₦airaland Forum

Ogunbanwo.sarah@yahoo.com thanks

Linda Ikeji in the making, I sight you. Atleast the only thing a mature lady like you can think of being in a relationship is to have cheap sex, welldone

ConcNiggress56:
just carry your tecno t5wharever commot for here.. you think it is easy to be laid off a job and get another..

a girl's got needs.. and i am Ms independent. i dont want a man helping me in cash.. he's going to demand for kinds..


i have no bf coz it is their free ticket to getting cheap sex.

Read the good and ignore the bad, your brain is there to discern which is best for you

fr3do:
chai! See bad advice oh

I'm never ever gonna put my relationship issues online.

I dont agree to this, you probably dont understand her kind of person, poison bawo egbon

Sacluxpaint:
@op such a woman can poison you. She disobeys you and she is proud to apologize, then how can you say you are compatible? Make your observations known to her parents, if it continues, lastly not to sound religious, but put this situation in prayers.

He should let issue regarding his health or emotional well being slide, you try well well.

nomanicole:
You seem perfect MR, ur wife may not be complaining because she knows what marriage is about, tolerance, sacrifice and communication, sometimes its good to ket a lot of things slide, every day talkie talkie no dey tire you? U really nag a lot, u are responding more than u should read ehat people are saying, esp hoosing the ones u prefer or you feel are on your side, if ur wife compared the size of ur private part to an ex, im sure she will go home that day, you had the nerve to go to ur friend's house, to ask the wife to cook for you when both or you shouldve lovingly googled and prepared it together. She must really be tolerating so much, you dont demand apology after enforcing your decision, im sure if she comes here to talk about you, we will feel sorry for her. In the end you will ruin a beautiful thing because you have a huge ego, truthfully you need to appreciate your wife, ask her what she wants before you make a decision, its a marriage not temporary contract, you just have to sit down and talk. About the MSc did you even ask her which school she wanted to go before you decided for her cos it was 3mins from your house? Haba mr perfect, like u have made us believe. Tell us ur bad parts and dont come here making people believe you married a stubborn unapologetic woman when all most of us have read is " you are a( i must have it my way) kind of man. You are the one with the issue. I know you wont agree with me cos i did not join to condemn ur wife.

Bringing to social media does not show immaturity ma, as the identity are hidden, just that phrase put off your idea

sambisa5:
Don't you think you are expecting so much from her?
We only heard your side,,we haven't listened to her yet....
And if you ask me, for even bringing your family affairs to social media is a lot of immaturity from you....
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What is killing marriages now is over expectation,,,spouses expecting too much from each other.,,some wives expect that their husbands musn't cheat on them,,,,so when they realize he is cheating, they feel the world should come to an end.
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I know a family whose dad, mom and the first child of the family are diebetic,,,,,you know what that means?,,,,,,they started having a pattern of cooking and eating in the house,,,,now these patterns weren't going well with those without the illness. Eating wheat with a particular kind of soup for a whole month became boring to some people and i tell you, it wasn't easy at all for them to adapt.,,,,
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it is really difficult to start adapting to something you were never used to.
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For that aspect of food, your wife could get many pots as possible,it means she will be cooking yours separately,becos it's obvious, she can't do away with that item, if it was, she wouldn't av bought it and then hid it.............
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To avoid hiding things as such, tell her to get a separate pot for you and another pot for herself and she is free to use the item in her pot only.
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For the apology aspect,,, i know it hurts especially when you are waiting for someone to tell you sorry and the sorry isn't coming...but then if it is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life, the earlier you accept it the better, otherwise, ur marriage will be in riun if care is not taken.
She may even be someone who doesn't see anything wrong with apologizing-there are people like that, it doesn't matter if you guys dated for 8yrs before marriage- the truth is you can never finish knowing someone.
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For example,
i have this habit of not greeting people becos of the way i was brought up.i see only mum and dad when i wake up, i greet the two of them and will have to greet again when i get to school, and greeting a teacher was a collective thing.,,,,so i was not used to greeting so many people in the morning, like someone who comes from a large family or live in a family house. And i grew with it
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Now when i grew up, and left home, i started having problems with it, people complain i don't greet. If i wake up in the morning and i see 20 people i have to greet, it is like the ground should open let me enter.- it bores me.
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AND OVER THE YEARS I GROW UP EVEN WITH A MENTALITY THAT GREETING IS NOT A BIG DEAL. I WILL NEVER BE UPSET IF 100 PEOPLE PASS BY ME WITHOUT GREETING ME, AND SO I EXPECT THEY SHOULDN'T GET UPSET TOO IF I DON'T GREET THEM.
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now many people interpreted this as pride, ego etc.
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When i got married it became a very big issue. My husband loves greeting people, cos he grow up in a large family where you greet about 40 to 50 people when you wake up in the morning.
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He started forcing me to greet anybody i see, i started forcing myself to greet really, but even in my trying, i still fail most times,,,i could just pass you and not notice you,,,,maybe after walking abit far, it then occurs to me i didn't greet that fellow and i will start feeling so sorry again.
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But when my husband realizes i wasn't doing it out of pride or ego, he learnt to live with it.,,,,,he does both his greetings and mine together,,,,and when people are complaining, he will be the one to explain things to them.
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So try understand ur wife, apologizing may not be anything to her. Perhaps, she had an upbringing where you don't need to apologize for anything, and she is used to it. It may not be ego or pride, it has just become a nature.

