₦airaland Forum

Demosalesman:
sorry guys. i got a publisher. so cant share anymore until the book is done. thanks. you have been a good audience.

That's a good thing to be honest ; getting a publisher and monetising your work , it was a pleasure reading the chapters you posted, it's quite possibly the only -locallythemed book- I've read (asides chinua Achebe's "Things fall apart" ) that makes use of local language and culture in a brilliant manner.
World building is excellent,no unnecessary info-dump,also the use of perfect diction void of annoying grammatical errors unlike most shitty stories I've had the displeasure of reading on nairaland is commendable.
There is literally nothing I can think of that should be criticised. Do drop a link whenever you get it published,cheers and good luck.

The body arnour is something like this

Your boosters,i waited for the bay doors to open and jumped immediately.Using my boosters to slow down my descent,i landed in front of a small building close to the warehouse where the minister is reportedly held,seconds later,the others landed and took out their guns immediately, "okay people we would be going in guns blazing,we have been discovered already and the stealth plan is now useless,move out and delta two,take point".
I watched as a terrified oloba took point and led the team towards the building, i had to choose him as he was always the top scorer in urban setting battle simulations, " contact" he shouted seconds later and shot with his SMG at a couple of individuals wielding surprisingly marine corps standard issue guns,in less than a second after he shouted,i entered battle mode and immediately took aim and fired at the one closest to us,less than ten seconds our first gunfight was over with all 5 of the M.I.U guys dead,after searching their body for anything that might be important and finding nothing we continued on our path to the warehouse,taking a loose formation with oloba at the front,ken behind him at his right side,samuel at his left also behind him and me at their backs, "you know its crazy how this whole place is deserted",the talkative sam started his hobby, " i heard Lagos is quite populated you know", "yeah but it was populated,i know u were on Mars before your base was attacked and u were brought back to earth but didn't u read up on your fuc***g location?" Ken replied immediately,
" Lagos is mostly a military center now with most of the commercial activities going on in new lagos,yes thats the name of the island part,you don't need to ask,most people are now in other cities u know,i heard Abeokuta is now a hotspot for tourists,Lagos just isn't the hotspot anymore,no one likes living in a city with military exercises taking place daily and rockets being tested daily".ken continued
"Thats enough men,focus on the mission" i said stern faced though they couldn't see my face with the helmet,we advanced quickly and were soon at the front of the building," ok prepare to breach" ken and sam stood at the sides of the door while oloba slammed the door open when i shouted "breach",i opened fire immediately,spotting about 3 people who seemed unaware of our presence until we burst the door open," take cover ",i shouted and managed to overturn a table while shooting at the enemy soldiers, they fell in seconds," ok if every battle is like this i think I'll love the job" ken said while laughing, "lets go,up the stairs,watch out,now they know we are coming" i ordered, we formed a tag infiltration with us lining up and the last person moving to the front and proceeding then stopping and getting replaced by the last person, this continued for a while,sam got to the front and started talking again,"you know,i think being a sentinel is actually easy we get a couple of cool mcpherson jobs,we're like that guy from that old movie i and daniel saw,james borf or bond or something like that,we're totally cool right now,we're fucking co....." Sam was shot right in the head by a person hiding at a corner "Take cover" i shouted and started shooting at the place where i thought the shot came from,"frag grenade" i shouted and threw a grenade at the position of the shooter,a boom later and we quickly approached the shooters spot and found him dead already, frag grenades were quite deadly,"move out" and leave private Sams body we'll come back for it on our way out", as sentinels we were all trained to put the mission over our emotions so nobody batted a eye at the body and we advanced immediately, this is where the real battle started

A beeping alarm coming from my helmet woke me up,i had set it to ring at 11:40 and i scrambled to wear it and rushed out to the airfield where a Typhoon troop transport plane stood waiting,the corporal and five other soldiers were there already,in less than a minute,the last one,Samuel came over and the corporal told us to board immediately "Alright people lets go" we boarded the ttp and in seconds we were airborne,"well as i am sure u all know this is a race against time as we want the minister alive,nothing less,the rules of engagement are simple,kill anybody that isn't the minister,top priority is getting him out alive,i will be going by the designation delta actual one,with the PFC here being delta actual 2,private oloba is actual 3,private sam actual 4,ken actual 5....." I tuned out of the corporal's words and started thinking about the chances of me surviving,"weapons check people" the corporal shouted over the din of the engines and wore his helmet,i realised i was the only one putting it on,others put theirs on immediately and conducted a radio check,"this is actual one to delta team,how copy?" "Good copy sir" everyone responded over the comms "sir we are approaching our Lz(landing zone)" the young pilot shouted through the comms a couple of minutes later,"f**k sir,i am reading multiple SAMs (surface to air missiles) headed for us" the pilot shouted seconds later,"evasive manners,deploy the flares" thousands of orders kept spilling out of the corporal's mouth,the explosions caused by the
missiles hitting the flares kept on shaking the ttp,suddenly we heard a big bang(no pun intended)and the fuselage close to the corporal exploded and the plane started shaking,"sir two of the SAMs hit us,one blew through our engines and the other exploded on the body of the plane,no actual damage taken but we are losing altitude fast" the pilot shouted but received no reply "sir,sir he shouted again",turning to my left i saw one of the most gory scenes,the corporal had been hit by pieces of shrapnel from the body of the plane and was mutilated badly and was definitely dead,so also the three soldiers beside him,only ken,Samuel and oloba were unscathed," Bleep,the corporal is dead,i shouted over the comms to the pilot" "this is Delta actual two to Top dog how copy?" I said to the base "good copy delta two,we heard shouts over the comms,what's the problem?"," this is delta two and delta one,3,7,6 are KIA(killed in action), i repeat they are KIA","ok Delta two we read you,please proceed with the mission if possible " "ok top dog" i replied,"weeeee,weee,weeee" the klaxons in the plane started wailing as the pilot said " you will have to jump,we can't risk a landing"
"Ok,delta 4,5,8 please adopt a code change,i shall take command as the highest ranking soldier and be delta one,please change your codes accordingly" the other guys looked terrified,i could not blame them,it was their first real mission after all and seeing 4 dead men already just didn't help "okay on me,jump and use

