₦airaland Forum

wazobiaforu: No be only you de laugh, in fact many people in my office want update to keep them laughing, I put his call on speaker anytime he call now and people shake head in sympathy for him. he suppose don know but he too dull, they believe everybody in Abuja are money miss road.

TribalEAST: Am sorry to ask, but why do almost all girls have a pic of them in the passengers seat of a car? It's likely now the trend. I just wonder why they don't take their pics in the drivers seat.

mayorall: you dey laugh me

Opepadi: as for me oo.....i always call my ex twice a week ,just to seek her advice on my affairs...we guys even lyk our Ex than our gal gan self.

Crocz: O ya show me the guy who did this to you....*rolling up my trouser* *fighting mode activated*

Whizpeter: I remembered sometime in May when I wanted to buy a new phone, I searched for Samsung Galaxy S3..
Out of the numerous results I got, one made me laugh so hard. It read
"Very clean Samsung Galaxy S3 in good working condition"
Price: N10,000
Kilode....!
Unfortunately for the id*iot, he lived in my area (Ejigbo, Lagos) so when I tried to set up a meeting with him, he refused, telling me to make payment at the Ejigbo branch of First Bank and come with the teller, he said he hates moving around with cash and I was like "When did common 10k become cash??"
Anyway sha, I insulted his entire generation that day.
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Last month, I was tired of my bold 5 and wanted a change, I saw a distributor on OLX who claimed he could make free delivery to all states of d country.. He said he z doing that to guarantee customer's satisfaction..
I called and inquired about a couple of phones..
In d long run, we settled for a UK Used Blackberry Torch 3 @ 14k
I sent him my details via text as instructed and he told me he would make d delivery to me the next day..
I asked of his office or shop address so that I would know where my phone z coming from, but he was evasive..
Everything went fine until 11am d next day when I called to confirm if my phone would surely get to me on that day so I can make preparations to withdraw and keep money for them at home..
The idi*ot told me that I had to show commitment because they have had customers in the past who after ordering for a phone would either reject it or not turn up at the agreed meeting point..
I asked what kind of commitment he wanted and he said I should pay 50% of the total money for the phone into a bank account, then I would pay d remaining 50% to the delivery agent when I get the phone..
I told him I wanted a Pay On Delivery and I won't pay until I inspect the phone properly and I'm satisfied with what I want to buy..
He ended the deal with that call and I felt angry at the disappointment cos I had already sold my bold 5 and I thought I would get a replacement that day but I still felt happy that I wasn't scammed.
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Now my resolution z dz..
If I want a london used phone, I go to Otigba Street, Computer Village.. There z a trusted dealer there.. I think their name z Blackberry Hub..
If I want a New phone I would go to Slot or Order from Jumia..

mayorall: May God destroy scammers and those that are destroying online business. I Also sell online and use corporate accounts for those far away. This online scammers will never see anything good cos they are really spoiling business.





Abeg I done swear?. Nah the thing dey paying me oooooo

wazobiaforu: Base on my own and my colleagues in office conclusion, more than 50% of advert on Nigeria OLX are scam, mostly on Auto,Phone and Tablets.
I tried my possible best to avoid them by not checking on too cheap price of a phone that I know it worth far more than what is been posted, few weeks ago I was in Lagos with my brother checking OLX for a car, I called several people and I was shocked when most of them will never be at where they posted on their Ads. fortunately and unfortunately one of them was in Lagos as it was on the Ads but to my surprise he said he will bring the vehicle to my house for inspection, I agreed on the spot but gave him address to a school close to my house, he later said i will pay for mobilization and fueling of the car, i said no problem when he bring it, then he said i have to pay the money into bank account or send recharge cards, I just cut him off

Two days ago, I checked for Q10 and saw some good moderate price deals, make calls and all the people I called were scam crawlers, so i stopped wasting my cards and decide sending messages to them, so one of them replied who is purely and cheap scam daddy and the conversation goes like this:

Note:
- He was part of the people i have called earlier, he told me to send him my address where I would want the phone to be delivered.
- The name he used on Yahoo is raymond okey

Raymond Okey: i dont understand what you mean by peace park abuja.

ME: thats the address

Raymond Okey: Is that where you want us to make the delivery to? hope you know you will have to show a commitment, because the money you will send will be what we will use in sending the goods down to you, and we will use the teller number on the deposit slip you will send to us as a parcel number on the receipt we will issue out then at the point of delivery the delivery agent will verify the goods afterwards you pay the balance to the agent.