I am in no way close to getting married so I dont know if my opinion is valid here but I will give my piece because I think I am involved with a woman like this, and we have been together for 5years now. To start with sir, the last thing you want to is to involve a third party in your marriage, as a matter of fact never try to do such, no one I mean no single one will understand and get to the root of the situation, they will only blame a party and have the other apologize, thereby leaving the other party weak at heart. On the issue of not putting out her reservation before things get out of hand, sir Its not exactly her fault, she had lived her whole life taking those decisions like that, as a matter of fact people like that only feel pain when its happening, after that time they forget and let go very easily although they cry about it sometime in their closet. Now as her man, all you have to do is be proactive and take those steps for her if you can, believe me she wont be mad at you neither would it mean you bossy like some people who dont understand her person would say. On the issue of apology the main subject sir, holy shit most time she wont even do when she knows its wrong, I threaten my girlfriend before she apologises over some issue, but as we grow together I just overlook it knowing thats her (and sir I believe marriage is taking her for who she is) this also happens when I get her stuffs or get something done for her, I wont be surprised to know she doesnt appreciate or say thank you like every other person does, its just their way, most of these people are of the phlegmatic temperament class, just read on temperament to understand some of her trait. Now to the wife (since your man said you will get to view this thread), dont feel all relaxed thinking you cant be replaced or pushed to do things, you don't have to be selfish or live life like you still single, make your man happy, open apology is what people like him{a dominant choleric) needs, it makes us feel important, loved and appreciated. Just consider his happiness and marriage because I bet [color=#006600][/color]this might get out of hand for him someday if you continue this way. I wish you the best in your marriage.

mrk74:
I do feel that I’m a very lucky man to have a very compatible lady as my wife. We love each other so well and I strongly believe we were meant for each other. However, I have one issue. When she has issue with a suggestion, request or complain she may agree without stating or discussing her objections but will simply not take the suggestion. Sometimes she will out rightly disobey me. The result will be me complaining severally and eventually getting upset. We hardly have issues, but when we do it’s usually because of something like this. We had dated for about 3 years before marriage. We had no issue in our 1st two years. Not that there was no complain at all but we easily made adjustments to accommodate each other. But there were several instances of this kind of issues in our 3rd year and I was seriously bothered. We had a very serious misunderstanding still from this kind of issue few months before we got married. At a point I asked her if I’m difficult and she told me that I nag. It was very embarrassing but when I the dictionary definition of nagging again which states that “(of a person) constantly harassing someone to do something”, then I agreed that I did nag. Then I realized how easy a partner’s action/inaction could make the other to nag.

Just before we began the process towards marriage I had to extract commitments from her for us to avoid this kind of issues in the future. I had explained how we could have handled situations like this better and the fact that she shouldn’t make it a big deal to apologise and she agreed with me. We got married on 30th December 2015 and we have not had issues since then till few days ago. I told her to stop using an item for cooking due to the health challenge I have with the item when it much in the food. I had previously asked for her to avoid putting too much of it which she agreed but she will fail on about 2 out of 9 meals. It was when I realized she can’t moderate it appropriately I asked her to stop and add it when she eats. She agreed but still won’t stop. I then told her not to have the item in the house at all. She agreed but will still buy it and hide. Even though I had noticed the presence of the item on meals for a while but I got to find some that she had recently bought and hidden in a locker. When I confronted her on it she only argued and asked if I had noticed it being overused recently. Even when I pointed out how bad I felt about her disobeying me she will not see it as a big deal.

I’ve been cold with her for about 2 days now (We talk, but not with the typical high spirit when we are both happy). Yesterday she told me that I have been behaving abnormally and I have not told her what is wrong. Then I used the opportunity to remind her of how she has been disobeying me including that of another incident that I had just refused to be upset about. All she said was that she had agreed to stop which I’m not sure I remembered her saying so. But even if she did, how is it different from the previous instance she accepted but began to hide the item. I believe she should apologize for disobeying me but this is something that she won’t do. As far as she is concerned, she had told me she will stop and expects us to move on and there is nothing to be addressed any further.

Fellow nairalanders, what do you think about this? Is an apology for disobeying me out of place?

We had agreed before marriage not to take our issues to friends or family which I strongly uphold. But at this point, I think we should get opinion of a 3rd party hopefully we can get an objective view on this and either of us can have make necessary adjustment for us to avoid this in the future. She reads selected items that lalasticlala pushes to the front page and I hope she gets to read this too. She will definitely know it’s about us. If I don’t hear her mention seeing it on nairaland, I will deliberately lead her to the thread.