Skylard101:
grabs my popcorn and gegely walk to the front seat.... no disturbance or obstruction. ... seats down like maharaja.
New age nice story...... ehm but bros I fear ooo 3018 hmmm hmmm

thanks for being the first to drop a comment, please tell me what you think of it currently

please drop a few comments about this and what u think of it,its my first novel and I'll love any and all feedback

than the best,head to the armoury to pick up your designated battle suits and guns,you have clearance for the sentinel battle suit ||,we head out at 1200,dismissed" I stood up and gave a salute to the corporal and walked out with the other squad members"hey man whatsup,can't believe we're heading out so soon,my head still hurts from the drinks" the talkative of the barracks,samuel said as soon as we were out of the cc "baba na crazy sturv oh" oloba another squad member i was familiar with chipped in,other members of the squad who i was not familiar with but knew at basic training chipped in,we walked down to the armoury to grab our gear,after suiting up with the help of attendants at the armoury,the armour system booted up and a priority message blinked in the HUD,even though it's called a battle suit it's more like the armour of the Spartans in the ancient classic game from the 21st century "Halo" made by the now defunct Microsoft,reading through the message it was a more elaborate explanation of what we were expected to do,i walked back to the barracks and decided to sleep a little to calm myself down,I was feeling anxious about the battle ahead already,removing the helmet which disengaged with a soft hiss,i slept

I walked in,the cc is always an hubbub of activities and noise,quickly running up the stairs,i knocked at the door of conference room 7 where my briefing is to take place,"yes come in" was the voice i heard,quickly i walked in and closed the door, you do not want to keep a senior officer waiting, "private first class Timi reporting for duty sir" i shouted and saluted at the same time,"at ease soldier" the man in front of me said,with him were six other soldiers who were seated,"take a seat"the man who i identified to be a corporal from his insignia said,
"i am corporal hassan and i have been instructed to brief you all on your first mission,successful completion will see everyone of you being recognized as official sentinel soldiers and being promoted to lance corporals",he stood up and climbed the small podium"please be advised that this is still confidential information,at 1400 hours yesterday,the minister of intergalactic relations was attacked and subsequently abducted by a group of persons who are believed to be people sympathetic to the M.I.U,as at now the top brass have decided to attempt a recovery mission, we have been able to determine a couple of locations where the minister might be held,you are part of strike team delta and will raid the third possible location of these terrorists,details pertaining to these mission will be transmitted to your personal battle suits,i shall act as squad leader during this mission and i expect nothing less

Prologue
"In the year 3018,the earth became united as one,all nations except Russia which made up the eastern bloc and north Korea became one sovereign power,all countries formed up the United nations council which made decisions for the whole planet. Humanity had advanced to the stars with fully established cities in mars and thousands of space stations and mining outposts,years later humans on the outposts of mars declared themselves free from U.N.C and declared themselves a free planet.They called themselves the Martian intergalactic union and thousands of other space stations feeling stifled by U.N.C influence joined the M.I.U. A month later U.N.C declared war on mars.
" An insight into the third world war"-U.N.C intelligence
Chapter 1-New beginnings
Nigeria
New Lagos
melaye barracks Bleep
I stifled a groan as i woke up,the events of the former night crashing into memory,last night was my unofficial "induction" ceremony into "sentinel",a branch of U.N.C army created solely for high profile tasks which normal soldiers can't handle,trying to get a grip of the bed handles,i stood and walked towards the bathroom to clean up,done with this i wore the standard military issue suit,more of a jumpsuit and headed straight for the command center,yesterday before partying with other taskforce members i was told to report to the Cc at 10:00 hours,luckily i was just in time,throwing a quick salute to the two soldiers guarding the door

hey everyone im starting something new,it's a scifi/war novel and i hope everyone likes it feel free to criticize it,thank you