₦airaland Forum

Onegai:
You're very egotistical

which is sadly common with Edo and Delta men

See, all this one will do you no good.

Yes, you can sue for Adultery but you don't know who the owner of the pregnancy is and the court will not compel her to say his name. All you can do is add Adultery as the reason you're dissolving the marriage.

Seriously, please go and work on yourself. Your marriage ended on flimsy reasons, you're going to hurt your children in the future with this mentality. Forgive her, move on and bear no grudges.

And kill this pride and ego of yours or it will one day destroy everything you love even more. Right now, that pride is helping you not feel pain but again, you're drinking poison hoping she dies. Her mother (whom you blame) has died, you're happy and you think God is supporting you? So when you start losing family members, maybe she will rejoice and say God is supporting her. Foolishness

Repent, my brother.

You be Bini or Esan bro?

Ps: I don't have pride but I am not expected to be angry over words from a stranger.

You cannot know me and my capabilities by living with me for years let alone over a scanty online conversation. I'm not an open book.

fyneboi79:
I understand everything you are going through because I've been there before. But I must advise you against bitterness...just face squarely the welfare of your kids,ignore reporting whatever she did to break the marriage and watch her crumble. Her aim is to make your act irrationally by her constantly frustrating you..just keep calm and watch time vindicate you. Best of luck my brother.

Hmmmm....

WantsandMore:
Forgive and forget. Let it go. This need to cause more pain to what she's already feeling is not from a place of love, if you ask, even she may not admit it, she's suffered enough, she's seen, the grass is not always greener, show some compassion even if she's not worth it. Infact show compassion and mercy to people who may not show thesame to you. That way, our Father in heaven can look at you with same mercy and compassion. Now, I'm not saying you're obliged to be manipulated, just let everything go, take your kids, give them a nourished up bringing in the fear of God, you owe them that much, take charge of your own life, who knows, those kids may get a better step mom if you so wish but you have to be kind and forgiving. Do all the legal stuffs that seperate you from her because Adultery is infact the only biblical reason for divorce according to Christ Jesus.

I was doing all this and beginning to think I was over thinking stuffs that may not have existed and boom she's pregnant not even up to a year after.

... So I wasn't stupid after all! ... It was a master plan by her grandplanner "her mom" who my ancestors wasted no time sending to the great beyond.

... They have left my mate for me and I'm sorry to brag about this openly but she must feel something, her greatest luck is am not fetish even tho I have being offered this path but I declined.

My D7 Governor

Truth is bitter but I agree with you, the opposition is too disunited to cause an upset in 2027.

To unseat power is not a 365days work!

Beautiful sport ruined!

fyneboi79:
don't waste your time and money in filing any suit against her unless you want her back...let the new man keep her na small time she go repeat the circle on him.thats the best revenge.

Even with a million dollars attached to her I would never ever take her back or watch my enemy go close to that family in name of marriage.

Even tho a background has already being set first by her mother and now secondly her, I'm worried sick for my daughters experiences while living with them "for now".

I always suspected someone came into her life but I had no proof because the sudden disappearances from her matrimonial home was odd, she wanted to frustrate me into giving up on her, she applied more frustration until what happened happened and she cemented her decision so easily that nothing or no one could make her think otherwise.

Call me a witch but like I said and I say it again,"I'll not be made to look stupid on my father's ancestral land".

The first blow has being struck without me batting a lid

The second will be mine!

Russia will be reduced to the K in Knife.

Foodqueen:
Don't sue her for anything, time will tell.

Move on too.

She will be back, maybe not now, but someday she definitely will.

We've seen this script play out a lot of times and it's always the same ending.

I already made up my mind to sue but for what is what I dunno!
But I'll activate my lawyers and I'll brief this house.
I'll not be made to look stupid, she's too tiny!

Pootle:
bro move on, you said your life is better now why dragging yourself to the mud or you obsessed with her

This topic isn't a moving on topic, is it?
Why can't you just be constructive around the topic question or better still keep your null_opininion to yourself

Kobojunkie:
She has moved on, but you haven't. You need to work on and focus on you.

👍🏻

Mariangeles:
After reading your story, all I can tell you is, don't put yourself in a position for her to keep torturing you mentally/emotionally.
Don't make yourself easily accessible.
Take yourself away from that situation for now.

I haven't set eyes on her since August last year.
I received the pregnancy information from my 5year old daughter.
I don't hate marriage but I am against marriage right now.
*A friend invited me for his wedding, I told him to his face, I won't come and you're better of investing this money than what you about to do now*
Long story short: I cannot trade what I have now with anything right now, nothing!
I have moved on from her Long Ago....I can't trade what I have now for ....

Kobojunkie:
Huh? The fact that the money was returned to you is established even by you. You have only one marriage with this woman, which you entered into by way of the traditional payment of dowry, and that one marriage is also registered in the courts. That marriage ended the moment the bride price which was paid was refunded to you, irrespective of how it was refunded.