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I notice some comments are being directed on the food incidence as if that really is the issue. Please the issue has not always been about food. It's just these last issues that have been about food. There had been an issue with her using bleaching creams, one about her refusing to apply for a sponsorship of her project by an International organization which I pushed for mainly because of the exposure she could get. There had been one about applying for her MSc in a nearby University. Except for the bleaching that she just didn't seem to believe the level of risk involved with the bleaching creams the others she simply won't express her reservation or make objections but just won't act till it becomes annoying then you will know she was not comfortable with it. Meanwhile she had given the impression that she is act or was acting on it. Till date she still regrets where she is having her about to be concluded MSc which could have been avoided if she had opened up on time about her reservation on where I had initially suggested.

The issue is actually more about her not expressing her reservation on a matter and not apologizing when she realizes that she didn't do well. Instead of showing remorse she will simply say we should move on sometimes without even wanting to address the issue.

For those who think I'm controlling. I do let her make her decisions. But I do wish she can share her objections where I make suggestions that she is not comfortable with. When I asked her to get registered for her MSc I had asked her to do so in the Federal University that is about 3mins drive from our house. But that is where she had a BSc and she was not comfortable going there for her MSc. But instead of opening up on her reservation she was just lazy about getting the form and was making enquiry about it from wrong sources till I lost my patience and insisted she go by herself. The school is very close but she didn't even need to trek down. When she got there it was already late entry but I didn't mind. It was when she should have gone to pay that she now raised her reservation but initially hanged it on someone else opinion. I didn't insist. I even tried to assisted her in finding an alternative. But by this time it was only one school that still sold forms for MSc and that is where she is schooling now.

Ask what you dont know, ok?

uzoedinbrugh:
Absolutely NO.

Yes and as a matter of fact, thats what am doing now in University of Ibadan,

enshi:
My cousin holds HND distinction in engineering.. .
Pls is it possible for her to enroll for her Masters in any university pls people help us with useful info

It is finished!!!

IMASTEX:
Seriously, religion is becoming something else. I created this thread, so that I can just simply refer him here for your advise/opinion/comment. Because I am even angry with the whole thing. I equally heard of one particular church that will even ask for bank statement before approving to wed any couple, especially if the female is their member.

Please pardon my not revealing the name of the church and pastor. Want to leave that to the members to decide. However, The church is located in my state here in Edo State (Benin City).

Thanks always Staphanie, do I necessarilly have to complete the medicals before I can pay and get an hostel space? quote author=Stephanie08 post=43978459]

Nope cos you will have to do Xray and will be asked to come for d result d next day and you will need d result to see d doctor so at least two days
Until then you can be doing the eye test, urine test, height and weight, blood pressure etc.[/quote]

Good day fams., pls how long does the test at Jaja clinic takes? Is it what I can finish a day? Thanks

Ok I get that, thanks a bunch for the swift response always.

Stephanie08:
Matric number is given about one week after payment of school fees.
Keep checking ur registration portal and your mail

Thanks, God bless. How do I get a matric number? Do I have to register courses before I can get a matric number?

Stephanie08:
Its only when you get matric no that a hall will be allocated to you and make sure you click on the accomodation request page on your registration site.
Jaja clinic is inside UI.
Just ask any cab driver there.

hall allocation still says null, I dont have a matric number yet too, and I have paid the school fees which has being confirmed, anyone in the house that can help out?

I didnt see any hostel allocation, please where do I see that? and where is Jaja clinic abeg?

Stephanie08:
Just take along with you your accomodation request form printed online and take it to d warden of your stipulated hall and make sure youve started ur medical clearance process at JAJA CLINIC, UI cos it will b needed.
The last long I dont know but we are in Naija so anything is possible.
What hall where you given?

Good evening everyone, please for those that have applied for the hostel accomodation, what document do I need take along? Who am I taking it to? Where too? And finally can someone else help out? Thanks in anticipation great minds

Good day fam., does anyone know if the strike has been called off now?

Anyone in school this morning please is the strike still on?

Ok thanks
Hello tobi, just chill soon u will get the invite cos if u weren't called and u went, u might not be attended to.[/quote]

Please house, is it possible I go for my clearance without being scheduled? I have paid my acceptance fee since last week and it reflected almost immediately, and this is another week gone. Thinking of going on MONDAY scheduled or not so I continue with my registration

I really dont think this schoool would make sense at all, some are already processing their hostel stay while some are still hoping for recommendation from pg even after confirming from the department. So no one is proposing for Construction Project Management on thia forum? Kontinu o chaaiiii

Good day house, please is anyone aware of the tuition fees and when lecture resumes for Construction Project Management? I have paid my acceptance fee and it had being acknowledge but yet to be scheduled for clearance

Oluwajuwonlo1:
Dey said dis week. Keep checking ur mail for d recommendation.

Thanks for the info

OgbeniYK:
Why is Civil Engineering putting us in suspense like this? It's taking long fa!

tired before starting sincerely.