"Those northern groups are Ipob miscreants, our darling daddy buhari has defeated all terrorists and bandits in the country" - Nairaland Zombies.

Sai baba till 2030

The liars are here again for another damage control.
As for me, I don't care what happens, They can shoot themselves to oblivion, at least, the problem of Nigeria would have been half way solved.

Tufia!

I rather drink urine than drink this 'thing'.

China and their strange recipes.

We all know that El Rufai is a monsterous bigot and an unrepentant extremist. But seriously i don't blame him for saying that rubbish, I stay in the North and if you see the way these Alhajis and money bags are using our southern women Corps members, you'll weep. They throw themselves at the men because of money, It's a fact, Some sleep around with Camp officials because of juicy postings, El Rufai don see us finish na, You will hardly find a northern female corps member doing this.
These girls are giving them the opportunity to say trash about us. Rubbish.

Ramos16:


Look at your country before you call another useless

Nigeria is among the useless bunch na.

sarrki:
Wailers have finished obaseki completely

Anything wailers touches its doom

Your mumu never do?

Bubu the mumu touched Nigeria and the country is heading to doom.

luminouz:



I stopped reading after 'Girls stick to only one'....

Where dafuq u been living? Open ya eyes bro or it will end in premium tears for you

I thought i was the only one that saw that. Just imagine...

Girls these days that can't survive with only one guy.

All na mouth, They won't do anything to South Korea.
North Korea is arguably one of the most "useless" countries in the world, the only thing they know is nuclear weapons, threats and issuing ultimatums.

pmoye:
Op, you're a smart son of Naija.
Abeg next time you touch a babe and she dey cry like that, no dey think say na cry of joy o. Run. Run for your life. If she turn around come claim say you rape her na im word against urs e go be o.

Na like this e for go down bro...


Prosecution counsel: Why did you rape my client?
Impostor: Walahi ta lai, I no rape Sindi! (licks finger points it heaven-ward). In fact, na she call me dat day come tell me say she dey lonely.

Prosecution counsel: But you checked in at Raper's Logde hotel 24th Bourdillon Street on the fateful day... My Lord, I am presenting exhibit 12, the receipt the accused got for checking in at Raper's Lodge hotel.
Sitting judge: Prosecution counsel approach the bench...(receives exhibit 12)... You may continue your questioning.

Prosecution counsel: So Mr Impostor, did you or did you not lodge at the said hotel on the said day just within few hours of meeting the victim?
Impostor: Ah, god see my heart o, say I no rape am... I no be rapist...
Prosecution counsel: Please answer the question, yes or no?
Impostor: No... I mean yes.

Prosecution counsel: Did you know that in the last two years a total of the 1,204 rape and sexual assault cases recorded for the state, 1,015 of those cases took place at Raper's Lodge hotel?
Impostor: Ah, I don die! I never rape for that side before...
Defense counsel: rushing to his feet. Objection! Objection!! The prosecution should stop his leading line of questioning...
Sitting judge: Sustained. Looks sternly at the prosecution counsel.
Defense counsel: May it please your Lordship to strike out my client's response to that question.

Prosecution counsel: Sorry your lordship. Let me rephrase (facing Mr Impostor). In a Facebook post credited to you on the 12th of July 2019, you posted and I quote. "Raper's Lodge is da bomb. Perfect acoustics. The rooms dingy, the gals dizzy, your dearest impostor cruising between wetness and power. That's how we roll bi.t.ch. Y'all want it or not, y'all gonna get the best of yours dearest. Their father! Mic down! I'm out!". End of quote.

Impostor: Ah mogbe mogbe... That one no mean anything. Na joke I dey joke bros! Looks at his defense counsel, Which kain question this enemy of progress come dey ask me biko. Abeg help me answer am... I swear... on my mama's name, I swear I no rape am. In fact when im start to dey cry I come dey worry small. I ask waiting dey, she talk mek I continue, na tears of joy and appreciation. Na so I continue...

Prosecution counsel: Let it be on record that the accused just voluntarily confessed and under no duress whatsoever that his victim was under much pain and discomfort and was crying when the accused was forcefully having sexual relations with her.
Defense counsel: Your lordship... I need five minutes time out with my client.
Sitting judge: We don't have time for all this. Your client is entirely in control of his faculty, and I see no reason to disrupt the cross examination. Waves at the prosecution, You may continue.

Prosecution counsel: Thank you my Lord. Mr Impostor, while raping...
Defense counsel: Objection...!

Prosecution counsel: I'll rephrase... While having penetrative sex with her, my client was crying... Yes or No.