ME: what money and where am i sending it to

Raymond Okey: your just showing a commitment and that will also be the money we will use in sending the package to you. The payment will be made into the owner of the companys account which is also subject to your verification. if you want the delivery made to you, you will make payment of 30% worth of what of what your buying a day before the actual day of delivery so we can package your goods and make plans for the delivery, after payment send us the teller number because it will be included in your parcel id number on the package.

ME: ok, so how do i send it


Raymond Okey: we have uba and fidelity bank accounts, which one will be convenient for you? when do you want the delivery to be made?

ME: delivery today or tomorrow, give me the two account in case one has a crowd.

Raymond Okey: we will make the delivery to you tomorrow and you have to send me the details of where you want the delivery to be made to and your full name and at least two phone numbers of diff networks because of network problems. i will send you the uba account first and if you find crowd there then you can tell me and i will send the other account to you. Oni Jacob 2070509056 UBA

ME: am replying you from the office, may not have access to internet once i leave for the bank, why cant you just give the two account because i will go to bank road in Maitama where there are many banks close to each other

Raymond Okey: ONI JACOB 6233844960 FIDELITY BANK. ONI JACOB 2070509056 UBA

*** After doing some background search on the name and account number I found out that the full name is ONI EMEKA JACOB***

ME: ONI EMEKA JACOB ?

Raymond Okey: yes sir (Idhioth, saying sir for me and he sound older but I like it sha )

Raymond okey: plz we are still waiting for your details.

*** He called me on phone and tell me they are waiting for my information and remind me that i just need to pay 30% before delivery ***

ME: is there any problem if i send it all? (forming O.B.O )

Raymond okey: It will still be very okay if you wish to make the full payment at once.

ME: I just hope I can trust you, so how much am i sending now?

Raymond okey: We agreed at #28,000. please send me your details so i can start packaging your order now. (am very sure the mumu has forgotten how much we were dealing with, what is he packing that he need to start quick, na shit? )

ME: for used Q10? nooo, we can only have a deal of 20k

Raymond okey: Sir you dont have cause to worry, this is not the first time we are making deliveries. hopefully after this first transaction the customer relationship and trust must have been establisheed

Raymond okey: the phone you are buying is very clean and it still has all the accessories, because of how clean it is that is why we put 6months warranty tag on it. That is the last price you can get it for. if you get it cheaper anywhere you might be at risk of buying a refurbished phone that will crash soon.

Raymond okey: my manager said i should give you for #27,000 so that we can make you a life time customer.

** He called now, forming another voice acting like the manager, saying his staff said i want to buy a phone and that he has ordered him to sell it for me at price i begged for(beg who? me wey i de catch fun ) that i should send my details after i make the payment, that all they need is paymet slip receipt number, my name and address when i want it to be delivered, I told him I will go pay by 2:30 to 3pm, he sound happy because it was after 2pm already and said he will call me by 3pm***

-- He called exactly 3pm and i told him I am very busy in the office and I will do internet transfer, he quickly use style saying he did not call because of money, that he called to tell me they need my information to start packaging the phone.


ME:Name: Omugo Olelomo ( that is a Yoruba language meaning Omugo- Stupid, Olelomo- Thiefchild)
Phone : Q10
Address: peace park, Utako, Abuja


BUT WHY ? I have sold and bought online and it was a good experience then, but why some Nigerians are ready to damage any good platform out of laziness, People should just try to be very careful with this people, they can plan to meet you at a place for delivery of goods and they will practically plan to rob the buyer from that point since they know the buyer may go with cash



MOD - please move to appropriate section and let people learn because this people are draining Nigerians seriously and that is why they are many

Sanchez01: It is not a necessity. However, it is advisable you choose from the same faith as you. Reasons for this are glaring and they could rob on you and your spouse later on. Often times, it results to clash of beliefs, ideology, church upbringing, level of faith, etc. I know of a church that does not believe there is God . They believe Jesus is all and there is no God. The church in question does not believe in the Trinity! The reasons for denominations are best know to the founders of such churches but if you look closely, you would discover that the doctrines are different and some are devilish, blinded, deceived and short of understanding of the scriptures, and worst of all, dangerous. I'll be blunt here and I'll give a real life example:

A man and a woman of two different faiths got married. The lady was from a modern day Pentecostal and the man, from Jehovah Witness. They got married and lived wonderfully until something happened. A year after their marriage, the woman became pregnant and on the day of her delivery, she birthed her child but lost too many blood. She strolled to the point of death and the doctor called on the man and explained the whole thing to him, and that they needed blood to save the life of the woman. The husband, who shares the same blood group as the wife, refused and rejected the idea of passing blood to his wife. According to him, blood is life and God considered the blood of any animal sacred because it is life (True). The man claimed a miracle would happen because he knows God will step into the picture, without passing blood to the wife.

