₦airaland Forum

Everyone is different. Every family will do things their way. I choose to confront the pervert the following day before I left for work. I have no regret on earth for doing so. If I didn't meet him outside, I would have gone to knock on his front door and had that chat whether his wife was home or not! That is me. If anyone feels its too forward then that's their opinion. I respect your opinion but don't agree with it.

My husband chose to speak with the pervert's wife, agent and landlord. That is him. That was his way.

At the start of my story, I said I wasn't looking for advise, pity, people to side with me or urge me on. I am merely telling my story. It is a lesson for everyone especially women. The madness in some people does not necessarily cease just because you are married with kids or not.

That responsible looking family man may not be so responsible after all. Be security conscious, be very prayerful. And If you live on the ground floor be especially careful with your curtains and windows. They are mad people on suit and tie.

NifemiOlu:
I'm familiar with your story. You supplied so much details. This happened like 3 weeks ago, right?
When your husband called the agent to narrate the story, I was with him. The agent confronted the guy. He felt very sad and remorseful. He apologized profusely. He doesn't like what he's doing but he can't help it.
That being said, your husband seems like a cool guy. He took the incident lightly. That moment he spotted him, he should treated the case man to man. Being a gentle man, he approached the man, he got hugged by his kids, your husband felt weak as he didn't want to hurt the kids' feelings. I get it. But your husband should have attended to the case right on the spot. I mean he should have gone physical.
The woman was right to defend her husband. That's what marriage is about. You defend your partner even if they're wrong.

Mr Man, I'm not sure what you are on about. Are you for evil or against it?

The man cannot help himself so does that justify his action? Do I just start opening my 32 with such an individual because he apologized? Of course I must be weary of him. I never ever ever want anything to do with such a fellow.

As for the wife, she is very very free to defend her husband. As a matter of fact, my write up shows I didn't expect her to bad mouth her husband in public but when you begin to lie, I have an issue with that.

When a woman, a mother begins to tell sordid lies while trying to insinuate my husband was hitting on her then I have a big issue with that. Defend your husband as much as you want but don't start making up stories of someone approaching you and asking for your number while you were putting on a transparent cloth!

Like who says stuff like that? My husband doesn't even have your bloody telephone number. Why make up lies so you can equally have a disgraceful story like what your pervert husband did? My husband was acting funny around you and you have been smiling with us and greeting us cheerfully? You even came to invite us to your church singing program the week before? Who does that?

That lady said heavy stuff on that day. That is a woman whose kid n I will be chatting like no tomorrow! Her kids will see me and run up to me for a hug? Her kids were the major reason my husband never took it up with her husband. This is a family we never had issues with until the peeping tom incident.

Listen, I don't know if that lady is your friend but tell her she has set her husband 100 steps back. She wiped away her husband's apology with her lies and attitude. Let her ask God for forgiveness for those things she said because I and my husband have committed all those things she said before our maker.

She cannot have peace for those things she said against my husband until she confess to God and amend her ways. I don't expect them to ever apologize but that is their cross not mine. We are very gentle people and my husband had the utmost respect for her and her home. We are a christian home but we are not fools.

While she was denying stuff and making up stories against my husband, I went on my knees before God and said certain things in prayer with a heavy heart. If I am making stories about her home, let God handle me as he wills but if its her then...

M done on this issue...

worry359:
If the pervert is watching you today he will be raping someone tomorrow.
Get the women of your compound together and take charge of this criminal.
I would make sure that when finished he had no equipment for raping women and children.

I would have done this but like my post stated, the other flats in the compound are currently unoccupied. We live alone with the pervert and his family in the compound for now. I certainly will not hesitate to inform other families when they move in especially those that will be on the ground floor.

Lushka:
From the tone of your write-up, you are a trouble maker. Why stretch the incident to that extent?

I am a troublemaker abi? LOL. Issorat.

So many people don't know their right in this part of the world. Do you think confronting a peeping tom is being a trouble maker? Do you think exposing that mask makes me a troublemaker? Do you think my husband informing the landlord for my safety is being petty? Oh well, that's your opinion.

Do you understand how serious that act is?

Please go and read up on people who peep at women while they sleep. Go and read what they later graduate into doing. It is well...

delishpot:
OP stop opening your curtain when sleeping nude. I do not advice women to do that. Yes today your hubby was home but someone who sees you nude while hubby was home could wait for hubby to travel and then do the unthinkable to you.

Tnx for ur comment but pls go back and read again. I didn't state anywhere in my write up that I was naked. I wrote I pulled my rapper closer but that does not translate that I was sleeping nude. You are very correct with your advise though; women should not sleep naked especially if you live on the ground floor. I am also very careful with my curtains since the incident. I am more security conscious. This incident left me shaken...

Please note this is a secure compound within a seemingly secure estate. Sometimes the devil resides within...

