₦airaland Forum

Nihilist:
A

It still doesn't make sense.
At the start of this episode, your post history only comprised of 17 posts, none of them in direct conversation with Coogar.

So you mean you sent him a PM notification, he received it, commited to speak to someone he didn't know before, and then decided to meet up twice with that person? And not only that, give you money?


That's implausible knowing the communication trends on this website. I find it very difficult to believe that you guys were meeting up offline but have never interacted online on this forum.

As at the start of this issue, there wasn't even a single mutual quote... Yet you've risen up to defend one of the loudest posters on this website on a day that he is keeping suspiciously quiet

Your story is fishy...

You are not making sense. If my previous comments were littered with direct conversations with him, your thought would then channel towards "It is one of his girlies speaking up for him." I do not post much, I only do topics most of the time.

What you decide to believe is your funeral. I have spoken nothing but the truth. I PM'd him, we exchanged emails and whatsapp chats and we ended up meeting at his office. Plausible or implausible is your cup of tea.

Nihilist:
You still didn't answer the question of how you were first able to PM Coogar to ask for money since last night

I think it is well known that you don't need to follow anyone to PM them. If I want to be dishonest, I would say I used to follow him and then stopped following him.

Go to my profile, send me a message, I will get a mail that Nihilist wants to have a word with me. If I accept the request, we can start communicating.

Capice?

olu4life:
Please don't even say anything again since she's now dumb and blind. Let her go and nurse her old wound and stop crying over spilt milk.
Or u better come and rreply whether u loan or not. Rubbish

I am just disturbed that people can go this length to put a smear campaign on another. Boy spent N8,000, girl spent N4,000. Girl wants to collect her N4,000 back but she cannot remember eating N8,000.

Have a good day, Sir.

ifyalways:
This is one of the things I hate about NLD e-gangs.
So you and some other people on NLD have seen Babe's nudes, heard stories about her from Coogar yet no one deemed it fit to inform her before now rather it was a close knited in house gossip topic?
I kuku dey always dey my lane, no familiarity to avoid long stories.

Mschewwww

There were no nudes.
Nobody saw any nudes. He has totally denied the nudes angle. It's one of the ploys of his detractors to make him look bad.

Dyt:
Hehehe
If I am going visit my lover
Am.I supposed pay for my flight tickets?

Migbori

She promised to pay back in instalments before the tickets were issued.

wonlasewonimi:
Why would coogar send you this message? The coogar we know defends himself

He does not wash dirty linen in public. Ask your client whether she took awoof business class flights to LDN. If she did, who paid for the luxury?

Mindfulness:
I asked this question before I discovered that the allegation being made is that he blackmailed her into sending money to him.

If you decide to give your boy-/girlfriend money voluntarily, don't call it a spam when the relationship goes sour BUT if your (ex-)partner blackmails you into giving him / her money then it is a different case and it is punishable by law.

The allegation being made is that Coogar owes her money and he is using threats to stop her from claiming her money.

coogar: as much as i appreciate you standing for me last night, i really don't want you to say much about what is in the past. when i give, i do it without looking back or seeking to chest-beat about it. once it's done it is done. don't let these goats push you to reveal what you need not.

the tactics is to throw some chaff & hope someone would bite it and open up private details. if and when they are ready, they will bring the 4 old women i scammed/screwed and then we can take it from there.

Noted!
Thanks for taking your time to tell me the full story from head to toe. I can now see where all these came from.

Mindfulness:
BABE3, I would like to ask you a question if you don't mind.
Why were you sending him money? And is giving money to someone you are with or a family member not a gift that you give out voluntarily?

Very good question. I have been communicating with the accused in the past 2 hours. While it is true that BABE3 sent some money to coogar it was coogar's money that she was sending to him bit by bit from the money she borrowed from him.

Coogar has refused to come here and wash dirty linen in public but he told me this much that he lent BABE3 close to $8,000 to buy business flight tickets from ATL to LDN on 3 different occasions. He did not give it out at once but we should ask BABE3 whether it is true she flew airlines with Coogar's money and whether she promised to pay him back in instalments.

