₦airaland Forum

One of the most challenging and controversial teachings of Jesus centers around a Parable (story) He told of a Farmer planting seeds. The implications of this short passage of Scripture are tremendous. Jesus is teaching that everyone who hears the Message of the Gospel will land in one of four categories; and only one of those categories is good!

"As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop — a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear." Matthew 13:4-9

To create good "soil" in our minds and hearts for the Truth of God to take root means relentlessly eliminating the "rocks and weeds" which refers to anyone or anything that is holding you back from wholeheartedly following Jesus. Below are some of those "rocks" that represent 3 things that can ruin your life:
1. Unhealthy Relationships

We're called to love all people, but we must be intentional and wise about choosing our inner circle of friends, because they will have a great deal of influence in your life. Surround yourself with people who will reinforce your faith and values and remove yourself from anyone who causes you to compromise your principles.

Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 1 Corinthians 15:33
2. Unhealthy Habits

Those secret sins will do you in. Whatever your struggles might be (Porn, Alcohol, Greed, Laziness, Legalism or a thousand others) you need to Repent (turn from it) and ask God to forgive you! Don't live in a prison of sin when Jesus has offered a full pardon through Grace! Create healthy boundaries to protect yourself from unhealthy habits.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
3. Unhealthy Motives

In a nutshell, following Jesus simply means trading your agenda for God's agenda. If your motives are about building your own little kingdom instead of His Kingdom, then you're missing the whole point! God doesn't just examine what we do…He examines why we do it!


"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13

The Good News is that God loves you and cares about your life even more than you do. If you will sincerely seek Him and ask Him to remove these "rocks" from your life, He will bring freedom and forgiveness! Then, the seeds of Truth from His Word will take root and grow into the life you were always meant to live. He wants to give you the best life possible…

"For I have come to give life, a rich and satisfying life!" -Jesus (John 10:10)

http://www.familyparliament.com/628/3-things-that-will-ruin-your-life

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At 93, Betty Reid Soskin is something of a celebrity.

The park ranger assigned to the Rosie the Riveter-World War II Home Front National Historical Park in Richmond, California, writes frequently on her blog, has a Wikipedia page, and has been interviewed by NPR and People.

She's become so popular, she says, that the park's tour audiences have doubled, tours are now booked months ahead, and the park has added tours to keep up.

There's no question why Soskin enjoys her celebrity status: She's seen it all and has lived "lots and lots of lives," as she tells NPR.

Soskin served as a clerk in an all-black trade union during World War II, became a political activist and noted songwriter during the civil-rights movement, and now interprets her wartime experience through her stories.

But she is not simply the oldest active ranger in the National Park Service — Soskin helped shape what the park has become, first as a consultant and later as an interpretive park ranger.

She works five days a week, about five hours a day, and occasionally works extra hours. Most Wednesdays and Fridays, Soskin will spend the day answering emails and requests from her desk at headquarters in downtown Richmond. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays she'll work at the Visitor Education Center and give two or three presentations in its small theater.

Some days she'll conduct bus tours through the sites that make up the national park or give presentations.

Soskin recently gave Business Insider an inside look at her experience.

Business Insider: How did you get started at the National Park Service?

Betty Reid Soskin: I entered as a state employee at the planning stages of an emerging national park in 2000. One of the scattered sites was the Ford Assembly Plant, which was designed by Albert Kahn and constructed upon state-owned land.

That means that, as a field representative for a member of the California State Assembly, there was a seat at the planning table because that important iconic building had been constructed on state-owned land. It was built on air rights. That placed me at the planning table, which eventually morphed into the role of a consultant to the National Park Service, which then evolved into a contract worker paid for by the Rosie Trust. I resigned my position with the State in 2003.

What were early influences on your career?

When one has lived through nine decades before entering the park service, holding many roles — wife, mother, artist, caretaker, merchant, administrative aide, field representative for a member of the state legislature, administrator for a research project for the UC Berkeley psychology department, chief of staff for a city councilman for the City of Berkeley — all added color to my current career and influences my work in every way.

What skills are most useful to have to be a park ranger?

That would be dependent upon the field in which one is assigned. Since the National Park Service rangers cover the full spectrum of career opportunities — from botany, marine biology, and forestry to communications and graphic design — the required skills would reflect a variety of areas.

If one is in interpretation, people skills are surely a premium, and enough imagination and research abilities to enable one to communicate the themes of any particular park site.

I must admit, though, that I'm not a trained interpreter, and what skills I may process came in with me — having been acquired long before I discovered the park service.
[img]http://l1.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/9kbm4tNIvWasGdtakX0uzw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NQ--/http://globalfinance.zenfs.com/en_us/Finance/US_AFTP_SILICONALLEY_H_LIVE/Meet_the_93yearold_woman_who-161df6d7e6e73170d3f13676d70fbe28[/img]

Becoming an interpreter, however, allowed me to be able to identify and hone what skills I brought with me into a more marketable shape, but there is little that is newly acquired. That probably has to do with my age, and the extraordinary opportunity I experienced by being hired as an interpretive ranger at the age of 85. The fact that I came in as a primary source for the period being celebrated and memorialized — 1941 to 1945 — was surely a given.

What's the pay like for a park ranger?

I have no idea. In fact, with today's technological advantages, and since I never see my paycheck — I use automatic electronic transfers — I have no idea what I'm earning or precisely what the benefits are.

