So after a week or more of not using the toilet, my butt couldn't take the hassle anymore. I decided that this was it, go now or never.

I strode to the toilet, opened the door and behold, I was staring at the cleanest pit latrine ever!

It was as white as snow and everywhere was looking cleaner than I had thought.

With the way my butt was clamoring, I knew there was no time to waste.

It was time for serious business.

.

.

Blind Date
Cont.

I took my order and he did as well, we spoke for a while and I couldn't believe it was the same Uzor I knew.

What changed I thought to myself, he sure seemed like a total gentleman and I was definitely enjoying the moment that I totally forgot about the annoying date that stood me up till I got a call.

I looked at the caller ID and it read 'Stacy'. I knew I couldn't answer the call right there so I excused myself as I went out to talk to her.

"Hi Stacy", I said.. Where have you been, been trying to reach you

"Yeah I know, I just saw your missed call, that's why I called back. So sorry. So jist me, how's the date?"

"What date? Your date never showed up, he stood me up, that's why I was calling to ask you what happened."

"What? You mean Uzor didn't come?"

"What?" I was lost for a second as I looked into the restaurant.. "You mean... Uzor was the date!?"

"Yes he was, I'm sorry, I should have said something but he made me promise not to."

"Oh, its nothing, never mind. I'll talk to you later." I cut the call as I proceeded to go into the restaurant to give Uzor a tongue lash.

Right then, I saw a man strolling out of the restaurant with a lady held tight to his arm, the face looked familiar, then I remembered, she was the same lady that held on to Uzor as they walked into the restaurant.

So she really wasn't his date, why then did he have to... I stopped short as I remembered all that transpired earlier on.

So, I was the one he needed advice for, he made me wait for 2 hours only to waltz in with a girl to get me jealous.. Oh well, he succeeded. I definitely wouldn't have given him a chance.

So I walked into the restaurant, sat down and sipped on my drink as I smiled at him and thought....

Just for tonight, I'll enjoy myself and go along with the pretence....

It was a blind date so I really didn't have any expectations.

Are you kidding me I had lots!!!

Was he tall? Did he have a charming voice? Was he muscular? Did his eyes shine bright like a diamond?

I had all these questions and more rolling through my head that I barely noticed Uzor standing right in front of me.

"Hmnn, day dreamer, what's it about this time?" He teased

"About you na, what else?" I said.

He smiled "You can't stand me dear"

"What do you mean?" I quipped.

"Never mind, where are you off to, that's before your mind took you away"

"I don't blame you, why do you want to know, besides its none of your business"

"Hmnn, someone's taking it P"

"Whatever, I'm out" I started to leave..

"Hold on a sec Jane"

"What?" I asked

"Its nothing really, I just wanted to know, I have a date coming up soon and I need your advice.."

"Hahaaa!" I laughed. "My advice? Since when do you go out on dates and who is the sister that took you serious to ever agree on a date with you."

"It will amaze you that lots of sisters find me irresistible," he smirked, "you only need to taste and see dear"

"Shior, I feel sorry for all dem sisters then, cos it may be too late before they find out the taste is sour."

"Is that what you really think of me?"

"Since when do you care what I think of you?"

"I just want to know... If that's how you feel or.."

"Or what?"

"You know what, never mind. Don't let me hold you any longer, I'm sure where you are off to is more important."

"Oh well, for once you are right. It sure is a lot more important than standing here answering all your silly questions. And if I may add, save yourself and the sister the stress..."
........................

I arrived at the venue for the date, found a sit close to the window as I watched on waiting for my date.

20 mins, 30 mins passed still no date. I decided to order a drink as I passed the time looking outside the window at passersby thinking which of them might be him.

40mins, 1hour.. I decided to call Stacy and ask her why the date wasn't forthcoming, since she was the one who had set me up on the blind date.

So I dialled her number on and on but she wasn't picking.

10 more minutes I thought and I'm outta here, 10mins turned to 20 and then 30 and I ended up spending 2 hours at the restaurant before I decided it was time to get going.

As I stood up to leave, I met face to face with Uzor, he looked rather stunning, dressed in a suit and dinner tie accompanied by a dashing lady hanging on to him like her life depended on it.

I was too ashamed to even say hi so I made to leave but he stepped forward to meet me leaving behind his date.

"Hi Jane."

"Hi," I said feeling flushed "what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, since we are both here...."

"I have a date and you know it.."

"Well I have one too as you are well aware.."

"Good for you, bye.." I started to leave but he stopped me.