There's more to this than it meets the eye. It's a case of if he spends money, it's a gift for her. If she spends money it's a loan that he must pay back. Coogar is adamant there is no scam involved. He only took back what she loaned from him concerning her 3 different visits to the UK. If this is a lie, BABE3 should tell us how she paid for her trips to the UK.

Ibime:
We just trying to get the story right sweetie. No beef but this gossip too sweet. We are just trying to get the tea on our long time friend Sauron aka Jackal aka Hannibal aka Coogar.

You can get the story if you stop trying to muddle it up. I registered in 2013.

Goodnight.

raumdeuter:
Details of how you guys met

What are his initials. Something more concrete

Ask him when he logs in later.

wonlasewonimi:
Babe3 would be able to shed more light later. Sebi na car park in Birmingham you collected your fees for damage control.

The above is your funeral. I just wanted to clarify what I know. Knock yourself out if you think this is damage control. I am not in the position of dragging issues with faceless beings on the internet.

Ibime:
Early last year and you joined NL in July last year.

From London to Birmingham to Manchester, where does he reside?

He told me few months back that he lives in Fulham, today he is saying he doesnt live in London. Wonsalewonmi is saying he lives in Manchester, now you are telling me he works in Birmingham.

Make all of una yarn correct ting make I hear abeg.

Don't take me for a fool. I joined Nairaland in December 2013. It's on my profile. I don't know what you people have against him. All I can say is there's no truth in the smear campaign .

Nihilist:
What does Coogar do for a living?

He has told me personally that he lives in Fulham(London) and that he is a Vet.

Quite a commute from London to Brum don't you think?

Please explain more...

His office is a blue chip company. We met there two times. I cannot disclose a lot because he likes to do his things privately. I am forever grateful to him for his assistance. He was in Birmingham all through the time we met. I don't know if he stayed in London or not.

Lord of mercy.
People can lie. Unless there are 2 Coogars existing or someone is playing a game the things I am seeing is a big lie. I should not be saying this but I have asked for Coogar for some financial assistance early last year. He gave me more money than I asked for and we met in his office around Birmingham.

Coogar? A scammer? Such a big lie. If it wasn't for his assistance I should have been kicked out of school. All the people smearing his name because they have a score to settle with him are jokers. What is the evidence of the scam?

It was intended to be a simple PM on my BBM but the number of furious replies I got indicated that I had to expand my reach. The said PM was – “Naija men with come to my house, come to my house.” Is there seriously no young man who can advise his fellow men on dating etiquettes? Help us plssssss”

I sincerely felt that I was alone in this predicament till I started getting pings from people who were even more angry about it than I was. And then I realized that this is a general epidemic.

Now, I had different responses from people and I will attempt to put those responses into consideration and not be too streamlined with my views.

Most of the males who responded to my PM agreed with the fact that their brothers are not representing the male folks as well as they should in this area but one of the men made a case for our culture being the reason for this predicament.

According to him, Nigerians do not see the home as a private place and can invite just about anyone into their home. He also talked about the mentality that has been deeply ingrained in us – some men just don’t think that going on dates is necessary, or rather, “we can meet up at my house, there’s no need to go through all that white culture ish” (paraphrased)

As much as I understand where he was coming from and I agree with him that the Nigerian mentality has a lot to bear with this situation. I also think that there are two reasons why the “come to my house issue” is so rampant today.

(1) Some men just don’t think that it’s necessary to go through all that stress in wooing a lady anymore.

A friend of mine actually said that chivalry is dead in response to my PM but I am a positive person, so I refuse to believe that there is no single man on this earth who knows how to take a woman on a date and win her heart slowly – no, there must surely be such men left on earth. (yes, I am rooting for the male folks)

Some Nigerian men just believe that all that “taking a woman to a lovely restaurant and stuff” is for “oyibo people“. I mean, you will be surprised at the number of educated men who would invite you to their house at first meeting.

