₦airaland Forum

ekmike:
FirstLy, you really need help in addressing people. You don't know me so stop assuming. I don't lend what I can't afford to lose so you know and believe me I have lost money in trying to provide help for friends. Did I fight them, NO!

I didn't try to justify OP act if you really understand my comment. Don't tell me about OP mistake, what he need is a way out.

Thanks for understanding why I opened this thread in the first place.

OChimex:
This is one thing I hate about blacks, they are always fault finders, yet they don't solve any problem. First if only the fault u noticed, u must be stupid, plain stupid. second if u had read the young man's story well u will understand that he is doing everything in his means to pay up, and he doesn't sound like one who wont pay the debt. He is working hard to solve the problem, just that he should be patient. His problem is the pressure on him which is affecting him psychologically. Mind u if he doesn't get this psychological thing solved he won't get himself together to do any hustling, he might even lose his life. When one faces a challenge, the first is to get hold of his senses, then the rest will be history with time. and that's where my emphasis lie.

If u had read my comments, I mentioned that the borrower did him no wrong so he shouldn't take offence in the pressure, rather be loyal and plead with him to give him time. But u seem to not have noticed all these, instead u chose to be an alliterate, emotional, sentimental simpleton.

To be frank with u, this is not Europe or America where u see things do if u are serious, even if u don't have money. Nigeria is not a place u see hustling do easily if u have no finances or support.

I don't take pride in willingly hurting others, but when one has done all his possible best to solve a problem and nothing works, its maturity to accept it that way, but keep working smarter and harder until things improve instead of doing things one will regret in the future.

Ask yourself why people kill themselves? They allow the problem to eat their psych.

Now take your bitterness with you and next time when helping one, don't be judgemental rather, be empathetic.

To me, all u wrote is just poo, u make no sense, maybe because things work for y easily. it doesn't work that way for millions in Nigeria.

You just understand exactly the situation I found myself into. I didn't come here to fix blame,I came to fix my problem. I really appreciate your maturity Sir. I wish I had any means to raise the money for him today,I won't even wait another day because I need my sanity back.

Originalsly:
Beg him to accept at least N100K /month until the debt is paid off. Cut that amount out of expenditures....list your expenditures according to priorities....then cut from the bottom until the amount can be met. If he doesn't agree...cut more to pay him more....and yes...if it comes to school fees...so be it...nothing in life is guaranteed... including your freedom.
What have you done about getting your money back from the company?....who owns the company and where he lives and was defrauded by his staff ... none of that is your business. Your business is to get your money back from the company. ....the same way your friend is trying to get his money back from you...your situation is none of his business. He is rightfully demanding his money back from you...and so should you be rightfully be demanding your money back from the company. Have you? ...if not why?
Pray hard the matter with your friend doesn't get to the Police.....Police are also human...and they have encountered people who borrow money and haven't repaid...and are giving excuses... do you really think they would be listening to your explanations?....or trying to reach an agreement? They will see you as a swindler.... do you really think you will be returning home...any time soon? ...then who is going to pay your rent?...feed your family?..pay school fees?...and your worse fear...what the people will now be saying?...in your community?...in church?..at your workplace?
Bro...you took a loan from your friend...and have not repaid. That's criminal in any part of the world. Repay the guy before it's too late.

Thanks

ikukuhero:
Your last sentence is annoying. You didn't even suggest to him to double his hustle to make more money to pay off the debt or how to pay his debt. All you had to say was " ask him to the u and sell you.". People like u never pay their debts. Cunning kind of person you are. You owe a debt and you are here bragging about not paying it. People like you make good people cease helping others in need. To the poster in need of advice, I think you should plead with your friend and make an effort to pay back in bits. It could be 10k or more per month. Just let ur friend see that you have him in mind, are grateful for assisting u in time of need, etc. You can start Uber car driving to get some cash. But, NEVER take a loan to pay this debt. Just show some commitment towards offsetting your debt. And next time, do not borrow to bury the dead, do naming, marriage, etc. You should have done a small burial within ur means, but no! You wanna show that u are the first son. See what u go urself into.

