₦airaland Forum

fyzaila:
Please let your sis under no circumstance, I repeat under no circumstance agree to go back to that hell on earth called marriage. Get a divorce asap and let her move on with her life.

The first step is taken already by getting her out of his house, there should be no going back. Marriage nowadays that most women are managing to stay in, na im beating com join again hmmm. I am surprised you sister's mental health is steal balanced.

The woman that was found on the street with two kids I am 99% sure marriage wahala got her to that stage.

Thanks alot, all una advice just dey stabilize mental health, don't worry I'll keep you all updated.

We4all:
Why did your sister who is a registered nurse, stooped so low to marry an illiterate? Isn't she aware that insecurity in marriage can lead to domestic abuse?

She didn't stop there, but when on to give birth to four kids. What the hell was she thinking?

Honestly, I don't feel bad for your sister because she must be in the category of women always saying demeaning things to single women for not being married. So, let her stay married to her prince charming and continue to cling unto the title 'mrs' for societal validation.

She's not a registered nurse though, when it all started, she did not let us know until they have given birth to their third, since she always birth through CS we wanted her not to do any child again, but they still went ahead with their fourth. Now the thing is worst.
Like I said she's very calm and inexperienced even now, it's now that she started listening to me because I was telling her to end the marriage at once right from Jan, because of some calculations I did and it became obvious to me that he wants to kill her. Now she almost paid with her life, she has no option than to be afraid of me.

Mindlog:
An outright end to the marriage is to the best interest of all....the children protected from continuous experience of violence, the woman protected from being killed by the man and the man not ending up in prison for murder.

Thanks alot for the input

Mindlog:
Why don't you want a divorce?

For now any sure way is acceptable though.

Suicideboy:
After trading your sister for tubers and wrappers, you have the gutso to come here to shill sum sobbing story.

Son, if you know what's good for you, stay out of drugs.

Onegai:
OP,

Your sister isn't safe in the state she's living in. That place is familiar ground to her husband, he knows how to find her.

If she's a nurse, then there's some luck. Let her get her certificate and apply to some jobs in another state, Edo or Delta for example. None of you should tell anyone, not even a friend where she is.

Leave the kids with your parents for now, until she gets back on her feet. There should be no talk of shared custody for the next full year (because a man who paid N5k to bring back his victim will kidnap his children to force her back to his house).

Don't bother asking him for money for upkeep for the kids until that full year has passed. He won't pay or he will demand to take his kids back (not out of love for them, but a need to control your sister).

With all the evidence you've gathered, you'd be better off going to your State Govt (police will only do their job once there's someone with clout or public opinion on the matter). A Commissioner or even the Governor's wife will have enough power to protect your sister. However, they may crazily decide to attempt to reconcile them (if the man is convincing enough).

Whatever is wrong with that man, your sister's love and his children's love cannot fix it. He has to face his demons himself and only God can help him. Right now, he's losing that battle so let your sister and the kids be protected.

I will be following this as a manual. Thanks alot

Kobojunkie:
I guess that the marriage was not registered in the courts, then? Contact the customary court immediately to know how to go about getting her divorced and collecting child support. Again, I believe she is at greater risk if she remains married to this man. It is usually best to make clear that the door is completely closed to allow both individuals to begin completely moving on, even though they have the kids between them still. 😒😒

It's registered based on the church's law catholic church but I know it's not enough.

Kobojunkie:
Was the marriage a traditional marriage or a court marriage? 😒

Both traditional and church wedding

Kobojunkie:
What is the value of this periodic separation from someone whom you already describe as having used a machete on her at this point? 😒😒

2. The man is unrepentant, and instead of legally cutting her connection to him, you want to leave open the door to the man coming back to finish what he has already been doing to your sister. Why? 😒😒

3. You have never heard of stalking, abi? You don't know that the man can still find her and maybe even finish her off at that point in time, since he remains her husband? 😒😒😒

This is why I posted this here. I learnt something new. My calculations are intact.

Kobojunkie:
1. Psychological work on her in how many minutes? Trauma may require years of counseling before one can be considered fully recovered from it. She

Also, consider her safety if shared custody is pursued. 😒

Thank you for your input, I don't want divorce per say, I want periodic separation. But the man is unrepentant and irredeemable. My sister is currently not even in the same city with him again, but I'm still doing underground work to get him to be answerable to law.

mysticwarrior:
We need to hear from the husband side of the story before we can conclude from a fair judgement.

