TIPS ON HOW TO REMAIN POOR

1 Never wake up early: Keep stretching and turning in bed until you get too hungry to continue dozing. If there are no bed bugs, why hurry to get up?

2 Never plan how to spend your money: Whenever you get money, start spending it right away and when it's finished, you try to count and recall how you spent it.

3 Don't think of saving until you have real big money: How can you save when you earn so little? Those telling you to save are not sympathetic to your burning needs.

4 Don't engage in activities usually reserved for the b"uneducated: How can you, a graduate, engage in petty trade, network marketing or home-based production? That's for people who never went to school!

5 Don't think of starting a business until an angel comes from heaven and gives you capital: How do they expect you to invest before you get millions? Even though more than half the businesses in your town were started with little capital, you as a smart person can only start with millions.

6 Complain about everything except your own attitude and laziness: Blame the system, the government and the banks that refused to lend you money. They are all bad and do not want you to get rich.

7 Spend more than you earn: To achieve this, buy consumer products on credit and keep borrowing from friends and employers.

8 Compete in dressing: Make sure you're wearing the latest clothes. Intimidate the congregation with your trendy fashions every Sunday. Whenever your neighbour buys a new phone, you get one that is more expensive.

9 Get yourself a nice second hand car: that costs more than three times your yearly salary.

10 Give your children everything they ask for since you're such a loving parent: They should not struggle for anything because you do not want them to suffer that way, they will grow up lazy and hence poor enough to ensure they can't help you at old age.
11 Be proud and always argue with people who have gone ahead of you in any business instead of learning.
12 Never be willing to learn new things.
13 Make sure you never pray to God.
14 Do everything yourself and never seek advice.
15 Never practice what you learn.
16 Never read books.
17 Be closed minded.
18 always cheat those who do business with you.
19 Be a very good liar.
20 Never set goals and accomplish them.

Follow these tips and enjoy Poverty on earth.




Lalasticala

Just for fun ooiiiii

Got this letter early this morning, I guess it’s from a frustrated UTME candidate.

By: Terhemen Kwaghmande

Dear JAMB,Much as I’ll like to appreciate your efforts in making sure that Admission into Tertiary Institutions in Nigeria is done equitably, I will also not hesitate to be critical, should need arises. You can fool everyone if you like, you might have fooled me before, but you would never fool me again.

YOU RESTRICTED CYBER CAFÉS FROM PARTICIPATING IN THE 2017 JAMB UTME REGISTRATION EXERCISE.

Your reason is that: Cyber Cafes do exploit Candidates. Fine and good. But let me tell you,the only reason while you continue to pull the wool over our gullible eyes is because the Citizens rights’ protection agencies are either in the vegetative state, or completely dead.How can you explain a situation where you would tell 2 million Candidates to register their JAMB UTME 2017 and capture the necessary bio-metric, in only 600 centers across the Country in just 30 days, with such a cheap EXPLANATION?

It beats my imagination and it defies not just logic, but also philosophy.
Since 20th March, 2017 your so called CBT accredited Centers plus the Jamb State Zonal offices which you claim are the only Registration Centers for Jamb 2017 have done absolutely nothing! They are rather accumulating Battalion of intending candidates. It may interest you to know that, some of your so called accredited centers that you deemed fit to handle 2 million Nigerians in 30 days have already started exploiting them! How can you explain the situation whereby;

1. Those registering candidates will come from nowhere and handpick from behind anybody they like (mostly relatives and Girlfriends) on a queue that is neatly formed? Isn’t that exploitation?

2. What of the situation whereby; anytime there is power failure those CBT boys will ask everybody to go home and come back the next day, knowing too well that most people have come from afar? Isn’t that exploitation?

3. I find difficult to understand why you separate Profile creation from Registration which to me are the same. But instead you compel candidates to pre-register their personal information on the Jamb portal, at their own expense and yet you dubiously place a CBT service Charge of N700. Isn’t that exploitation?

4. Your myopic and or dubious decision to compel candidates especially those in the rural areas to travel to CBT centers in order to Register for 2017 Jamb during this hardship is surely the specimen of exploitation. Isn’t it?

5. Let me remind you that, we are in the 21st Century, the internet has eliminated fares and queues even in the banks, through e-banking. I was expecting Jamb to introduce e-payment through web just as most institutions in Nigeria are doing. But what have you done? Instead your retrogressive process has only succeeded in taking us back as far as 19th Century. Isn’t that exploitation?

6. Your idea of depriving Cyber Cafés Business opportunity has done more harm than good to our economy especially now that we are experiencing economic recession. You instead selfishly and logically contracted CBT center owners to do the job for you. Isn’t that exploitation?

7. Now come to think of it, whoever is behind this gruesome decision; how would you feel in the midst of 3000 people at a time, on a queue, under this scorching sun. (just because Jamb selfishly limits candidate’s registration points or units). Isn’t that exploitation?

Sometimes I wonder if you were drunk when you were taking this gibberish decision. You probably must have done this for your own selfish interest, not for the reasons you first gave, which to me lacks merits, and its beyond ridicule. I have always respected Jamb because apart from being decisive in one’s Tertiary institutions admission process, to some extent, they do save candidates ass from some of those corrupt varsities. when President Buhari sacked the whole Jamb board and appointed a new one, I was very excited hoping that this new board will make things easy for Nigerians especially the registration process. I was dreaming of a process where one can register his/her jamb even in their bedroom. But instead they worsen the situation. What the hell? Don’t your Candidates mean anything to you?

