'm on track in my career path. I also have older siblings that send me as much as my salary every month. I am not in anyway a girl that falls for money.
As a lady, if you meet a man that's smart and ambitious, it is almost normal to like him. The question I raised on this thread was about my concern about his marital status but unfortunately, you guys took it to a different level. I understand you guys don't want me to become a prey but it seems an average Nigerian has a messed up mentality. I don't blame us because it's what we grew up into.
Anyways, he has initiated the divorce process and it's on. Since he noticed I'm skeptical about the whole thing, he suggests we should just be friends until he gets the divorce.
Thanks to you all that adviced on the divorce issue. To those who were concerned about him being a scam, thanks to you too lol.

Thanks a lot. I really like him but his marital status is troubling. I sure will be careful about it. His mom is so interested in him getting another woman cuz she was never in support of his decision to marry his wife. I appreciate your advice.

Twoclans:
Rita005 you seem to really have alot of butterflies in your stomach for this guy.. oh well it is allowed.

In everything or whatever decision your take make sure you take care of your heart and expect the worse.

Now, you are going too extreme. Thanks anyways.

Ebubu:
So it is hard to hire a woman to act a scripted call?

Well, seems you are already convinced to go ahead so why are you here

Even though I hate to say this, I've spoken with his mum on the phone. He's not a cheat and I'm a smart woman to know that. The issue is just about his marital status.

helinues:
Another repeated lyrics line. The guy is probably working in one state while his family is in another state or another location

Thanks a lot... But I have heard both of them speak on phone. The woman keeps begging but he's made up his mind already. When I first met him, I even advised him to go back to his wife. All he could say is that "it's okay if I don't want to be friends with him but I shouldn't tell her to go back to a woman who threatens his peace".

advanceDNA:
This one na old format men naa...but one of the most effective cheating format
men working in a different state from the location their wife stay use it to cruise single girls like you...
He's just trying to make you comfortable dating him with the knowledge that he's married..
babe, he will fvck you, he will use you, because tha'ts all you are to him right from the start...

Walk away now... u have no business hanging with a married man.
u will only get burned...
You own man is coming..
you go dey alright las las

Thanks guys... He is hardly perturbed about me not agreeing to his wishes.

Hi folks! I feel like sharing my predicament with you and hope to get a solution. Please bear with me cuz it's a long read. I'm a 26 years old banker (not contract staff) in one of the south south states.

Recently, I met a beautiful soul and I think I'm getting so fond of him now. We connected after the close of service in church and exchanged contacts. He was kind enough to drop me off my house. This guy is doing very well for himself (lives in a nice estate and owns a good ride).

A short while after our first meeting, we spoke on phone and I didn't know when I asked him why he isn't married. He told me it's a long story and would like to talk about it when we meet one-to-one. Fast forward, we met and he told me all there is about him. He's 34, got married about 2 years ago, but now separated from his wife. The reason he gave for the separation was lack of trust from his wife. According to him, his wife is so insecured to a fault. According to him, the first week he got married was when he started regretting his actions. After their marriage, his wife travelled down home to bring her remaining baggage. Before she returned, he made sure he cleaned the house thoroughly. However, when his wife came back, she headed straight to the fridge (she had made soup and stew before traveling) and the next thing was cry! According to him, he said he was confused at first. it was when he asked her what the problem was that she said he brought a woman to their matrimonial home. He said he cried so much and regretted marrying a woman with a possessed mind.

According to him, all the signs were there before marriage and he ended the relationship more than 5 times but she kept begging. What she was holding on to was that there's no assurance that the guy will marry him, hence, her fears. According to him, the woman has accused him of sleeping with his former neighbors and she insisted that they move out of that area. for peace to reign, he agreed and they got another accommodation.

Again, she started accusing him of having something with his new neighbors (even the married ones). To be honest, this guy is admirable and very reserved and I'm not sure if he's doing all the things his wife accused him of. He got angry when his wife decided to report him to the church authority. According to him, this woman has no single proof of him cheating but her reprobate mind is affecting her badly. She even went ahead to share demeaning messages about him (her husband) on her whatsapp status. This guy said he has pleaded with her to stop but it's getting worse. Now, they were married for about two years without a child. He said he could manage to live with the woman for more years without a child but can't do that when his peace is been threatened. He said his wife nags a lot and it was driving him crazy. According to him, his mum was never in support of the marriage but dad was interested in it. As it stands now, he has left his wife and moved to another state where we both met.

I have been friends with him for about 3 months now and I must say that this guy is a sweet human being. He asked me out but I told him we should just be friends, owning that he's still legally married. However, my feelings for him is growing everyday and this guy knows how to get one emotionally attached to him. Even though I can perceive that he wants sex with me, he never begs or act too anxious over it. He's so calm and mature and this is making me to admire him the more.

Note: He said he has talked about divorce with his wife but she's refusing it. This is where my concerns come in.
Now, I'm scared of going into a relationship with him knowing that he's not divorced yet.

To be honest, I can hardly concentrate these days because the thought of this guy has occupied my mind. Can I go ahead with him or the implications would be overwhelming? To be honest, I've not met a guy has coolheaded and admirable as this guy but I'm scared.
please I need advice on how to handle this situation.

Thanks