₦airaland Forum

hmmmm

My people.. There are certain days we go out and God allows us to quickly come back home before our
bowels co-operates with our village people. But there are other days that the devil wants to glorify
his agenda in our lives o. Lol.. Have you ever gone out and had to rush back home fast because of a
runny stomach, diarrhea or any of those things associated with your bowels sha? so i want us to share our
stories of how 'kasala almost burst'. No worry, na me go first share my own. Forget typos, just chill and
enjoy the story... True life story o, with much to learn.

LOCATION: Sabo, Zaria. Kaduna
DATE: May/June, 2012

I had registered NABTEB in one Destiny secondary school back then in sabo area of zaria o. And interestingly, i dont stay around sabo.
i went all the way from samaru, which was about say 15-20 minutes drive sha by public bus. so the option of rushing back home wasn't even
there. Actually, the exams had not even started, but you sabi as all these schools dey behave with external students now, calling you to
come and clear this or that. And as per my guy man MOSES stays around that side, though not that close, i had called him that we should
meet. Him sef just use that opportunity carry gallon to buy kerosene from filling station o. Straight to the story!

As we finished from the school nau, me and my guy start dey gist about life and all these O'level wahala. Naso we reach filling station,
him buy the kero na. Next thing like this, i just starty dey feel one kain funny movement inside my belle. Chisos! Which kain yawa come be this?
i knew i didnt eat anything that spicy or bad to warrant that level of oceanic disturbance from my bowels, so i didnt pay much attention.
as we continue for road na, naso i notice say i don start dey sweat...during rainy season o, chai! nest thing like this, i told my guy,'oboy,
my belle dey turn me o. be like say we go add legg small make i for reach where to take bus sharply na'. Little did i know my village people were
on my matter that day. But the problem with that kind of situation is that, try as you may o, you cant walk too fast because you have to use your two
butt cheeks to hold it in...naso i come dey sweat dey waka like gay. Lol

As guy man see say go no go again, naso i just tell Moses say make him forget that thing say i wan start dey run go where buses dey o. It may sound funny now but walai at that point ehhn, i was almost shedding tears. Thank God say Moses get sense small, naso him come tell me say my house far nau, and even if i enter bus, i have to wait for them to finish carrying passengers before they move... And na sabo we dey, bush no dey close. SEE GBEGE!
Naso we start dey ask fro different shops if we fit to use their toilets o, everybody go carry one kain eye look us come shake their head join..
The one that pained me the most was one useless filling station o, as we got there, we were visibly looking at their toilet, only for met to ask the
attendant and the mugu said 'sorry, we dont have any toilet'..Lobatan, i go shit for market be that, village people have win me niyen o. My guy sha
said lemme try hold it in. At this point, i wanted to just scream and say "Guy i'm sorry but here it comes o", but i form man small dey look like
cow in suit and trousers.

As we moved forward a little, naso we jam one old aboki repairing bicycles, we come beg the man o, thank God i can speak hausa fluently too.
Like film, this old man stand up carru us go back show me one small room say make i enter. I didnt even wait to hear the rest before shifting
the mat he used as curtain. Pit toilet, who cares? No water, Who cares?! Naso i squat o. Pruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.. Praaaaaaaaaa. Pu! Pa! Na my guy
come later bring water as i still dey there. That day i stopped being religioudly bias, and i come like Moses join. Dude has offended me like a billion
times, but anyday i remember that day ehn, i'd just laugh and say "No! This offense is too small to come between us"

Lol, share your own "Near death experience"

Mods, e suppose make fp sha.