₦airaland Forum

Ishilove: When a person passes out and regains consciousness, does that person's head pound? I think their vision spins, their mouth feels like it has been stuffed with cotton, pin points of black cloud their vision before it finally clears away. Their head pounds when they have been struck with an object. The protagonist was choked, not pounded on the head.

Asides that, this story is the first that has been able to grip my undivided attention in my Nairaland experience. Good job Royver, keep it up. I am salivating for more.

I wanted to make this comment earlier but I got carried away by the suspense of this absolutely delightful tale

You stated that Obi would have been roughly Chuks height if he wasn't confined to a wheelchair. What height is that? You didn't state it. We don't even have the minutest detail of the physical aspect of the protagonist. Is he dark? Fair? Musclebound? Chubby? Lean? Does he have any distinctive feature?

I am also wondering; Chuks was born with a gift. He sees the good, the bad and the ugly. I am guessing his age should be between 25-27, so in other words, that is close to three decades of supernatural experiences. This means he is no rookie. I am surprised that he was not able to grasp or sense the evil sorrounding the chief. The man ought to be giving off the stench of evil in waves.

I am surprised also that he was not able to see or perceive the invisible guards for what they really are: DEMONS. This is someone who can see into a person's aura. This is someone who can see into the spirit realm. He saw the abracadabra being performed by the pastor, he saw the vulture on the chorister's head, he 'casts out' demons, heck, he even has a guardian angel. At what times does this guardian angel appear? How does he communicate with this angel? Where was this angel when the chief placed the demon of madness on the protagonist? Chuks sees things for what they really are, so how could a highly demonised chief pass through his radar?? A man like chief who is involved in blood rituals and commands demons will have a lot going on for him in the spirit. A vairiety of marks, symbols, stains etc

Gaps, Royver, I am seeing too many gaps here. You are doing a fantastic job darling, absolutely fantastic, but you are leaving too many loose ends and gaping holes in the plot. You have to work harder to fill those gaps and weave a tighter plot. Ask questions as you write (the same questions the reader will ask) and answer them. Then using your God given talent, skillfully incoporate it into the story, weaving it like the master craftsman you are turning into.

Good job!!

@ishilove thanks so much for your insightful comments! I will definitely do my best to improve. I have never fainted before so u got me with the fainting bit Iagree I have to work better on character ddescription, if you noticed my short story entry "the haunted road," I had a similar problem. Will definitely look into it although I have already typed today's update so will work on it for future episodes.
As for your other questions, keep following sister! All of them will be answered as the story progresses. More palmie?

Thanks everyone, wow! I'm glad you are enjoying my little piece. Pls make yourselves at home.

I felt my head pounding as I slowly returned to consciousness. I was lying down on the floor in a very large dark room, with a singular, small window on the wall opposite mine, close to the ceiling, not even large enough for me to poke my head through. It appeared to be evening outside and the only source of light came from a singular but large red candle flickering strongly on a mantelpiece attached to the roof. I blinked and squinted as my eyes started to adjust to the poor lighting and it was only when I tried to get up that I realized I had been bound hand and foot. The pounding in my head continued mercilessly as I tried to struggle into a sitting position. After a few failed attempts, I managed to lean my back against the wall behind me. The whole place smelt damp and sinister. I looked around me and saw that apart from being bound I had been chained by one of my ankles to a heavy looking bolt on the floor. There didn’t seem to be any need for that though, as the ropes were already doing a good job of keeping me a prisoner. I was a little disoriented in time but hazarded a guess that it had been a few hours since my abduction. Abduction; now that I had thought of that word, I began to realize the full implications of my situation. I weighed shouting for help to keeping quiet. It might be that my abductors had kept me somewhere isolated and my shouting would only alert them to the fact that I had regained consciousness. I decided to keep quiet for now.


The walls of the room were dirty brown in colour and some dried dark substance stained the walls in various areas. Below these stains were strange symbols and writings, none of which made any sense to me. I suddenly saw swift movement on the other side of the room and I struggled upright. I saw some movement again and something flew past my face. I was so taken aback I yelled out and the noise echoed all around the room. This caused more of the creatures to start flying about and screeching in high pitched tones. Bats! I wasn’t very fond of bats, with their little razor sharp teeth and claws; and for some reason my brain decided that this was the right time to remind me of a documentary I had watched on discovery channel that bats transmitted rabies. I shuddered and kept quiet as they fluttered and circled above me. Even though I couldn’t see them, by the sound they made I figured they would be about a hundred of them which would be more than enough to do me in if they decided to attack-

Shut up brain!