All the woman needs to do is present the proof of returned bride price to the courts to have the marriage registry updated on the divorce. So long as they have proof that they did in fact send you back your money, you shouldn't be able to do anything else about it.

Ok, thanks fo your contribution

Onegai:
No to Bigamy

Yes to Adultery and you can sue the man, if you know his identity. The proof of her Adultery is growing inside her, unless you somehow hooked up with her this year and there's a chance it's yours.

I'm so sorry this happened. Divorce is hard.

Best to focus on healing yourself and I mean this, don't jump into another relationship just yet. Work on yourself, just enjoy the innocent pleasures of Life (good food, music, tv shows, outings).

Speak to a lawyer and draft a Child Support and Custody Agreement. That doesn't mean you should take the kids from her as punishment, think of what is best for the children. They're young, no Judge will grant them to you unless you can prove she's unfit and their environment is unsafe. And if she's taking care of the kids, leave them there for now.

Visit them often, provide for them, take them for holidays with you.

Forgive her. Holding onto unforgiviness is like drinking poison expecting her to die from it.

Be honest with yourself about the ways you need to improve

One can sue for adultery? Anyway I intend to see a lawyer but NL is my go-to first consultants

Thanks you've spoken nicely.
I am a core Edoman ... I don't hide it when I say my ancestors already struck the first blow.
The next one is going to be mine! Otherwise I have so long gotten over her but ...

Kobojunkie:
The father sent the dowry back to you, and you then returned it. Why? Usually, the moment the father of the bride returns the dowry, that means the marriage is over and done with; you sending it back to him makes no sense nor changes that. Na freebie you give them be that.

Silver and Gold I may not have but my dignity is intact, as an Edoman that's a taboo.
I did not pay the dowry via opay.

Please I need your inputs here

https://www.nairaland.com/8687719/marriage-ended-shes-pregnant-6

The Genesis of the whole separation is here
https://www.nairaland.com/8617961/slap-marriage-ended-what-should

So it was a few days to our 2nd year anniversary when I returned her to her parents on her request after destroying our marriage wall photo!

This was exactly feb 2025 last year.

August 2025 last year I had an outing with she and the kids at a popular eatery, she looked perfectly normal, no sign of anything infact she looked malnourished.

May 2026 and she's at least 3/4 months pregnant .

It's important to note, my diary is still on her head, she has pressure her father into returning it infact I received an alert to that effect from her father but I returned it, She has threatened me with pregnancy from another man before I'll do the needful but I insisted there must be same gathering as at when I came to pay her dowry and her family is yet to get back to me on that.
We are legally married by the state registry, it's not even up to a year, she's pregnant and we are not even legally or traditionally divorced.

I'm not angry but I feel stupid because before our separation it was repeated request to go to her mom's for days weeks and one time almost a month, almost like she wanted me to give up on her, one time she was planning to change my daughter's school to one close to her mom's almost like saying, "I want to live at my mom's permanently" ...so I feel angry that she may have already being in contact with another man hence she started to act weird and was so easy for her to be stubborn about returning home


... My purpose of this write up is just one ideology because I feel like a winner already lately. Life has being so different and easy for me. In marriage, I was never happy, I walked around with a HELP sign on my forehead the whole time, I was ashamed to ask her for assistance because when she did it would be broadcasted on CNN, resounding responsibility and a daily reminder living with you everyday. The responsibility still remain but it's different this time, xo different because the 50/50 that could have saved my sanity and possibly our marriage is exactly what we are doing now in seperation.

So my main purpose is a question of legality!...
Can I make her feel some extra heat by filing a suit in court for bigamy ? or any terms or ideas 💡


Cc: RoyalRoy, Seun

🤦🏻
Kenyan again
🤦🏻
Always on the news globally for weirdest happenings.
🤦🏻
Last week it was the Russian wildP on rampage today is this

You'll wake up one morning and discover you only have one leg left


Kwantinu

Never ever go close to a girl from a poor, broken home and with a lot or only female siblings.



Run 🏃🏻🏃🏻🏃🏻🏃🏻🏃🏻🏃🏻🏃🏻

jaksmillioniar:
ar u saying one cant make mistake u act as if u are perfect can u sware dat ur hubby neva slap u once since u marry

Those types of women na Dem their mouth be sword ⚔️ 😂😂😂😂

Thank you all for your kind contributions.

I don't know if anyone has ever accepted a wife back after 12 months outside the marriage home.

The purpose of my write up was to create awareness of my marital background and most importantly weigh in on replies consign if or not to attend the funeral or support financially but a lot of you have digressed, which is typical of many Nigerians.

The woman some of you are clamouring for her reconcilation replied me with a video and a comment yesterday on Whatsapp

Xo I made a written post on my status, saying lads should not kill themselves on trying to please a lady with gifts because exactly this time last year, I used my last card to do a surprise gift for a certain she on Valentine's, that same week she rub me pepper 🫑🌶️ 4 eye"

She saw the post and sent me a message.
In her words,"na mumu go kill U"
Then a once veiw video which I never opened, I deleted it asap
Then another message, a better man did more".

