₦airaland Forum

Hello Nairaland fam 👋🏾

If you're looking for something better than endless cartoons this holiday... I’ve got something you’ll love.

I created a KidPreneur Naija Workbook — a printable workbook that teaches kids how to think like young CEOs.

✅ Ages 6–11
✅ Fun business-building activities
✅ Teaches branding, saving, pricing, and pitching
✅ Printable badge + certificate
✅ Just ₦2,500 – instant access, no stress

It's perfect for parents, teachers, aunties/uncles, and even holiday schools that want to give kids something fun, smart, and confidence-building.

🎯 You don’t need to wait for delivery. I’ll send it directly once you’re ready.

Interested? Drop a comment or send me a DM and I’ll give you all the details.
Let’s raise sharp, creative kids this summer 💼✨

I normally don’t mind when people say “Let me pick your brain.”
While I understand the hunger for insight and knowledge from experienced connections…
The phrase is lowkey getting abused.

We must realize: the brains we’re all trying to pick were carefully seasoned, well-roasted, and pressure-cooked over the years.
Money entered. Time entered. Tears self enter. 😅

It’s not bad to show the way — I do it with joy. But at some point, especially for repeat “pickers,” we have to acknowledge this truth:

Knowledge is free. Strategy isn’t.

So instead of gatekeeping, I created 2 powerful kits that will give you my brain (and a bit of my hustle) — no scheduling calls, no awkward “how do I pay you?” convos.

🎯 1. The Sales Conversion Kit NG
✅ Plug & post captions
✅ WhatsApp DM scripts
✅ Broadcast templates
✅ And a 7-day plug-and-play funnel
💰 Only ₦3,500
🔗 Selar: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng
🔗 Selfany: https://selfany.com/kqdMkt

🤖 2. ChatGPT For Your Hustle Prompt Pack
🎯 Over 60 power prompts
📈 AI tools to sell, write, promote, and create like a pro
💰 Just ₦2,000
🔗 Selar: https://selar.com/chatgptforyourhustle

No more brain-picking guilt. 😌
No more “abeg help me write something” messages at 11:43PM.
Just grab a kit, open it, and let it work.

If you feel like you don’t need it (which I’m sure you do), buy it for someone who does.

Let’s normalize paying for value — even if it’s ₦2,000 at a time.

🔥 This weekend only!
Buy the Sales Conversion Kit NG & get:
✔️ 50 Naija-style captions
✔️ Editable pricelist template
🎁 1 lucky buyer gets ₦3,500 back!
Just ₦3,500
📥
Selar: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng
Ends 6PM Sunday 29th June 2025!
If you don’t need it (which I doubt), buy it for someone who does — or just to support Elysium Creatives 🙌🏾

Let’s be honest:
You're posting daily on WhatsApp and Instagram, but the orders just aren’t coming in.

I was right there — until I created The Sales Conversion Kit NG, a toolkit designed for Nigerian entrepreneurs who want real, repeatable sales.

Here’s what’s inside:
✅ Plug-and-play captions
✅ DM & Broadcast scripts
✅ A 7-Day Sales Funnel Guide
🎁 BONUS: Free Funnel Review (for early buyers)

It works for all kinds of businesses — fashion, digital products, food, hair, even the chicken egg trade 🐣

I used the DM script on a Saturday. By Monday, I had 3 paid orders.
No ads. No stress. Just smart systems.

Price: ₦3,500 only
Get it here:
🔹 Selar: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng
🔹 Selfany: https://selfany.com/kqdMkt

If you think you don’t need it (which I doubt), buy it for someone who does.
Call it a small investment in their hustle.

#SalesConversionKitNG #BusinessToolsNaija #SmallBusinessSupport #DigitalSalesKit #NairalandBusiness #ElysiumCreatives

🚀 [₦2000 ONLY] ChatGPT Prompt Pack for Nigerian Hustlers, Creators & Freelancers 🔥

Struggling to create content?
Tired of thinking too hard about captions, CVs, product descriptions, or how to reply customers?

💡 This ChatGPT Prompt Pack was designed specifically for the Nigerian hustle.
Whether you sell hair, do graphics, need a job, or just want your WhatsApp to pepper dem — this is for you.