I forced myself to remain calm. As far as I knew bats did not knowingly attack humans, normal bats anyway. I squinted , trying to see if there was another way out of the room, maybe the way the bats had flown in. they couldn’t have come in from the window as it was closed, so there must be…

“Why are you looking up?”

I swiveled round to where the voice had come from. Mr A**** was standing there smiling, as friendly looking as ever. Beside him now stood four bodyguards, all dressed as the ones I had “seen” before. As usual they looked blank and a lot like statues and didn’t move until Mr A**** himself did.

“What are you looking at?” he asked again, advancing slowly. I tried moving back then realized I was already against the wall. There was
nowhere to move back to. I put on a bold, nonchalant face.

“The bats.” I said. “I don’t like bats so much.”

His eyes twinkled in excitement and he let out a whoop of laughter. It echoed around the room as my shout had done earlier and the bats scattered again.

“And I suppose,” he said, “that you are wondering why we bound you so tight?”

“Well, the chain to the ground thing is a bit much.” I replied.

“Haaaa! Wonderful!” he said, laughing again. I didn’t quite get it and started to conclude that Mr A**** was as mad as a hatter.

“If any other person had been in this room, all they would have seen would have been the ropes binding their hands and feet. Only someone really gifted would see the enchanted chain on the floor and my spiritual sentries on the roof! You are indeed talented, boy! Tell me, how did you acquire this power? Did you kill anyone? Sacrifices perhaps? A secret cult? I have already looked you over, there are no charms on your body, so how are you doing it?”


The chains and the bats had been a test. And I had passed horribly. I sighed to myself. There were few times when I considered myself unlucky for having the Sight. This was one of the. But then something told me that even if I had not seen the supernatural objects, he still would not have freed me.


“Come now, chuks, don’t you have anything to say?” Mr A**** asked jovially, “You are in the presence of a fellow seer; I see things that are beyond the physical realm as well. I can even tell you how I got mine, a little matter of using my wife. I had to wait until after our child was born of course, so I could propagate my name. I have acquired so much power and wealth since then, up to having y own spiritual demon guards. They follow me everywhere and have helped me out of a difficult situation once or twice. I remember one time, many years ago when armed robbers came to my house. I had just acquired my guards from the spirit realm and was eager to use them. There were five young armed men that entered my house that day, only one made it out alive. He is mad now, still at Uselu psychiatric hospital as their permanent guest. No one believes him when he says he saw his comrades being strangled before his eyes by invisible forces. I let him go then so he could spread the word to the underworld that I should be feared…

“I am not a seer.” I said.

For the first time a frown entered his face. Obviously he didn’t like to be interrupted. The nice and friendly Mr A**** that I had seen disappeared and for the first time I saw the ugliness of him. The hardheartedness and fury he held. But I was not deterred.

“What did you say, boy?” he said coming a little closer.

“I am not a seer!” I replied boldly. “I was born with this gift. I didn’t do anything evil to anyone to get it! I am not like you! Not in any way! Now untie me before I show you what else I can do!”


I was bluffing. There was nothing else I could do. I had never been in a situation like this before and my heart was pounding like it was going to come out of my chest and flee the scene, but I had to appear calm and in control. This man didn’t know anything about me. I had to use it to my advantage before things got worse.
He studied me a while and seemed to calm down. Suddenly he called out:

“Number one! Number two!

Two young and malnourished looking men came in from a small door at the side, probably the same door Mr. A**** had come in from when I was looking up at the bats. They ran up to him and knelt down.

“These are my servants. Don’t be confused, they are real.” He said and turned his attention to them.

“Our guest wants to give us a demonstration. Free him.”

They ran up to me and propped me up. In a few moments the ropes were loosened and I massaged my hands where they had dug deep into my skin. I stretched my legs a bit and felt a little better. Things were looking up.

“Alright then,” said Mr A****. “Free yourself.”

Eh? I did a quick check and sure enough all the ropes had been loosed, so what was he talking about? I took a few steps forward then suddenly I couldn’t move! Try as I might I couldn’t lift my left foot of the ground! Then I remembered. The chain, the steel bolt in the floor.

Mr. A**** was watching me curiously as if he was expecting me to do something. As I didn’t know what he wanted e to do I stood there for a while as if in quiet contemplation. Then, summoning all my strength, I yanked my leg forward.


The pain was so excruciating I had to scream out. I looked down, half expecting to see torn flesh where my left foot had been but it was still intact, not a scratch, as if nothing was wrong. And yet I felt the pain burn deep down to my bone. I doubled over and eventually had to sit on the floor. I was sweating now and almost passed out.

