a very nice instrument

BAAAD

mikidoo1:
Shoro niyen ke

lol

for fuckas

DISCIPLINE

Terrorist organization al-Qaeda isn’t willing to hire any old schlub just because they say they’re willing to kill for Allah — no, it turns out they have standards. Vox has posted the official al-Qaeda job application that was recently declassified by the U.S. government and it’s loaded with utterly ridiculous questions that make it sound like it was written by The Onion. Here are the most absurd things al-Qaeda asks its prospective hires.


“What objectives would you like to accomplish on your jihad path?”

It seems that al-Qaeda is really looking for go-getter terrorists, not just lazy slobs who will fail to light their shoes on fire and then demand their 70 virgins. This makes us wonder if al-Qaeda also hands new recruits copies of 7 Habits of Highly Effective Martyrs as well.

“Are any of your relatives and friends in the jihad theater?”

Apparently it’s important to avoid the appearance of nepotism when hiring new terrorists. Remember the idiots who tried setting a car on fire and ramming it into a Glasgow airport terminal? Yeah, we bet they only got their jobs because their uncle was a former bin Laden deputy. That kind of stuff is embarrassing to terrorist organizations, so we’re not surprised they’ve started asking about it.

“What ideas do you, your family, and your other acquaintances have about jiahd for Allah’s sake?”
Be sure you’ve fully patented your jihad idea before telling al-Qaeda about it — those guys are notorious for stealing other terrorists’ IP.

“Who should we contact in case you become a

READ MORE http://www.newsgoogle.net/2015/05/ridiculous-questions-al-qaeda-asks-on.html

waste

nolie:
haaaaaa

thats right

The details regarding the funeral of Lionel “Chinx” Pickens have now been released. The rapper, who was shot dead this past Sunday (May 17), will be laid to rest next Tuesday (May 26) at the Greater Allen A. M. E. Cathedral of New York.

In lieu of flowers, Chinx’s family have asked for monetary donations in order to help them become financially stable in light of the rapper’s death. A statement from the family can be viewed below:

As you can imagine, in today’s challenging economic climate, losing your primary source of income can be devastating. When that loss is due to the unexpected death, it leaves a void that can never truly be filled.

Instead of sending flowers, please consider helping the family fill part of the financial void. Your donations will help provide much needed financial stability to a family who deserves so much more than what they have been dealt. We cannot replace the warmth, charisma, wit, charm, and love that Chinx gave to

read more http://www.newsgoogle.net/2015/05/chinxs-funeral-details-released-rapper.html

mayorteddy:
Oookay

15b dollars in not okayy

markidoo:
The dude above me is mikidoo, i am markidoo. What a coincidence hope dz mks fp. Out of all d bleeping men out der its ur own novice bleep dat u choose to bleep*in snoopdogs voice with u wrinkled pu**y i cnt b ur lover*

he slept with his momma

A 17-year-oldboy told police he blackmailed his mother into having sex with him on Wednesday afternoon.

State police received a report on the incident shortly after it allegedly occurred at about 2:40 p.m. The minor is considered a victim in the case
It’s unknown what the boy was holding over.........

read more http://www.newsgoogle.net/2015/05/teen-blackmailed-his-mom-into-having.html

One man is learning that the saying “appreciate everything you have, because you can lose it all any second” is very real

According to CNN Money, Li Hejun, who is considered to be the richest man in China, lost $15 billion when his company Hanergy crashed 47 percent in Hong Kong trading. Hanergy specializes in technology to create thinner and more flexible solar panels.

Hehun owns over 80 percent of Hanergy and failed to show up for the

read more http://www.newsgoogle.net/2015/05/man-loses-15-billion-in-hour.html

Taylor86:
na u know wetin u dey talk

dear peni5 abeg if e don pass to urinate and screwing deep into tonia, Amaka, chi chi, golds etc pussyy


respect ur sef, i can do other things b4 u go put us 4 problem

lol

Svelteb:
On my very own property? Dey must b very sick 4 making dat kinda law oo

lol

There’s a lot more to your member than meets the eye. Apart from its pretty damn impressive ability to make other joystick-toting little men, here are six crazy things you didn’t know your joystick could do.

It’s a ‘Fluid displacement device’

While you probably think of your dong as a device designed to inject Fluid, it’s also engineered to remove the Fluid of competitors, suggests research from the State University of New York, Albany.

You know that ridge at the base of your joystick head—the raised part just north of your shaft? While you’re thrusting in and out of your partner, that ridge rakes away the Fluid of any foes who may have slid into home base ahead of you, the researchers say.

It can survive decapitation

Penectomy is a procedure that involves removing part or all of the joystick. (It can be necessary if you have joystick cancer.) But like the headless horseman, your dipstick doesn’t die if you cut off its head.

You can still urinate, have sex, and Erupt even if the head has been removed, finds a study from Brazil.

Decapitation is far from the worst thing that could happen to your junk.

It can predict how your brain works

Men whose flaccid manlinesses hang to the left—and that’s the majority of us—may be “left-brain dominant,” suggests research from the journal Human Reproduction.
If your package dangles to the left, research suggests that you may be “left-brain dominant.

Due to developmental hormones, left-brain dominance is also tied to right-handedness, a larger right foot than left, and other forms of body asymmetry, the study authors say.

read more http://www.newsgoogle.net/2015/05/6-amazing-things-you-never-knew-your.html

asun ri jesu

chukxie:


She's got two options : Keep the baby and lose her job or keep her job and lose the the baby. I'd gladly choose the former if I were in her shoes.

true

this is gud sha

nolie:
KNACK WETIN

lol

Chizzy20:
hmm...dey really dealt wit her/his face

lol

Jessymez1:
God have mercy on his children

na small ish

Cutehector:
Befor nko, whoelse will he see? Prophet mohammed?

lol

to be release soon

hugogerrard:
This is supposed to be in the romance dept and not celebrity dept...

betta leave am

jst incase

sinaj:
Not in Nigeria nau!

hmm

jerflakes:


I know. Even nairaland word-check changes it to inbreeding.

lol

weyre people

jerflakes:


You're welcome

it is a rampant issue

drizslim:
Incense of the first order

lol