✅ Ready-made prompts for:

Sales captions (WhatsApp & IG)

CV & cover letters

Product descriptions

Reels & TikTok ideas

Business bios

Relationship/Soft life vibes 😎

Hustle tips for small capital

📲 Just Copy. Paste. Blow.
Works perfectly on your phone with FREE ChatGPT.

No fluff. No stress. Just sharp results.

👉🏽 Download now for just ₦2000:
https://selar.com/chatgptforyourhustle

Created by: Elysium Creatives

#HustleSmart #ChatGPTNaijaStyle #NairalandHustle #ElysiumCreatives

Struggling to create content?
Tired of thinking too hard about captions, CVs, product descriptions, or how to reply customers?

💡 This ChatGPT Prompt Pack was designed specifically for the Nigerian hustle.
Whether you sell hair, do graphics, need a job, or just want your WhatsApp to pepper dem — this is for you.

✅ Ready-made prompts for:

Sales captions (WhatsApp & IG)
CV & cover letters
Product descriptions
Reels & TikTok ideas
Business bios
Relationship/Soft life vibes 😎
Hustle tips for small capital

📲 Just Copy. Paste. Blow.
Works perfectly on your phone with FREE ChatGPT.
No fluff. No stress. Just sharp results.

👉🏽 Download now: https://selar.com/chatgptforyourhustle

Created by: Arome Ameh | Elysium Creatives
#HustleSmart #ChatGPTNaijaStyle #NairalandHustle #ElysiumCreatives

Tired of posting daily on WhatsApp or IG with zero sales?

I was too… until I created this plug-and-play Sales Conversion Kit NG — a toolkit built specifically for Nigerian business owners who sell online.

Here’s what’s inside:
✅ Captions that actually sell
✅ DM + Broadcast scripts
✅ A 7-Day Sales Funnel Plan
✅ Bonus: Free Funnel Review (for early buyers)

I used the exact DM script in the kit on Saturday — and by Monday, I had closed 3 new orders. This is not fluff. It’s a sales weapon.

📥 Price: ₦3,500 only
🛒 Download instantly: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng

And if you *think* you don’t need it, buy it for someone you know who does.
That ₦3,500 might be the best investment in their business this year.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comments.

#SalesKit #SmallBusinessTools #NairalandBusiness #DigitalProductNaija #WhatsAppMarketing

Tired of posting daily on WhatsApp or IG with zero sales?

I was too… until I created this plug-and-play Sales Conversion Kit NG — a toolkit built specifically for Nigerian business owners who sell online.

Here’s what’s inside:
✅ Captions that actually sell
✅ DM + Broadcast scripts
✅ A 7-Day Sales Funnel Plan
✅ Bonus: Free Funnel Review (for early buyers)

I used the exact DM script in the kit on Saturday — and by Monday, I had closed 3 new orders. This is not fluff. It’s a sales weapon.

📥 Price: ₦3,500 only
🛒 Download instantly: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng

And if you *think* you don’t need it, buy it for someone you know who does.
That ₦3,500 might be the best investment in their business this year.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comments.

#SalesKit #SmallBusinessTools #NairalandBusiness #DigitalProductNaija #WhatsAppMarketing

Tired of posting daily on WhatsApp or IG with zero sales?

I was too… until I created this plug-and-play Sales Conversion Kit NG — a toolkit built specifically for Nigerian business owners who sell online.

Here’s what’s inside:
✅ Captions that actually sell
✅ DM + Broadcast scripts
✅ A 7-Day Sales Funnel Plan
✅ Bonus: Free Funnel Review (for early buyers)

I used the exact DM script in the kit on Saturday — and by Monday, I had closed 3 new orders. This is not fluff. It’s a sales weapon.

📥 Price: ₦3,500 only
🛒 Download instantly: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng

And if you *think* you don’t need it, buy it for someone you know who does.
That ₦3,500 might be the best investment in their business this year.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comments.

#SalesKit #SmallBusinessTools #NairalandBusiness #DigitalProductNaija #WhatsAppMarketing

Tired of posting daily on WhatsApp or IG with zero sales?