Mr A****’s laugh brought me back to my senses. I couldn’t understand now how I had ever thought that laugh was friendly. I tried to take slow, deep breaths as the pain subsided.


Mr. A**** walked up to me and whispered in my ear. “You have no power, do you? I’m sure you never even tried to understand what you were given. It is said that children who inherit their wealth lose it while those who suffered for it, keep it. It’s a pity you are the former.”

He walked away again and continued his speech like I never interrupted him.

“I let him go to spread the word of my powers to the underworld but not before giving him a little gift. A little something to keep those who heard the story terrified. I’d like to give you that gift as well.”

“No thanks,” I said, struggling to my feet. It still hurt a little bit but not so much. “I don’t think it will be wise receiving anything from you.”

he smiled and walked away from me. He went towards one of the walls and said something and one of the bats overhead flew down to him.


“Nina has beautiful wings, doesn’t she?” he said quietly.

“What?” I said.

“Nina. The first time I saw her, she had the most beautiful wings I had ever seen. Actually at the time they were the only wings I had seen, and I asked my master what they meant. He told me that such people had great and powerful destinies and if her destiny could be tied to mine, there would be no limit to my powers and my wealth would be even greater than I had ever imagined. But that I couldn’t just steal it. I needed Nina’s consent in the matter. I tried to get my son to create a blood pact with her but so far he has failed miserably. He even tried rebelling against me once, saying he was no longer interested in the relationship. I had to teach him a lesson…”

“You caused the accident,” I said, shocked. “Your own son!”

“Oh, I have done a lot worse, boy, believe me.” he was walking back to me now, holding one of the bats in his hands. As he came closer I gave a small gasp. The bat wasn’t a bat at all. It looked like a small monkey with criss-crossed eyes and it was chattering maniacally. It had four pairs of long arms and a pair of very small wings. It screeched and chattered as it came towards me and I drew back.

“What the hell is that?!” I shouted, but he didn’t answer. He nodded to the two malnourished men and they rushed me and pinned my hands behind me. I struggled frantically but they were surprisingly very strong. Mr. A**** was still talking.

“I had planned on getting rid of you, but I think that would raise Nina’s suspicions. Afterall, I was the one last seen with you. It would also warrant some police investigations from your office, maybe your parents getting involved, too messy. So I’ll tell you what. I’ll let you go. With this little guy on your head.”

I was struggling frantically now. That thing didn’t look like it would have anything good to add to me if I let it sit on my head. I saw the maniacal look in its eyes and heard its incessant chattering. And immediately I knew what its function was. I screamed and shouted for help but my voice echoed around the room aimlessly. Mr. A**** started laughing again as he brought the creature closer to my head.


“See you at the psychiatric hospital, chuks!” he laughed as the creature started attaching itself to my head. And then all went black again.

Darkness.



Emptiness






And then,








Light....

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Omo, see crowd! You are all most welcome. Lemme get more seats. Thanks for commenting, your comments are the encouragement we writers need to keep going.
Will update soonest.

felipemadero: I no be sir o abeg!..na like Aki I jst be o.

why una dey fear this "Sir" sef?

By three o clock in the afternoon I received a call from Nina. I was to come over to her place; there was someone she wanted me to meet. I got dressed in my Sunday best and hired a taxi. It took about an hour for me to get to the address she had described. It was an estate that was built a year ago; highly fenced with barbed wire adorned around the perimeter and security guards at the main gate. The houses still looked like the paint hadn’t dried from the walls. Hers was one of the smaller buildings, daintily placed within a hedge of well cultivated hibiscus plants. There was a Toyota jeep parked in front of the entrance and I didn’t need any supernatural powers to see that whoever owned it was financially well off. There was a driver relaxing on the front seat, his window wound down, playing some highlife music. The windows of the jeep were tinted and so it was difficult to see inside. I hailed the driver who nodded nonchalantly and went back to his relaxing. I walked up to the door, listening for any sign of a conversation and heard none. I knocked and waited a while, finally hearing some shuffling and then the door opened.

“Hello Chukwudi, so nice to see you! Please come in.” Nina seemed to want my visit to be impromptu so I smiled and played along. Her place was decently furnished and seemed to be a room and parlour affair. There was a single yellow 3 seater sofa sited at the edge of the room and directly opposite was a fairly large flat screen television mounted on the wall below which was a DSTV decoder and a DVD player. A portrait of Nina and some guy was on the wall facing the door. The guy in the picture seemed friendly enough; I would admit he even looked handsome. And then I saw him in real life.