Finally, don't lose ur integrity for it is the only thing a man takes to his grave. Begin paying ur debt piecemeal. Give yourself a 1 or 2 year repayment plan and tell ur friend about it. Good luck as you pass through life's school of hard knocks.

Indeed it's a school of life. I appreciate your contributions Sir.

perousd:
The guy borrowed you with good mind o. But now you dey post m up n down. I sense it's all your fault. He lost trust in you. He sees you as a swindler. He sees you as a deceiver. He's made enquiries on how to handle your type and he's been told to do the CRAZY.
I don't think your friend is a bad person. I feel you were not being truthful at some point.
I might be wrong with my analysis... Just don't involve your family.
Na so once guy borrow money from me unto say she dey hospital and she go pay back February month end. This is the third month. She dey give me stories upon stories. The thing dey pain as wear. Especially when you need the money back or you feel the person dey post you.

Pay fast abeg. Even if it means selling anything. That's your way out.

It's not as simple as you analyzed it Sir. I never lied to him but you know when it involves money, the only truth people believe is repayment. I appreciate his assistance and I'm forever grateful but I regret ever going to borrow in the first place. What would you do if you were in my shoe? I need solutions not fixing of blame

Originalsly:
Bro...you still don't get it. As far as you are concerned.... the guy must wait until you sort yourself out. I ask again..... how much have you repaid so far?

The total money was 1.3m. I had to give him my rent of 350k just to calm him down after I have discussed everything with my landlord. The balance is now 950k .My landlord agreed to give me sometimes (4 months to raise his rent) since I have never owed him before. I have no other source to raise the money and all the projects I have at hand are yet to pay off. So what else should I do please?

emmysoftyou:
you didn't state how much you re owing him?

Less than 1 million naira.

Handsomebeing:
You just keep working hard. Things will improve. God bless you.

Thanks

Hotguy27:
In addendum, you did not tell us the age of this debt neither did you tell us the amount. For instance, if you are with someone's N10m for 2 to 3 years without any sign of pay back... Come ooon!
Dude, hustle to pay that debt. No complain!

It's no way close to such kind of amount abeg. Not even up to a million naira because I have paid him some before now.

helpee:
it seems you already concluded your friend is a bad friend and you are here looking for people that will advice you how best to cut ties with your friend. IMAGINE YOUR WIFE OF ONE YEAR IS ALREADY COMPLAINING. MEANING SHE REFUSED TO UNDERSTAND. Now you expect your friend to understand. It is not always true that DSS will only ask you when you can pay back. If you friend goes there to accuse you of FRAUDULENTLY DEFRAUDING HIM OF HIS MONEY ..IT IS CRIMINAL. They will charge to court and once prison start starring you in the face, you will pay. Police have a way of doing that if your friend knows people. They wont say you borrowed. They will say you deceived him there was a business you want to do and you fraudulently diverted the money to DO BURIAL. But i know you wont believe me.....

This is exactly my fear. Anything can happen in this country and I'm aware of that.

[quote author=OChimex post=66806955]Lol. So DSS be your fear? Nothing dey happen joor..

Go read my advice again. DSS will only ask u when u will pay him.....[/quote
Okay Sir

freshvine:
someone sowed an evil seed in your life during your dad burial. what you're experiencing is a culmination of evil networking and your friend is an accessory in the spiritual realm.

go for deliverancy and have a genuine repentance, give alms no matter how little and in few months time, you'll be able to pay him off.

please do not remain empty thinking that chairman will pay you, ofcourse he'll pay but the evil hand will make sure he split the money to meet ur primary needs but not in full to pay ur creditor unless you pray fervently.

Honestly sometimes I want to believe something is wrong somewhere. I have never lacked cash to sort out my problems before but suddenly things just went south since last year after the burial. I have two siblings in higher institutions and another two living with me. They rely totally on me for school fees, feeding and rent. I have never had problem taking care of their bills till now. I have really tried to explain to him what I'm currently going through but instead of understanding with me, he will get more aggressive. I can't even pray anymore because I can't focus.

