₦airaland Forum

Gberigbeboy:
time will come we'll hear the truth

Which truth different from what I have presented already? Anyways, it's fine.

Gberigbeboy:
you Bleep your wife sister or not

No, I did not. I won't be helping myself lying. It did not happen.

ravensckar:
Trust me, it will roll over if you manage it well. Firstly, resist the temptation of telling your wife. Nigerian women neither forgive nor forget. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Secondly, resist the temptation of letting your sister in-law blackmail you as well. And try not to have any conversation with her about it ever again. Quietly move on like nothing happened.

It was a brief moment of "emotional weakness", don't let it ruin your marriage. Please handle it well.

#Peace. ✌✌

Hmnnnn!
This is deep. Thank you for your kinds words. Trying to heal up. Thank you again.

ravensckar:
Dear OP, do not dare tell your wife anything lest you'd be signing your own death warrant. Women are creatures of assumption. The moment you tell her that you and her sister kissed, she'll assume that you knacked severally and that you even impregnated her and aborted it. Trust me, you'll never know peace again in that house.


At the same time, do not succumb to your sister in-law's blackmail. Avoid her as best as you could and whenever she acts disrespectful towards you, deal with the issue decisively especially in your wife's presence. That way, if she tries to say any nonsense, everyone will assume her to be a "home breaker".

I hope you too have finally learnt your lessons on how never to sh1t too close to home. You self no try o. Sister in-laws, your wife's relatives and friends should be off-limit nau. Shey dem no give you the orientation ni?

I do not even need orientations, because I am fully aware of these things myself. It was a foolish and regrettable moment for me. This was not the devil’s doing, it was just foolishness, and I know that well; I have overcome far greater temptations in the past. I only hope this can pass forever.

Divaan:
I would have asked if you could do this with your sister but I remembered my next house neighbour who just got jailed for sleeping with his daughter. He's been sleeping with his underage teenager for years despite having a wife and numerous side chicks. So, immorality is not a function of how many bedmates you have but a function of WHO YOU ARE.

With the feud going on between you and your wife's sister, I wish all your shenanigans get exposed, so your innocent wife knows who she's married to. Imagine the manner of conversations that goes on between you and your wife's sister. You've reduced yourself to a pinch of salt.

My advice for you is that you work on changing WHO YOU ARE because I'm sure you're expecting me to blame your wife's sister for tempting or seducing you or even dressing provocatively or maybe you're expecting me to blame your wife for working night shift, when really the problem is YOU.

I wonder if you would ever get any iota of respect from your wife's sister again. Some guys your age are still very unstable in their emotions and sexual feelings and expressions and they take it right into marriage causing wives a lot of problems but I believe you can change yourself and get some discipline and maturity.

As I mentioned earlier, this is not who I am. I am not wayward, and I do not engage in inappropriate behaviors. Before my situation, I strongly condemned such actions whenever I heard or read about them, just as you have rebuked me in your comments. The incidents only involved kissing, and there was never any sexual intimacy. Thankfully, I was able to regain my senses, and it has not happened again since then, until she brought it up last night.

I have prayed about this and genuinely believe I have worked on myself. I consider myself mature and disciplined, but this still happened, and I am deeply ashamed and unhappy about it.

Thank you for your comments though!

Zaheertyler:
Chaiiii
Op sorry

All this things never ends well
Expect your wife to be angry for 3-4 months but she will come back
Send the message as a text on WhatsApp..lay emphasis on the we never had sex, self control and forgiveness prayer
Tell her how sorry you are but don’t beg her much or start to mumu yourself with the begging
Take responsibility
And when you both settle buy her a wonderful gift..


Don’t blame the sister too
It’s what every lady in her shoes will do

The truth will set you free
But tell the truth with wisdom
I will pray for you tonight that if truly you are sincere In your heart the almighty will restore everything in your marriage
Cheers 🥂

Thank you so much for this. God bless you!

Mariangeles:
This is it!

You why do care so much if she hates you? [Not that I support you throwing her under the bus, but that you tell the whole truth to your wife]
You have feelings for her, and are not ready to let her go.
Stop deceiving yourself.
You ain't fooling nobody.

No, I do not have any feelings for her, and I am not making excuses either. The challenge is that she does not have any other family members capable of supporting her if she leaves. And also considering the economic situation of the country right now. Asking her to move out would raise suspicion, and my wife would be so unhappy if her sister left because of what happened. I am hoping a positive development in her life will naturally create a reason for her to leave soon, unrelated to this situation.