He was in a wheelchair, one of the expensive ones, with a kind of joystick attached to the right handle, which powered a small motor for movement. He looked like he would be about my height if he stood up. The body hugging grey T-shirt did little to hide his slim features and his blue jeans matched well polished black shoes. The face was not changed much from the one in the picture, but the demeanor could have belonged to someone else. He looked restless, a little unkempt, and mean. Wrinkle lines below his eyes and cheek betrayed a face that was no stranger to frowning. He didn’t seem sad, just…frustrated. He watched me come in like I was an intruder come to steal meat from his pot of soup.

His father however, was a different character. Seated on the sofa, with two men standing on either side of him, he reminded me of the village chiefs that stared in our popular Nollywood movies. His attire was native regalia adorned with red and gold. On his head was a red cap adorned with feathers and his neck and wrists were covered with gold necklaces and a gold watch. Probably fake I thought to myself. Real gold wouldn’t glitter like that. His bodyguards wore simple native attires of the same colour only theirs was not as expensive looking as his. They didn’t meet y eye once during my entire short visit although the man himself was smiling politely at me. Nina quickly did the introductions.

“Daddy, Obi, this is chukwudi, my colleague at work and a good friend. Chuks, this is Obi and his Father, Mr A****

“Mr.? Isn’t he a Chief?” I asked. Nina looked down shyly and Mr A**** laughed.

“Why do you think I’m a chief?” He asked between his laughs.

“Because of your magnificent outfit sir.” I countered smiling. I was beginning to like this man. It was obvious he was a jovial fellow.

“How do you do.” Obi said simply and without smiling.

“I am fine thanks,” I replied. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Obi. Nina has told me a lot about you.”

“Has she?” He replied with some sarcasm. He looked her way menacingly and she fled from his stare. “She talks too much sometimes.”

“Well, they were nice things. About how kind and friendly you are.” I said with a bit of sarcasm.

Obi sighed and said nothing. I was beginning to feel really sorry for Nina. His father interrupted.

“Chuks, is it?” he said. “Have you known Nina long?”

“About a few months; she’s a nice girl and very hardworking.” I said.

“What about you? Where is your family?” he asked.

“They are in the village. I go to see them at least once a year, work allowing. It’s not as frequent as I would like though.” I said.

“Oh, that’s all right,” he replied. “Obi here never used to come home until after the accident. Said school was too busy. Where he gets the extra time now baffles me.”

“Father, please don’t start again,” Obi replied.

I had to say, I liked the old man instantly. He was friendly and polite while Obi was bitter, angry and withdrawn. I reasoned it was probably because of his condition. Throughout the visit he never smiled once, hardly engaging in conversation except to order Nina around. His father seemed to notice his son’s behavior and chided him occasionally, a gesture I was grateful for since I couldn’t do anything in defense of Nina without betraying my feelings for her. The two bodyguards stood throughout the visit and more or less did not participate. It made for a bit of a formal atmosphere. Once in a while Nina would steal a private glance at me and smile encouragingly, but other than that, we didn’t relate much. She served us all food, rice and stew with chicken, a Sunday classic. Her cooking was delicious and I complimented her. She accepted graciously and her father-in-law to be commended her for a job well done. Obi ate in silence and said nothing.

After about half an hour, I decided it was time to go and announced my departure. Mr A**** seemed genuinely sorry to see me leave and asked where I stayed and I told him. He said he was going to pick up something in the same direction and he would drop me as soon as he collected a note for Nina’s parents. I thanked him and he quickly whispered to one of the guards who escorted me outside to the jeep.

“Wait,” I heard a voice and turned around to see that Obi had followed us. He drove up in his wheelchair and looked at me from head to toe. Then he gave a nasty laugh.

“She’s mine, you know.” He said.

“I know,” I said. “You are a lucky guy.”

“Luck?” he said and laughed again. It was the most irritating laugh I had ever heard. “Luck has nothing to do with it. I just want you to know that whatever you try when I’m not around is not going to work. She will always come back to me. So don’t waste your time.” Then he turned and went back into the house.

Overly confident bast.ard on a wheel chair! I thought.

The bodyguard was already seated at the front so I opened the back door and climbed inside the jeep. After a while Obi’s father came out with a smiling Nina in his arms and Obi grumpily following in his wheelchair. He thanked her again and said he’ll be back later to pick up his son. I couldn’t help but feel that the connection between her father-in-law to be and herself was much stronger than that between her and her fiancé. He entered into the back seat beside me, leaving the other bodyguard with his son. We waved and were off.
It was a bit dark inside the jeep, probably because of the tinted glasses. Mr A**** was quietly reading a newspaper, the air conditioning was on and I was feeling a little bit awkward. Suddenly Mr A**** spoke

“Do I make you feel uncomfortable?”