Doesn’t it bother you that Nigerians who are now in recession have to Travel far and wide at their own expense just to do the Jamb reg. that could have been done even in their homes? You claim to have protected the interest of candidates, if that is the case why didn’t you collect N2500 as reg. fee? You collected a whooping N5500 even now that every process in the Jamb circle is computerized, no printing cost, no luggage fee for moving jamb papers here and there, no marking allowance! But yet you fail to protect candidates in this regard.

I really don’t blame you. If Nigerians had protested your devious, exploitative, heartless, opportunistic and fraudulent pronouncement, you wouldn’t be here making them queue desperately like migrants.

What’s to say that there wouldn’t be another hilarious failure during the CBT exams like last year, since you guys obviously don’t know what you are doing? You deserve to be sued for every fraudulent Mistake you’ve ever made that has affected candidates scores and stampedes their admission pursuit. Your evil dream of making money from poor Nigerians every year will forever remain a demented hallucination. I will not tolerate your recklessness any longer. Please.

Lala

Is it rude to pick up short guys, when you hug them

Is it rude to pick up short guys, when you hug them

I have searched all over the internet, and yet could not find any useful information. please someone who has knowledge on this should help out as soon as possible.


Lalasticala front page pls

9. Folake Akindele-Coker

Fashion designer and beautiful daughter of Ibadan billionaire, Chief Akindele, Folake Coker, is a qualified lawyer with a Master degree in Petroleum Law.

Folake Coker, the brains behind Tiffany Amber quickly recognised her passion for fashion and traded her wig and gown for scissors and tapes establishing her luxury line Tiffany Amber as far

10. Ebuka Obi-Uchendu

TV personality, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu has been a force to reckon with in the entertainment industry.

After obtaining a Law degree from the University of Abuja, Ebuka came into public consciousness as contestant on the reality television show Big Brother Nigeria in 2006.

Ebuka has never left the public glare since then.

Ebuka does not only have a degree in Law, he also has a Master degree in i

11. Kemi Adetiba

Kemi started her romance with the entertainment industry as a Law undergraduate when she was working as an On-Air-Personality on Rythym 93.7.

After discovering her interest in entertainment, TV host and musical video director, Kemi Adetiba, went on to study Film Making in New York Film Academy.

Kemi is the brain behind several great music videos.

12. Kelechi Amadi-Obi

Celebrity photographer, Kelechi Amadi-Obi is a qualified Lawyer from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.

He was called to bar in 1993 and set up his studio shortly afterwards.

He is the publisher of Mania Magazine.

13. Funke Akindele

For her first it was Mass Communication, a course she abandoned after obtaining an Ordinary National Diploma in it from the Moshood Abiola Polytechnics, Ogun state.

She later went to University of Lagos to study Law but before she was done in the university, entertainment has eaten deep into her.

Her first appearance on television drama was in ‘I Need to Know’ as a teenager.

After graduation, Funke Akindele never tried going to the Law School as she knew what she wanted to be before graduation.

14. Tara Durotoye

She is the boss of House of Tara, a make-up business.

Tara started her make-up business while in the Lagos State University studying Law.

Tara never practiced Law but she has said that her knowledge of Law has helped her to manage her make-up and beauty business.

Actor, film producer and a proprietor of a school of art in Ibadan, Femi was born to an actor father, Otunba Adebayo Salami so for him, acting runs in his vein.

But Femi did not rise to the peak of his acting career until in the 2000s.

Even though Femi studied law from the University of Ilorin, Kwara and later got Master of Arts (MA) Degree in Theatre Art, he had started acting before he went to the university.

After graduation Femi practiced law for some years specializing in estate and property law before acting got a better part of him.

Femi is a toast of movie producers in the Yoruba movie genre.

15. Femi Adebayo

Veteran Nollywood actor popularly referred to as RMD had his first degree in Theatre Arts from the University of Benin.

After making an indelible impact in the make believe industry as an actor, RMD went back to the University of Lagos in 1997 to earn a degree in Law to fulfil his mother’s life long wish for her son to be a Lawyer.

He was subsequently called to the Nigerian Bar.

Veteran Nollywood actor popularly referred to as RMD had his first degree in Theatre Arts from the University of Benin.

After making an indelible impact in the make believe industry as an actor, RMD went back to the University of Lagos in 1997 to earn a degree in Law to fulfil his mother’s life long wish for her son to be a Lawyer.

He was subsequently called to the Nigerian Bar.

Education is an integral part of the human life and its importance cannot be overemphasized.

Here is a list of popular Nigerian celebrities you didn’t know studied law..

Check them out below:-

1.9m can it go?

finest82:
Am looking to buy a car next week. Please I need your experienced and professional suggestions.
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nissan murano

I will love to invest in it, but I need people opinions about it, most especially those who have participated in it

Pls people I want to know if helping hands international are real or scam....they are into network marketing
Thanks All for your contributions.

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