₦airaland Forum

PrettySpicey:
Indeed ignorance is bliss as the ignorant remains unaware.

I have become matured and I'm not talking about my usual bf and gf. Actually I am talking about hubby and wifey.

And for one in a mixed marriage, I repeat it is only in African that the 'woman no get church' notion exists and thrives.

But thankfully there are always exceptions to the rule.

And the two becoming one has absolutely nothing to do with personalities... they are one, yet they are individuals and will remain so. And dignity is personal.

I hope this makes sense to you.

You are African right? and why would you want to copy and behave like the whites in virtually everything?

Of course there are exceptions to the rule. In life nothing is absolute, everything is relative.

Yes dignity is personal, but losing your dignity, personality or who you are has nothing to do with your decision to follow your hubby/spouse to his church. I suggest you employ a more liberal approach to issue like this when it comes up in your life rather than this stiff approach of yours...you will need it. Just an advice

Peace!

nikkyshyne:
I wasnt comfortable with mine. I love the hymns in the anglican church i attended but I was lacking in great sermons and that uplifting spirit. He on the other hand was born in a catholic home but his parent didnt make it mandatory for them to attend the catholic church. He loves the catholic church but sometimes follows his sister to her redeem church.
So when we met, and things started gettin serious he brought up the topic as a matter of fact. I am glad he isnt rigid 'allelluia'.

However, we go to my chapel(anglican) once in a while and he goes to the catholic church when we arent going to church together. But we go to church together most times. Feels good to pinch him once in a while when a good sermon is on .

Lol...need i say that his family weren't really into the catholic (devoted)church since his siblings attend other churches

@bolded, that is the essence, there's nothing lie couples doing things together in unison, cant just imagine married couples attending different churches/denominations, where then is the togetherness and oneness that marriages seeks to project?

Glad thou you have a partner who isnt 'rigid'...Hurray!

DestinedSharon:
It all depends on d matter on d table. For instance worship place: there are churches I'll never step my feet into. So if I love d man in question n wish to be with him, I'll tell him in a very cool mood ''Baby, I dnt like this Ur church n also do not wish it comes between us, pls, lets look for a better church to be worshipping with together...'' this discussion will always be in d course of our dating not after marriage.

That is a logical approach you have there and it matters a lot. I agree! Issues should always be discussed prior to marriage

babyosisi:
My dear I dey o
Winter wan turn person to okporoko but God won't agree
I don't know if they even have the heater on in this work place
My internal organs are even feeling cold
I don't know if they want my blood to congeal
E remain make I carry blanket come work

lol...i can imagine how intense winter could be over there, hope you put on some thick fur-lined coat and headband for cover, and do as armyofone suggested....

DestinedSharon:
Oga, who said following him to his church is part of being submissive?

It is whether you agree or not

Anyways as for me, I like dialogueing in a r/ship. If I love U that much I does also likes ''everyother thing about U'' and neva tries to change any for U. But that wouldn't stop me from making myself clear by telling U d things I will not accept. There should always be a mutual agreement in a r/ship which must be adhered to in a marriage.

an example of those things you cannot accept includes??

I agree on the part about mutual agreement thou

babyosisi:
Some responders could be 15 or 16 yrs old
Nairaland has no age limit

You're right on the money....most just talk for the sake of it.

Btw being a while osisi, how have you being? i see your god work at DJOLA's thread

PrettySpicey:
It is only in Africa that this following a man to his church is practiced with blind vehemence, because it is only here that a woman must lose the entirety of her personality and dignity all in the name of marriage.

Mtcheew!

Please, it's a matter of choice. If she wishes to support him and does not mind the move, all well and good.

But a wife is an individual, not a property.

ignorance is bliss! Wait till you become more matured and knowledgeable to understand more about marriage, you think its your usual bf and gf?

We are talking about a union here, where two become one. What do you meaning by losing ones personality and dignity? does that make sense to you?

nikkyshyne:
It is all about agreement. Mutual agreement. My bobo is catholic and I am anglican. We talked about the church we shall attend when we get married and eventually settled for a particular redeem church we both are cool with. That is the church we attend presently.

Wedding will however be at my anglican family church.