This went on for a while until the parents of the lady showed up the next day at the hospital, to save their daughter while the husband insisted his fath does not permit it. To cut the long story short, one of the parents donated blood and the woman's life was spared. OP, you raised the question and now I ask you one; God forbid, if you were the wife, what would you do after leaving the hospital?

uniqueama1: Pls I want to knw y most Christians want a partner of d same faith/denomination for marriage.Are we not one in Christ?So y wld pple or even Parent and sometimes d church encourage us to get married to someone who is of d same denominations with us?Others of other faiths are seen as not gud inof for a spiritual alliance.Cos of dis believe we have unconsciously imbibe dis tin of wanting to knw d faith of d person we r in a relationship with n to knw if it will be taken seriously or not!Is dis supposed to be so?Pls dis isn't abt inter-religion but inter-denominations.

datboyjerry: Yesterday, I was kidnapped, one of the abductors asked me which of my family member will they call to pay the ransom. I told them that my family members have been avoiding me since i came back from Liberia with fever and diahria (Ebola symptom).... I have not seen the kidnappers since after our conversation. The whole compound is empty and i am very hungry. I don't know whether to start coming back or should i wait for the kidnappers to come back and give me transport money What should I do


Visit www.jerrylenbang.co.nr for more jokes

bintexhimself: A grieving younger brother got the shock of his life after he found his sibling ‘wriggling around’ inside a zipped-up body bag in a morgue in Brazil. 54 year old Valdelucio Goncalves was found alive inside a body bag after doctors declared him dead.
Doctors claimed the man had suffered “respiratory and multiple organ failure” and declared him dead a few hours after his family took him to the hospital on Saturday August 23rd. His family then took what they believed was his corpse to the morgue inside the Menandro de Farias General Hospital in Salvador, northeast Brazil. The next morning Val’s brother Walterio was allowed into the morgue to dress his body ready for his funeral later in the day, only to get the shock of his life. Continue…

As Val’s brother approached the body bag, which had been laid on a table top all night, he saw it moving. Walterio told Brazil’s G1 website

“We had already made all the arrangements for my brother’s funeral. All I needed to do was put some new clothes on him, so he’d be ready for the undertaker to come and collect him.

“Workers at the morgue let me in, and showed me where he was lying, in a zipped-up body bag. But as I got closer I could see it wriggling. Then I saw it raising and falling as if he was breathing...Read more

Frankenstein: A girl isn’t mysterious. The way you think and the way girls
think are just a wee bit different. Women are more
compassionate by nature and are more forgiving. Guys, on
the other hand, are more aggressive and violent, and hold
on to grudges for a lot longer.
Just because men and women are different in the head
doesn’t make women complicated confusions. It is pretty
frustrating though, when a guy just doesn’t take the effort to understand a girl better.

To help you understand a girl and her mind, here are 23
things girls wish guys knew about girls. It’ll definitely help
you understand the girls in your life better, and they’ll
appreciate you for the nicer guy you’d become once you
know these things too.

#1 The staring game. Girls don’t like being stared at, unless
we’re reciprocating to your stare by staring back. So the
next time you’re sitting at a coffee shop trying to catch a
girl’s eye, look at her a couple of times. If she seems
disinterested and doesn’t lock eyes with you, let her be.
She’s not interested in you, and you boring through her
brain with your x-ray vision won’t change her mind.

#2 Staring at other girls. If you’re on a date with a girl or
spending time with your girlfriend, try to avoid staring at
other girls. And if you can’t help yourself, take a quick,
casual peek at the girl in the next table and avoid looking at
that girl again. Trying to exchange eye contact with another
girl is disrespectful and insulting to your date. When you’re with your new girlfriend, don’t flirt or compliment another girl about something you haven’t complimented your own girlfriend at some point of time before. It’ll upset her, because she’ll assume you’re more fascinated by the other girl. If a cold shoulder comes your way after that, don’t assume that your girlfriend is too complicated to understand. It’s just your big foot that’s stuck in your mouth that messed up this time.