GreatDreams:
Pls, give me your friend's number...let me teach him a way to get his money back from you, all it takes is just for him to enter Army barrack and get two soldiers, after they descend on you, in less than 48hrs, the money will show up, even your pastor will help you pay part of it.The guy didn't go this far but you are complaining. Do you have an idea what he is going through because you didn't keep up to your promise? You even have the gut not to pick his calls. My simple advise, take your pastor to him and plead with him not inviting him to come on top his money! He luvs you that's why he went to your pastor!

Sir, I never told you I don't pick his calls. I said sometimes I just feel like ignoring his calls. I imagine you asked somebody for sometime like yesterday and the person still called you back today to ask you for his money. How possible is it for me to raise that cash within few hours?.

saintneo:
My response will be Christianity based.

1. A lot of things happen at burials, show off of wealth often attract envy and bewitchment.

2. Friends can be diabolical and their wealth can come from an evil source.


Have you taken this issue to God in prayers, have you fasted? Has your pastor joined you in prayers?

I will advice you go for Three-day deliverance session at MFM Rumuola. Note, a three-day dry fasting will be involved.

Furthermore, a warning before you proceed with the deliverance, you should be aware that any slip-up in your Christian life after the deliverance will open up the doors for more evil to return ... Deuteronomy 28.

The truth is that I can't even focus these days. Even when I try to get on my knees and pray,all I think about is my problem and I will end up just saying our Lords prayer.

Originalsly:
I understand your situation...but did you ever care to ask what your friend is going through because you haven't repaid him? What do you expect him to think when you collected his money and disappeared?.....disappear ...not seen nor can't be contacted?. .. can't be contacted because your phone battery died?..is your phone a Tesla?...cannot be recharged in Cross River? ....couldn't you borrow a phone to call him? I guess you forgot to say how much you paid back so far. ...N50?
You behave like a swindler...so how do you expect to be treated? The guy needs his cash...not excuses. Start paying him back....before it's too late.

It was less than 48 hours trip.He knows where I live and I didn't disappear please.

OChimex:
Listen my dear, I have been in such debt bondage, even now, I haven't paid the money. There was a time pressure was so much that I nearly went insane.

The truth is, you have to calm down and know he won't do anything to you. Always pick his calls even if ten times a day, and always plead with him each time, and politely ask him if he can take any of your properties in place of the money since u can't pay it for now. Don't dodge him and don't be rude to him. He did u a great favour, so don't see him as a bad person. All those gragra is just to put pressure on u and nothing else, believe me, he won't do anything. Forget about your ego, let him tarnish it so far as its about a debt, everyone has been in such debt bondage.

The worst he can do is to arrest u, but then, any authority u are taking to will do nothing except asking u when u will pay the money.

Believe me honestly, u will be fine. But never u see him as a bad person, and don't tell I'll of him in his back.

Plead plead plead with him always and ask him to take u and sell u to get his money back......

cheers......

I have tried to beg him to givee some time to sort myself out and pay him his money. But he keeps threatening me with statements like "I have someone in DSs and he's waiting for my call to act". That's why I opened this thread because the guy doesn't want to wait.

homerac7:
DON'T EVER EVER MAKE A MISTAKE OF OBTAINING LOAN TO PAY A DEBT !!!

I saw some people advising you to do that, it's jumping from frying pan into fire.

On the matter, what has happened has happened, you can only hope to get out of the situation with some dignity at end of the day. You can only arrange a physical meeting with your friends in presence of a trusted third party, appeal to him, and show him evidences of your delayed payment, and give him some assurance he will get him money complete. Make sure you tape it on your phone. If need be, draw up some written agreement with copies for everybody (including witnesses) and sign. It is prudent to exclude your wife from such physical meetings.

Afterwards, go on and live your life, and work towards paying him back.