"Wait Jane, why are you leaving so early, aren't you suppose to be with your date?"

At this point I was feeling suffocated..

"Yes, and he's left" I lied.

"Left without you?"

"He had an emergency so he had to go." Wow two lies in a row, I have a lot of confessing to do

"Oh, well the night is young why don't we grab a drink.."

"Yeah right and leave Cinderella hanging without her man.."

"You mean her?" He pointed at the direction of the lady he walked in with

"Yeaaa, who else?"

"Oh no, don't get it all twisted, she isn't my date."

"Oh really, so she just happened to fall on your hand and walk in through the door with you?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Jealous of who? Oh please.. Don't flatter yourself.."

"So, we could stand and argue all day or just get a sit and enjoy the evening, what do you say?"

I looked around trying to see where the lady he walked in with was, but I couldn't see any trace of her so without thinking much I took a sit.

"What would you like to order" he asked before I had the chance to say another word.

I went more than a week without using the toilet, I mean no 2. The fact that my stomach could hold up for that long was mind blowing.

So my land Lord where I served, decided that a pit latrine was the best option for his tenants. The man stopped us from using the water closet and erected a pit latrine for us.

Its not like I haven't ever used a pit latrine. I mean I remember when I was younger, we were in church that day and I felt like my anus would give way.

I immediately rushed to look for the toilet, on getting there, I found out it was a pit latrine. You'd think I cared right.

Naa!

I jumped on the thing like I was about to ride a bicycle, as I found the right angle to position my butt and off I went.

It was a serious purging. In fact, the way the pit latrine swallowed up my excrement, a water closet wouldn't have come close.

There was no sound, no water thumping up to my butt, and no need to flush. Now what more could I ask for.

But this time was different, I was grown and more so, where I was serving was a village where snakes were not to be killed.

I had heard a story of one that entered our compound, instead of killing it, they gently picked it up and kept it on the outside.

Now who wants to shit in that kind of pit latrine where any body can be your visitor.

Noo, no way!

I was so disgusted by this that I didn't want to even think of using it. Somehow, my brain sent the message to my stomach and my stomach cooperated with my butt and for more than a week, I didn't perform no. 2.

Now isn't that the best network ever!

Sorry it took this long to finish, been off for a while. Hope you enjoy it.

SUPERNATURAL (2)

All throughout the day I couldn't concentrate, I tried to find something to keep busy with at home but my mind kept on going back to my dream, the plane crash, Monty..

I all but kept back from scrolling through TV stations looking for news of any plane crash. I was so worked up I didn't realise when I dozed off.

I woke up from the couch as I stared at the TV screen and right there to my utter dismay was the breaking news.

A Swell View airplane had just crashed!

My heart was beating very fast as I stared on at the screen, I wasn't sure if it was the same plane Monty had boarded but I knew it was the same airline.

I picked up my phone and made a call through to Monty's mum but she wasn't picking up.

I went in to change in order to go to Monty's house, as I came out of my room I heard a knock on the door. I immediately went to find out who it was. On opening the door, my heart froze.

"Monty!!!" I screamed as I proceeded to hug her tight. "I thought you were.." I couldn't finish my sentence..

"Dead" She said as I released her.

"I saw the news of the plane crash.."

"I missed my flight, I remembered I forgot one of the documents I needed for the trip. Anita, can you imagine what would have happened if I had been on that plane?"

"I don't even want to imagine it." I said as I hugged her again.

"You were right Anita, your dream, the one you said you had, and I didn't listen to you." She said as she cried.

"Please don't cry Monty, we should be grateful you are alive, that's what matters."

"And here I was thinking you were jealous of me, I'm so sorry Anita, please forgive me."

"Monty, forget it, I'm not angry at you. I understand. What is important is that you are alive. What about your mum, does she know you are here?"

"No, not yet."

"Then we should go home, she must be worried" I said as I tried to locate her bags.

"Where are your bags?"

"Oh, I left them off somewhere, will go get them later."

"Oh, OK" I said. I wanted to ask her where she left them but I was too excited to see she was alive that I didn't bother.

We arrived at her place and to my surprise the door was wide open. I saw a few people gathered outside. As I stepped into the house, I saw even more people seated and some standing.

Then I saw Monty's mum on the floor crying.

"What is going on here?" I asked the woman standing beside me.

"You never hear?"

"Hear what?"

"Monty don die."

"What?!" I looked at her stupefied "Monty is not dead!"

I didn't know I had said it quite loud as it got the attention of Monty's mum.

She got up from the floor and came to meet me.