Impostor: Ah...my enemies don catch me... just when I come hook one job...after all the suffering of joblessness...for six years! Satan biko, why now now... Ah.! My enemies strong o! I gree. I no argue again... I tell you say na my first salary I take carry that babe out...

Defense counsel turned down his head in dejection and helplessness as clusters of laughter erupted from the court. The judge banged the gavel and bellowed Silence! A faint almost imperceptible smile creased even the sitting judge's face. The Prosecution counsel knew he had him exactly where he wanted him. The stu.pi.d guy. Consent should be rocket science after all. One day for the thief, today is for justice.

Prosecution counsel: Please yes or no. The accused should stop deflecting. Yes or No!
Impostor: Yes o yes o! She dey cry. But not much... she dey cry o..

Prosecution counsel: Thank you Mr Impostor. I like your honesty. I want the court to note the cooperative demeanor of the accused.
Defense counsel: Objection!
Sitting judge: A little irritated. What is this objection for this time?
Defense counsel: The prosecution should stop patronizing my client.
The judge was momentarily lost on how to rule, but she wouldn't hide her disgust. She simply waved the Prosecution counsel to continue.
Defense counsel: Your lordship should kindly rule on my ....
Sitting judge: Overruled. Prosecution counsel can continue.

Prosecution counsel: So, Mr Impostor, how would you say a woman you're having s*x with that was crying had given her consent...or you just felt consent was not important for s*x?
Impostor: Noo. Noo.
Prosecution counsel: You mean, consent is not important for sex, or that it doesn't matter that my client was crying and begging you not to do it?
Impostor: No! Absolutely no! The accused looked at the despair on his counsel's face. Impostor started panicking again and addressed his monologue to his lawyer. Walahi talahi I no understand this man's questions. I no understand am shikinin. You tell me say if I no understand the questions I should just answer no... I am in trouble o.

This is wonderful! Thanks

My question is: WHY DIDN'T YOU FOLLOW THE PARTY CONSTITUTION FOUR YEARS AGO?

Mozino007:
E get one guy here on nairaland u can ask but i forget his name

Airforce 1

Mtcheeeeww

flokii:


You think?

If Nigeria coughs or sneezes, Africa trembles. Those in AU, ECOWAS etc. can relate.

Which Nigeria??, This same one I'm in?

The one that's being governed by a senile dullard?

The one that is a laughing stock in the comity of nations?

flokii:
All hail the giant of Africa.. surely we'll get there

Remove the two first alphabets from "GIANT", that's what Nigeria is.

This administration can hype themselves eh...

Those countries no know say hunger wan finish people for here?... Nigeria that couldn't share palliatives to most of its citizens is the one this government is claiming other countries are begging for food, they should come up with a better lie please.

I can't imagine myself eating snake meat, No way!.

Him get mind o

They should be sent abroad for 'further studies'

I really feel for private school teachers. I thought of them some days ago, They are one of the most affected set of workers this period.

... While bubu the mumu is in Abuja sipping fura and eating gworo, the bandits are having a field day in his state.
Bubu the mumu has failed his people in particular and the whole country in general.

Nice description. Warri!

It can only be India.

Arrest cows and rams

They have incurred the wrath of bubu the mumu.

Bezos said "You're the kind of customer I'm happy to lose". I love that. Stupid racist customer.
I always tell people this, that mentality of "customer is always right" is a wrong, archaic and fallacious statement. Are the customers not humans?... Are humans infallible??... Some customers can really be annoying.
He and his fellow racist scums can cancel their orders, it doesn't affect Amazon in any way.

Liars

Blackmoran:
Mostly it is guys that feel hurt the most, cause all most all relationship the guy put in more effort and receive less probably all he get is a pity sex... And secondly girls have more option than guys...try this task register on a dating site if you are a guy register as a lady under 15 min you will revive like 60messages am not exaggerating... Now compare it when you register as a male if you see 2 person reply you, you are lucky and out of those two 1 of them is a guy pretending to be a girl.... That's the reality of dating game in the real world... So guys if you in a relationship always have plan A -Z.. Your girl has so many option and remember she is never yours but its just your turn....

End of discussion!. Just said my mind.

jneutron4000:
bro we dont need to show this Iyanmiri any pity, they do not deserve it. They are children of hate and the habour evil plans for Yoruba Nation. I thank Eledumare for using that run away coward nnamdi kanu to exposure them. Listen to their radip biafra and hear the hatred coming from them. No two ways about it, they shall be dealt with and chase out of Yoruba land this decade.

Chai!

See chest beating.

You can't do more than a dead ant.