That would suggest that my earnings are not central to my upkeep at this point in life, and whatever I earn is in addition to my Social Security checks — also electronic transfers. I'm far beyond the need to even keep track.

It's also kind of interesting that I'm collecting Social Security while still paying into the system through withholding — and it feels like someone is just not paying attention anymore — besides me, of course.

What would people be most surprised to know about being a ranger?

Probably the range of opportunity there is in the career. Park rangers have such a wide variety of choices to explore within the job category. The full spectrum is limitless.

What's the best part about what you do?

I suppose it is — as I approach 94 years in my 10th decade — I remain contemporary because of my work and its relevance to today.

The worst?

Having my wrinkles filmed in HD-TV.

What is the most memorable things you've experienced on the job?

Among the many tributes and honors I've received, two stand out as stunning: receiving the Fannie Lou Hamer Award from the graduating black students class at the University of California a few years ago at their commencement ceremony, and last year receiving a hand-crafted 12-inch-tall crystal cube in which a welder's tool is suspended from today's Boilermakers Union for my work for the all-black auxiliary created under a Jim Crow segregated local — by way of apology for those years of separation.

As the only still-living member of staff I accepted in their names. That was special. There have been so many such moments, like having the chance to visit the airfield where the Tuskegee Airmen were trained at Tuskegee University to deliver the Women's Equality Day speech last fall.

What is your favorite moment on the job?

Just after I take a deep breath, exhale, and begin my talk in our little theater — it's magic and never the same.

Do you have plans to retire?

Why on earth would one want to do that?
How do you spend your down time?

I love to visit art galleries and go to plays. The Bay Area is rich with events, exhibits, and chances to attend festivals and community activities.

I also love to curl up with a good book and C-SPAN on occasion and hug my knees propped up with three pillows with some raisins or cashews at my elbow and explore life through my iPad.

I'm a prolific blogger and try to keep current on journaling my life for my children and grandchildren for when I'm no longer on this dimension.

What advice would you give to young people?

I'd never attempt to give such advice to anyone. The rate of change has accelerated to the extent that I don't think I could ever imagine what life will be like for anyone now in their youth that could ever come from someone my age. I can't imagine the world that my grandchildren will live in.

What lessons would you like to share?

Probably the most important lesson came within the past few years when I discovered the concept of conflicting truths.

There's a place on one of the films that we show in our theater called "Home-Front Heroes," the story of what happened in the City of Richmond, California, during WWII and the Kaiser shipbuilding effort. In it, there is a moment when a woman (Agnes Moore) speaks behind the images of waving flags and marching people saying, "It was the greatest coming together of the American People that I've ever lived through."

I'd stand there against the wall in the dark watching the faces of the audience and cringe! I'd think, "How can she say that!" As a woman of color, I'd lived such a different history, and the statement recognized none of that.

Somewhere along the way I aged into a place where I began to hear that voice as speaking Agnes Moore's literal truth. As an accurate expression of her reality. It dawned on me that life was filled with conflicting truths, and that as long as there was a place where her truth and mine could coexist, that was perfectly all right with me.

I wish I'd learned that when I was an adolescent. It would have saved me much pain and anguish. This is not an either-or world. It's both-and. All of it is true, for somebody.

Final thoughts?

There's nothing left to say except that life is still evolving and I only wish I'd not outlived my peer group! So few have chronicled these years, except for the wrong reasons.

I'm a 20-year participant in the Women's Health Initiative and their questionnaire no longer holds any relevance to life as I'm living it. I refuse to believe that there aren't a significant number of us living into these years actively, productively, and with gusto!

The medical professionals would have us believe that life has been extended. In far too many cases, my sense of things is that they've only prolonged death – that it's just taking us longer to die.

That shouldn't be the conventional wisdom. There are many who continue to find meaning and purpose in these years, and a few of us are even finding continuing fulfillment in the workplace. That is as it should be.

http://www.familyparliament.com/603/meet-the-93-year-old-woman-who-still-works-5-days-a-week-and