“No sir,” I replied. “Quite the contrary. You are very kind for offering to drop me at my place.”

“It’s not a problem,” he replied smiling. “You do see uncomfortable though. Or is it my bodyguards?” I was a little uncomfortable now, as I didn’t know where he was heading to with all the questions.

“Well sir, you must be a very important person for them to follow you everywhere.”

He looked at me hard for a while, then nodded congenially and went back to reading his paper. I was about to ask about his son’s health when I received a text message. It was Nina.

“How far?”

“I’m cool,” I replied.

“Did you see anything out of the ordinary?”

“No, your fiancé is clean. nothing on him at all” And considering his demeanor, i found that to be odd, although i didn't tell her that.

“I’m sorry if he was rude. Has his dad dropped you off?”

“We are still in traffic. He’s a good man. Apart from his native regalia and bodyguards, I think he’s okay too. Who dresses like that these days?”.



There was a pause before I received the next message.




“What are you talking about? My father-in-law wore a suit to my house. He seldom wears native attires. And he didn’t come with any bodyguards!

My hands started to shake. Realization dawned on me as I looked at him sharply. He was still reading his newspaper quietly but what he said next chilled me to the bone.


“So.” Said Mr A**** in a menacing voice. “You can see.”


The last thing I remember was the bodyguard suddenly passing his hand through the seat and making a grab at my throat. Then all went black.

felipemadero: Keep the Updates flowing pls,I dnt feel like losin touch with d story.

Thanks sir. Will do my best .

Slipknot: [color=#770077][/color] let me know when you are through wit this ur book so that i can start allover again and read it. I hate ds read and pause thing.

A 3D graphics artist ought to be more patient, don't u think? emabinu, abeg no vex, its a work in progress.

Silkmoth33: ASUU fc lol!


Hello everybody

Heard they r calling off the strike soon.

Ms Spaqs: Hmm..

Hmmn?

Mighty Fortress: On my way home from church, I saw a man with bat wings, and horns!! Who mite he be?
OP, more!! Fire dey go!

Sounds like the devil! Run ooo!
Thanks for your encouragement.

kanechimex: Mr Royver, You Are Taking Supernatural To Another Level. Nice Job

Thanks kanechimex! You are welcome sir!

It’s a wonderful Sunday morning.

It should be a wonderful Sunday morning. The sun is out, shining bright in the sky, the birds are singing, there is a cool morning breeze pervading the entire place, an aftermath no doubt of the rains that fell last night. I have just seen Nina off (she spent the night) and we even shared a little kiss, before the okada man, grinning from ear to ear, zoomed off with her on the passenger seat. She had given me the address of her place but had to leave early so as to go to church and also prepare the place for her visitors when they arrived. We had a lovely time yesterday…so it should be a beautiful morning.

So why do I feel so sad?

Yesterday had been wonderful, we made it to Sadi’s place without any incident and there was already a live band playing. We ordered some drinks and a large barbecued catfish garnished with shrimps, tomatoes and onion rings. The fish had been roasted in foil paper at just the right temperature such that it had a crispy thin outer layer which had somehow trapped the essence of the various spices and fruit recipe Sadi herself had formulated to give a unique and heavenly taste. I never got tired of it and Nina, this being her first time of tasting it, absolutely enjoyed it. I had ordered a chilled cucumber and pineapple cocktail for Nina and a bottle of Smirnoff ice for myself. The atmosphere had been relaxing and entertaining and before we knew it we had forgotten our issues. We ordered more drinks, Nina taking a Smirnoff this time and a bottle of cold Star beer for me. We talked about the office, our families, our schools, our friends; we talked about a lot. And I saw then that Nina was even more vivacious, even more full of life than I had previously imagined.

We were halfway in the middle of a conversation and I had suggested we finish it in my place. I know, I know, it was a flimsy excuse but she didn’t complain. We got to my place about six o’clock, just as the rain had started to fall. We watched a movie, found out that we shared the same fondness for songs and played a few tracks as we talked. By ten o’clock she became sleepy and asked what she could use as a Nightie. I went into the cupboard and found a large Pooh Bear T-shirt. It fit her perfectly. I left her to have her bath in the bathroom and went to see about the sleeping arrangements. I pulled out the couch in the parlour (the chair that could become a sofa) and set it up, and then I went to change the bed sheets in the room. She had gone into the bathroom with her dress, one of my towels and the T-shirt I gave her. I was still fixing up the bed when I heard a noise, on turning around there she was, looking lovely and smelling heavenly. I wanted to have her there and then, to make her mine, but I remembered my promise…

She came towards me, smiling that her intoxicating
smile.