The man who inspired my PM is a lecturer. Another man who contributed to my cry for help studied law as a first degree. He is involved in media and publicity for a while, and is a called pastor… so you can go figure out the thing about education being a way to raise up people with a modern outlook on things.

(2) 80 % of the men who invite ladies to come to their house at first meeting have no good intentions at heart.

Now, I have to be very careful with how I say this, because I understand like my male friend stated above: that for some men, inviting a lady to their house at first meeting just doesn’t mean anything to them.

They weren’t raised with the mentality that the home is a private place. So even if they just met a lady they are interested in, they can hang out at their house as a first date – with no ulterior motive involved on their part. So yes, I agree that those kind of men exist.

We don’t need to go deep down into stories do we? Or maybe we do. Listen carefully and you will hear stories from the lady who has true stories to tell on how she had to fend off SERIOUS sexual advances just because she believed a man who said he had no ulterior motive for inviting her to his house.

Some of our female friends won’t open up to us but some ladies have been raped because of the “come to my house syndrome”. They cower in shame and guilt, berating their selves that they should have known better than to go to his house. And the society doesn’t make it easy on them too.

Most people would say things like – “Why did you go to his house? That’s a sign that you wanted the sexual act to happen” So the victims keep quiet and bottle up the hurt and shame inside.

What about the guy that tells you to just come into his house while he dresses up so you both can go out and then, under the guise of that excuse starts drawing close for a kiss?

So the “come to my house syndrome” is a serious one. Aside from the serious underlying issues of ladies who have had sad stories of sexual assault and rape to tell, it also begs for a total overhauling of the way some Nigerian men view wooing a lady – an overhauling of faulty dating mentalities.

If the woman was to be a street lady, we might pardon you, but no, you see a decent lady with her worth shining through and you just don’t want to put in an effort into treating her like the jewel that she is.

What would it take for you to take the natural order of the way things should be in cultivating a relationship with her?
Would a time out at a restaurant be too much to ask? It doesn’t even have to be a classy restaurant – just a neutral place where you both can talk that’s not your house.

So I plead again, don’t we have young mighty men of valor who can advise their fellow men on dating etiquettes? Men who can organize classes and teach their fellow men these things – if it comes to that.

Or maybe I should be pleading with our churches too. Almost every church organizes programmes for ladies on how to be virtuous women, how to behave themselves while on a date, etc. Can’t such programmes be held for men too? Women aren’t the only ones who need to be groomed, men need to be groomed too.

So gentlemen, I sincerely still believe that there are a lot of you who are getting it right in the area of what I just talked about.
Please teach your fellow men about these things, we will be absolutely grateful to you all.

Signed,
The community of ladies who are tired of the “come to my house syndrome”

SOURCE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zM53k8_AKrg

-Ishilove
-Lalasticlala

A woman[Olabomi Ojuade] wants other single moms to learn from her mistake has granted a video interview yesterday addressing the viral nakëd photos.

Here’s the gist, a certain [Peter Ifedayo] who is fond of dating rich women in Dublin met Olabomi and they started dating. Shortly after they started, Peter started asking her for money, and when she couldn’t meet his demands anymore, she asked him to let them quit, then Peter got angry and started blackmailing her.

He went ahead and posted her nakëd photos on his whatsapp page when he realized she was no longer down with his game and that’s how his friends started circulating it.

Now Olabomi wants single moms to always investigate a man they want to date and be careful of introducing him to their kids as a father figure. We are glad she is gradually over coming this. It is not easy, another woman might have committed suicide. The Lord is her strength.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0SlJFqcews

Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship. As well as abstaining from sexual thoughts, sexual touching, pornography, and actions that are known to lead to sexual arousal."

At the age of 10, I took a pledge at my church alongside a group of other girls to remain a virgin until marriage. Yes, you read that right -- I was 10 years old.

Let's take a look at who I was as a 10-year-old: I was in fourth grade. I played with Barbie dolls and had tea parties with imaginary friends. I pretended I was a mermaid every time I took a bath. I still thought boys were icky and I had no idea I liked girls, too. I wouldn't get my period for another four years. And most importantly, I didn't have a clue about sex.

