I have to avoid both
My cult and other opposition cult

Chai

Correcting a mistake is hard

Thanks all

Do have a GReaT month

Will try my best to turn the tides

I can't move out of my current location due to some certain circumstances


It's going to be difficult pulling out
Am pretty popular
Respected by my members

I think I know how they going to react
There's only one way out I know of
Death

Will try my best though

Church , gradually reduce cult activities and time spent
Slowly drift back
Maybe I might go unnoticed and without represial
I pray it's worth it

osothermal:
I was in your situation before but God redeemed me , i am happily married with a son now

Please how did you do it?

1StopRudeness:
Thais part got me laffing....."I just wanna be normal, like every body else"

Yo dude!!! Nobody is normal, we are all trying to keep it together, by forming or adjusting a bit..

why do u think women shave off their beautiful eyebrows and draw another stupid one with a dark pencil? No offence to ladies ....

Why do u think guys keep running around stealing pants.....
People wearimg torn ragged clothes, dressing nakedd, showing cleavage..

It's because Society have just created an unconscious standard for everything people stupidly follow.

Man..!!!!! Create ur standard for happiness in the confines of capability, dream big if u like...Cos all this social construct will only put u edge u will always wanna leave up to .....And that's depression and suicide around the corner.....YOLO man!!!

Thanks for this
I just needed someone to pour out my heart to

'Nobody is normal'
Thanks

ValCon888:
Kill yourself. You'll still die either way.

This kind of comments made me hate myself , hate other pple as well

Why can't you put yourself in my shoes and comment like a reasonable fellow

Few kinds words would have done a lot of good than this

There are others like me out there who want to come out
But pple like you are also out there frustrating their efforts

Abjay97:
Dont give up hope, you can still come out and stay free

Thank you

sherylbakky:
First u av to love ur parents, even tho u inherited som tinz from dem, remember they ar not their own creator, and with dos characteristics in dem dey both stil find partners.

Dat's telling u som1 is out ther 4 u, all u need is courage

Quit bn a cultist, i knw its not easy n i knw it might b difficult esp in higher institution...But if "possible", quit.

Heyyy, stop drinking n smoking,that's gonna b chasing responsible ppl away frm u.

U need better ppl around u, so u av 2 lead a better life.

Be responsible, gather courage n start aving female frnds...Start frm ther.

Thank you bro

Athena4:
No one forced you to join cult. Low self esteem and anxiety is not an excuse to be fuçked up.There is no such thing as normal,there is no such thing as whole. No one has everything they wish for.
You foolishly allowed moronic judgement get to you.
Now you have your yeye power and fake bravado yet nothing.
Anyway I hate cultists with passion.
You are a potential danger to someone somewhere.
So do the world a favor and end yourself before you end someone.

You are correct

Maybe I might take your recommendation

jasonguru:
If your mother has understanding, talk to her for help, some people here will make ur matter worse

She's going to make it worse
Thanks for your input

Hello nairalanders,
Welcome to my story



I am a male in my early 20's

I have had a not too good life
Though I have never lacked financially
Except cos I spend foolishly

I grew up shy, lonely and afraid of everything
I hated my body shape , structure ,posture and gait
I still do
I got ridicule for everything I did
I hated my parents as well cos I felt I got all these from them

I never had a friend , not close with my parents
I couldn't confide in them cos they would ridicule me later with whatever I had told them
And I would feel bad and cry
I cried almost all the time
I suffered emotional blackmail

Buh I laugh whenever someone's talking to me even when I don't want to , I can't help even when it's not funny
Maybe it's d anxiety

As I became older I grew to love my space
Gradually drifting away from the world
I started smoking , drinking. Tried to get my confidence
Wanted to get the ladies too

But all these didn't work

I grew interested in cultism and joined one
I wanted to b strong, unafraid , bold


But it's been years now

I have grown in rank , I am feared
Though I have never actually killed a person
Buh I haven't changed a bit ,I have known deadly guys
I should be strong now but am not
I still fear , am still not bold , am still weak
I still don't know how to talk to girls

I still get anxious easily , anxiety still makes me laugh when pple talk to me even when I don't want to

I want to please pple all the time even against my own good
I still feel hurt

I don't know how to stop all these cos I might b pushed to doing even greater evils

All I have ever wanted is to be whole
Be like everyone else
Buh I can't


I know I am to blame for everything
I could have acted differently
But I didn't
I just want to be normal
All these thoughts. Feelings drove me into becoming this

I should have gotten over this now
I went to boarding, I join a cult the beatings should have made me tough
But it didn't
Now it's driving me to be even worse
Pls help me before it's too late