[quote author=marriedvirgin post=38320045]


at 25years I think you still have a lot of lessons to learn.My dear let me advice you as a woman who once had a husband.Men are very funny liars and I want to open your head for you.I would not insult you.I just want your eyes to clear from this sleep.

1) Why did he have to tell you that he is married only after some months.
Answer:Because he wanted to ensure that there was no obstacle for him to get his sex from you.He only decided to tell you he was married after having sex with you so that even if you leave him he must have had a taste of you.

2)I think it is selfish for a man not to tell you he has kids.Even if he didn't want to talk about his wife atleast he should talk about his children.A child is a blessing and I really fear this kind of man for your sake.

3)My dear you guys have only been together for 6 months and you think 6 months is enough for you to confidently say you guys love each other so much?Let me tell you something about dating/courtship,at the beginning everybody is always trying to show their best character but mind you that the real character would not take long to show.You might be thinking he is a good man but time would show you the reality.

If he was a good man would he be cheating on his wife with you?What make you think that you can do better than his wife ?What makes you think that if he marries you as second wife,he would not marry another woman as third wife too.My child,you are still very young to wrap yourself around this kind of complicated situation.Men have sweet tongues.Imagine a woman who has three kids for him and he kept getting her pregnant with up to three children and he was not ashamed to tell you that he did not love the wife and its his family that asked him to marry the wife.He is deceiving you and I want you to learn from this experience.

My analysis from the whole situation is that the man is the kind of man that no one can please.Even you right now,you might think you are the best now but when your turn would be up,he would treat you like rubbish.


This is my advice to you.
1)Do not get pregnant for him because if you try you would be left all by yourself to care for the child.
2)Stop being excited by what you hear or what he tells you.Use your head and think.You are a woman and God has put strong intuitions in women which they can use to help themselves.
3)Do not marry him.Infact cut all contacts with him and let him go back to his children.
4) Here abroad you would see men who have wives back in Nigeria but have a long line of girls they are sleeping around with and don't even use condom.My baby is that what you want for yourself at your age?

I have never taken time to advice someone like this but well I have tried to type these long paragraphs.

please please take good care of yourself.Do not let anyone fool you please


THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THESE YOUR ADVICE.I WILL HEED TO YOUR WORDS AND FLEE.I APPRECIATE U SO MUCH.MORE WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE TO PADDLE OTHERS TO THE RIGHT PATH.

Thank you so much Zanga.......ur advice is touching.

zanga420:
its ok babe. Thank God u stl have some conscience left. Its always better to be no1, so the choice is urs.
As for those castigating her, there're thousands of married aristos n sugar daddies out there with numerous sidechicks attached to each n every of them. Pls are those sidechicks ghosts or some of them are not on NL or among those insulting the op? Pls the insulters(insulting the op) should spare us of their hypocritical attitude, abeg.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE N INSULTS(LIKE I SAID INSULTS ARE ALLOWED,because MOST NL ADVICE ARE ABUSIVELY MOLDED)SINCERELY SPEAKING .....I appreciate this forum and all d pple dat replied, thou some tout is a make up story, but you really can't tell how you've all saved a confused soul.More grease to ur elbow the moderators.MY HEAD IS STRAIGHTEN NOW.

[quote author=silverr post=38284761]Dear victoria91,
I understand you well well, I've been in a very similar case. This Bobo just left me to fall in love finish before telling me he's married with 3 kids.

I initially felt the same way you feel, I was ready to marry him especially as he also told me how it was a one night stand and she got pregnant and his conscience and family couldn't let him kick her out. He claimed the other set of twins were born cus the lady got desperate after 4yrs of him not even kissing her and drugged him. So I felt: this woman wicked o! So what I wish to do can be forgiven after all she trapped a man against his wish. But......... for the love I have for God, I refused to be the tool karma/the devil will use against her. That's how I backed out.