Never let the pressure make you do something stupid. You are owing already, so he must learn to get patient while you get money to pay him. If he can't, he may as well go to police station ( - no fear, it's a civil case and police can't do you shiit), or report to whoever he wants to, only make sure you're making genuine and progressive efforts to get him paid.

Good luck

#IHaveBeenThereBefore

God bless you Sir

madridguy:
Get police and your lawyer involved with immediate effect, also tell your wife to be vigilant because your so called friend get plan for her. Make sure you always lock your gate/door, she should be careful of strange number calling and not to go out alone in the night.

My suggestion sir.

Noted Sir. I will do so.

[quote author=franktolk post=66802429]Hello sir , you are owing and necessity demands you pay your creditors. I don't like it when people like you start giving frivolous excuses when its time to pay back what you borrowed. Your action has potentially spoilt your relationship with your friend and definitely blocked future opportunities.
Next time don't borrow beyond your capacity. [/quote
]
I have paid him some and I'm not giving any excuses Sir. You don't really understand what's happening.

Lomprico2:
Stop calling the fucker your friend cos he is not!

And don't meet him anywhere out skirt town, d guy fit don plan abduction on u or ur wife.

And lastly get a loan from somewhere else to pay him, even if na to borrow from ur pastor (afterall dem dey get money )

Thank you chief

Handsomebeing:
That’s a lot to go thru but not sure it’s up to what I went to which I am still recovering from. I went from leaving lagos to start a lucrative business in Delta state. To cut the long story short, I had to run back to lagos due to security challenges I faced with my family living in warri.

It was very tough as I lost almost everything. Sold what was left to rent a house in Lagos, at one point sold my car and started sharing the other car with my wife.

Started struggling financially for the first time since my marriage. The obvious started, wife started giving attitude and misbehaving. Her mom too would bring all sorts of s**t too through her daughter. I ignored for long until it got to a point I couldn’t take it anymore. Before then, I made sure I did everything I could do as a man to take care of my family and pay school fees including using the car as a cab on Saturday and Sunday evening, started playing soccer betting which also helped a great deal as I was lucky enough to win an amount that paid off my debt of over 2m. All these she didn’t know.

I reacted to wives disrespect first my getting myself out of my financial mess.. secondly, I was mad at her that I even walked my mother Inlaw out. Gave her an option to follow her mom which she didn’t take.

My advise, leave your wife alone until you’re out of your mess. Face her when you’re out of it and you’ll earn your respect back when she sees improvements. Women are wired to love comfort. Some just take it too far.

God bless you Sir, I'm really inspired. My wife initially made some statements that really pissed me up like " This is not the kind of life she bargained for". My marriage is less than one year and it's a very bad challenge for me. Imagine people stopping you on the road and start telling you stuffs like " Mr. ABC told me about your business dealings with him". I just tire bro

tizzdi:
Sorry but how is your marriage tested here cus i dont get

He goes around telling my Church people that I defrauded him. This has made my wife to stop going to church for over 2 months now. I came back from Bonny last week and she was crying because even her parents in another city has heard the stories.

oyetunder:
May God help you to settle this satanic debt.

Amen, thanks Sir

Zdoh:
Almighty God will see you through the best is to look for some others place to borrow money and settle him.

Amen, thank you

Stycon:
I have not experienced this before but I think you may wanna consider doing credit refinancing - get another loan with better terms to finance this particular loan

I have tried to use my property to get a loan but my wife is against the idea.

Prognose:
Na Warri man? He wants to abduct your wife and hold her as surety until you pay.


Suggestion :

Involve the police or a lawyer. Let them draft up a memorandum of understanding for both of you saying how much you are owing and how soon you will pay back. That should put to rest any dubious thing he has in mind and also make your hustle more serious in paying him back his money.

Suggestion:

You have been doing good business before, I assume you have a bank account. Take a soft loan from the bank and pay your friend back. You can now pay the bank back monthly.

Pick one.

Solve this matter quickly cos it seems your friend is getting desperate.

I appreciate your advice sir

blackpanthar:
KINDLY INVOLVE POLICE...

