₦airaland Forum

I met my girlfriend in February 2026 she is 20. She lost her parents few years ago. When we met she told me how she was raped in October 2025 in Abuja in the course of her work. After a month of dating, she told me she didn’t see her period, she then went for test and the nurse told her she is 3weeks pregnant. We tried aborting since weren’t ready yet for a child.

Due to how big her tummy was growing we decided she went for another scan. The scan result came out this April, 2026 and is plus 6 months pregnant. Doctor advised her pregnancy has gone far, hence aborting is not an option at this stage.

She told me that the pregnancy is not mine. That it’s from the guy that raped her last year. Worst thing, she doesn’t even know anything about the guy.

I love this girl but i am not happy with the situation currently. I don’t want to train someone’s else child, let alone a child whom the father nobody knows. I’m contemplating on ending the relationship with her and assisting her in anyway possible as a neutral person not a boyfriend.

Please my fellow Nairalanders, your advice is highly appreciated

I agree with 2baba on this. Burna boy is ahead of Davido and Wizkid in Africa and globally

I don't think men are afraid of successful women. men are just avoiding trouble. men stay where they find peace.

Single mother again

One - minute man!

Take your loss and move on. Time and chance happens to everyone

Am also with a single mum. She doesn’t want to let me go

spice123:
Op I think this issue is state based. Lagos in particular is difficult to find a wife who will remain faithful because of the environment. Have you seen other states?

This also applies to Abuja

lovediehatelive:
On and off, but started picking up lately

I will advice you to keep your options open by finding another lady to make out something for the time being, because the odds and probability of your GF coming back to you after NYSC is 50/50 or less

How old is the relationship?

So true

Is it not a side chick she should be? What does she have to offer any single man?

Kobojunkie:
. First of all, understanding what dating is all about. It is not a dimensional activity. Neither is it all about finding the other person, but also about finding yourself.(Yes, during the dating phase, you are also meant to do a lot of self-assessment and self-reflection and do major work to better yourself as an individual, so better people will find you in general.) It is erroneous to think of it as some numbers game where the less you do it the better, or the more you do it the worse. You unnecessarily get frustrated by reasoning along those lines.

Another thing you need to know when dating is that there is no one potential mate or partner out there for you. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator splits personalities into 16 different types. And there are possibly those out there who fall in between more than one personality. 🥱🥱

When you consider other factors, such as emotional, social, and mental intelligence of individuals, you realize that dating could never be as straightforward as you would like for it to be. Finding the right person for you — emotional, social, and mental intelligence at any given point in your development — is wholly on you, not really on the other person. A person may be right for you at age 25, but totally wrong for you by the time you reach age 30. So, again, it is all mostly about you and where you are, and not necessarily about the other person. 🥱🥱

Makes sense

Goo0dHardDick:
Women prefer guys who uses them. They don't want the man who comes to them professing love. This is why bad guys will forever be chased after by girls.

How do you use a woman?

Mistersolar:
how many month ...is she rude and disrespectful

Over 6 months now. She does not come off as rude and disrespectful but she occasionally flair up at times

Bendeco02:
Single mother don't favor any man.

Nothing to gain from single mothers in marriage.

I’m dating one currently, but with this your comment…hmmmmm

Baronthecelebri:
Get her pregnant first

She has gotten pregnant for me but we aborted tho I was not ready then for a child

infogenius:
@ op

Bros, let me give it to you straight with correct pepper 😂:

You’re in love with a woman who has four kids (eldest 15), and she’s nice, caring, homely, understanding, cooks premium jollof, and still doesn’t clear your account.

My guy, this one na WIFE MATERIAL with four free bonuses attached! 🤣

But let’s talk like men:
1. Four children no be beans. When you marry her, you’re signing up for a whole starting XI. School fees, JAMB, “Daddy I need iPhone 16 for assignment”… all of una go dey speak English together.

2. The 15-year-old go soon reach 18 and fit dey call you “bros” while still raiding fridge at 2 a.m. 😂 Are you ready for that energy?

3. She’s been separated over a year and doesn’t stress you for money? That’s a massive green flag. Many with one child will reset your account before you spell “babe.”
This one is managing four and still has love left to give you. Protect her!

4. The real question isn’t “should I continue?”
It’s: “Can I love these four children like my own, even when they’re forming Gen-Z and dragging me on TikTok?”

If your heart says YES without you first checking Bet9ja balance, then bro, you’ve found a rare treasure.

If you’re already sweating when you calculate school fees, quietly love her from afar and let another man with deeper pocket and stronger heart carry the baton.