The husband is very illiterate, manipulative and deceptive. You need to hear from him with his evidences and witnesses, then hear from my sister with evidences and witnesses. To understand what I'm saying.
Initially I was siding him as per my fellow man without knowing there was physical abuse, because as at then my sister was hiding it.

Kobojunkie:
Again, your attention should be on helping train the children to see that what their father does to their mother and what their mother does by remaining tied to her violent assaulter in the name of marriage is actually wrong and unacceptable behavior. 😒

Where are your parents in all of this? What does your mother think of all of this? 😒

Yea the kids are very smart, anything the eldest does , they all follow suit. The eldest did not sleep the whole night.

My father is late, my mother is not active.

Kobojunkie:
Your sister is in her endurance wife arc. Only she knows how long this stage of her life will last. I think you should focus your attention instead on teaching the children that their mother's behavior... he refusing to leave an abusive marriage... is not right and detrimental to her sanity and their future if they choose to allow it to hunt them. 😒

She's no longer, since 2016 with 5 procedures on her abdomen. What kind of pain is more than that. This story sounds this way because my sister chooses to allow it to be this bad. I can't endure it again. She can never be with him.
My sister is very talented in nursing because my mum is a nurse too. Now he is trying to put off her light.

Kobojunkie:
@Vertex1, does your sister wish to press charges against the husband for the violent abuse of her person or not? If she is not ready to leave the man, what is it that you hope to accomplish by way of this post? 😒

She is very ready now, she not with the husband again.
I've done psychological work on her, her eyes is very open now. She just want the man to leave her alone. Because he will need to provide for the children too. Please we need justice to take its course.

Kdon2:
"In their family?". One your sister was too inexperienced in matters of men otherwise she would have known better. Besides she is very secretive from what I can infer therefore what makes you think you know her sufficiently. A lot is questionable in this marriage. Maybe there is a lot you don't know.

They didn't show themselves before the marriage, but I've seen it and was telling my sister but like they said, girls in love doesn't listen to anybody. My sister is very inexperienced in many fields of life except that nursing she's doing. What breaks my heart is that they are not aware that they have a wizard of brother.
I'm very close to this my particular sister, without that , she may have died in people's hand, so I know her very well.
The husband and the family always tells me to take it easy and remove myself from the issue of marriage, that he is the husband but he is not aware, I'm already the brother before he came.

Telltruth123:
Honestly, I find this story hard to believe because how can somebody hate herself so much.

She didn't hate herself, I'm her little boy they don't listen to me, that is why our elder sis actually died. When I'm done with this issue, I will start her own.
People should know, it's not only about them, some of their circles and family actually loves them and finds it hard losing them, but some people are very inconsiderate about others when it comes to their life, this is what makes others heart broken and refusing to heal when bad things happen to people they love. Please lets consider others that love us, it's not only about us.

NotOfThisWorld:
Why does she keep going back to him like a mumu? Why can't someone talk some sense into her? She's not doing the kids any favor by staying with him but she's doing them more harm than good. I guess it's when she leaves in a body bag that she'll have sense.

I understand your plight, I personally was frustrated at the whole scenario. Some people use to say that when girls are in love they misbehave.
I warned my sis not to marry that man, and scolded him that he won't marry my sis, I'm a psychologist even though I was little at the time, they were older than I, but I've discernment.

I have seen all your comments, I will continue by the way and reply when I'm done.
On this year Easter Mon night, my sister's husband returned home by 12midnight and started making problem with her as usual, he started beating her using chains and wires. After that he reach for the matchet and started using it to flog her. Meanwhile he pounced on her while punching her, three of their kids that were awake pounced on him too beating him saying "rapu mummy aka" (leave mummy alone). The husband continue beating her to the extent of using the matches to be flogging her. My sister started shouting on top of her voice calling the attention of their neighbor, because they only live in the compound with just their caretaker. She now remembered what he used to say to her, that he will use the matchet to kill her for ritual. He kept flogging her with the cutlass, he then raised it up above his head, directing it towards her head, this made her to hold the portion of the cutlass and start dragging it with him while still shouting on top of her voice calling the neighbor, "Chima ojikwa mma o" (Chima he is holding a cutlass). At this juncture the neighbor came out with the wife opening their door which made my sister to ran inside their room because now the cutlass they were dragging has fallen on the floor. They eventually lock the door, this makes my sister's husband to start threatening them, so the wife of the neighbor came out and open their compound gate allowing my sister to ran out of the compound, at that instance my sister's husband had gone inside their room to get something, probably hid the cutlass. When he came out he realized that my sister is now out of the compound, he continue spewing alot of threats.

