₦airaland Forum

Ikaeniyan0:
It's a lie, Ebonyi is filled with billionaires

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before joining me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial support to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

Uchesis:
But marriage is a scam naa. Jesus Christ knew this thats why he didn't marry...

PDPdestroyer:
Targeted at Igbos 😢

Wizardslayer:
Definitely there was mole a inside that bank that aided the success of the robbery.

Corruption is too much in Africa.

With a white government in south Africa that robbery won't succeed.

emmabest2000:
Adefraud


E shock you ?

Reality3080:
I am a married man, if my wife starts denying me sex or weaponising it.

Na to find one small girl wey I go Dey empty my balls into steady n still b that good man at home.

We go just Dey look ourselves for house n life goes smoothly, na she go beg me last last

ScamHunter:
I still don't understand this cousin sister term. How could someone be your cousin and sister rolled into one?