I don't understand it...did you chose redeem out of neutrality or you both weren't comfortable with the churches you attend before for two of you not to have retained one of 'your' churches?

BreezyRita:
Warris dis one saying?

he is high on kpomo

LaRoyalHighness:
So the tradition is that one builds a ten room apartment before they bury his father.

Or else the mother or wife is stoned to death. Right?

I don't really care .... But I repeat no one... As in no one has the right to stone anyone. That is an assault.

Yes! next time 2baba or any member of his family decides to go to that cave of a village... He should get soldiers, sss or something.

Afterall even my local government counsellor won't enter village without his mopol etc. So what's the biggie?

Quit twisting my words to suit you... building a10-room apartment is a tradition? where did i infer that from any of my comments?, however it could be seen as a moral obligation if the wherewithal is there ceteris paribus. In this case, 2face has the moral obligation to do so.

And who justified stoning anyone??

People travel to their villages with able-bodied men and armed security men only as far as security is concerned....its really no biggie...even if its a million of them However when its time for tradition to takes its place, all that effizy and money-power must take the back sit for customary rites to prevail...it is non-negotiable. Dig that?

Mind you when i talk tradition here, i'm simply talking about traditional burial rites(in this case) that MUST be observed and i dont mean building a house, having SSS or what not. I had to clarify this so you don't misquote me again

fx45:
Well I'm not sure but I know she isn't Yoruba

She's from Edo, i have it on good authority that sen. Andy Uba's wife is her sister (as in relation)

LaRoyalHighness:
What is this one saying?

Which stupid, outdated culture are you talking about?

Which culture permits dirty, unemployed, silly youths to throw stones on a widow?(How many rooms have their parents built sef? How many dem don build?)

Which idiotic culture?

Bros reverse and park here carefully.

Some traditional practices go into oblivion no doubt, but there are certain traditional rites you dare not tamper with.

FYI, i'm not justifying the actions of the unruly villagers, only pointing out to you that as long as village matter is involved, things are not done at will by force-by-force or emotionally like you alluded to when you talked about taking two soldiers. Even if you take 1million soldiers, there are still instances that tradition MUST prevail....and that's a given

Now calm your nerves...you're beginning to sound too emotional

MissMeiya:
What on earth are you talking about? I had to Google Ijebu, and I still don't get you. What are you trying to say?



...I think you might have mistaken me for someone else...

You had to google ijebu?....lol

...lets just agree i took you for someone else then ....lol

MissMeiya:
Ijebu? No...

My boyfriend is from Afikpo, and his kinsmen have been fighting with his mother over his late father's lands for close to a decade. So...

NO?

Now you are trolling right?.....i will not indulge you

LaRoyalHighness:
What nonsense!

Dear Tu-face,
Please stop that work completly. And next time you or mum decides to go to the village, get just two soldiers.


Dear villagers... I dare you all! Try that shit next time. You will all show me how many rooms that you have all built.

Angry fan.

You think its by unnecessary show of money-power? then let the two soldiers go and bury the man naa....plenty yeye dey ooze

Woman, village things are not done like that fyi. This is not by gra-gra. You came from the village the village didn't from you, so when its time for tradition custom must prevail no matter how wealthy or affluent you are.

You just don't go against the tradition of your ancestors You don't want the African spirits to pay you late night visits, do you?

MissMeiya i understand you from ijebu right? its sickening for someone to collect money for rent on a property he/she doesn't own...such a wicked and appalling situation.

No one dares such in any part of igboland...dem neva born am well

melc4real:
2baba no fit complete house for common village? chai,and he pays more than a million for rent in lagos.

#runs to amadioa#

such mentality....very funny

Cant believe what i'm hearing. Please you people should enlighten me here, where do village people collect house rent on someone's house without the owner giving permission I ask because this act is alien to where i came from. Very decent houses are erected on daily basis and there has never been such squabbles.

Well as for tuface, its not by force to build a house and no one can force you to spend your money the way you dont want, but truth be told, it is a thing of shame that you do not have a decent house in your fathers compound o matter your reason. No one is saying you should erect a state of the art edifice NO! but what would it cost you to build even if its a 10-room bungalow which may not even cost up more than 5million? Its even a shame you couldn't do this before your fathers death and its in this same village you run away from that you and your mother will be buried when you finally depart. Personally i see the ebola story as just an excuse.

