Lolz, ops you just the rake like person wey one poor man pregnant im only daughter.the deed has been done already pls calm down

Congrats kingdom

paschalineorji25@gmail.com

it is well dear, the lord who kept you alive all these years and times will perfect his works in ur life

08032053955

08032053955

Richy4:
Some Nigerian Human Resources are just irresponsible...infact they are not human and they have no resources.... I mean who does a thing like this? same day interview?

What about other commitment the person may have planned to do? is it because there are high level of unemployment in Nigeria that they have to do a thing like this?...They can't put others into consideration. ..

that's what baffles me

Good evening house, I got a message at 10:23 am this morning about interview from pharma ethics stating that they will hold an online interview same today at 3:55pm but I was not in reach of my phone since morning and on getting my phone the time for the interview had past. pls did any one get such message?

gmail is saying that the email does not exist

zanjorrg:


You can now retrieve your lost lines. Just go to Mtn office with your national I d card or any valid I d card plus ur NIN incase you don't have the hard copy of it.

thanks

Good evening house please i lost my simcard today is there any possibility of doing a welcome back this week and if possible what are the requirements thanks

interested 08032053955

fellow nairalanders am in need of ajob b.sc biochemistry I need income to support hubby and kids

same here I have acomodation

08032053955

thunder fire your left yansh

nwanyi idi wicked

OcVoice:


I'm seeing this late and it has gotten to page 12. I hope you see and read my submission.

Do not mind anybody condemning you about not seeing the signs while dating or courting! Human beings are very deceptive. People show their real self after marriage, which you don't see during courtship. It is not your fault and No marriage is ever perfect!

Now, you have to be proactive. Take charge. Be his guide! When he wants to go out to drink, follow him. Sit beside him. Don't let him take above normal. If he's going out the next day, lock the door, don't let him go. Cry if you have to! Kneel and plead with him, if need be caress him and take him to bed! The urge for alcohol would die that moment and maybe come up the next day, about same time. Don't let him drink everyday. Any day you choose to allow him go, then follow him there and control the amount he takes.

You need to fight this through together. You should also pray hard. Though prayers without work will yield nothing. The work is what I explained above. With time, he will adjust. He might not stop, but he needs to control it.

The reason for wetting the bed is because he drinks late. Adults are advised to take in less liquid or none at night. My aged mom doesn't take any liquid as from 6pm.

In all, take charge! Be the man! Carry the cross! You will win!

Sorry!!

thanks

HRMK:
he wasnt doing this before getting married to him?or u were blinded with money!nawa for una!!

what is ur problem is it that you don't know how to read or you don't understand after reading

noblebaba:
hmm, I was once in this situation but not to the extent of bed-wetting, my sister you're the only one that can change him, mine started when the company I was working with folded up and couldn't get another job because of my age, though not too old but Nigeria company hardly employ above 40yrs i was so frustrated and became a drunkard and my wife did not help matters the more she's hostile the more I drink I was so depressed the more she reports me to my family the more I drink and what I always tell people is that she's the only one that can make me change, if you talk to him and show him love I bet you he not only change you will know why he behaves like that, men will like to be respected pray over it and God will take control, today I hardly go out talkless of drinking my health is sound now compared to then let him know the implications on his health, I changed because my wife shows love and i don't want to hurt her. nothing is impossible for God.

did you drink to stupor when you see free drinks or you drink to stupor with your money

toye440:
Bae the truth is u knew about his slushed lifestyle before u married him. But as they say " Love is blind, marriage na eye opener".

He's phlegmatic, and i pray it doesnt degenerate to physical abuse. well its ur cross and the only way out is to find those he respects or listen to, like his father to wade in or u stylishly invite his mother to come visit even for a day.

Seriously i salute ur courage and patience, cos the present 9ja babe would hv checked out or filed for divorce. He's lucky to hv u.

for one hundred and one million time he never showed those signs when we were dating if you read earlier I mentioned he only gets drunk when he sees free drinks mostly in occasion and when we were dating we do go out but I never went to an event with him

HabaHaba:


Well for me, I'd say, monitor when he's about to go out for drinks just join him to his drinking so you can monitor his drinking and tell him it's enough when he's gone past 3 bottles.

Normally, it all depends on his current number of bottles. If he's used to take like 7 bottles, try to ENCOURAGE him lovingly to start reducing it from 5 after about 2 weeks to 3 ans pleas leave at that level of 3 bottles.
If man no drink, oe smoke, no womanize what other joy dey life for an adult man?