1. Living with a man who has not paid your bride price or Married you.
2: Sending their nude pictures to guys in the name of Love.
3: Sharing all their secrets with a man they barely know.
4: Stealing their Parents money to finance a guy.
5: Giving their School fees to a guy to celebrate his birthday
6: Accepting to be a second wife because of so called love.
7: Wearing the engagement rings of men who doesn't even know their homes nor meet their parents or received their consent.
8: Fighting all their friends and family members who oppose their love affairs.
9: Giving your BRIDE PRIDE (virginity) to a man who has not paid your BRIDE PRICE.
10: Turning themselves to a Man's s*x toy and slave in the name of love.
11: Bathing naked with their Guys, who may secretly snap the picture and post it on the internet.
12: Turning themselves to a guy's cook.
13: Turning themselves to launderer washing clothes for guys they say they love.
14: Public show of romance with your boyfriend who is only deceiving you.
15: Abusing all other guys around because they feel they are already hooked.
16: Disobeying their parents for the sake of a man who their parents don't even know or accept
17: Disobeying God because of a guy. Some girls would say, I know it's wrong to have s*x with him before marriage, but I love him and don't want to lose him. It shows how cheap and stupid such a girl is to choose to please a man rather than God.
18: Giving a man s*x simply because he promised them marriage.
19: Leaving a Church because their pastors insist on Pre marital Training.
20: Continuing relationship with guys who kept on beating them in the name of love. One of them said,'' I know he is not a good guy, he is wicked but I love him''.
21: Going out with a guy who is criminally minded in the name of love.
How can you describe a decent girl who discovers that her guy is an armed robber but stays with him in the name of love? That is madness.
22: Stealing from the office to help a guy pay his bills. What a stupid thing to do for love!
23: Swearing to a blood oath with a guy in the name of love.
24: Fighting another girl in the house of a guy until they torn their blouse and skirt to shred as they fight dirty. Is the guy the only guy in the world?
25: Continuing a relationship with a guy you cannot trust is very foolish.
26: Continuing a relationship with a man you know has three other women in his life.
27: Going out with a single man who is dating married women is a very stupid thing you can do.
28: Going out with married men for love or money is foolish
29: You are 23, you are going out with 57 year old, pot belly, bald headed, married man. This is an error.
30: You know he does not love you, his mind is with someone else, but you continue the relationship, doing everything to win him, believing he will change his mind.
31: Going out with a man who abuses his mother, beat his sisters, terrorize every woman around him except you is foolish, whatever he is doing to women today he will do to you later.
32: Wearing engagement ring of a guy who is not faithful to you
33. Spending for a man who does not love you,just to win him.
34. Forsaking God because of a man.
36. Leaving campus to party with guys, missing classes in the name of love.
37. Crying and begging a man to marry them
38. Moving into the house of men who is not married to them,thinking that the man will love them in the process.
39. Telling everybody they are going out with a man,who had never spoken to them,just to win the man.
40. Becoming pregnant for a man,to tie him down.
41. Going diabolical to win a guy.


http://www.familyparliament.com/258/41-foolish-things-girls-do-in-the-name-of-love

Often in the quest towards marriage and finding “the one,” something happens. It’s easy to overlook things that may not seem that big of a deal while dating, but these things could be destructive patterns once married. But love doesn’t have to be blind. There’s no reason to settle for unhealthy or harmful relationships, simply to pursue being married.

We all have sin issues that we deal with on a daily basis. We’ve all made mistakes that we often wish we could do-over. We all need the grace and freedom that only Christ Himself can offer. But our marriages are healthier when we recognize red flags in our dating relationships, instead of choosing not to see problems at all.

God cares about the decisions we make. He cares about who we marry. And we can trust He will give guidance, and help us see some red flags to be aware of along the way.

10 Women Christian Men Should Never Marry


1. The Unbeliever – Be careful not to settle for less than what God would want for the spiritual health and care of your marriage. Marriage can be tough enough at times, add to that the pressure of opposing spiritual views, and you may be in big trouble when the normal stressors of life occur. If you hold vastly different beliefs now, don’t falsely assume you’ll get her to “turn around,” or change her ways later. It may happen, but it may not.

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Cor. 6:14

2. The Abuser – Many times “abusers” are assumed to be men, but women struggle with this same trap too, and the man in her life may feel like it’s difficult to talk about the problem or find help. Men can often become the invisible victims of relationship abuse and find themselves dealing with deep levels of shame, guilt, and inadequacy.

Ps. 11:5 says, “The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence, he hates.” This verse reminds us of how God feels about the heart which instigates violence. No one deserves to be abused. Ever. Move quickly away from the one who brings you physical, verbal, or deep emotional harm. You are not their saving grace. That is God’s work. Marriage must be built on deep love and respect, and abuse of any type has no place there.

3. The Controller, Manipulator – This person’s subtle, dangerous behavior can indicate big trouble ahead. What might be disguised as “I just care about you,” can really be a need for constant control or a heart of jealousy. She may dominate and strive to make decisions for you, especially in regards to whom you spend your time with. She might check up on you frequently, keep close tabs, or falsely accuse you of cheating on her. The one driven by control needs will have continual issues with whether she can “trust you.” Often, under her grasp, you may start to feel like you can hardly breathe. It’s suffocating. It’s supposed to be, that’s how you’re held tightly.

James 3:16 says, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” And that is no place to start a marriage.

4. The Angry, Contentious Woman – If your partner can’t control her temper before you’re married, she most certainly won’t after you’re married. In most cases, her behavior will worsen. No matter what our personality type, it still doesn’t give us room to plow over anyone in our pathway with cruel words and rants. Take time to see how she responds in different scenarios, especially when under pressure.

Proverbs 25:24, “It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” This is more than, “I’m just having a bad day.” An angry, quarrelsome disposition has a pattern of negativity, harsh words, and flaring tempers. The key is – does she realize it’s an area of weakness that she desires for God to change? If the answer is “no,” steer clear.

5. The Seducer – Behaviors established before marriage are not going to magically go away once you say, “I do.” Sexual sin can be a deep trap of the enemy and once ensnared in these destructive patterns, they are difficult to break. Yet the pain or mistakes of the past should hold no control over our present and future. God redeems, sets free, and desires to make us new.

Make the choice together to live by His standards in your relationship. The lies of the world say that s*x before marriage is normal, no big deal. Yet it’s a huge deal. Don’t fall for the enemy’s lie. The heart of Christ seeks the best for the one they love, desiring to build up, protect, and encourage healthy, safe patterns.