I have no lingering feelings for her and I have dealt with those desires since the last incident. It would have been easier for me to have affairs outside, but I never did. In fact, I feel deeply ashamed and disgusted by my own actions. I just believe there is a better way to handle this matter without resorting to her leaving abruptly.

budaatum:
You saying he should lie that his sister in law kissed him, when he himself admitted "a hug escalated into an intense kiss"?

Hopefully, he knows his own lie will be less believable than his sister in law's who has nothing to lose.

I won't even tell such lies because the girl will forever hate me.

Ab025:
You sef.

you should not have allowed it happen na.... u don't play such games very close to your home not to talk of your wife's relation...

Something I did not even play outside. Just imagine...

oluplus:
Don't you think your sister in law will spill sooner or later.

It seems you are more concerned about your reputation that your wife's happiness.
Whether she knows or not, you have crossed the line and if your respect her enough, you owe her an apology.
Pls ignore if this is not a Christian marriage. I may not be making sense.

Now it's becoming more scary. You are making sense Sir.

Ab025:
Simple,

When yournwife returns, just tell her that her sister suddenly kissed u without warning after u guys hugged....that you are no longer comfortable with her staying in your house, she needs to.move out.

I hope u don't send lovey-dovey messages to the sister on phone or WhatsApp o...no cast yourself o

Note - that her sister will blackmail you with that incident, better you act first

Not a single evidence to show. Nothing like messages or whatever. I have never done that. It was never my joy in all the instances.

Kobojunkie:
I am sure you are but it does not change the fact that what you described is literally you cheating on your wife with her sister.

You are right. I feel so bad right now.

oluplus:
Report yourself to your wife and be free. Yes, she would be hurt but with time, she would forgive and you will be fine together.

For your sister-in-law, it's time to leave. Please let her go.

Moving out is not an issue, but the moment this happen, her family and mine will eventually know what transpired, I am well respected in both families and reputation is still there for me to keep. I am not a wayward individual at all.

GboyegaD:
Tell your wife what transpired and tell her the sister need move out of your house. She will not cease until you succumb and once you do, you are totally finished.

Moving out is not an issue, but the moment this happen, her family and mine will eventually know what transpired, I am well respected in both families and reputation is still there for me to keep. I am not a wayward individual at all.

immortalcrown:
How did the inappropriate hug start? What led to it?

That was actually not the first time we have been hugging, even in my wife's presence. It was something we felt normal and not emotions attached to it, until this happened.

Kobojunkie:
You cheated on your wife with her sister and you are here asking us how to avoid facing the consequences? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I am actually sincere with every word I wrote there. We never had sex, it did not happen.

...but they never progressed to sexual intimacy, as I exercised self-control.


I am 34 years old, married to my 31 years old wife since 2020. While we are still trusting God for children, I have remained faithful to her throughout our relationship, since dating, courtship and marriage. I mean I have never had any affair with other lady/woman since I met her in 2018 till present. However, I am currently facing a serious issue and seek your counsel.

In September 2023, my wife's 21-year-old sister moved in with us due to challenges she faced while living with a relative. I genuinely care about her and my wife's family as a whole. My wife, a hospital worker here in Port Harcourt, often works night shifts.

In October 2024, an inappropriate incident occurred between me and her sister, a hug escalated into an intense kiss. This happened twice more in November, but all these three times, they never progressed to sexual intimacy, as I exercised self-control. During the last incident, she asked if it would be wrong to engage in further intimacy to have sex, instantly I realize the gravity of what I was getting myself into. I immediately set boundaries, the next morning we prayed together, asking for forgiveness, and since then, no further incidents have occurred, not even a single feeling.

However, I have noticed a shift in her attitude towards me. Recently, she has become disrespectful, and despite multiple discussions with her, her behavior persists. This evening, after reporting one of her actions to my wife over the phone, I later tried to have a conversation with her. During our conversation, she became defensive, disrespectful, and expressed her desire to leave the house. She confronted me about our past actions, insisting that while I reported her wrong this evening, I should have also disclosed our actions to my wife, even though we never engaged in sex.

I pleaded with her to keep this issue dead, as my wife does not deserve to know about this betrayal, she deserves better from both of us. She has calmed down for now, but I am deeply troubled. My wife is returning tomorrow morning, and I want to ensure this matter remains resolved and private for the sake of my marriage and trust. I would appreciate sincere advice on how to handle this situation and prevent any further harm.