The church taught me that sex was for married people. Extramarital sex was sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell if I did it. I learned that as a girl, I had a responsibility to my future husband to remain pure for him. It was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn't remain pure for me, because he didn't have that same responsibility, according to the Bible. And of course, because I was a Christian, I would forgive him for his past transgressions and fully give myself to him, body and soul.

Once I got married, it would be my duty to fulfill my husband's sexual needs. I was told over and over again, so many times I lost count, that if I remained pure, my marriage would be blessed by God and if I didn't that it would fall apart and end in tragic divorce.


I believed it. Why wouldn't I? I was young and these were people I trusted. Everyone knew I'd taken the virginity vow, of course. Gossip is the lifeblood of the Baptist Church. My parents were so proud of me for making such a spiritual decision. The church congregation applauded my righteousness.

For more than a decade, I wore my virginity like a badge of honor. My church encouraged me to do so, saying my testimony would inspire other young girls to follow suit. If the topic ever came up in conversation, I was happy to let people know that I had taken a pledge of purity.

It became my entire identity by the time I hit my teen years. When I met my then boyfriend-now husband, I told him right away that I was saving myself for marriage and he was fine with that because it was my body, my choice and he loved me.

We were together for six years before we got married. Any time we did anything remotely sexual, guilt overwhelmed me. I wondered where the line was because I was terrified to cross it. Was he allowed to touch my breasts? Could we look at each other naked? I didn't know what was considered sexual enough to condemn my future marriage and send me straight to Hell.

An unhealthy mixture of pride, fear, and guilt helped me keep my pledge until we got married. In the weeks before our wedding, I often got congratulated on keeping my virginity for so long. The comments ranged from curious (how in the world did you manage?) to downright disgusting (I bet you're going to have one busy wedding night!). I let them place me on the pedestal as their virginal, perfect-Christian-girl mascot.

I lost my virginity on my wedding night, with my husband, just as I had promised that day when I was 10 years old. I stood in the hotel bathroom beforehand, wearing my white lingerie, thinking, "I made it. I'm a good Christian." There was no chorus of angels, no shining light from Heaven. It was just me and my husband in a dark room, fumbling with a condom and a bottle of lube for the first time.

Sex hurt. I knew it would. Everyone told me it would be uncomfortable the first time. What they didn't tell me is that I would be back in the bathroom afterward, crying quietly for reasons I didn't yet comprehend. They didn't tell me that I'd be on my honeymoon, crying again, because sex felt dirty and wrong and sinful even though I was married and it was supposed to be okay now.

When we got home, I couldn't look anyone in the eye. Everyone knew my virginity was gone. My parents, my church, my friends, my co-workers. They all knew I was soiled and tarnished. I wasn't special anymore. My virginity had become such an essential part of my personality that I didn't know who I was without it.

It didn't get better. I avoided undressing in front of my husband. I tried not to kiss him too often or too amorously so I wouldn't lead him on. I dreaded bedtime. Maybe he'd want to have sex.

When he did, I obliged. I wanted nothing more than to make him happy because I loved him so much and because I'd been taught it was my duty to fulfill his needs. But I hated sex. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep because I wanted to like it, because it wasn't fair. I had done everything right. I took the pledge and stayed true to it. Where was the blessed marriage I was promised?


I let it go on this way for almost two years before I broke down. I just couldn't do it anymore. I told my husband everything. My feminist husband was horrified that I'd let him touch me when I didn't want him to. He made me promise I'd never do anything I didn't want to do ever again. We stopped having sex. He encouraged me to see a therapist and I did. It was the first step on a long journey to healing.

Ten-year-old girls want to believe in fairy tales. Take this pledge and God will love you so much and be so proud of you, they told me. If you wait to have sex until marriage, God will bring you a wonderful Christian husband and you'll get married and live happily ever after, they said. Waiting didn't give me a happily ever after. Instead, it controlled my identity for over a decade, landed me in therapy, and left me a stranger in my own skin. I was so completely ashamed of my body and my sexuality that it made having sex a demoralizing experience.