The point is for a spouse that u want to help quit or reduce addiction, only love could be deployed with wisdom.

Then lovingly sit him down and explain the cost implications of his drinking spree and of course the various things he should ha e achieved with the saved money.

Also, try to make him see how much his absence is affecting the children who truly deserve his attention and fatherly discipline and love.

Abeg lemme allow other wise NLders contribute.

NOTE : U can never force anyone to stop an addiction abruptly, but you can make visible progress by showering him with understanding and less nagging.

Men adjust when showed true understanding by their women.

Wish u the best dear wifey.

Peace

it has happened many times I will just text him right there I am with him to stop drinking that he is over reacting, he will just disregard my message and still drink the amount he wants

Pancakeey:
Hello virtuoswoman, I just want you to know that everything would be fine in the end. And if it’s not fine, it’s not the end yet.

I know most people would say pray about it and yes you should but then why not go physical too.
It’s obvious your husband has a drinking problem that can’t be solved by just scolding him. Take him to a rehabilitation center. There are drugs and injections they give to people who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs.

This injections reduces the urge to take alcohol and when it wears off your husband might go back to drinking but be consistent, with time it’ll be better just see a doctor.

Plus try to be nice, there should be a reasonable reward for anytime he fights the urge to drink.

thanks is there such rehab center in Lagos if any pls do mention

bukatyne:


I have read all your posts and summarized that:

1. He has self control when he is at the bar (buying with his money) or at home (also with his money);

2. He goes gaga when he sees free drinks (the way done others eat to stupor in a party);

3. He sees nothing wrong with what he does. Thus is largely because you clean up after him.

In addition to prayers (prayers is key), stop rewarding or enabling his excesses.

Whatever he does in his drunkenness, leave him there. If he bed wetted or any other thing, leave him that way.

If he is not getting the message that you would no longer condone his drinking, explore joining forces with a doctor or police or mortuary attendants.

Do something to wake him up.

God forbid his kidneys fail or liver damaged, you would be the one running around to care for him.

exactly, am scared what if he gets drunk and while coming back has an accident what will I do with my kids, the taught of me being jobless fr now how do I fend fr my kids.

Richy4:
God!! I feel sorry for you OP.. U should realise that alcoholism is a disease just like cancer or any other disease.

There's nothing that u can do.. except if the sufferer (your husband) agreed that indeed he needed help. It has to come within.. I don't even know if there are rehab in Nigeria

But while staying in that relationship, u can

<<<Invest time with your children/ extended family..try your best to act like you were not bothered..

<<<< keep loving him but sometimes when he is sober have a heart to heart talk about how this is making u feel in your marriage. Choose your words carefully so that he won't go on defence..

<<<< Do not cover for him.. let consequences happen.. that might help him change.. don't tell lies to cover for him..

<<<<Take care of yourself.. that is the most important.. and go to google and find out how some people cope when dealing with spouse who were alcoholic.. It will make u have the feeling that you were not alone on this... Goodluck

thanks a lot dear

Highesschief1:
So sorry about your situation, I have seen a lot of the advice people gave but you need to do something practical here..
You will need the family doctor or any doctor he trust to work with you on this.. The doctor will check and tell him that his liver is going bad already and with any bottle he takes he is going closer to his grave that he has less than a year to live unless he stops drinking the liver will not recover but if he continues drinking that he will die in less than a year.
On your part you should arrange a temporary break up tell him you are not ready to be a widow but since he is ready to die and leave you with the kids you might as well start getting ready for a life without him.
The fear of losing his life, kids and wife will sobber him up fast.
Good luck as you try this, it worked on some one I know

we are under NHIS and not assigned a personal family doctor

benzinoman:
Arrange 10k, look for any police van to lock him up in thier cell when he is drunk. When he wakes up tell him d police found him in a gutter and that they said the next time they see him in d gutter its strait to prison.

thanks

jesmond3945:
he has become addicted and an addicted would also make the decision to stop. You can help him by making sure he has no access to anything like alcohol. For example whenever he buys, don't allow him to drink, go ahead and break the bottle. If possible cut down on events. The key is make sure he has little access to drinks. You can also bombard him with the side effects of drinking. Let his brain rewire. It would help him make that decision to stop.

he does not drink execess when he goes to the bar on his own he only does not have self control when he sees too many drinks like in an event. secondly how do you expect me to stop a full grown man from going to an event

gulfer:
Answer this questions @OP, does he work, if yes what type of job does he have

he is a federal govt worker