Now my sister headed to the house of chairman of the estate and narrates her ordeal. That night they went to my sister's husband at home to inquire what is the issue to enable my sister to go back to the house, but my sister's husband locked the gate and refuse them entering in the compound. He later throw them 5k as bribe through the fence to go and get the wife for him to continue maltreating.

In the morning time, I travel to the place with my brother to ask him whereabout my sister. When we later find out the compound she slept that night through calls, we brought her to their house to pack few of her things with the kids. The husband tried to stop us then we graciously kept him in a state he will stay, allowing my sister to pack few of the kids things and her clothes. We now left, taking them to stay somewhere I can't say here because of security reasons, that is where their welfare is been taken care of till this moment.

Just yesterday, my sister's husband went with police and got the estate chairman and local security men detained. They all started calling my sister to come to the station, both the landlord association. When my sister told me about it, I warned her never to go any place since it wasn't even police that was calling her.

Please note that I've every evidence of all I have said here. Both voice recordings, some videos and pictures.

I used my main account to type this to show the extent of authenticity of the narration. When someone is need they don't shy again. Everything concerning my sister affects me wholeheartedly.
I'm only pleading for the next step now the case is like this.
I'm ready to show the evidences but not out here.
The kids here are still tender; 7yrs, 6yrs, 5yrs and 3yrs respectively.

Note: At the initial stage of their marriage before the second kid, stopped my sister from working as a nurse and took all her life savings to make sure she is hopeless.

Kdon2:
Is your sister involved with other men? Is she contributing to home upkeep or a liability? Is your sister submissive or arrogant? Etc

My sister is the most humble person I've see in this life.
Before her marriage I was angry because she was 22years. We know no boyfriend of her. She just graduated from school of nursing.

Her husband stopped her from working as a nurse and took her life savings, which gave him without even telling us. The husband
refuse her from doing any job to earn so that he will continue using her as a slave. In their family they see wife as maid.

Five months after her umbilical hernia, he uses cutlass to beat her flogging her because he seize her phone, he always does that. But that faithful night, around 12pm he returned home as he usually does, wake her up and start emotionally abusing her as he does which led to flogging her with wire and later matchet. She started shouting on top of her voice until their neighbour rush out and open their compound gate for her, which she now ran to nearby house. The husband jump the fence of the building to come and take her wife, thereby spoiling some of the structures in the house as he was vibrating and causing destruction. This made the compound people to ask him to leave their compound. Due to it was very late in the night, we came in the morning and took sister and her kids. Later in the week, we took her to the human affairs commission in Awka, after documentation and processes, they invited the husband which he refuse to come. He entirely ignored their invitation. After staying with my mum for few weeks, the husband started calling and begging her everyday. Long story short he she went back.

This year Jan, I went to their house due to she always complain of her safety and can't leave the house too, because he always threaten to kill her, by poisoning her food, using her for rituals and he brought a matchet with red cover that his JuJu man gave him to use and kill his wife.
While I was in their house, he returned around 12 mid night, and pour away the tea my sister was drinking. He already slapped her hand to start beating her in my face ? And I rush and pulled him backward. He now left my sister and started talking many things. There's nothing he did not said till 1am. That I should leave his house with his wife. And I swear to him that he can never chase me away from his own home. That I am always there because of my sister and the kids. Mind you throughout the birth of those kids, I'm the birth mate of my sister, always nursing the kids. Like 3 of the kids I'm the first person to cloth them, I'm always awake feeding them throughout the night, because my sister was still passing through the post operation partem at the time. He always beg to go and be with them, because he always ran away from things like that. I always go to work from hospital. During the day some nurses do help my sister because she is also a nurse there before her husband stopped her from working.

I wanted to forget about my sis since she doesn't want to leave him, but I couldn't, the bond is stronger I could feel. Beside we lost her direct elder sister last year 2025, so putting my life in line for them remaining is no option.

Continue...