I don't go to church anymore, nor am I religious. As I started to heal, I realized that I couldn't figure out how to be both religious and sexual at the same time. I chose sex. Every single day is a battle to remember that my body belongs to me and not to the church of my childhood. I have to constantly remind myself that a pledge I took when I was only 10 doesn't define who I am today. When I have sex with my husband, I make sure it's because I have a sexual need and not because I feel I'm required to fulfill his desires.

I'm now thoroughly convinced that the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality. If I could go back, I would not wait. I would have sex with my then-boyfriend-now-husband and I wouldn't go to hell for it. We would have gotten married at a more appropriate age and I would have kept my sexuality to myself.

Unfortunately, I can't go back but I can give you this message as a culmination of my experiences: If you want to wait to have sex until marriage make sure it's because you want to. It's your body; it belongs to you, not your church. Your sexuality is nobody's business but yours.

SOURCE

"Statistics show that only 3% of single women of marriageable age in Nigeria are undisturbed by their lack of a spouse! The other 97% would do just about anything to become Mrs. Somebody''.

As we read on, we are going to see some rather unorthodox things Nigerian women will do in their quest to bag a husband! Some are bizarre, some are skanky and some are downright sad but if you are willing to try anything and getting a husband is the only activity left on your bucket list, you might want to try a few! (Men beware).

In no particular order:

1)Snatching a friend or relation's man.
All is fair in love and war! Rumor has it that women have resorted to locking their phones, hiding their men and coding their gist from so-called friends because it's a jungle out there.

2)Re-inventing themselves.
Pretence is the order of the day. No man wants to tame the shrew or teach the inexperienced or make an honest woman out of a dishonest one so once marriage is desired, women package themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable packages. After marriage, what you see is what you get!

3)Trapping with pregnancy.
This used to be the old school method of getting a man to propose. From skipping the pill to seducing the man or getting him drunk when she was ovulating, a woman usually knew she had the man where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there was no commitment. Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to child support. Are the girls deterred? NO! The girls have stepped up their game by involving the parents and you know parents don't like scandals

4)Praying & Fasting.
This would presumably be an honorable means of obtaining a husband but sometimes the prayers are offered up to deities other than God & other times it becomes a song permanently.
Taking his photograph to Cele church for a prophetess to pray over or a powerful Alfa. Heard it works like charm.
Taking his spérm, hair or personal effects to Babalawo. Guys, disposing of your condoms yourself is not such a bad idea.

5)Outright Jazz!
My friend recently gisted me about how a tied up, live pigeon had been discovered in a friend's sister-in-law's box. The woman confessed to using jazz and said she hadn't been sure if the guy would actually propose so she took the necessary precautions.

6)Putting love potion in his food!
This is classic and timeless but shouldn't it be called a compelling potion? Because in this case, love na by force!

7)Proposing to a guy!
Yes it does happen (Who wears the engagement ring?) Toasting a man's family so they make the decision for him! A friend complained that a girl he detested had over the months gotten close to his family. Lavishing on them, cooking for them and basically being their go-to girl and now his mum had put her foot down that he had to break up with his girlfriend and marry little-miss-went-home-to-mama depending on how much power the family wields, their word may be final.

Asking daddy to get them a husband!
If daddy's a big shot, arranging a husband for you is usually as easy as pie and some men would sell their souls for a large chunk of daddy's money so both parties are happy.

9)Being the man's maga!
Some women believe that when you finally get a man to be interested in you, spoiling him and overlooking his every fault would get you into a white gown faster than an okada. Some men don't mind a woman who houses them, clothes them, feeds them, gives them pocket money, never gets upset with them even when they misbehave and cleans up after them with little or no contribution from them living the dream

10)Giving him unlimited freedom.
Tell me I am number one baby; tell me I am the future mother of your kids and not Amina, Bisi or Ngozi. Women used to want to be the one AND ONLY in their man's life, now being the number one is good enough.