The video obviously is a valentine gift from her new man 😅😂 but like I said I didn't open I deleted it and replied

"Who are you please?
Do I know you?

And no reply 😂😂😂😂

So pls niggas...na who wear shoe nowhere they pain am.
My question was simple!
Knowing what you all know now of a certain Mil and Daughter.
Should I support financially or attend physically?

Thanks all.... discussion continue

Rufai don use e mouth put e legs for trouble

Q

Neddstark:
That ideal marriage you yearn for will never be achieved with the kind of woman you married.
Find a way to always be in the life of your children i.e via paying their fees and insist they come spend time with you.
Trying to make a woman who doesn't love you your wife again would make you more depressed. Thay you will consider suicide a solution. Find another wife, move on.

Yes oh....

Arsenal arsenal arsenal



... A tiger never changes its stripes that's all I've to say

brodalikeme:
I understand you bro. But how do you see yourself? Act the way you see yourself. That is the closest circumstance within your control. Your explanation is giving more credence to the fact that you played into their hands. Imagine if you had gone behind their back to honour the father like a son in law should when his daughter gave birth for you. He would have been your strongest ally now. Instead you were driving past his house in despise. See the same way you treated the man is how you're been treated now.
People will open up and vulnerable to sensible and responsible individuals They will be confess and admit their wrong doing without you pushing for it.
You've not heard everything yet. Get your head straight act with maturity. Remember you have kids with this family The relationship is an irreversible one.

If anyone told me I'll ever get married before 35s I would call such person a false prophet.
Everything happened fast.
She accepted who she met me as but could not live with who I became in a few years.
I'm not poor but I'm not rich, I lack money management.

I've seen worse families with a submissive wife. I mean worse even using some of our physical neighbors or my tenants as preferences.

Xo...

Pootle:
your wife lift you long ago before the slap, her mothers place was just an avenue to go visit whoever.

and for the funeral dont go, the dead did not even made peace with you same with the daughter

Uve spoken well.
I have halfway concluded I'll be visiting the father and offering him support financially even tho I know he won't be at the funeral either.
I can offer more but I will be offering what I can loose that I won't feel pained about for a woman of such.

angelboy01:
Baba first of all go and check my profile. My story hit first page how my ex left me, even bloggers carried it. Abeg free that woman, dem no tie una oblical cord together. You were happy before she came but I understand you are more sad cos of your kid. Best thing is to go to court. That's what I did, you will pay an amount monthly and you will have shared custody. As long as the kids are yours you are good. Just forget the woman .

I would visit your profile now.
But do you mind telling me more about the shared custody thing.
Can I have a contact ?

Respect they say is reciprocal.
There's so much weirds to say about my marriage, so much!
In my tradition, after the tradition marriage the brides family will bring the bride to her husband's house bearing gifts along.
My own case, na me use moto carry my wife go hase.
My MiL never dash me 1naira once, if all the times my wife was in her home for weeks ( a true MiL will call the daughters husband to be in the know or even send the daughter away with food stuffs or money but No she accommodated her.
I will use my car to pack what a trailer should have packed when she was changing apartments.
She came to my home during my sons omugwo ( saw a center rug in my lobby area and requested she should take it to her home instead of us using it as a foot mat lol, my wife was the middleman and I told my wife, you know my kids sit on that rug to watch their TV shows and MiL don't worry I get those aboki children foam I can swap it will), me mumu man says OK.
Then it was my wardrobe when I was moving out to a rented apartment, I didn't need it because the new rentals has inbuilt wardrobe, once again my middleman wife comes with the request and I declined this time and said I'll leave it for the incoming tenants.

This woman has never used her legs to come to my home to even greet her grandkids unless during omogwu.
As for the FiL....he doesn't even know my house till date.


Omor I Marry!

angelboy01:
You still be pikin, no worry when you marry you go understand. Someone said he spanked his wife and you are saying you will pack out. Women are like kids they need spanking once in a while. So spanking your woman is an offense for moving out of your home?

... Because I've seen worse and the woman go still dey beg make she go back to her husband.
It's the genz madness, it should not come as a surprise.
that a woman I paid full duty on, will tell me she's waiting for her mother's permission before she returns home, when her father whose still alive has accepted her to go back to her husband's but she refused insisting on a group apology to her mother shows the family has no regard for men. So my treatment wasn't surprising!

teeteepeejay:
Avoid people from broken homes una no go hear.

Na una two cup of tea be that

That's the foundation of it all.
Her cousin sister is a baby mama and is making some worth of money selling phones.
Her mother showed A1 independent woman.
Her best friend don't sleep in her husband's house ( excuse too distant from town)
Her eldest sis is in Spain and dancing like she's richer than tiwa savage online
Meanwhile pop lives in a rented apartment with faded paints and leaking roofings.
She has 4younger siblings who I never supported financially.
Her mom's rent is always a topic but I never turn up.

....so the signs were there, I didn't ignore them, I tried to blind her from it but ...