I was too… until I created this plug-and-play Sales Conversion Kit NG — a toolkit built specifically for Nigerian business owners who sell online.

Here’s what’s inside:
✅ Captions that actually sell
✅ DM + Broadcast scripts
✅ A 7-Day Sales Funnel Plan
✅ Bonus: Free Funnel Review (for early buyers)

I used the exact DM script in the kit on Saturday — and by Monday, I had closed 3 new orders. This is not fluff. It’s a sales weapon.

📥 Price: ₦3,500 only
🛒 Download instantly: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng

And if you *think* you don’t need it, buy it for someone you know who does.
That ₦3,500 might be the best investment in their business this year.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comments.

#SalesKit #SmallBusinessTools #NairalandBusiness #DigitalProductNaija #WhatsAppMarketing

Tired of posting daily on WhatsApp or IG with zero sales?

I was too… until I created this plug-and-play Sales Conversion Kit NG — a toolkit built specifically for Nigerian business owners who sell online.

Here’s what’s inside:
✅ Captions that actually sell
✅ DM + Broadcast scripts
✅ A 7-Day Sales Funnel Plan
✅ Bonus: Free Funnel Review (for early buyers)

I used the exact DM script in the kit on Saturday — and by Monday, I had closed 3 new orders. This is not fluff. It’s a sales weapon.

📥 Price: ₦3,500 only
🛒 Download instantly: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng

And if you *think* you don’t need it, buy it for someone you know who does.
That ₦3,500 might be the best investment in their business this year.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comments.

#SalesKit #SmallBusinessTools #NairalandBusiness #DigitalProductNaija #WhatsAppMarketing

Business Name: Elysium Creatives
Product: The Sales Conversion Kit NG
Location: Lagos, Nigeria
Product Type: Digital Download (Plug-and-play sales system)
Price: ₦3,500 only

If you sell anything online and you're tired of posting with no sales, this is for you.
I created The Sales Conversion Kit NG to help Nigerian entrepreneurs stop guessing and start closing.
It comes with:
✅ Sales captions
✅ DM + broadcast scripts
✅ A 7-day sales funnel planner
✅ Bonus: Free funnel review

Tested. Proven. Ready to download.
No fluff — just a system that works.

📥 Get yours now: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng
If you don’t need it (which I doubt 😉),
buy it for someone who does.
Consider it your small investment in their next big win.

Email: elysiumcreativesng@gmail.com

Tired of posting daily on WhatsApp or IG with zero sales?

I was too… until I created this plug-and-play Sales Conversion Kit NG — a toolkit built specifically for Nigerian business owners who sell online, whether you’re in fashion, hair, food, digital products, or even the chicken egg trade.

Yes — if you want to start selling crates of eggs weekly, or you're already supplying but people keep ghosting after asking “How much?”, you don’t just need a product — you need a system.

Here’s what this kit gives you:
✅ Captions that actually sell
✅ DM & broadcast scripts to handle customer objections
✅ A 7-Day Sales Funnel Plan to convert interest into orders
✅ Bonus: FREE Funnel Review (for early buyers)

📥 Price: ₦3,500
🛒 Instant download: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng
And if you think you don’t need it, buy it for someone you know who’s struggling to sell — including that aunt or uncle looking to start a poultry side hustle.
It might be the best ₦3,500 they spend all year.
Let’s help more Nigerians move from posting to profiting.
Feel free to drop questions in the comments. I’m happy to help.

Tired of posting daily on WhatsApp or IG with zero sales?
I was too… until I created this plug-and-play Sales Conversion Kit NG — a toolkit built specifically for Nigerian business owners who sell online.
Here’s what’s inside:
✅ Captions that actually sell
✅ DM + Broadcast scripts
✅ A 7-Day Sales Funnel Plan
✅ Bonus: Free Funnel Review (for early buyers)
I used the exact DM script in the kit on Saturday — and by Monday, I had closed 3 new orders. This is not fluff. It’s a sales weapon.
📥 Price: ₦3,500 only
🛒 Download instantly: https://selar.com/salesconversionkitng
And if you *think* you don’t need it, buy it for someone you know who does.
That ₦3,500 might be the best investment in their business this year.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comments.