“Still being the perfect gentleman?” she asked coyly.

“For as long as you want me to be…” I replied with a low growl.

She giggled and pushed me out of the room. I feigned resistance a bit then went to have my own bath. By the time I had gotten dressed she had put out the bedroom lights and apparently gone to sleep. I sighed and went to the couch.


I had slept in that couch many a time when watching movies in my parlour. Never had it felt as uncomfortable as it did last night. I tossed and turned, put on the Air conditioning and put it off again. Sleep became as elusive as the real Santa Claus on a cold Christmas night. My mind kept going back to that warm body lying on the bed, the curves of those hips, the loveliness of that bosom. My throat for some reason was very dry. I decided to visit the kitchen to get a drink and in so doing passed across the bedroom door. It was slightly ajar and dark inside, the only source of light coming from the bedside lamp. I was on my way back from the kitchen when I heard her voice:

“Is that you, chuks? Please come in… I can’t go to sleep.”

I came in and, without a word, snuggled up behind her. She sighed and nodded approvingly and then closed her eyes. I did too, for a few seconds, and then opened them again. I mean, her neck was just there, so I gave it a brush with my lips. She shivered and I caressed her neck with my lips a little more, starting from the top of the neck muscle and going all the way down to its base. She sighed again and I dared to raise my hands in a caress of her supple neck and shoulders and then down the curves of her hips and back. I felt her warm body curve against mine as I continued my sensual assault but just as I was about to feel the weight of her bosom, I heard a gentle sob. I paused a bit and soon, I heard it again. She was crying.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“Nothing.” She said. “Okay, maybe something. I’m sorry chuks, I want you, I really do, but…but...”

“You made a promise.” I said simply.

“Yes,”

“And you keep your promises,” I said.
“Yes.”

“Well so do I,” I said good naturedly. “I’m switching back to perfect gentleman mode.”

She laughed a little.

“I’m really sorry chuks” She said quietly. “Can we just…”

“Say no more.” I said. I cuddled her and she went to sleep.


I had awakened this morning to the sounds of movement and when I looked at the time it was a few minutes to seven. I had eventually slept off more than an hour later last night despite numerous protests from every cell in my body. I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room. She had already gotten dressed and when she saw I was awake she pulled me out of the bed to escort her to the junction. She explained that she had to be in church by nine and her room was a mess and she had to go fix the place up for her visitors…


It was supposed to be a wonderful Sunday morning.


But I kept getting this feeling that today would mark the end of my relationship with Nina.

Guten Morgen.

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Austeenx: What the...

This is crazy!
I mean, crazy with a capital "C"


Good job, sire.

And it might get even crazier! Welcome bros. Have a seat. There's popcorn and shawarma at the corner if you want some.

Queen xstar: Love It's uniqueness.
Wonderful job.

Thanks sister

Nimen: Did you get ma e-mail? I'm dying to post this on fb

Ok av replied ur mail. Send me ur Facebook link.

princesa: And it gets even hotter...

Hello Mi'lady.

Her head was still rested firmly on my shoulder. She hadn't moved a muscle and for a moment I thought she hadn't heard. I loved the way she scented, her perfume was sweet and soft just like her skin which was right now rubbing against mine. Her body was warm against mine, just as it had been on the day we kissed. I cherished these moments, all the more so as I risked losing it all in a few moments...

"What did you say?" She asked, her head still on my shoulder. I wished I could see the look on her face, so I could gauge what her reaction was going to be like. I raised her up and held her by the shoulders so that she was looking straight at me. Her features were, well, blank.
"I said, I see things that others do not see. Things that nobody, actually, should be allowed to see."
"You mean, you hallucinate?"
"No I don't hallucinate," I paused. This was going to be difficult to explain. "I kind of see into the spirit realm, or third dimention, or whatever you want to call it. Everyone has that ability, only, not on this side of the veil."

"The veil? What are you talking about?" She was beginning to get alarmed.

"The spirit world is divided from this one by a veil. Look, forget the intricate details, what you need to know is that I see things that make me able to read people, know their problems or gifts, and sometimes help them out when I can."
"Like the pastor the other day?" She asked
"Like the pastor the other day." I affirmed. "He was doing fetish things with the oil he was using on the people he was praying for, only that I could see he really didn't want to do it but rather his wife pushed him into it. You know, a miracle here, a manifestation there, and his congregation would swell. But I saw into him and realised he didn't want anything to do with it. So I pretended to go for prayers and instead advised him to stop. He was grateful. Hence the thank you. "

She listened on in silence. She had this look on her face like, ooooooh, so that was what that was all about. I watched her for a while longer wondering what she would say next. When she said it I wasn't too surprised.

