adeabi: A thought crossed my mind
recently while I was chilling
out and listening to music. I
was wondering what the
world would be like if all
people were virgins and were programmed to have sex once
they found their ‘perfect’
partner and married them.
Imagine that: a world were
people weren’t so controlled
by their hormones, where their manhood or
womanhood wasn’t defined
at all by the amount of sex
they have and a world where
countless hearts would be
spared from breakage because people would not be cheating
so hectically on each other. I think that sex doesn’t have
to be the be-all and the end-all
of relationships, but because
people have become so
accustomed to sex defining
how good or bad a relationship is, it has become a
norm in any relationship, and
if you do decide to keep your
legs closed and not engage in
sex, first of all, people think
you’re lying about your virginity then they look at you as if you’re crazy for not
having sex. But the worse is
when you can’t get into a
relationship because you
know that sex will always be
a pressure, and if its not you giving it to your partner,
some one else will. But do not despair, because I
think there are some very
good benefits of being a virgin, and because of these benefits, I think virgins are the sanest people on earth.
I’ve had a few incidences
where my friends would give
it up to their boyfriends, only
to have their lovers dump
them after a couple of weeks, and if they’re lucky, after a
couple of months. My
'girlfriends' felt so used after
such break-ups because they
felt like they gave their all,
only to have it trampled and thrown back at their faces. So
being a virgin, you don’t
really feel like absolute crap
when Mr Lover leaves you
because you know that you
did not give away a very deep part of yourself.
Although you do feel sad at
the break- up, it’s generally
easier to get over because you
never connected with the guy
sexually. As a virgin, your ability to
rock someone’s world doesn’t
come from how you perform
in bed, so you don’t go
through the stress of being
compared to other people, and you don’t compare different
lovers as well. As a girl, you
don’t feel like death because
your man slept with another
girl, and in your head you’re
thinking that you were never women enough or interesting
enough to keep your man,
and as a guy, you don’t have
nightmares of you being a
weak man who can’t satisfy
his woman. No one needs that kind of stress that just eats at
your self-esteem. Most relationships have the
tendency of falling apart after
people engage in sex. I guess
the main reason would be
that there’s nothing left of the
relationship after a sexual encounter; all that could be
done has been done, so now
all you hear are crickets
making noise in the
background of your
relationship. Not including sex in a relationship gives you the
opportunity to build
something sustainable that’s
not tainted with the ‘before-
and-after’ admin of having
sex. And there are the obvious
benefits, such as no STD’s and pregnancy scares, but more especially for girls because They
are emotional, I think the
emotional benefits of not
giving it up are the most
significant. Being a virgin in this day and
age is quite difficult because
you are literally swimming
against the current of the
modern times, but it’s a choice
at the end of the day. Virginity also tends to scare
off a lot of people that would
want to be in a relationship
with you, but also in the end,
it usually turns out to be a
blessing because it eliminates crappy people out of your life.