#SalesKit #SmallBusinessTools #NairalandBusiness #DigitalProductNaija #WhatsAppMarketing

You want to know what grindz ma gearz?
Well I’ll tell you.
The weather has changed, and even Aku weather wasn’t prepared for this.

Don’t let me confuse you; I am simply referring to changed government that has introduced the season of denial and statement retraction.
I keep asking myself what these guys even think they are doing, because so far all I see are headlines, and then denials of such headlines, and honestly I am getting confused and very pissed off.


http://grindzmagearz..com/2015/07/denial-becomes-us.html#more

You want know what grindz my gearz today?
Well I’ll tell you, even if you don’t ask; I’m still going
to tell you.
Those lying blogs and online papers that come up
with mind boggling stories just to get views and
hits, without thinking of the negative effect it has on
both those they are reporting on, and those that are
reading it.

http://grindzmagearz..com/2015/07/lies-for-views.html?m=1

You want to know what grindz my gearz today?
You don't have to ask, because i'm going to tell you anyway. The yellow and black menace on lagos roads popular called danfo buses, yes i am going to talk about danfo buses because they really grind my gearz.

Read more at http://grindzmagearz..com/2015/06/that-yellow-n-black-menace.html

Just messing around and decided to try this, and see real life reactions to virtual situations

Enjoy and hope u like it



Twitter In Real Life 2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sw3peunRhI

Hi all,
This is a little story I want to share, it's a tale of pain,sorrow and remorse , and as always I will appeal that you read it and make sense of it, and share it.

The names, dates and events have been altered, so any similarities are entirely coincidental.

I stood in line behind her trying to get a doughnut at an eatery, been a while I had a doughnut, so I was willing to endure the chatter of a young lady in front of us, she seemed engrossed with her mobile phone, typing away, receiving calls and describing what she had on, and looking around as if expecting to see someone, it was getting quite annoying and I soon realized I was not the only one feeling that way, the lady in front of me shared the same notion and hissed loudly between intervals, I would later learn why she was so open in showing her distaste.

Chinwe, as I would later learn her name was, eventually made it to the head of the line, placed her order and was waiting to be serviced, she reached into her bag to pick up her wallet (I guess), and that was when I noticed the scar, it was a huge scar, one that ran from her eye, and disappeared into the side of her face, close to her ear, well I couldn't see farther than that because she had a hood veil covering her face, I guess she must have sensed my eyes, because she immediately turned and caught me staring at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, I immediately composed myself and turned the other way.

The chattering lady from earlier on, was eventually joined by an older looking fellow, well not older as in old enough to be her dad, but for their assumed ages, it was safe to say he was older, and actually had more experience in his eyes, from their discussion, which they didn't try to make private, I was able to deduce this was their first meeting, but they had actually been communicating via the internet, I overheard her commenting on his looks, and he in turn complemented her on hers, even going further to chastise her as at to why she hid her real beauty from him all this while.

Anyway, chinwe the lady with the scar, apparently had the need to trouble people she meets at eateries, but I would soon learn why, she immediately turned to the young girl and took off her hood, it revealed a very hideous deformation on her face, the scar actually ran from inside her right eye, all the way down her cheek, making a curve back across her ear and disappearing into the back of her head, her right eye was'nt.., well she didn't have a right eye, it was hollow, chinwe leaned towards the girl and said “ I advise you to run away, run as fast as your feet will carry you, no man knowing your age, and knowing his would consider having a meaningful relationship with you, this man does not have good intentions towards you, she turned to the man, smiled at him and said, oga leave children alone, what has she done to you. The man obviously got upset, I mean who wouldn't right? I noticed he was about to say something nasty, when I stepped in, somehow I felt there was something more to this, because what would give a human being so much courage as to confront a total stranger, if he/she wasn't privy to certain information, anyway I stepped in and acted as a pacifier and was able to calm the gentleman down, and when I turned round, chinwe was gone.