E pain me o, I cried to myself for weeks. Only for me to find out when I was coming out of the trauma that my so called Mr right was dating my friend and had made docs for her to fly out of the country (she was already pregnant sef). I went into another shock. For like 2yrs +, I was forming I don't need love.

Now, the guy I'm dating is 10x better than my ex and he's single with no strings attached. Could I ever have forgiven if I went to be 2nd wife for a lesser man? Did I say the energy of those lonely years took my biz to a new height?

Please learn from me and don't quote me.[/quote
]...NOTED.THANK U

KiidaACE:
Seriously,,,as much as you repulse me right now,,i cant help but feel your pain.
GOSH i detest senseless girls,,buh i'm gonna spare you any harsh words and give you a good advice.
.
.
You'll be wicked to be the reason another woman's home is destroyed..i know you love the nigga,but according to your story,i think you love him more for his looks and money.
He isn't the only guy in the world you know.And what baba God would have expected from you would be to advice him against leaving his wife and break up with him..
Even the bible said the first wife of a man remains his only wife until death..
So even if you get married to him,im sorry to say that you will never be recognised by God as his wife.
I know its a hard decision but,
think of your future
think of the future of the mans kids.
Think of the future of the man's wife.
Say no to sidechicking.
And make the right decision.
#jah bless#

Walahi, My bended head has started to be straightened with all this abuse,,,haba Nairalander anyways i appreciate you for your advise.U have really talked to me like a sister and i really wish my other 'roasters'congrat in advance....they have waited late overdue.

I once said abuse is allowed......is not my fault, all blames on blind love. :-

MrsChima:
It is okay to fall in love but you don't have to act on those feelings. I have had thoughts of killing a bish and felt like killing the bish but, I didn't act on it.
Apply that and move on. You will always be second fiddle.

Thank you.I
appreciate your kind advice

Dear NL,

I'm 25 years old, I met this guy online via chatting and before i knew, we met and we fell deeply in love.This guy is irresistible when we met and i never prayed for something more, because he was so caring, lovely and loving, not only that he is so tall and handsome as i have always prayed for. After a month we knew each other better and every minute i rang him up, he later told me and revealed to me everything about him, because he is not the flamboyant type of guy, i hardly notice that he is loaded.

At age 33 he has a lot of properties and work with a Ministry in Lagos, seconded employment with one int'l institution, he got me int'l passport and took me out of Nigeria shore for the first time in my life. I am from an average family and I'm not easily moved with material things, I'm a working class lady earning moderate salary and living well, i had a relationship before him but not a stable one.

He later revealed to me that he has something to tell me that might tear us apart, i made up my mind since it would not lead to my death, i bet i have reached my bus stop, because he is also in love with me. What a perfect match!. Until the day he bursted it out that he is married with kids and he was sweating and breathing so restlessly, waiting for me to breakup with him, i reassured him i will still love him at that, he explained he impregnated the girl and his family forced him to marry the girl...in short, three kids, two boys and a girl from the woman,(first boy and a twins).

I almost fainted, but pretended as if all is well, at least he still managed to tell me to let me decide to continue or not. We both continued and this month make our 6th month and he is already talking about our marriage, he tried divorcing the first wife, but get warned to let her be to make peace reign, i noticed he loves me so much and also loves his children too well too. He is traveling out soon to study for his PH.D. He wants me to get pregnant for him and do the needful with my family and declare his intentions of taking me as his second wife to his first wife and family...But at this stage i have doubting mind maybe i'm ready to go on or not..i don't feel like ruining the woman's home, and i don't feel like losing this my sweet love, he is not forcing me and he wants me to decide for myself....

Please help me dearies, abuse are allowed at least maybe it will straighten my brain..but i sincerely love him, he promised to settle me down in another state and assured me that all will be well.The issue is i'm so CONFUSED.

Congrat ....Looking forward to c a day like diz too.

Timely post,let me quickly drop my ego n call my baby boo to break the silence. Nice one Op

R.I.P to the dead souls.

Uhnmmm......