Bottom line:
A good woman with four kids is still a good woman.
But love no be Nollywood; e get Part 2, 3, 4… and the children no dey pause.
Pray, count the cost, and if God says “enter,” enter with full chest.
If not, wish her well and run before the 15-year-old starts calling you “Uncle Daddy” 😂🏃‍♂️

You go dey alright, king! ❤️

Thank you so much. This means a lot to me. God bless 🙏

BItt:
You can not be in love with a single mother, she's tricking you. Remember, her heart will always be tied to those kids and the men she bore them for.

Look for another younger person to date.
A woman with 4 kids cannot love you, she's lying to you bro

I think you are right about her heart being tied to her kids. Cos there was a day I ask her to come spend the night with me at my place, but she refused to come because of the kids

Onegai:
Savvy19, my advice has NOTHING to do with her Single motherhood.

There are a lot of Single Mum's who make great 2nd wives (one comes to my mind )

But she's rushing into a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

She has casual friends and acquaintances telling her to "move on! That man has moved on with other women! Don't dull yasef!" (We all underestimate how much BAD ADVICE recently divorcees and separated people are given).

Her family and people who truly love her will be telling her to focus on herself and her kids for now (which is correct).

She's lonely, Hot and emotionally broken and here you show up, like Sir Galahad, giving her attention that her ex hasn't given her in over a year.

Of course she will respond like an Angel.

But it can't last and that's where reality will hit and you'll find yourself wondering how you slept in Bourdillon and woke up in Agege.

Then you'll start to shout "Omo never date a Single Mum o!"

Same thing with Single Dad's: go and ask the women who rushed and dated him before he had healed. Someone that just wanted to bleep but was confusedly asking you to step into his wife's role without recovering himself, his family and kids will hate you (but nobody will say anything. Then one day, small fight and "I never asked you to move in with me! You're the reason I couldn't reconcile with my wife!" just know that the cane that they used for the 1st wife has been brought out of the cupboard to use on you. Na your turn to cry

I get the point you are trying to make

Onegai:
Savvy19,

Please end it with her.

Don't even fool yourself by saying "oh let us be friends and I'll be hanging out, move in with you and loving you (but we won't define the relationship) whilst you heal". It's a stupid, manipulative tactic and her family and kids will see through it and hate you even more.

End it. Turn her into a friend from afar.

She's not ready to date anyone. She just left a 15-17 year marriage. You are such a REBOUND you may as well be a UEFA cup football hitting the goalpost.

She's wonderful to you right now because you're in the Honeymoon stage: her ego is bruised, she's broken emotionally, she hasn't recovered from her ex, she's trying to prove to the world that her ex was the problem (so trust me, you're getting the Ikoyi version of her, reality will be Aguda when it hits or Mushin when both of you realize it was a Rebound Relationship and you're in the Wow-This-Was-A-Bad-Idea era).

She needs to sit by herself and heal and focus on herself for a while, get herself together before dating.

Men do what she's doing: rush from Marriage into a Long-term Relationship and Another Marriage. They look happier than Yul Edochie and 2face and swear loudly about finally finding "peace".

In 5 years' time, they will quietly stop posting happy piz online and start sounding philosophical on their WhatsApp status (eye don clear and they've started to regret). It's why 2nd marriages fail higher than 1st marriages.

For your sake, protect your heart and give her space and distance. In 2-3 years' time if she's still available, go for her.

Thank you very much for this advice

Kobicove:
You're in love with her money, say the truth and let the devil be ashamed

As a man, I have never asked her for any financial assistance or favor

Kingsasian:
perhaps she needs you for company. I still believe it is too early for her to move on. I won't advise you to fall for her

Thank you for this advice. Sometimes, am having this same thought too

I am in love with a single mother of four kids. The eldest is 15 years old. She is nice, caring, loving, homely and understanding lady. She has all the qualities I want in a woman. I love her but I’m concerned about the welfare of the kids afterwards in the relationship. She has been separated from the father of her kids for over a year now. She doesn’t demand money from me.
I don’t know if it is a good idea for me to continue with the relationship, or I just let it go . This lady has really been good to me.

Why am I feeling this guy is over doing this thing !

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing?

Na tow tow be this one problem?

This p*rn star

Wizardslayer:
And 185 out of 200 girls had been used according the latest record.

How person wan take marry now

There is no way to marry again bro

TheMaterialist:
Any man that desires an easier life would do well to let go of his ego.


Ego is the main cause of suffering.

This is deep!

zezebabs:
Everything you say is true, I man should be smart and wise
Any serious mistake could be costly for a man

Nothing but the truth