I picked up my doughnuts and walked out toward my car, yes I do have a car, and this part is not coincidental *wink*, anyway back to the story, I got into my car, and suddenly there was a tap on the passenger side window, to be honest this startled me, especially when I discovered it was chinwe, she motioned for me to wind down a bit, but I was too freaked out by her look, and honestly I didn't know if she was mad at me for butting in earlier, so I came out of the car, and walked around it to the other side, careful enough to give her enough room. She went on to introduce herself to me, and thanked me for stepping in when I did, no problem, just trying to help, and I went further to assure her it wasn't a gimmick to toast her, am married with two lovely kids I said, she smiled and said, trust me you wouldn't be interested in me even if you were single, I caught you staring at my face earlier on. At this point I felt very ashamed for staring and I also felt pity for her, she was a really sad lady, you could tell immediately that she just put up a tough exterior to keep people at bay.

I remained silent for a few seconds, and she was about to leave, when my curiosity got the better of me, and without thinking I blurted out, what happened to you, I quickly realized my error and tried to apologize, am so sorry I don't know what got into me, usually am not this forward, she stared at me with her good eye for a brief moment, and smiled a bit, don't worry about it she said, I would have been offended if you didn't ask, but it's a long story, now at the point the writer in me took over, and having a nose for a good story, I tried my luck once more, well am not in a hurry, and I have a feeling it would be a worthwhile story I said to her, she stared at me and asked in curiosity, are you a journalist she said, I quickly realized I had not introduced myself to her, I did so quickly and led her back into the eatery, while quickly checking my phone to see if I had enough battery life in case I needed to tape our conversation.
At this point I'll jump straight to her story, in her own words, (graphic content, reader discretion is advised).
My name is chinwe, I am 26 years old, I never graduated for the university, simply because I was stupid and careless, on my 24th birthday, I received a nice gift, it was a blackberry phone, I always wanted one, it was like a right of passage, my ex-boyfriend got it for me, he was a student like me, didn't have a job, and I really never cared to ask as he could afford it, my concern at that point was, yes I had finally arrived, other girls in my hostel had blackberries and I would always get pissed when I heard sounds of pings and messages coming into their phones at all hours and I would stare at my nokia phone and wish I could throw it away, but half bread they say is better than none, so I hoped and even fasted to get a blackberry phone, looking back now, if I had the opportunity, I'd have a landline with no internet activity what so ever, anyway I got the blackberry phone and even got free BIS subscription, at that moment my life was complete, no more going to the cyber cafes to check my emails, my face-book or twitter, I had it all at my finger tips, life indeed was complete, or so I thought.

Anyway, I became addicted to my blackberry and also my social media applications, and since I had constant access, I quickly gained enough followers, and especially guys, mostly because I had a lot of erotic pictures on my timeline, I was popular, finally I felt I was the main girl, everyone wanted to follow me, I didn't care if it was virtual, it felt good, checking out my profile and having well over 8,000 followers, more than half of which were guys, but one particular guy caught my attention, till this day I don't know what made him stand out, but we got chatty, he sent me direct messages and I replied, he was quiet a gentleman , and I can't remember him ever asking for a nude picture unlike the rest of them, so this made me comfortable with him, his name was tobi, he said he was a doctor , I didn't have any cause to doubt him, he had extensive knowledge and even gave me some medical advice from time to time, we eventually moved from twitter to blackberry chat, we chatted all the time, I got so comfortable with him, I gave him my number, and that would come to be the biggest mistake I ever made.

Tobi called me every day, some days he called more than once, at night he would call and I would lay on my bed and have phone intimacy with him, his voice was so soothing, he made me do things I never thought possible, he had gained so much access into my head, I realized later I had done some very sick and twisted things just to please him, I would take nude pictures of myself, I would send him videos of me touching myself in private, and send him voice notes of me making moaning sounds and simulating orgasms, and all this while we had not met, not face to face at least, eventually I played into his hands, I began pestering to meet him in person, at this point I had lost my mind, I assumed I was in-love with him, and when my boyfriend at the time broke up with me, I really welcomed it, for me it meant no more sneaking around.