In the story of Joseph in Genesis 39, we see Potiphar’s wife pursuing him with sexual advances day after day. It was relentless. But he did not fall. The Bible says, “he fled.” Wise man.

6. The Deceiver, Liar - Every marriage must be built on trust. Without this as a firm foundation, you’re in for trouble from the beginning. So what about those “little white lies” you started noticing along the way? In reality, there’s no such thing as little white lies. Any lie is meant to hide, deceive, or manipulate truth. There is no room for dishonesty in a healthy, loving relationship. It’s a dangerous trap and you will always be left wondering what she’s hiding.

In Judges 16, we read the story of Delilah, who plotted and tricked the strong man Samson, ultimately deceiving him. He was foolishly lured by her entices and fell into deep destruction because of it. Left to our own thoughts, we, like Samson, may miss the signal that there’s trouble ahead.

7. The Addict – This person needs freedom that can only come by admitting there’s a problem, seeking professional help and leaning on the strength that God can bring. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, pornography, or destructive habits will lead to deep troubles ahead. And though your relationship may seem to challenge her in the right direction, don’t be fooled that she’ll so quickly “give it all up for you,” without the aid and accountability of professional help.

You are not the one to set her free and your role is not to try to change their heart. Only God can do that. 1 Cor. 6:12 says, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”

8. The Narcissist, Diva - No matter how beautiful, talented, and charming she may seem, marriage is built on the word “together.” If the relationship before marriage seems to constantly be all about her, you may be in for some struggle ahead. The “Diva” generally refers to one who demands the center of attention and focus at the expense of others’ feelings. Humility, compassion, love, and respect are much more admirable characteristics than simply the externals. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” Prov. 31:30.

9. The Gold Digger/Big Spender - Secretive spending habits? More interested in your bank account or what you can buy her, than in you? Once married, these patterns can worsen when the stressors of family life and responsibilities mount high. Money problems and financial struggles are one of the main causes of divorce. Look for the red flags and decide up front if the two of you can agree on the big issues. “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” 1 Tim. 6:10.

10. The One Who Won’t Leave the Nest – It’s difficult to live a future of becoming one flesh when either partner is still joined too tightly to their parents. Nothing wrong with having close, healthy relationships with our parents throughout life, until you allow it to consume your decision making or control your marriage. Parents are meant to offer protection to children, even adult children. But upon marriage, the spouse should be given that primary place of leadership and care, under God’s authority. Talk about healthy boundaries before you marry, don’t dismiss it as “no big deal.” You may find out later how big a deal it was. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Gen. 2:24

The healthiest marriages are not made up of two seemingly “perfect” people, but two forgiven people who have the capacity, by the grace of God, to keep offering forgiveness to one another.

God’s Word gives guidance for marriage and offers plenty of examples for wise living. It really comes down to a choice. What do we believe about what He says, and will we look to Him for wisdom in relationships and in how we live our lives?

There’s a battle over marriages today, and the enemy would love nothing more than to destroy yours before it’s hardly even begun, or to entice you into a harmful one. Don’t let Him win. Search God’s Word for what He has to say. His are the words that matter most.

http://www.familyparliament.com/543/10-women-christian-men-should-never-marry

Often in the quest towards marriage and finding “the one,” something happens. It’s easy to overlook things that may not seem that big of a deal while dating, but these things could be destructive patterns once married. But love doesn’t have to be blind. There’s no reason to settle for unhealthy or harmful relationships, simply to pursue being married.

We all have sin issues that we deal with on a daily basis. We’ve all made mistakes that we often wish we could do-over. We all need the grace and freedom that only Christ Himself can offer. But our marriages are healthier when we recognize red flags in our dating relationships, instead of choosing not to see problems at all.

God cares about the decisions we make. He cares about who we marry. And we can trust He will give guidance, and help us see some red flags to be aware of along the way.

10 Women Christian Men Should Never Marry


1. The Unbeliever – Be careful not to settle for less than what God would want for the spiritual health and care of your marriage. Marriage can be tough enough at times, add to that the pressure of opposing spiritual views, and you may be in big trouble when the normal stressors of life occur. If you hold vastly different beliefs now, don’t falsely assume you’ll get her to “turn around,” or change her ways later. It may happen, but it may not.

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Cor. 6:14

2. The Abuser – Many times “abusers” are assumed to be men, but women struggle with this same trap too, and the man in her life may feel like it’s difficult to talk about the problem or find help. Men can often become the invisible victims of relationship abuse and find themselves dealing with deep levels of shame, guilt, and inadequacy.

Ps. 11:5 says, “The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence, he hates.” This verse reminds us of how God feels about the heart which instigates violence. No one deserves to be abused. Ever. Move quickly away from the one who brings you physical, verbal, or deep emotional harm. You are not their saving grace. That is God’s work. Marriage must be built on deep love and respect, and abuse of any type has no place there.

3. The Controller, Manipulator – This person’s subtle, dangerous behavior can indicate big trouble ahead. What might be disguised as “I just care about you,” can really be a need for constant control or a heart of jealousy. She may dominate and strive to make decisions for you, especially in regards to whom you spend your time with. She might check up on you frequently, keep close tabs, or falsely accuse you of cheating on her. The one driven by control needs will have continual issues with whether she can “trust you.” Often, under her grasp, you may start to feel like you can hardly breathe. It’s suffocating. It’s supposed to be, that’s how you’re held tightly.