My sister married her husband in 2016, after giving birth in 2017 to their first child; male child, he started physically maltreating her till this year 2026. My sister birth all their four kids through caesarean section. She later went through another section in 2024 December which is umbilical hernia, this condition resulted from frequent domestic abuses she received from her husband. He beats her, punches her as if she is his mate even in pregnancy, he uses both cane and wire to flog her, he talks to her in the most demeaning way, always accuses her of sleeping with men and telling their neighbours many bad things about his wife, that she is way ward and does not care for their kids, but those people will later be telling my sister what he says out of pity, because they have seen how she suffers in the marriage always carrying the kids everywhere and taking care of them. My sister is the type that always have good mind and emotionally soft, psychologically she is phlegmatic.

I am very heartbroken typing this, i have tried to drag my sister out of the marriage but she eventually went back on several occasions, telling me that "he will change, for the sake of these children".
We have tried to settle the matter countless times, involving him and both his family but still they couldn't do anything. It is not that he is rich, but he is weather than his brothers, beside they're jealous of him and want him to fail.

Continue from next page, please moderator help me to position for the help I need.

Let me ask you my OGs in the house so that it won't seem as if I'm wicked.
Firstly I can be attracted to 30 girls in a day and decide not to love any and actually forget them.
I started dating my babe from 2024, she was the one that ask me out after vetting her on my standards which is : purity, humbleness and contented. So i accepted. Even though there are other girls that i turned down, either their greenlight or direct approach because I don't care much about sex, I'm more of workaholic though not excuse. I'm not that cute or just slightly above average in height. What they like in me is their concern because I'm not financially stable too.
I just recently notice that she's not a virgin like she said intially, out of fear of rejection from me according to her.
I started dating her at 18 and she will be 21 this Oct.
Her love for me is just too much, infact she's passionate about me. She used her money for tf to come and see me from her school, and will always call me with her airtime and have never for once ask me for anything, I'm the one that force some gifts to her. I discovered myself that she's not a virgin even though I always turn her down whenever she wants sex, because I was thinking I don't want to break her yet. She later confide in me that a neighbour - a young boy in their apartment deflowered her when they were still in secondary school playing all this dramas, the reason for their quarrel till date, because I notice she always block him whenever he calls even using different lines.

The issue is that I'm very extreme with girl's gimmicks, I don't give room at all for their manipulation and shenanigans. I don't know what to believe at the moment, but I'm doubting if it's only that boy according to her. She is very tight, because it's only my little finger that can slightly pass her V. But I still have my way of knowing she is not a V.
She was so much buried in shame, and felt really bad because she asked me what if I leave. But I maintain frame as if all is well. But unfortunately she has broken my first standard even though she's still chaste. Do you think I'm taking it too far for her not telling me initially. But I'm very sure she is not seeing anyone. But as a redpiller my mind is open. It will be hard for her to handle this if I leave her. I'm just a friend to both their mum and dad and like a protection for her. WHAT SHOULD I DO AT THIS MOMENT?

fattprince:
It's been long I came to take the pills and it's already telling on me. I was thinking about this afte

VERTEX01
Mikocake

I understand honestly because their manipulation is strong, only if you're conscious of it that you can overcome.
just go and simp no more

fattprince:
This girl remove my mind from her.

Bro eh, aswear to God you don dey Bleep up like this. Free that manipulative bast..@rd and move on na. Alot of fishes in river that will gladly fall inside your nest and hook and refuse leaving, please be open they'll come then throw back the ones you don't want

Someone should drop link please oo
Quote me please

Please any sure link for live streaming abeg na

Any live link for streaming please help o

lavylilly:
How do the person do in person meeting with clients when the need arises?

Since every engagement is scheduled, you already take track of the ones requiring your face time. That's why close supervision is a key word. Also using intern will more likely give you cheap labour and more productivity while they learn from you.

You can pay me for guiding and counseling on different decision making process.

lavylilly:
I’d really appreciate your guidance on a career decision I’m

.

Thank you.

This is my advice
Kindly hire someone for your remote job under your strict supervisor, it can be internship so that salary will suit you and give you flexibility for other openings and engagements.

AngelSlay:
John didn’t expect life to get complicated this fast.

.

And right now, he’s standing at a crossroads, wondering which version of his future he wants to walk into.

Hire someone under your strict supervision to be managing the remote offers, it can be internship so the payment can suit you. They can sharpen their skills in the process.