Tobi eventually agreed to come to lagos to meet me, all this while he had made me to believe he was in calabar, and would take time off work to spend a weekend with me in lagos, when I heard this I was excited, he told me to book a reservation for him, stating he would pay me back as soon as he arrived and also he said it would make him more committed to the visit and would convince him of my seriousness, I bought it all, he was smart, he was cunning, and I was stupid, oh how stupid I was. The funny thing was I had sent him tons of pictures, and all I had was just one picture of him, and whenever I asked he would claim he wanted to be sure I loved him for him, and not for his looks, and sheepishly

I would try to convince him of my undying love, and would try to appease him with nude pictures of my body.
He eventually made it to lagos, I met him at the hotel, he was tall, handsome and had a wonderful smile, he made love to me over and over, and convinced me to spend the night with him, I told him I couldn't, because I had a test the next morning, now at this point I don't know what triggered his anger, don't know if it was because I couldn't spend the night, or maybe I said something else I can't remember saying, but whatever it was, brought out a very ugly side of him, he called me foul names, and kept going on and on about how he always knew I was cheap, and he knew I was sleeping with other men, the same man whom had swept me away, slammed me on the floor, he told me of how he had shown his friends all my nude pictures and how they had watched the videos and listened to the voice notes, he told me he had made a bet with his friends, that I would actually pay for him to have sex with me, just to prove how stupid I was, well you can imagine how I felt, I was confused and shocked, but I attempted to regain any little dignity I had left, and so I tried to mouth off at him, suddenly he punched me in the face, and I tripped over, and hit my head on a stool.

The next thing I remember was waking up on the bed, I was tied up, and he was staring at me, his eyes were dark and he had a sinister smile on his lips, he stood up and walked towards me ,I tried to scream and realized my mouth was tapped, my head was racing, the unfortunate part was that no one knew where I was, he turned me over, and told me he was going to teach me a lesson, at this point I was naked, he rapped me from behind, and I mean my anus, the pain was mind blowing, I struggled, and he hit me, when he was done he brought out a small blade, and he looked at me for a minute and said, this scare is going to always serve as a reminder, for girls like you always trying to be more than you are, for stupid fools like you, he put the blade to my nipple and cut it off, and anytime I think of it, I still feel the pain, it was like nothing I had ever felt before, he was calm, like he had done it a million times, I could feel the warm blood dripping down my mutilated breast, tears of fear and pain running down my face, and suddenly he turned around again, this time all I saw was a flash.

I don't know how I survived it, but I woke up in a hospital days after, well I was awake, but my eyes were swollen shut, It took a couple of days for me to open my one good eye, and realize the damage he had done, he had plucked out my eye, and cut my face, he had cut my breasts up real bad, they had to it out, like I had cancer or something, there was no record of who I was, because he had taken everything, he had taken my bag, containing everything I had.

I was able to tell the nurses about what I could remember, and also give them my mum's phone number, the hospital felt so much pity, they actually treated me for free, hard to believe right?
Anyway I was taken home after weeks at the hospital to recuperate, it was tough, I was blind in one eye, I had one breast and a hideous scar of my face, talk about your sinage, he did a number on me, how dumb was I, sometimes I wish he had killed me, but there are fates worse than death, and I guess this is one of them, he was gone without a trace, the receipt from the hotel was in my name, so yes he had played me from the start.

I didn't dare go back to school, I was sure everyone would have heard, and I was not going to become a statistic, so I decided to stay home, and mind my business, besides what do I need an education for, I'd rather stay home, because there is no rising from this, there is no happy ending to this story, this is the simple ending, I was a victim if a sexual predator, and I let him into my life period, and I take full responsibility for that, I was driven by greed and lack of morals, I allowed myself fall into an abyss, but well saying all this doesn't change anything, it's a memory I will have to live with for the rest of my life, well not a memory, because I look at myself in the mirror everyday, who would want to see a nude picture of a woman with one breast, one eye, and a stub.

Well now you know why I spoke up, I hope she realizes and leaves him as quickly as she can, and if this ever gets published, these things happen, I am a victim, I won't take gruesome pictures to prove anything, you can choose to believe me or not, it's your choice, and I hope you make the right one.

I left chinwe that day, with cold hands, if I hadn't seen her face to face, I wouldn't have believed it myself, personally I have been torn either to publish this or not, but I have decided to publish it, because with the rise of social media atrocities being committed, every story can go a long way in saving a life, so while you read, share and help someone back to the right path, these internet predators are real.

This story is a pure work of fiction, any similarities in names, dates and events and purely coincidental.

By- The1 Priest