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baralatie:

stay away from office relationships!

My dear, would you like to share why you said that?

Teagirl:
You tend to worry too much,, why not enjoy the moment and stop thinking about failing,, and if you are not ready to loose your virginity don't go into the relationship as most Americans are sex freak...virgin@28 is so cool..

Word @ "you tend to worry too much" Thanks for the sound advice sister!!! Too many "what ifs" going on my Mind right now

There is this guy at my job that I like so much and I think he likes me too cos he's been flirting with me at work. He is American and I am African.

He wants us to hangout for the past 4 months but I keep turning him down all the time. I am almost 28 but can't keep a steady relationship all my life. My worry is we work together and our colleagues are already spreading rumors about us dating because we are kinda close☺️

Another thing is I am a virgin and most American guys are obsessed with sex. Fact is I like this guy a lot and would like to start something with him but I'm scared of failure. Any advice would be much appreciated!!

On and off!!

Sanboy25: Stay out of this bro...

I am female Sanboy

She is my friend i can't watch her suffer.

webcam: first i will like to know if this happen here in nigeria?if yes there is more to the story.....$3000 is not 3000 naira.....ask ur friend to tell you all the story

It's not in nigeria. The guy is nigerian but we are not.

Please take few minutes of your time to read the story, I need some matured advices for a friend.

My friend called me to say some guy owed him money and part of that does not belong to her and that the guy promised to pay her back in two weeks time but he failed. So she asked if i could go with her to the police station. I closed very early that day just to believe what i was hearing cos my friend is a very careful and cool lady(dunno what happend to her in this case)

When we get to the station the police asked why she gave the money to the guy and she said the guy told her that he wanted it for a business transaction and that he would pay her back in two weeks. The police asked her if the guy was his boyfriend she denied saying that he is just a 'friend'(even though i just have this feeling that they were dating).

My problem is the lady is my friend, very good friends infact but i have never seen her with the guy or even heard her mention the guy's name. My friend is not even into dating business that much cos cs shy, reserved and well mannered. I was so curious to see the guy(I haven't still met him). We went with the police to pick him up but he was not at home, the police officer asked my friend if she knew her office, she said she knows the area but not the exact location. We headed to the area and started asking around( the guy has a cleaning company)for about one hour, luckily a guy directed us to the place. We went to the premesis but he was not around.

The next morning my friend called me to say he has been arrested and they were at the police station. I couldn't go cos i was busy at work.

They all gave their statements and he agreed that the lady actually gave her money and he was supposed to pay back in 2weeks but he has no money. They entered into an agreement that he would be paying by weekly instalment. They started off fine but the guy is not paying regularly anymore. Now my friend is really really desperate cos she has to settle a colleague with part of the money. The police are not even helping matters anymore, something tells me that he bribed them. I gave her two options: I have a customer(my friend and i are bankers) who is a top military officer, we could get him arrested and detained till he provides the money or let her involve her family lawyer(cs fom a rich family). She refused both options saying she does not want to harm the guy or disgrace him by involving military men, neither does she want her family to be involved cos the lawyer would obviously tell her mom.

I was gutted! she was actually concerned about the boy than her money. Now my question is why on earth would a lady give a guy about $3,000.00 just like that(without ant collateral or witness i mean)? Honestly i would've doubted the story if she's not my friend. I know she is really frustrated that's why she opened up to me cos she's the secretive type. My instinct tells me there is more to the story cos the mere fact that she does not want her immediate family to know baffles me.

Folks any advice for my friend cos she is sooo frustrated right now.

lol this is just crazy! and why would a lady slap a guy at the first place? argument or no argument.... It's just unacceptable

Onegai: If you feel empty and lonely inside, then this relationship is probably not good for you. Also, he should be calling you if he likes you.

Onegai: If you feel empty and lonely inside, then this relationship is probably not good for you. Also, he should be calling you if he likes you.

Onegai: If you feel empty and lonely inside, then this relationship is probably not good for you. Also, he should be calling you if he likes you.

care to expatiate on the bolded part please?

omega25red: The question is did he know you weren't going to have sex with him before you got to his house or did you wait for him to almost pound you before you put the breaks on the situation. I ask because people forget that sex does happen. It happens if you are just dating just friends or getting ready to be married. some guys 7 out of 10 probably will stop chasing a woman if they were about to have sex with a girl and she stops the action.
some men also will stop chasing a woman after they have had sex with her because there is playing hard to get and there is playing hard to get. Anyway i don't know how you can fix this seeing as you like him a lot and i wont suggest that you sleep with him because if he is angry now he might just want to mark another score on his card. you should probably talk to him


oh yea what was he adamant about?

He didn't know..... i had to stop him @ a certain Stage, but i know he's not angry cos after that we got talking. @Id, i told him several times that i was not Happy with the distance he created but he keeps telling me that he's just busy at work thats all. I don't intend to compromise my standards by having sex with him, i personally b'lieve there is more i could offer for now than sex. But will talk to him and see what happens..... Thanks for your time guys

I have been on the sidelines for a while now i really think i should share my problem with the gr8 nairalanders for some quality advice.

I met this great guy 11mnths back and since then life has never been the same for me. At first, hardly a day goes by without him sending me a msg and sometimes i call to check on him. I went to visit him and we were intimate(no love making tho) cos i'm not ready for that now, which i told him. From my observation i think all he wants is sex, because since after that he hardly sends me msgs or calls me. Most of the phone calls and txt messages i make, which i don't mind. But again i don't want to be clingy, on several occasions i dediced to delete his contacts but then i realized the more i try to take him off my mind the more he appears.

I have not felt this way for a man for a very long time, which i already confessed to him. But he is still adamant, making me b'lieve he is just after sex.

Sometimes i feel so empty and lonely. I really want to be with him cos he is my dream man but things are not really working. I also have the feeling that he likes me but he's not making any effort.