Also be very vigilant because the guy must be FETISH to want u and your wife to COME OUTSIDE PH TO AN UNKNOWN PLACE.....

also you have to cut ties with him offline and online... even change your number.

Your WIFE still trusts you and that is all you need... FORGET ABOUT PEOPLE and THEIR OPINIONS... when u get the MONEY FORWARD IT VIA BANK TRANSFER TO HIM.... never look back... YOUR FAMILY SAFETY COMES FIRST.

In this life.. friends can be worse than the devil. so stay SHARP

Thank you Sir, I really appreciate.

Good evening Friends, please I need your urgent advice and on how to manage this complicated situation.

I do supply of diesel and other products to a company here in Port Harcourt. They always paid within one or two weeks.After my mother's burial last year ,I didn't have enough cash to execute the supply they gave me because i sponsored the burial as the first son. So I borrowed some cash from a friend.

That was the beginning of my wahala. The company's manager and some workers defrauded the owner that hardly lives in Nigeria. So my payment was delayed and I explained everything to my friend. That I even invested all my little savings to that supply and that I'm even finding it difficult to feed my family.

Around February this year I went to Cross River state to buy chippings for someone and I spent about two days there because of truck problems. So my phone battery was down and even my wife was not able to reach me. To my greatest surprise, this my friend went to my church and I told my pastor that defrauded him.That I have even packed out of my house and switched off my phone. Meanwhile he knows my place and he didn't even bother to go and ask my wife where I went to since my number wasn't going through. When the pastor told me things he said, I couldn't believe it (infact I was shocked). I called my friend and he initially denied meeting my pastor.

The pastor scheduled a meeting for us to meet and sort things out but the guy refused to show up. I have tried to sell my own share of my inheritance to pay him his money but I have not been able to see a serious buyer due to the location of the property.

The problem is that this guy is calling everybody that I know and even going to Facebook to contact my friends that I defrauded him. I have asked him to give me time but he said I must come to somewhere outside port Harcourt town with my wife before he will negotiate anything with me. I cannot allow anybody to ridicule my marriage because of debt. I told him I won't involve my wife in that kind of arrangement. He calls me every morning and night and sometimes i just feel like ignoring his calls because i know it's same talk everytime.The company is currently not operating but the chairman has agreed to pay me soon. How do I handle this mess because this guy is ruining my reputation and it's tearing my marriage apart. If you have experienced this before, please I need your advice urgently because I'm going insane.

Good evening Friends, please I need your urgent advice and on how to manage this complicated situation.
I do supply of diesel and other products to a company here in Port Harcourt. They always paid within one or two weeks.After my mother's burial last year ,I didn't have enough cash to execute the supply they gave me because i sponsored the burial as the first son. So I borrowed some cash from a friend. That was the beginning of my wahala. The company's manager and some workers defrauded the owner that hardly lives in Nigeria. So my payment was delayed and I explained everything to my friend. That I even invested all my little savings to that supply and that I'm even finding it difficult to feed my family. Around February this year I went to Cross River state to buy chippings for someone and I spent about two days there because of truck problems. So my phone battery was down and even my wife was not able to reach me. To my greatest surprise, this my friend went to my church and I told my pastor that defrauded him.That I have even packed out of my house and switched off my phone. Meanwhile he knows my place and he didn't even bother to go and ask my wife where I went to since my number wasn't going through. When the pastor told me things he said, I couldn't believe it (infact I was shocked). I called my friend and he initially denied meeting my pastor. The pastor scheduled a meeting for us to meet and sort things out but the guy refused to show up. I have tried to sell my own share of my inheritance to pay him his money but I have not been able to see a serious buyer due to the location of the property. The problem is that this guy is calling everybody that I know and even going to Facebook to contact my friends that I defrauded him. I have asked him to give me time but he said I must come to somewhere outside port Harcourt town with my wife before he will negotiate anything with me. The company is currently not operating but the chairman has agreed to pay me soon. How do I handle this mess because this guy is ruining my reputation and it's tearing my marriage apart. If you have experienced this before, please I need your advice urgently because I'm going insane.