"What did you say?" She asked

"Monty is not dead, in fact we came here together." I said confidently.

"Where is she, where is my Monty?"

"She is here.." I said as I looked back.

Monty was no where around.

"Where is she?" I heard Monty's mum ask again.

"She..she was with me..." I stuttered. "She must be out front.." I said as I ran out to the gate. I looked out for the cab we came with but I couldn't find it, I searched around but still nothing. There was no sign of Monty.

I struggled to believe I had just been with a ghost. I looked over at Monty's mum feeling stupid and helpless.

Now I see why she didn't have any luggage..

How could this be, ghosts aren't suppose to be real. I must be dreaming, this can't be I thought as I screamed..

.....

I got up with a jolt, my body quavering, my mouth shaking and my head on fire. It had all been a dream but it felt so real, all of it!

I was grateful for life, I couldn't imagine experiencing such a nightmare.

As I turned to get out of bed, my phone rang. I picked up the call as I heard the excitement of the caller at the other end.

"Anita, its me Monty, guess what?"

"What?" I asked not so excited

"My company just granted me an all expense paid trip to carry out a training in Spain, can you believe it! My dreams have come true Anita."

I was awestruck as I fell silent

This nightmare just began!

SUPERNATURAL

I woke up from sleep panting and soaked in sweat. I had just had the most terrifying dream ever.

I hardly dream and when I do I almost never remember them at all, but this dream was vivid.

What was I going to do, how was I to tell my friend I had dreamt of her dying in a plane crash. No, it was just a dream. There was no way I was going to tell her that.

Monty was slated to travel to Spain the next day on an official duty, she had never travelled out of the country so this was going to be her first and she had prayed and worked her butt just to get this opportunity, there was no way I was going to ruin it by telling her about my dream.

After work, I went over to her place to help her pack, convincing myself that there was no use telling her, it was just a dream after all.

I greeted her mom as I went into her room where she was surrounded by heaps of clothes on her bed, on the floor, in fact her room was a total mess.

"Monty are you planning on going to live there forever? No be just one week?" I asked her

"Babe, no be everyday person dey travel comot for this country, if I fit live there self I no go mind."

"I no blame you, see your mouth like chewing stick." I said as I tried to crack her up but I was feeling nervous.

"Monty.."

"Yea babe."

"Do you believe in dreams?"

"I don't know, why do you ask?"

"Nothing, I just had this dream that a friend of mine was involved in an accident and I don't know whether to tell or not."

"All these dreams, I don't take them serious."

"Abi, let me help you with that." I said as I put the dream behind me. It was just a dream, nothing to take serious!

As soon as I got home I took a shower, ate and jumped on my bed, I slept off as I was just too tired.

It was dark when I woke up, I was panting and soaked in sweat just like yesterday, I had had the same dream about Monty.

Not again I thought. I usually don't dream how is it that I had the same dream two nights in a row and I remembered them clearly. I became scared to even get up from bed.

I knew I had to do something about this dream else I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to Monty.

Monty was slated to travel later in the evening. It was a weekend so I took the opportunity to meet with a friend whom I believed could help me.

I had met her in school, she had always said when she dreamt they usually come true so I had to tell her about mine.

I relayed the dream to her and told her they had occurred twice in a row, then she looked at me and said;

"If you love your friend, better tell her what you dreamt of, its better to be safe than sorry."

"But what if she doesn't believe me?" I asked worried

"At least you have done your part, its up to her."

I thought of what she said, this wasn't going to be an easy deal, Monty may think I don't want her to travel and see me as one bad belle.

I decided to take the risk, better safe than sorry like she said.

I immediately took off to Monty's place. She was packed and ready to leave for the airport. I helped her carry one of her bags as we headed for the car.

The driver drove her, her mom and I to the airport. Once she had secured her luggage at the check point, I pulled her aside and told her about the dream.

"Monty, I know this may sound weird but please don't take it the wrong way."

"What is it, hope there's no problem?" She asked

"No, noo. Monty, remember the dream I told you of, the one about a friend in an accident?"

"Yea, what about it?"

"Monty, it was you, I dreamt you were involved in a plane crash"

"God forbid." She said "Anita, don't tell me you take all these dreams serious."

"Monty, I had the same dream twice, at first I didn't see anything in it but after the second one I knew I couldn't keep it to myself."

"So what are you saying now, I should not travel?" She laughed "Babe, I will be fine, don't bother yourself, nothing is going to happen to me."

I hugged her tight before I watched her leave praying it wasn't our last...