₦airaland Forum

Hummmm.....
I gave birth exactly a week ago and reading this story just made me realise how much i had taken the whole pregnancy and birthing experience lightly.
My goodness.. God would certainly give you more children,he knows best.

Hum, i hope his madam would listen

Sometime in the past, my husband for no serious reason wanted my househelp to go, he kept insisting and it even led to an argument  with me justifiying all the way. I didnt see her as his type, body structure wise (no curves) or neatness wise (infact this particular girl had a very offensive body odour, i kept buying rollon and perfume for her, i could hardly stand her smell). so my mind did not go to that direction. Not to talk of the ones who are appealing

Because I was so desperate for help and the girl could relatively do her work well i kept giving excuses for her telling him i could manage.

Long and short she had been making passes at the poor man,thats why he kept insisting she should leave. I dont want to go into details, but that episode left me scarred, but thankful for the kind of husband i have. I felt he should have come out plainly to tell me what the matter was, i believe i would have dropped her like hot potatoes

You would have someone accountable for you, that watches ur back, that is a part of you. Someone who would care for your needs sincerly always having u in mind. Marriage can be fun, the togetheress can be wonderful, though the excitement of boyfriend girlfriend is no longer there. that fantasy(even though exciting) is replaced by a sure firm affection. Then if the marriage is blessed with kids, now thats cool. u see ure self manifest in little ones, ur traits, ur character, it can be amusing and fun.
Then u have someone waiting on u, at ur beck and call. she cooks ur food, serves u, could help with ur laundry, keep ur home front and might even contribute to finances. I even think its more fun for guys sef. For women all u get is that ure a Mrs and people could respect u or snigger less about you finish.

Marriage and the politics of it can be fun really. Esp when u find a good woman and if u urself are good. Being good christians or muslims would also help. Cheers and good luck on ur string of girlfriends, hope u dont get distracted and miss the good ones.

I know someone that was denied a good job because he wasnt married, he couldnt convince the employers that he was a responsible person, esp as he had worked in good jobs for up to 8 years.

So try abeg,

Thanks alot every one.
@hispinkolo, i actually wept when i read your quote, i think i would print it out, so i can read it over and over again, esp the part of not letting the kids know about it, very important, thank you. Most helpful.

pady and tipia, thanks a bunch, i do understand your analysis. in my family we are 2 girls and 3 boys, while my husbands family there are 3 girls and 2 boys. Fair mixture. I guess ultimately its the God factor. He gives, He knows why he gives when He gives and decides to whom He gives what. I had prayed so hard from conception till now,even made promises to God, but He alone knows best. Maybe my own will turn out ike yours pady, so lemmie keep prayin.

I would try to research into the gender selection in the US and what exactly they have to offer(if u have any website or sometin that would be helpful), but in the midst of all these, this pregnancy thing is not easy, the tot i would go through this again makes it so depressing, it just brings ur life to a halt in a very uncomfortable way, i feel like crap, everytime. But its also good to remember that there are some seeking for and that dont have, so i should be grateful for the crappy feeling . This life sef!!!!!

On my huby, well may the Lord give him strenght, thats all i can ask now, esp as the marriage is inter-tribal. me sef may the Lord give me strenght. I hope there would be no battle ahead . I no fit!

Thanks guys once again, at least i dont feel as suicidal as i did in the morning. Cheers!

I had wanted to start a topic, i ran a search and stumbled on this thread, theres no need duplicating things.

I am pregnant for my third child and just found out its a girl after two girls. I feel depressed and miserable, infact i couldnt sleep last night. We tried to do all the maths, the ovulation tingi, the chinese calender and it didnt work.
I believe a woman can achieve whatever she wants to achieve, i am a testimony to that, but, i still feel we are second class citizens. My husband still has to talk and i listen, he has more rights, he leads i follow, so no matter where a woman reaches, man na man.
I could be called a feminist once upon a time, but i have learnt in my marriage that for peace to reign in any institution there has to be hirecacy. I now have peace in my family becos of that. So i cant be convinced that a woman and a man are the same thing. Now i am about to bring another one into the world.
You might wonder why i am writing, well i need some form of comfort, i am sad, angry, depressed, and i feel so dissapointed. I dont even think my husband can have anymore patience with me. I expect a grouchy behaviour from him. I have hidden the scan status for now, as there is no need for both of us to be miserable let me bear this cross alone for a while. I am due in about 3 months.
No insults please, i really dont need that right now.
Thanks