₦airaland Forum

Hathor5:
1. An addict can only be helped if he acknowledges his addiction. Many addicts live in denial for a long time.

2. If he acknowledges his addiction, he needs a rehab. You and family can't help him.

3. A recovered alcohol addict must never drink again, not even one drop or he will relapse.

Do you have children?

two kids

ojun50:
I will advise you info the family, someone he listen to or church leaders and lastly pray and help him out

I did report to his family in 2018 which the condemned his act even in my presence though the knew he had such character before. he was angry I did and told me recently that since I told them what has changed

Hathor5:
When you talk to him, what does he say? Does he admit to his problem or does he deny it? Is he aware of his addiction or in denial mode/playing it down?

if I talk to him about it with all his attention but will only say has had me within 2 months he drinks much again from one event. even when I reported to his famiy he told me and I quote" after reporting wat happened "

Hathor5:
Don't take it personally dear. It's in to blame women for everything on this forum. These people have made perfect choices and live perfect lives so they won't understand.

How often does your husband drink? What does he drink?

if he buys drink fr himself he goes fr his gauge 3 bottles but when he goes to an event where there is excess drink, my God he will be feeling like getting all the drinks into his mouth that's where the lack of self control comes in

Ishilove:
Yes, putting God first in everything is the way to go, BUT He will not come down from His throne to solve our problems for us. That is why he gave us brains to carry out his will. The OP needs PRACTICAL solutions in addition to prayers.

that practical solution is what I really need cos even if am angry and keep malice with him anything he does so he will never ask fr forgiveness and we look fr a better way forward what he will say is " getting drunk is the sweetness of drink

tripplephi:
1) find the root cause of the problem.... he may have other deep issues that you have not cared to consider and his only escape is alcohol

2) be very prayerful (so he does not loose his life in such debauchery, and also so he changes his bad association or friends)

3) you both need COUNSELING.... a happy home will not be like this.... obviously he does not COMMUNICATE with you, he only TALKS TO YOU. So you are not his confidant.

4) MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, talk with him and let him open up to you... it won't be easy but it would help

5) HONOR AND RESPECT HIM, no matter what happens, do not loose respect for your man, he is all you've got

6) PROTECT his image the best way you can, and you can also ask his family for help.

7) Read Books, Blogs and attend conferences on FAMILY, HOME, RELATIONSHIPS


Heed these 7 instructions and things will begin to change

though am doing all this thanks anyway

gaius01:
I like your name, to be sincere nothing can change such conditions unless God intervene. Na prayer get you, pray and seek for somebody who will help you pray.

someone like who the thing is getting to me badly anything he is drunk I don't sleep so he doesn't mess my things or kids

ojun50:
Madam you say wetin ... urine for bed kwa.....

OK let start from here, what is his age range?
how long have you guys being married

he is 39 married for 3 yrs plus

UDUJ:
Did he just start drinking alcohol or this has been happening for a longtime now? Majority of times when a man is depressed he turns to alcohol.

Do you know the source of his depression? Is it lack of finance, being out of a job or are you also contributing through constant nagging and belittling the man? Give us honest answers if you need our help.

I believe it has been in him cos when I complained to his brother he told me that that is one habit that everybody in the family keep complainibg about him that the thought he would change after getting married to someone he loves so it has nothing to do with me which he knows is just that he hid that side of him when we were dating

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

my dear wat you see in relationship is different from marriage we dated fr 9 months before marriage we didn't live together I only visit and during does time God be my witness he didn't show such and when we got married nothing changed in me he do tell me how lucky he his to have so it is not from me

Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.