James 3:16 says, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” And that is no place to start a marriage.

4. The Angry, Contentious Woman – If your partner can’t control her temper before you’re married, she most certainly won’t after you’re married. In most cases, her behavior will worsen. No matter what our personality type, it still doesn’t give us room to plow over anyone in our pathway with cruel words and rants. Take time to see how she responds in different scenarios, especially when under pressure.

Proverbs 25:24, “It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” This is more than, “I’m just having a bad day.” An angry, quarrelsome disposition has a pattern of negativity, harsh words, and flaring tempers. The key is – does she realize it’s an area of weakness that she desires for God to change? If the answer is “no,” steer clear.

5. The Seducer – Behaviors established before marriage are not going to magically go away once you say, “I do.” Sexual sin can be a deep trap of the enemy and once ensnared in these destructive patterns, they are difficult to break. Yet the pain or mistakes of the past should hold no control over our present and future. God redeems, sets free, and desires to make us new.

Make the choice together to live by His standards in your relationship. The lies of the world say that s*x before marriage is normal, no big deal. Yet it’s a huge deal. Don’t fall for the enemy’s lie. The heart of Christ seeks the best for the one they love, desiring to build up, protect, and encourage healthy, safe patterns.

In the story of Joseph in Genesis 39, we see Potiphar’s wife pursuing him with sexual advances day after day. It was relentless. But he did not fall. The Bible says, “he fled.” Wise man.

6. The Deceiver, Liar - Every marriage must be built on trust. Without this as a firm foundation, you’re in for trouble from the beginning. So what about those “little white lies” you started noticing along the way? In reality, there’s no such thing as little white lies. Any lie is meant to hide, deceive, or manipulate truth. There is no room for dishonesty in a healthy, loving relationship. It’s a dangerous trap and you will always be left wondering what she’s hiding.

In Judges 16, we read the story of Delilah, who plotted and tricked the strong man Samson, ultimately deceiving him. He was foolishly lured by her entices and fell into deep destruction because of it. Left to our own thoughts, we, like Samson, may miss the signal that there’s trouble ahead.

7. The Addict – This person needs freedom that can only come by admitting there’s a problem, seeking professional help and leaning on the strength that God can bring. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, pornography, or destructive habits will lead to deep troubles ahead. And though your relationship may seem to challenge her in the right direction, don’t be fooled that she’ll so quickly “give it all up for you,” without the aid and accountability of professional help.

You are not the one to set her free and your role is not to try to change their heart. Only God can do that. 1 Cor. 6:12 says, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”

8. The Narcissist, Diva - No matter how beautiful, talented, and charming she may seem, marriage is built on the word “together.” If the relationship before marriage seems to constantly be all about her, you may be in for some struggle ahead. The “Diva” generally refers to one who demands the center of attention and focus at the expense of others’ feelings. Humility, compassion, love, and respect are much more admirable characteristics than simply the externals. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” Prov. 31:30.

9. The Gold Digger/Big Spender - Secretive spending habits? More interested in your bank account or what you can buy her, than in you? Once married, these patterns can worsen when the stressors of family life and responsibilities mount high. Money problems and financial struggles are one of the main causes of divorce. Look for the red flags and decide up front if the two of you can agree on the big issues. “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” 1 Tim. 6:10.

10. The One Who Won’t Leave the Nest – It’s difficult to live a future of becoming one flesh when either partner is still joined too tightly to their parents. Nothing wrong with having close, healthy relationships with our parents throughout life, until you allow it to consume your decision making or control your marriage. Parents are meant to offer protection to children, even adult children. But upon marriage, the spouse should be given that primary place of leadership and care, under God’s authority. Talk about healthy boundaries before you marry, don’t dismiss it as “no big deal.” You may find out later how big a deal it was. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Gen. 2:24

The healthiest marriages are not made up of two seemingly “perfect” people, but two forgiven people who have the capacity, by the grace of God, to keep offering forgiveness to one another.

God’s Word gives guidance for marriage and offers plenty of examples for wise living. It really comes down to a choice. What do we believe about what He says, and will we look to Him for wisdom in relationships and in how we live our lives?

There’s a battle over marriages today, and the enemy would love nothing more than to destroy yours before it’s hardly even begun, or to entice you into a harmful one. Don’t let Him win. Search God’s Word for what He has to say. His are the words that matter most.

http://www.familyparliament.com/543/10-women-christian-men-should-never-marry

Pastor Bisi Adewale

Please note that you can avoid adultery, it is within your power to do it, if you really mean it, carelessness is one of the major cause of affair in marriage not devil in the real sense of it as many people always claim when they fall into error. So follow the following simple rules you will never fall into adultery.

1: Never make anybody of the opposite s*x your best friend with whom you share intimate discussions

2: Never be with anybody of opposite s*x at the time your spouse must never know you are there.

3: Never talk evil about your spouse in the presence of anybody, they will know you are not happy in your marriage and take advantage of that by showing you fake care and give you what you lack with your Spouse and destroy you.

4: Be proud to use your wedding ring outside, let them know you are married and proud to be.

5: Never visit a website you will not be proud to tell your children and wife/ husband you visited.

6: Avoid keeping secrets from your spouse, AFFIAR thrive in secrecy.

