₦airaland Forum

chika98:
Yeah it is a bad sign because quite frankly men don't actually know how to go about breaking up with a woman. They feel giving you the distance and acting up should give you the hint that he is done; anyways don't take my word for it as he may be pondering on other things. I haven't got a clue . . Just move on really

ok.
have been unable to sleep for over 4 nights now

Ok. But it hurts.

But a man saying he needs time alone is a bad sign , right?
I should get a grip of my emotions and move on?

I am really confused and seriously troubled

When a man you love soooooo much says he needs sometime alone to himself and has chosen not to talk to you, what does this mean ?

kellorah:
Meeting family members doesn't mean u will marry the guy/chick though.

I am very aware of this. Which makes me amused when he thinks i should count myself lucky for meeting his mum.

kellorah:
I'm sorry to say this but your guy is up to something. And he doesn't have to be cheating sef. Seems like he's running away from someone or something. I hope his folks are not about to force him into a marriage.

I dont think his folks have anything to do with this.
Cheating. . . . i dont know. But we talk everyday, randomly even at odd hours, midnight, 2am

Spy on him. . . . nope ! i am not that desperate !

kellorah:
O boi eyyy!! You don't know where he lives. LMAO! Are u sure u should be loving this dude? HMM.

What if u want to post something to him? You'll have to send it to the office? ? Do u even know where he works?

I post to his office address.   I do know where he works

He is quick to defend my not knowing his (bachelor) crib by saying he does not know my (parents) house in nigeria (which is no fault of mine)

However, he has met my mum in europe

kellorah:
LOL! I see his visit was worth it.

How long ago did this happen? Surely u can ask him about it now and see what he says. . . .

Yeah, it was kinda worth it. But good love making should never be the standard to measure a good relationship

kellorah:
But is the relationship good though? Cos u mentioned something about how much love u have shown him. Seems like he doesn't reciprocate. And whereby he doesn't though, don't waste your time in such relationship as u will be unhappy. And the whole distance thing doesn't help.

He does reciprocate the love. He has done many fantastic things for me.

But its all very confusing his actions

I do not know where he lives in Europe . . . .
And he thinks its not an issue . . . . because he has introduced me to his parents in Nigeria

kellorah:
That was uncalled for.
Or did he just mean stubborn, cos u refused to listen to him and not see him off?

stubborn cos i refused to listen to him to his excuse which was he didnt want me coming back from the airport ''alone on the train''. meanwhile, i made the same journey ''all alone'' when going to meet him at the airport and i never complained about it neither was it any issue for him.

kellorah:
He prolly had a lot on his mind and wanted some time alone, and prolly wasn't in the mood to make convo on the train.

i dont think so. all has been well bw us throughout his stay with me. doing all the thungs that lovers do

arramyjay:
U are nt wicked, u were probably just angry with him.

he labelled me potentially wicked because i insisted on seeing him off to the airport

Ani Lee:
eish you sound really bitter and that is considered valid. You are right, being careful seems like the next sensible thing to do. Well, like i said, lay back and just observe for now. You dont have to offer the love at this point in time if you dont want, but I think it would be nice because it would only make you different from him. And you still havent broken up, so your years and times of knowing and having to learn each other should impose on you the ability to love him through this time. Love doesnt mean act naive, if anything, its the very opposite.

yes, i am bitter and confused. very!

Ani Lee:
Okay baby girl seems like there's more to this than you and i actually think. You say you asked him and he said aint nuthin wrong aite? Well, then give him benefit of the doubt and just lay back a bit, see how things go. Dont push him or anything of the sort. [b]just be yourself and offer your love unconditionally but be on the 'guard'. You may like to ask him at a later stage what was up with all the drama (hoping he'll be more open then), but if it happens again, confront him (nicely) and just ask the brutha ta cum out clean. [/b]

Yeah, there is more to this. We have had similiar arguement in the past, when he came down to see me and suddenly decided he wanted to go visit his friend. I wanted to go with him and he said no, and stood his ground. I allowed him only for him to come back to my end at midnight. I could not help thinking he went out to meet another woman but he kept saying it was a male friend. We had arguements on this, but we later settled.

I thought he would have learnt from that. So repeating similiar stunt again, leaves me with no choice but to be extra careful with him

i am not ready to offer any unconditional love to a man that brands me stubborn and potentially wicked . you guys have no idea how much love i have shown to this guy !

What hurt me the most was the name calling.

Stubborn and potentially wicked? Just because i wanted to see him to the airport. A gesture that is borne out of love

Ani Lee:
Honey you are more than justified. For all i care, I smell smoke n where there's smoke, there's fire. Now what kinda person wud tell u u gat d potential to be wicked Esp a partner. Dat aint right. Dude is up to sth. He should just come out clean instead of calling a fork a spade. I am 1000% with you on this.

That were my exactly my own thoughts. He knows that i will want to see him off to the airport and do the usual ceremony of kissing, hugging, etc. This is someone i see about once in three months averagely. I might not see him again till December, so i just wondered why all the big fuss in seeing him off to the airport.

His reasons for not wanting me to go with him was that i would ''travel back alone on the train'' and i told him that was no excuse. Afterall, i ''travelled all alone'' to welcome him at the airport. I even got there way ahead and i had to wait in the cold for over an hour.

Positivity:
@ OP: Your bf seems overtly sensitive! Don't really know what the issue is between u two, perhaps u should take more time to communicate with each other not just talk to each other.

We communicate. There is almost nothing that we do not talk about. Thats why i am baffled by his actions

[quote author=lady_hard link=topic=339723.msg4760588#msg4760588 date=1255945302]Just looks like a lovers' tiff to me. Seems there is something eating him up and he is not able to communicate it to you. Ask him, gurl![/quote]I do not think there is anything eating him up. I did ask him though.

I have been in a relationship for over a year with a man that i love very very much. we stay in two different countries and we travel often to see each other.

The norm is we see meet each other at the airport and then see each other off. But during the last visit, he insisted that i should not see him off at the airport. initially, i thought it was a joke, until he kept insisting that i should not follow him. we had an argument and i told him i will follow him whether he likes it or not. He later succumbed and bought train tickets for both of us only for him to call me a stubborn girl and that i have the potentials to be a wicked person.

These words really pained me and he knew it because i told him, yet he didn't apologise and he kept acting like all was well. Anyway, later that day, i I told him that he should get a refund for the tickets and he can go to the airport alone, that i was not going with him any longer. He thought i was probably joking and morning came, i didn't follow him. He was very very shocked.

Am i not justified in my actions?