11)Polishing up a low class, barely educated brother in exchange for a ring!
The deal is simple, you send your cleaner, gateman or driver to night school, you give him language lessons, you take him to buy some new clothes and deodorant and teach him to call you honey instead of madam and in exchange, he gets to marry you, share an expensive bedroom and never worry about his bills ever again!

12)Revamping you.
Change your wardrobe, lose 20kg, buy a truckload of Brazilian hair, study the karma-sutra, do an angioplasty and change the age on your birth-certificate to read 22. Botox, plastic surgery, a compulsory gym membership and a body magic also indicated!

13)Becoming a worker in church!
Rumour has it that men go to church to marry, the same rumour also reveals that Greeters Ushers and Lead Soloists have the best exposure. Praise the Lord!

14)Moving to a new town or part of town
This always peaks the men's interest and at the same time you get to run away from your past and the old maid labels!

15)Going for deliverance
Going for deliverance from a spirit husband and sowing a big marriage seed in church! Giving your possessions to the poor, giving a sacrificial offering or just giving one thing to God that would make you weep.

16)Abandoning hopes, dreams and ambitions!
I've heard people say that women looking for a prince charming live unrealistic dreams, virgins are old-school, overly educated women are proud, rich women are not submissive, ambitious women are conceited, women with demanding jobs won't have time for their families, women who want a faithful man are deluded and women who don't get pregnant before wedlock have something wrong with their plumbing! So forsake the masters, don't even dream of a PhD, quit your job, give away all your money and surely a husband will come.

17)Outright Desperation
And if all the above fails, they marry a married man!
He could be your friend's husband, your sister's husband, your cousin's husband, your colleague's husband, even your mother's husband if possible.

Can you blame these women? The average guy has commitment phobia or is out to play till he is all spent before he settles down or is waiting to make his first 5 million before saying I do. Even a man with no future ambition or class, much less finances still knows he could have his pick of the best women out there, once he announces he is looking to settle!

''The last census showed a female-dominated demographic with more women per eligible bachelor.
Family and society constantly put the woman in hot water making her personal successes irrelevant till she bags a man''.

A guy and a girl have been dating for years and everything seems to be going well. However, five or six years down the line, the girl has never met the guy’s parents. Furthermore, she doesn’t know where their relationship is heading to.

Is it therefore morally right for a woman to pressurise her man into proposing to her? Or better still, is it ethically okay for a woman to ask to know her fate in a relationship?

Click like here if you think he's guilty.

The judge in the Oscar Pistorius murder trial remained silent through months of court proceedings that caught the attention of the world.

Tomorrow, however, she'll deliver a judgment that brings her to the forefront. Judge Thokozile Masipa, 66, has sat on a dais in red robes throughout the televised trial, rarely interrupting the drama unfolding below as the prosecutor sought to prove that the Olympic athlete murdered girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp and defense lawyers argued that the shooting was a terrible mistake.

https://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2014/news/140324/oscar-pistorius-600.jpg

Pistorius could face 25 years to life in prison if convicted of premeditated murder. He could also be convicted of a lesser murder charge or negligent killing, both of which call for years in jail. The judge could acquit him if she believes the 27-year-old made a tragic error.

Is Pistorius guilty or not guilty? Seun and Mukina2 should bring back the poll.

Hmm

So a girlfriend of mine had this awful husband. He was a nice enough guy but he didn't pay attention to her and NEVER wanted to have sex. We knew things were bad but she was quiet about it. She's a great girl who deserved better.

Anyway, she finally got tired of his shit and filed for divorce. This was a few years ago. On the night the divorce was final we went out and had a few drinks. There were 10 of us there.

She got really drunk and gave us details about their sex life. Like really intimate stuff. Too many details to tell you the truth. She told us that after a few months of marriage, she began keeping a diary of everything that happened. Like everything. We asked her what she meant by that and she told us she would send it by email.

A few days pass and we don’t hear from her. Then like in the middle of the night, a bunch of us get this pdf file. She scanned pages from her diary. It was so beyond funny…I felt terrible for reading it. We all laughed about it for a few weeks.

https://i.huffpost.com/gen/1929141/original.jpg

SOURCE:
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5618005