7: Avoid confiding in the people of the opposite sex, there should be somebody of your s*x you can talk to, don’t dig the grave of your marriage with your mouth.

8: Avoid collecting unsolicited gifts and Favour from opposite sex. They will ask for s*x in return they are not Father Christmas.

9: Avoid thinking that anybody is better than your husband or wife you don’t know what their spouses are enduring at home,what you are seeing outside is just a show biz don’t be deceive. Grass is only greener in the other compound because it is far from you.

10: Divert all your sexual fantasy towards your spouse. He or she is planted in to your life to satisfy you and keep you holy.

source: http://www.familyparliament.com/84/how-to-affairs-proof-your-marriage

MARRIAGE MAINTAINANCE
Learn how to keep the home in the shape you want it to be one major problem with marriage is the problem of maintenance, it is easier to start a marriage than to maintain it, at the point of maintenance is the point where many people fail, so you need to learn to maintain your marriage and be intentional about it, go all out to build a great marriage by, keeping it like a good farmer will do to his productive trees.
“Whoso keepeth the fig tree shall eat the fruit thereof: so he that waiteth on his master shall be honoured”. (Proverbs 27:18 KJV)
To maintain your marriage there are many things to put into it.
To maintain you will need the following tools:
1. Patience. You need to be patient. If your marriage must stand tall and solid.

To learn more JOIN US @ BREAKTHROUGH 4 SINGLES & MARRIED SUMMIT
Date: 26th of July 2015. Time: 2;30pm
Theme: Building A Supernatural Family
Ministering: Pastor Bisi & Yomi Adewale
VENUE: EDEN COMFORT PLACE
17, Alade Avenue, Opposite Lagos Airport Hotel off Obafemi Awolowo Way Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria.
Info: 08056457013, BB: 2AF5C883
Pls share with others and don’t miss it

https://www.familyparliament.com/uploads/1437577980.jpg

http://www.familyparliament.com/487/join-us-breakthrough-4-singles-amp-amp-married-summit-july-2

At first it probably sounds simple. Get a job to pay the bills so we can live happily ever after. But jobs take a lot of time and sometimes that time is stolen from the time that the marriage relationship needs.

Factor in that there are jobs and then there are careers and things get even more complicated. Generally a job is considered something one does for pay, but it does not necessarily require specialized education. A career is a job that you get paid for. It requires dedication to the field of work, plus you are expected to progress in knowledge and commitment over time.

Careers are usually more satisfying than jobs. The rub for married couples is when career decisions of one spouse conflict or compete with the marriage, family responsibilities, or the career of the other spouse. It’s a matter of discernment and juggling. The balancing act is often not easy. Following are some things to consider when making career decisions.

How much money do we need?

Ignore the temptation to give the flip answer “as much as possible.” A need is different from a want. Sure, it might be nice to have a swimming pool, a fancy car, or an upscale address (choose your luxury), but what is really necessary are the basics: food, clothing, shelter, health care, safety, and care for any children you may have. It’s OK to splurge occasionally but be sure to weigh the cost against the impact these things will have on couple and family time.

Should both of us work outside the home?

This is a complicated question with many variables, such as:

1. How necessary is the double income to survival?

2. How invested are each of us in our jobs or careers?

Would it be possible for one of us to take a leave from our career for a time and re- enter without undue penalty later?
Could one of us work part- time?
Could each of us work half time?
Could one of us stay current in our field and feel fulfilled by doing volunteer work?
3. Do we have young children, teens, or aging parents who need attention and personalized supervision?

4. If we have young children, do we have reliable child care providers who share our values and discipline beliefs?

5. Do we both strongly want to work outside the home?

What if our careers create conflict between us?

Some careers may put a marriage at risk because they are all-consuming. The job becomes a mistress or an addiction. It not only takes time, but also energy, away from the marriage. Sometimes the workplace provides the temptation to pursue an extramarital affair. Following are some questions to ask yourself:

1. Does your career require time commitment significantly over 40 hours per week?

2. Does your career require a lot of out of town travel?

3. Is your career so foreign to your spouse that it’s hard to share the nature of your work, at least in a general way?

4. Does your spouse’s work setting put him/her in frequent, intense working relationships with the opposite sex? Are your marital commitment and boundaries clear? Does the workplace support your marriage or put it at risk?

What are some ways to keep work, marriage, and family in balance?

Generally, work and children take their time off the top of a relationship. Work provides necessary income and includes built- in accountability, i.e. a boss, wages, reviews. Children make demands, plus we are responsible for their well- being.

The challenge is to give work and children their due but to balance them with what’s needed to keep a marriage strong. The temptation is to let the marriage go on autopilot because you’re both adults, you know you love each other, and you can let it slide for awhile, when job or kids are demanding your time. The key phrase is “for awhile.” Indeed, most marriages can absorb temporary spurts of attention to an urgent work project or an ailing parent. But it’s easy for a temporary crisis to slide into an ongoing pattern. To avoid this it’s helpful to have some regular marital practices that can prevent the balance from getting out of hand. For example:

1. Commit to a weekly date. This might not always involve spending money or going out, but it should be sacred time to renew your relationship and do something fun together.

2. Agree on how many hours of extra work (at the office or brought home) you can tolerate as a couple. Where do you draw the line and say it’s time to look for a different job?