Immediately I felt sad and so many thoughts began to run through my mind. Like how long has this been going on? Why us? Why didn’t I notice? Why did I leave my curtain up that night? Why did i ever leave it up? Why do we even have power issues in Nigeria? Why didn't I buy a proper gen that will run from morning to night? Why, why, why...

My husband sleeps by the wall while I sleep at the outer end of the bed. Now if you are about 2 to 3 steps away from my window, you will not see the person sleeping by the wall but you can clearly see the person sleeping by the outer end.

Unfortunately for my pervert neighbour, he didn’t realize my husband was right there with me on that night. He was shining a light through our bedroom and staring at me when my husband woke up and suddenly sat up. Immediately, this neighbour lowered his torch but as he did, my husband CLEARLY saw his face! Infact their eyes jammed at this point. If this neighbour had continued pointing the light into the room, my husband might not have been able to tell who it was but the moment he lowered it, his identity was revealed. I felt bad because my husband travels away for work regularly and in my heart, I believe this was not the first time this neighbour was peeping at me. I looked at my phone and the time was 5:45am.

The following morning, I decided to confront this man before i went to work. I knew if I left it, time will create room for lies. I needed to address the issue as e dey hot! As I opened my door, I saw him walking past and I called his attention. I basically confronted him by asking what he was doing by my window at around past 5. He said it was a cat he saw (a neighbour has a cat that moves around) and he was chasing the cat!

At this point, I let him know the game was up and he apologised profusely. I tongue lashed him thoroughly thereafter I went to work. So many things happened in-between with my husband speaking with the man’s wife, the agent and even the land lady getting involved. The agent called the pervert to warn him and the yeye fellow apologised and was explaining rubbish.

I think for me the issue here was from the moment his wife heard what happened. At first she was calm and just nodded her head. Thereafter it took a dramatic turn as we tried to sort out the issue in the compound. On that day, the agent was around and was trying to broker peace between our family and theirs. I wasn’t there and the pervert was absent as well.

The wife claimed we were lying and her husband was innocent. She basically said my husband didn’t see her husband that night abi morning. She also said I didn’t confront her husband the following day, her husband didn’t apologise to the agent for his indiscretion. She claimed we were all lying against her husband.

Now I understand why a woman would say this but I wished she stopped there. Unfortunately, she didn’t. she went on to say so many other things which i wont bore you with. Needless to say there were all lies. She brought up sordid stories on the spot to match the disgraceful thing her husband did. We all laughed including the agent because we knew she was making those things up. She was only trying to play tit for tat.

Now this is the irony, her husband apologised but the wife in a bid to cover his shame claims it is a lie. So did I force your husband to apologise for something he knows nothing about? I don’t know if her husband is lying to her but somewhere in my heart, I know she knows the truth. I know they both know the truth. They can deny as much as they want but in their room, they will ever have the truth stare at them. I have decided to leave this case with God and God alone.

I find it sad that it is a woman who is doing this and practically killing her husband without realizing it. Tomorrow if this same man strays or does something worse, who can you cry to? Can you dare call such a man to order then? She has virtually given him free pass all in a bid to protect him. It’s like a mother who rewards her naughty child for throwing tantrums. Who is she doing? Who will the child turn on tomorrow?

I am telling this story so we women can be very careful. This was a seemingly nice woman who became a monster to side with evil. I am not saying slaughter your husband with your mouth outside but it is better to keep quiet than tell lies while trying to protect a dog! Wisdom does not necessarily come with age or marital status. If it did, this our neighbour would have passed the test. May God help us all.

I want to share my experience; it may be a bit long but just bear with me. My aim of writing this story is not to get sympathy or advise but for us to learn especially women.

I live in a compound after Ajah. The compound consists of a 3-bedroom apartment which is unoccupied and two 2bedroom apartment by the side. I live in the 2-bedroom apartment along with my husband. The 2nd 2bedroom flat is occupied by our neighbour, a young couple with their 2 small children. Our neighbour seemed friendly at first and we got along. Everyone pretty much kept to themselves but we had a very cordial relationship and never ever had an altercation until earlier this month.

It all began one night. That day, I heard my bedroom door open and my husband walked out. It was a bit odd because I’m usually the first to get up. I thought he went out to pray so I continued sleeping. Some minutes later, he returned and woke me up. He told me there was someone by the window a while ago shinning a light into our bedroom. Immediately, I shot up like a bullet and pulled my wrapper closer to my chest.

Like most Nigerians, especially those who live after Ajah, you can testify that the light situation has been badddddddddddddd! It is only now we have gotten some form of respite. Now because of this no light issue, I sleep with my curtain raised up. We live on the ground floor but there is a protector and mosquito net. Most times I usually put my curtain down when my husband is away on a trip but when he is with me, I'm bold enough to leave the curtain up.

Anyway, I asked my husband what he saw and by this point, sleep vanish from our eye. He explained that he saw the intruder and it was our neighbour! Our neighbour? I couldn’t believe it. A family man, seemingly happily guy with 2 young children? I just weak.