"So what do you see when you look at me?" She asked.

"You have beautiful wings."

She looked at me a while and then registered shock and surprise as realization dawned on her. "That's what you said the day we met! You weren't looking at my boobs!"

I laughed and she laughed as well. It was amazing! If it had been a white chick she would have probably told me to go and see a psychiatrist. But I guess Africans and especially Nigerians were a little more accommodating when it came to supernatural issues. Or maybe it was just her personality. I was relieved though that she seemed to be taking this revelation rather well. however I still had something I needed to tell her.

"There's something else," I said. I had since let go of her shoulder and she had relaxed into the chair. But now she sat up curiously.
"Your wings. They are tied pretty tight with golden chains. I have honestly not seen that before and was wondering what it meant."

Her eyes widened and she impulsively looked at her shoulders as if to see if she could spot anything.
"I honestly don't know o, this is the first time someone is telling me that I have wings talkless of chained wings. Can't you find out for me? Do they look heavy? Maybe they are my sins?"

I shook my head. I had thought of that before but it didn't male sense somehow and besides I would have seen it on someone else by now. Unforgiven sins usually appeared like dull grey rusting chains tied around a heavy ball of steel and attached to the ankles of the ones who carried them. They weren't beautiful or shiny in any way. This golden chain however seemed tobe both a blessing and a curse to her. A thought came to mind and I voiced it out.

"What if it has to do with the relationship you are in? Maybe your decision, being a selfless one, is what makes the chains golden. Its a good decision but self limiting. What do you think."

As I explained, her countenance became sad. She said nothing but tears came to her eyes. I can't stand seeing ladies cry, it does something to me, makes me feel helpless somewhat. So I brought her close to me and hugged her, offering as much emotional support as I could. She stayed in my arms for a while but then suddenly pushed me away.
"No! That can't be it! You don't understand, you're just using the information I gave you to make things up so you'll score points with me. Well I'm not falling for it!"

Seriously?

She got up and started to gather her things. I watched her, my mouth open in surprise. Weren't we just laughing a while ago? What had I said to warrant this? why was she hot one moment and extremely cold the next? The chains around her wings appeared even more tight today than it had been yesterday and i wondered why i hadnt noticed it before. I suddenly remembered something.

"What happened last night?" I asked.
"Huh? None of your business!" She retorted.
"You called him, didn't you? You are going to meet him soon, maybe even agree to go ahead with the pact even though there seems no logical reason for it!" I had raised my voice a little. "You are about making a huge mistake!"
"Its none of your business!" She repeated hotly.
I threw my hands up in exasperation. In a way she was right, it wasn't any of my business. I was letting the feelings I had for her cloud my judgement.

She saw that I had become quiet and stopped fidgeting.
"I'm sorry. Maybe I over reacted there a little. Its just, its complicated. His father has been very good to me and my family."
I closed my eyes and said nothing.

"His father has agreed to come and see my guardians." She said suddenly. " He is coming with his dad to my place tomorrow so we can discuss a few things."

"I see," I said, "well, far be it from me to play the devil's advocate in this scenario. The truth of the matter is I've fallen in love with you. I wake up in the morning everyday with the hope that I'll see you smile, or laugh or just talk. Everything about you is beautiful to me"

"Chuks..." She said.

"Please dear, let me finish. I'm not really one for putting my feelings out there but I have to let you know this. Its becoming obvious to me that you may not feel the same way. Still I can't let you go knowing that you're getting yourself into a situation that will hurt you. That's why I'm trying to make it my business. If you don't want me fine, but don't sign off the rest of your life to a guy you don't love just because you made a kid promise some years ago."

She sighed and sat down again. We were quiet for a while and I could hear the gentle rumble of thunder.
"It seems like it's going to rain." She said. I nodded absent mindedly. This was definitely not how I intended spending my Saturday. The atmosphere in my room was tense and glum and I suddenly felt sick of the whole thing.
"Screw this, I'm taking you out." I said.
"What? When?" She asked, taken aback. I got up and yanked her to her feet. I felt her exhale as I drew her close to me. Those lips, those lovely eyes...perfect gentleman, perfect gentleman....
"There's a nice spot a few yards away called 'Sadi's place.' I said. 'They sell the best barbacued fish this side of Lagos. We are going there now."
"But, the rain," she said hesitantly.
"It's an indoor place and they have taxi for charter in case we want to go anywhere from there. Come on, it beats sitting around here moping, abi?"
She laughed then and agreed. I wore my shoes and we went out the door
"You know, maybe you should come along to my place, maybe tomorrow," She said as we were going. "You'll get to know my house and you'll meet Obi. You'll see his not a bad guy at all. A bit glum, but not bad."