3. Share what you love and hate about your work with your spouse so you stay connected with each other.

4. If necessary, lower your housekeeping standards (or pay someone to do chores you could do yourselves) to maximize couple/family time.

5. Include your spouse in work travel and parties when possible.

6. Staggering work schedules to minimize child care can be good for your relationship with your child but hard on the marriage. Make sure that your only together time is not while one is sleeping.

7. If you need to gain couple time, say no to nice but non- essential tasks such as:

baking cookies for the PTA
chairing a charity fundraiser
going to events that you can’t do as a couple
going to events that you don’t really care about but are in the habit of attending
TV, videos, and computer gaming- they can be time wasters
Prioritize

There are so many important and wonderful things we want to do with our time. How do we decide what to do and what to give up or do later?

The bottom line is:

Marriage first (This is the vocation to which you committed yourself.)
Children second (Your children may take more raw time, but not at the expense of your marriage. A healthy marriage is good for your children.)
Job third (Again, your job may take more hours, but don’t let it rule your life.)
Service and Recreation (Good and healthy to do, but make sure the other bases are covered.)

http://www.familyparliament.com/423/career-versus-marriage-striking-a-balance

As you can see, it's a suit with money glued all over it. (Btw, are those N10 or N100 notes on the trousers?)

www.nairaland.com/attachments/2646938_bb_jpeg4ef006bd67084eb2081d4a21b69e6445


http://www.familyparliament.com/425/man-decorates-his-suit-with-naira-note-to-attend-an-event-ph

https://cdn.fitpregnancy.com/sites/fitpregnancy.com/files/styles/384x384/public/field/image/exercise-pregnancy-shutterstock_272579432-700x.jpg?itok=l3rNAg4k

If you really want a natural birth, it might be time to hit the gym. According to an analysis of 28 health studies, published in the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology, women who exercise during pregnancy are 20 percent less likely to have a Cesarean section, which could be because staying in shape keeps your newborn from being born too large for a safe vaginal delivery.

Any exercise can be beneficial

Only about 15 percent of pregnant women in the U.S. are meeting the recommended 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day on most days of the week, says study author Margie H. Davenport, PhD, an assistant professor in the Program for Pregnancy and Postpartum Health, University of Alberta. Davenport says this may be because folks are still nervous that exercising will hinder the growth of their infant since an older study made that claim. "Now we know that babies are being born quite large and most women aren't getting enough exercise," she says. The University of Alberta's analysis of the studies demonstrated that prenatal exercise reduced the odds of having a large newborn (with birth weight greater than 8.81 pounds) by 31 percent without increasing the risk of having a small newborn.But how much exercise is needed to avoid a C-section? In the 28 studies Davenport's team looked at, prenatal exercise ranged from one to five times per week, 15 to 70 minutes per session, and lasted anywhere from six to 33 weeks. But this much disparity makes it difficult to pinpoint a magic exercise formula, according to Davenport. While the research team didn't analyze the birth weight of women who had C-sections, "we do know from previous research that women with large babies are more likely to have a C-section," Davenport says.

What's wrong with a big baby?

Of course having a big, healthy baby is every mom-to-be's wish, but sometimes bigger is not always better. Not only does having a larger baby increase your chance of a C-section, but it can also put you at risk of gestational diabetes in a future pregnancy, which can lead to type 2 diabetes later. Giving birth to a baby that's over the 90th percentile for gestational age and s*x also puts the child at risk of shoulder dystocia (when their shoulders get caught in the birth canal during labor) and the doctor may need to use forceps or vacuum extraction to deliver him, while meta-analyses have shown that babies born over 9 pounds tend to be heavier in childhood and later in life.

So if you want to increase your odds of your baby being born with a birth weight that's just right, take up a regular exercise routine, like walking or yoga. "I hope women can be empowered by this message that leading a more active lifestyle during their pregnancy can reduce their risk for labor complications and result in a healthier baby," Davenport says.

New findings conclude that pregnant women who practice prenatal exercise may have an easier labor, a baby with a healthier birth weight and even avoid a C-section.

http://www.familyparliament.com/435/prenatal-exercise-reduces-need-for-c-section

There are lots of ways to make a woman happy, but at the end of the day, we just want to feel like we're something special.


Here are 10 ways to show your wife you truly love her:
1. Tell her how you feel about her

Guys, even though you might not like talking about your feelings, we need it. If you want to make your wife feel important, and truly loved, you should look in her eyes and say, "I love you."

Eye contact makes a huge difference. The more eye contact you make, the more intimate it becomes.
2. Surprise her with little gifts

When you're walking through the mall, and your wife stops to look at something that she likes, try to remember it. Do your research and ask your mother-in-law or her sisters for a gift idea or two (you'll get brownie points from them as well).
3. Stop, look, and listen!

Notice when she wants to talk. She's not asking for you to fix something or be her hero; she just wants someone to listen. Make her feel like a million bucks by being attentive and making her feel important.
4. Date her

Try to go on a date at least once a week. Get a babysitter, recruit a grandparent or trade off with another couple. Keep the romance alive. You won her over once, do it over and over again.
5. Build her up

Encourage your wife to pursue her interests and the things that make her happy. Compliment her in front of others! It will make her shine like gold.
6. Do things around the house

There are a lot of things that women do that are sometimes taken for granted. A great way for husbands to show their love is by helping out around the house. Clean up after dinner, get the kids ready for school or take the next turn with the baby. The next time you notice your wife looking a little tired, say, "Why don't I clean up dinner? You can take a bubble bath." (Then I highly recommend giving her a foot massage.)
7. Leave her little notes

You don't have to be Shakespeare, just try to make her smile. Text her love notes when you're at work, leave sticky notes on the mirror in the bathroom, send a romantic email or put a little note in a book that she's reading.
8. Be more physical!