#3 The special days. Yes, we may have more special days
in our lives. But that’s only because we try to make every
other day feel like a special occasion that’s worth
celebrating. If you can make the effort to remember our
special days and plan for it in advance, we’d only fall more
in love with you with every new special occasion. And don’t
forget anniversaries and birthdays, that just hurts a lot more than you think.

#4 Shave encounters. We take a lot of effort to look our best
for the special guys in our life, even if it takes an hour a day
to look perfect. But sometimes, when we’re feeling really
comfortable in love or on a lazy weekend, we could let go
now and then and overlook shaving our legs or grooming
the little bits of hair here and there.
Yes, hair does grow on girls too, as surprising as that may
seem. So don’t make a big deal about it. Be nice to your
lady, and wipe that mortified expression off your face when
you see your girlfriend’s unshaven legs. And really, pulling
your own pants up and comparing the length of your leg hair with her leg is so not funny!

#5 We love talking about feelings. Almost all the time, as
humans, what we say isn’t always what we mean. So
instead of just using our imagination to decipher harsh
words, accusations and sweet words, girls like talking
about it. Have a warm conversation with a girl, and it’ll
definitely bring her closer to you. After all, all girls think a
great conversationalist is an excellent catch.

#6 Chivalry is not dead. Many girls may not like to wait for
a guy to hold the door open for them or pull a chair back for
them all the time. But it’s definitely a nice feeling when a
guy treats a girl chivalrously when he’s on a date with her.
We find it very uncomfortable to be with a guy who doesn’t
understand basic courtesy, especially when all other guys
around know how to behave and treat a woman with
respect.

#7 Cuddling and spooning. This is just as important as sex.
For a guy, penetration is sex. But for a girl, penetration is
just penetration. Sex is pre-intimacy, penetration and a bit of
afterplay. Sex is an emotional connection for women. When
you have sex with your woman, make love to her and spend
time with her, not just while having sex, but at all other
times too.

#8 Shopping sprees. Girls love shopping. It’s like therapy
and it makes most of us feel good even when we’re feeling
down. So instead of behaving like a stereotypical male who
pretends like he hates shopping, join us now and then. It’ll
be fun, and we’d really appreciate it if you could help us
pick the stuff that looks great on us.

#9 Our girl friends matter. The opinions of our friends
matter, and we take them into serious consideration. So if
you’re trying to impress a girl or win her over, pay attention
to winning over her friends too. If you can win over her
friends, you’re already half past making her fall in love with
you because her friends will turn into your evangelists.

#10 Trust a girl with her hands. Girls are more dexterous
and have better hand skills than men, so trust her when you
need to pull a splinter out or jiggle a key. I could go as far
as saying girls better drivers too *based on statistics* but
hey, we won’t go there now!

#11 Don’t beef up. Girls don’t always like brawny men who
can’t reach around and wipe their own ass. A bulked up
hulk may awe other men but they almost always never
impress women. To a girl, machismo doesn’t always mean
bulky muscles.

#12 We fake it. Now and then, we fake it to make you feel
better even if we’re not having the orgasmic scream of our
lives. But that doesn’t mean you should take it easy in bed,
and avoid trying new things in bed.
Even if we don’t always say we want something better in
bed, we do drop a few signs later to let you know you could
have done better. We’re not trying to puncture your ego,
we’re just trying to help you get better in bed.

#13 Fair and square. In a relationship, we want the same
rules to be applied to both partners. If you don’t like us
talking to a particular guy or don’t want us to go out on a
ladies night, the same rules should apply to you too. Don’t
try to control us and on the other hand, do whatever you
like. It’s unfair and we’d never be happy in a relationship
that’s biased.

#14 Funny guys. We love humor, in any way you can bring
it, just as long as it doesn’t hurt us emotionally or
physically. Girls are always drawn to guys who have a
sense of humor. If you’re not a funny guy, memorize a few
jokes. We’ll love you anyway!

#15 Revenge. This is more of a warning than a thing girls
wish guys knew, but it’s important for you to know this
nevertheless. A guy may use brute force or throw a punch to get his revenge. But a woman’s mind doesn’t work that
way. A girl always gets her revenge psychologically. So if
you’ve pissed a girl off and she’s smiling at you, you have
every reason to be afraid… very afraid!

http://www.lovepanky.com/men/understanding-women/things-girls-wish-guys-knew

lirusehn:

gudrated: Hmmm. That's good news for me. You just disappeared for days. I was waiting for your response for a long, long time

lirusehn:

lirusehn: i wud wish to have a horse