₦airaland Forum

If the disable can get us GOLD in on going Paralympics, why do we need an able president?? Pls Vote Yinka Ayefele for Nigeria President 2015__for Aspiration- Fulfilment-New dawn-Next LeveL , Nigeria Go Better............. Courtesy- Yinka Ayefele Campaign Org. Lolz

A Prostitute at a Police station to report a rape case.
Policeman: So when did you realise U were raped.
Prostitute: When the Cheque bounced.pls help me win dis case am begging u

Wife asked her husband to describe her.

Husband said, "you're A B C D E F GH I J K".

Wife asked, "what does that mean?"

The husband said," Adorable Beautiful Cute Delightful Elegant
Fairly Gorgeous and Hot"

She said, "oh, that's so lovely, what about I J K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding" ...
:-]

A nude guy (johnny) was
sun bathing at the beach.
A little girl comes to him, he covers his
private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl asks, ''Whats under
there?''
"A bird'', johnny replied.
The girl goes away and johnny later fell
asleep.
When he wakes up, he finds himself in
a hospital bed, and he was in a great
pain.
A doctor came up to his bed and asks,
''What happened?''
Johnny answerd, ''I don't know. I was
at the beach and fell asleep after
talking to a little girl''.
So the doctor tells this to the Police,
and they went to the beach to find any
witnesses. When they got there, they
saw the little girl Johnny talked about.
So they asked her if she saw anything
that happend to Johnny.
She answers, ''Just that when he was
sleeping, I played with his bird, After a
while, it spat at me,
so i got angry and broke its neck, burnt
its
nest, and smashed both its eggs" ...

A man bought some eggs n discovers der’s nothing inside, he went back to da shop to complain. they broke de eggs n all was found empty,they went to the poultry to complain.some chicken came out n started laughing n said :”look at them,they dnt knw we’ve started using condoms

A man checked into
a hotel. There was a computer
in his room, so he decided to
send a mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed
d wrong email address, and
without realizing he sent the
mail to a widow who has just
returned from her husband's
funeral. The widow decided to
check her mail, expecting
condolence messages from
relatives and friends. After
reading d first message she
fainted. The son rushed into d
room, found his mother on the
floor and saw d computer
screen which read: 'to my loving
wife, i knw u are surprised to
hear from me, they hv
computers here and we are
allowed to send mails to loved
ones. I 've just been checked in.
How are u and d kids, d place is
realy nice but am lonely here. I
hv made necessary
arrangement 4 ur arrival
2morrow. Expecting u darling. I
cnt wait to see u.

Atlanta'96 - Abacha
Gold - 2
Silver - 1
Bronze - 3
Total - 6

Sydney'00 - Obasanjo:
Gold - 1
Silver - 2
Bronze - 0
Total - 3

Athens'04 - Obasanjo:
Gold - 0
Silver - 0
Bronze - 2
Total - 2

Beijing'08 - Ya radua:
Gold - 0
Silver - 1
Bronze - 3
Total - 4

London'12 - Goodluck
Gold - 0
Silver - 0
Bronze - 0
Total - 0

Goodluck or Badluck ?

Na must watch ohh

If corruptions and mismanagement could be part of the olympics games, na naija go will all the gold

Woman: My Husband is not interested in sex.
DOCTOR: Ok! give these pills 2 him. Everyday,put 1 pill in his tea.

D woman did and they had sex which they enjoyed. Next day she puts 2 pills in his tea and they enjoyed much more sex. 3rd day, she emptied d whole bottle in his tea.

Two days later Doctor called to know d progress. Son picked and replied:
“Mom is in coma at d moment, Aunt is in hospital, Maid is suing Dad for countless rape, My own asshole hurts real bad and Dad is still running naked in d garden, shouting Bingo! Bingo!! Bingo!!! Even the Dogs are running 4 their lives!
=D lwkmd!!

If FOOTBALL CLUBS were to be ACADEMIC INSTITUTIONS in Nigeria then:

ARSENAL = FUTO: where the students work hard through out the year but fail to succeed.

MANCEHSTER CITY = IGBINEDION UNIVERSITY.: where the students purchase all the expensive items and live large but are never interested in their primary assignment.

LIVERPOOL = UNILAG / MAULAG: where the students are very much proud of the academic achievements of their grand fathers.

MANCHESTER UNITED = UNAAB: where students don’t perform well in class except their final exams and achieve good results.

CHELSEA = OSU (Olabisi Onabanjo University) where students fail and put the blame on their VC after which, d government will intervene to find a new VC for the school every year.

REAL MADRID = UI(University of Ibadan) where students think they perform best and keep beefing d best students of other schools.

and Finally,

BARCELONA = UNILORIN where students work hard, perform well in class and achieve d best result in the whole country.

A girl posted an advertisement in the paper for a husband, saying: “I need a person who will never leave me, never beat me and can satisfy me in bed.”

Next day, a guy with no arms and legs knocked at her door.

Girl:who are you?
Guy: I want to be your husband.
Girl:you don’t fit for that.
Guy:I don’t have arms, so I can’t beat u. I don’t have legs, so I can’t leave you. . !
Girl: But how can you satisfy me in bed?
Guy:How do you think I knocked the door.

Loooool…

If fifa and uefa can introduce a goal line tachnology to know if d ball had went inside a goal post so ​D̶̲̥̅̊A̶̲̥̅†̥ dere will be no cheating in football, man and women should also introduce a sex line technlogy to know how many goals had went into d women and how many goals the man had scored so ​D̶̲̥̅̊A̶̲̥̅†̥ dere will be no cheating

;DA gurl went 2 see a pastor 4 counselling, n she ws askd wot happened,she simply replied ‘my boyfrnd did a badtin 2me’,d pastor askd did he beat u?She said NO,did he slap u? She said NO,the pastor hugged her,did he do this to u?she said NO,he kissed her and asked did he do this to u?she said NO,the pastor laid her down and made love to her,did he do this to u?she said NO and replied, he gav me HIV, the pastor fainted