Don't forget small, meaningful touches: Hold your wife's hand or put your hand on the small of her back when you're leading her through a door. It doesn't really matter what you do - just touch more.
9. Give her a surprise date

Get off work early without telling her, pick up her favorite movie, grab some take out from that place she loves and have a surprise night in. Relaxing romance can be the very best kind. Cuddle on the couch, share popcorn while you watch the movie and offer her a back rub when it's over. It'll be great for both of you.


10. Leave her time to be herself

Make her take a break and do something just for herself. Tell her to go for lunch with a girlfriend, give her time to take a class or join a book club. If you want your wife to feel loved, she also needs to love herself.

http://www.familyparliament.com/436/10-ways-to-show-your-wife-you-truly-love-her

https://gidipoint.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/rccg_logo_gw.jpg

Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, yesterday, confirmed that its new three kilometre square auditorium expected to host 12 million persons will be one of the venues for its 63rd annual convention slated to begin August 9.

It also condemned same s*x marriage, which was recently endorsed by the American Supreme Court, saying “we don’t support it. There is no where in the Bible where God said people of the same s*x can get married. The stand of the church is very clear and it states; one man, one wife.

According to vanguardngr report Similarly, the church clarified its position about Christians in politics, noting that it does not bar individual members of the church from participating in politics but “we are not accountable for their performance.

“We pray for those in power as the Bible has enjoined us to do. That is our stand but we believe that by the end of this year, Nigerians will have cause to say that all is well.”
The three kilometre by three kilometre Arena, still under construction, is located on Simawa Road, some distance from the outgoing one and half kilometre by one kilometre arena which was commissioned in 2000 with a capacity to sit one million worshippers.

Addressing newsmen at the church’s Redemption Camp, Head of Media and Public Relations, Pastor Segun Adegbiji with support from several ministers of the mission, said the new arena will host plenary sessions of a few evenings of the week long programme on an experimental basis.
According to Pastor Adegbiji adequate arrangements have been put in place to host participants from the 24 regions of the church spread across 188 countries of the world.

He quoted the General Overseer of the church, Pastor Enoch Adeboye as warning unserious persons to stay away from this year’s convention, which has a theme The All Sufficient God.

http://www.familyparliament.com/256/rccg-condemns-same-s-x-marriage-boko-haram-attacks

It baffles me when I speak with teenagers and most of them seem to have the same challenge and it is like their parents are sleeping to what's really making them to drift away from who they are created to be and now trying to just be who the environment has conditioned them to be. A lot of things go on in the mind of the teenagers at this stage causing mood swings and questions begging for sincere answers.
Reality is teenagers go through a lot of things at this their peculiar stage and all they seek for is that people should accept them and allow them enjoy the fantasy.
Though childhood and adolescent stages ought to be the most enjoyable stage in everyone's life, one will be right to say the teenage age is the most confusing time in the life of any human and it could bring with it lot of uncertainties if not well handled.
It is a stage where most people struggle with their identity, sense of belonging, who they really are and much ado about what others think about them. All these could bring about feelings of sadness because they are trying to fit into the society and the world around them. They as well want their kind of person to be accepted without people being judgmental. The following should be carefully considered so that the parents don’t regret what their children will turn out to be tomorrow;
1. Parents must know that it is their God-given duty to train them up in His own way so that at every stage they get to they will see God as the one with the final authority over them and it will help them to live rightly without pretense. Just like Joseph who knew he had to fear God even when no one is seeing him (Genesis 39:9b).
2. Let your children know you care about them and NEVER compare them with one another or with their friends. Each child is unique in his/her own ways(s). Show them love so that they don’t seek for it in the wrong place.
3. Build a close relationship with them which will make them to be free in discussing anything with you. At this stage, you don't need to shout on them lest they keep important information from you.
To be able to fit into their world as parents, update yourself by reading because you can only give what you have and be current. On this, let me introduce three(3) of our books to you: PARENTING TEENAGERS, [img]http:///media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/370x/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/P/a/Parenting_Teenagers_1731054.jpg[/img]

PURE GOLD(FOR GIRLS) &

STRONGER THAN DIAMOND(FOR BOYS) .
4. Whenever they do anything worth commending, never hesitate to commend them and show them love.
5. Pay Attention: whenever they are taking, pay rapt attention. Listen without interruption, make signs when necessary to show you are fully with them, take note if need be and while responding, do it in love and still pass across your message.
As a teenager, concentrate on positive things that will empower you to be ahead of your mate.
No outside force can make you happy except you make yourself happy and this can be done when you know that who you are is not defined by what people say about you.
No form of sadness or anxiety can solve your challenge but rather you being good and doing what is right not minding whoever is doing it wrongly.
Never keep negative energy, stand out in the midst of the multitude and free your mind of baggage.

Stay Happy, Lovely and Beautiful!!!

http://www.familyparliament.com/174/teenagers-in-the-school-of-sadness