"Let's see how today goes first", I said. I wasn't particularly thrilled about meeting my competition but it was an opportunity to know her place so why not? And besides, maybe I could read him, and see if there was anything that required me worrying more about Nina.

[quote author=Mynd_44]Been watching Hollywood movies again abi?[/quote]

Ishilove: Very interesting story, Royver. I like stories that deal with the supernatural, because whether we accept it or not, the spiritual controls the physical.

I have a few observations. I'm using my mobile phone so I can't highlight the parts I will touch, but since you're the writer, I know you will be able to pinpoint them easily.

The first meeting with Nina, Chuks describes her lips as "glorious brown lips". True, as negroes our lips are brown and light pink (fair complexioned folks), but the confusion (for me) is "Why did the lips look brown?" What made them nice looking? Is it the shape or the paint on them? Did they have gloss on them? What made them glorious?

You let us know the lips are glorious, but you didn't tell us what made them glorious. You need to let us know what makes those gaddem lips different from Iya Kpomo's lips

Pock-nosing: Pokenosing

In the church scene, the narrator states that he didn't like going to church because he ended up being the one to cast out demons. Now this statement caused me to raise a shaggy eyebrow.

We have been told that Chuks is a seer, but nowhere did the narrator mention that he had the gift of casting out demons. Being a seer and having the anointing to cast out demons are two different gifts. In other words, Chuks is a deliverance minister since he can cast out demons. Apostle Paul stated that we have different gifts;prophecy, teaching, healing etc, "There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit gives them: 1Cor 12 vs 4. " Hence if Chuks can cast out demons by the power of God, then you should have stated it clearly and not bring it in without preamble, or as a side-note. Let the readers know clearly that the protagonist has other gifts (the key word is CLEARLY)

The Fire. You have made several references to fire. You need to paint a clearer picture of the kinds of fire in the story. The fire that lights up a person when they see the object of their desire is different from the kind that will engulf someone under a supernatural influence. The fire at the church scene would have done with more elaboration. It won't be the first time Chuks will be seeing someone in flames, so by now he should be able to differentiate between the fire of God and the fire of the devil, like the one coming out of the pastor's bottle of abracadabra.

This is where the elaboration should have come in. For example, The devil's fire is a bleak red with dark spots in it, God's fire has a golden halo around it etc etc.

Details details details. . .

Alter- Altar. Alter is a verb which means to 'change', 'tamper with' or 'distort'. So the proper noun is 'altar'.

Sleveless- Sleeveless

Remember that as writers, we paint words with pictures so we have to be very meticulous in detail, no matter how tiny. Nothing too over-fleshy, though, but necessarily detailed.

Also be consistent with formatting. Space your work well so that it will be tidy and not cumbersome for the readers.

Keep it up, you've got nowhere to go but the top

Aha! I talk am...I know say as una don dey come I gat to sit up! Thanks for your insightful comments ma. Pls allow me to explain a few things here.

Chuks does not view himself as a seer, neither does he have any ambitions on being a deliverance minister. He was simply born with an ability due to a certain oversight in the spirit realm. Even though I said he "casts out demons" I didn't mean it in the pentecostal sense per se. Its more like, they know who he is and so can't play any tricks on him or he reveals their powers thus rendering said powers useless. Like the pastor with the oil, he didn't really cast out a demon but he gave the pastor encouragement and kind of showed him the way. Thus the pastor freeing himself from the bondage his wife was leading him into. Thus a kind of "casting out" was done.

However...something else might have remained with chuks apart from his spiritual sight...something even chuks knows nothing about. Stay tuned!

As for the fire, yeah, that was an oversight. The fire of lust like from the woman when chuks was a child encompasses the entire body and is a blood red flame. That in the church was more orange like and kind of superficial in nature, i.e burning only on the surface and not within(for those of you who still want to visualize it ).

As for the typos, na phone I dey use so sometimes I go just tire. .The other corrections are all duly noted. Thanks so much!
*brings out more fresh palmie from the fridge*

Nimen: I can't, can only send e-mail

Kk send me an email then. Nice story u have there.

iamteaser: This is cool I swear. Don't just abandon this story o. One question tho, what do you mean by "wings"?

Literally, wings. Like the ones you see on angels in mediaeval art. The psychiatrist asked the same question. And he had teaser written on his T-shirt. But that's in a later chapter.
Stay tuned