However since you promised to build the house, the onus is now on you to see it as obligation and complete the house.

interesting...

RockMaxi:
@OP, if not for democracy this would have been a classified information.

Even in democracy, there is still classified information.

Nigeria just sucks at a lot of things

welcome back idumuose....shame to your enemies especially those on NL

Franzeez:
Go and die, foolish muslim fanatic! Idiot and stupid man, what do you know

make no mistake bruv, she is a female

KHAYGOLD:
Hmmmm. Well said... Not giving up on Nigeria.

Me too bruv, i'm for ONE NIGERIA!

KHAYGOLD:
You are right. Selfish desire is the problem of our leaders in power which is the attribute of all human. No person on the planet earth that is not selfish. The person to be considered will have an iota of selfishness no doubt, but should also possess a selfless personality. Electorate should engage and interview the applicants one on one as well as research them on every social media before concluding to vote them. May God help us in this country.

Absolutely! Even thou that's a trait you will hardly find in most our leaders both past and present. I bet you more han enough research are being done already, however thats not enough for a very complex and diversified country like Nigeria where propaganda, blackmail, falsehoods, bigotry, lies, deceit and hypocrisy thrives before every other thing good. Our salvation will not come easy

I say Amen to that.

readonenaire:
it's not myopic on your part that you kept vindicating Mimiko even if Obi isn't admissible. What about scores of other decampees to PDP? why is the democratic 'collision are sentimental, which is my concern initially before one expired entity dragged PDP, APC bla bla bla into it.

Where did i vindicate Mimiko? quote me anywhere in my comment where i mentioned Mimiko

readonenaire:
skipping 'mimiko' to pinpoint Obi permeate your awareness right you people's reasoning is absurd

My friend stop the wanton display of ignorance and myopia.

Was Peter Obi still a governor when he decamped to PDP compared to Mimiko?

mtchhwww....useless hypocrites

readonenaire:
so in your esteemed aged intellectual facade sir, it's only the aforementioned politician that has moved to another party or stole mandate

Whatever happened to mimiko and peter obi, between I only pointed out the folly of the so called 'democratic' dispensation.

I didn't mention tinubu nor do I Buhari, your inextricable obsession with whoever as5 yur licking is amazing sir

This underlines your crass ignorance and misplaced hate

egift:
Yet someone in Abuja has borrowed and squandered $1b with few weeks. If Nigerians keep reelecting some clueless zoologist, Nigerian Jobless Population may start seeking self help.

All the millions of jobs Jonathan and Dr. Ngozi create are in their dreams.

Is it only me or who else thinks this guy is stewpid?

KHAYGOLD:
Compatriot, there is nothing like excessive desire for any goal one wants to achieve. We all know the importance of education in the world. If for example, you write WAEC more than 7 times just to make sure you have a good O-level result so as to further into university level, does it make your desire excessive for education? NO. It's just a choice and what one wants. Abraham Lincoln contested for 6 times and failed, but became the President in his 7th trial. Does it make him a power drunk? NO. Let's just pray God give us the power to vote someone that will have the interest of people at heart and transform Nigeria to a better country.

You have spoken well my brother, i get your point clearly. But you see, comparing Lincoln's or any other Americans' desire for political office to that of a Nigerian like Atiku is almost sacrilegous. I will tell you why..

When a Lincoln aspires for office, you know its because he wants to serve and enrich his people, but when an Atiku exhibits such desire for office, its because he wants to further enrich himself and for selfish gains...the difference is clear.

I will however prefer an Atiku to a buhari a million times over.

fx45:
The late Stella Obasanjo I should think is an Igbo woman

I think late Stella was from edo state, i stand corrected

KHAYGOLD:
Is it wrong to show interest in being a President when you have the right under democracy? Please, instigate a matured and biased-free argument.

Where in my post was that implied?

It is okay to be ambitious or interested in political office but excessive desire for power makes you power-drunk.

Please make sure you understand my point very clearly before misquoting me. You may want to look at my first comment earlier