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WOMEN INFIDELITY

Women’s relationships today follow a very
predictable pattern:

They push men for commitment

They get what they want

They lose interest in sex

They become attracted to someone else

They start cheating (emotionally and/or physically)

They begin telling their partners that they need time apart

They blame their partners for their behavior…and eventually, after an unusually long time of vacillating back and forth; they end their relationships or marriages.  

If you’re a male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife’s or girlfriend’s seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a “good girl.” Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives’ and girlfriends’ infidelities.

If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be “not the type” who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you’re shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can’t stop cheating.

Women’s relationships and marriages will continue to follow this same pattern unless we develop an accurate understanding of females ─ particularly in regard to their sexuality. In fact, after researching female infidelity for almost fifteen years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous.

The media has finally begun to acknowledge, albeit to a small degree, the widespread problem of female infidelity. Recently, several books and articles have attempted to explain why women are now cheating as much as men. However, very important pieces to this extremely complicated puzzle continue to be left out. The reason is twofold: some who write and speak about this subject haven’t done enough research, so consequently they simply regurgitate old, outdated information that has little to do with the real reasons women cheat; others obviously want to avoid controversy and are afraid to disclose certain key pieces of information because the truth is so contrary to our current beliefs. Unfortunately, without these missing pieces, it’s impossible to understand, and to subsequently fix, the real problem occurring in relationships today.

 

My Story:

Shortly after my 27th birthday, I began to feel very different. I had been happily married for 4 years and then, suddenly out of nowhere, I began feeling bored and unhappy. In an attempt to figure out what was causing my unhappiness, I looked for answers in books, tried to talk to my Mother and eventually went to see a psychologist. All of the information I received attributed the way I was feeling to my husband, and similar to the majority of women, I began to view my husband as the culprit too.

Currently, women are initiating 70 – 75% of all divorces

Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it’s quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference – a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.

The “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships

Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed. I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.

Stage 1

Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted—a home, a family, a great husband—but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter. They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violated when their husbands touch them. Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.

Stage 2

Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a “new” man involves sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters. Many women in this stage haven’t felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships are sexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands. Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling likea hypocrite. They feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. Reflecting society’s belief that women are either “good” or “bad,” women will question their “good girl” status and feel that they might not be deserving of their husbands. Many will try to overcome feelings of guilt by becoming more attentive toward and appreciative of their husbands. However, over time many women will move from appreciation to justification. In order to justify their continued desire for other men, women will begin to attribute these desires to needs that are not being met in their marriage, or to their husband’s past behavior. Many women will become negative and sarcastic when speaking of their husbands and their marriages and it is not uncommon for an extramarital affair to follow.

Stage 3

Women at Stage 3 are involved in affairs, ending affairs, or contemplating divorce. Women who are having affairs experience feelings unlike anything they have experienced before. They feel “alive” again and many believe they have found their soul mates. These women are experiencing feelings associated with a chemically altered state, or what is typically referred to as being in love. These women are also typically in tremendous pain, the pain of choosing between their husbands and their new love interests. They typically believe that what they are doing is wrong and unfair to their husbands, but yet are unable to end their affairs. Many often try several times. Prior to meeting with their lovers, they will vow that it will be the last time, but they are unable to stick with their decisions. Unable to end their extramarital relationships, women at Stage 3 conclude that their lovers are soul mates because they are unaware that they have become addicted to the high caused by chemicals released during the initial stages of a relationship. Many live in a state of limbo for years. “Should I stay married or should I get a divorce?” this is the question continuously on the minds of women at Stage 3 – it is also common for women at this stage to attempt to initiate a separation. In most cases, husbands of women at Stage 3, will launch futile attempts to make their wives happy by being more attentive, spending more time at home and helping out around the house. Regardless of women’s past and present complaints, the last thing women at Stage 3 want, is to spend more time with their husbands. The reason many women will give for their desire to separate is a “search for self.” They convince their husbands that they might be able to save their marriage if they can just have time to themselves. They tell their husbands that time apart is the only hope of improving their current situation. Women at this stage want to free themselves of the restrictions of marriage and spend more time with their lovers. Most think that eventually their confusion will disappear. They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers. Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with their lovers without giving up the security of their marriages. Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs. Their lack of suspicion is typically due to their wife’s disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a “good girl.”Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision. They may have been involved with single men who either lost interest because the relationship could not progress or who became attracted to another women who was single. Women whose affairs are ending often experience extreme grief. They may become deeply depressed and express tremendous anger toward their husbands. They are typically unaware that they are experiencing chemical withdrawal due to sudden changes in their brain chemistry. As a result, many will feel that they have missed their chance at happiness due to their indecisiveness. Believing they have become more aware of what they want and need from a mate, women at this stage will often place the utmost importance on finding a ”new” relationship that will give them the feeling they experienced in their affairs. Anew relationship with a new partner will also represent a clean slate, a chance for these women to regain their “good girl” status. Some women will search for new partners during their separations. Others will return to their marriages, but not emotionally and still continue to search. Some women will resume sporadic sexual relations with their husbands in an effort to safeguard their marriage until they make a decision. Although they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on.

Stage 4

The women in stage four included those who chose to stay married and continue their affairs and those who chose to divorce. Some of the women who continued their affairs stated that marital sex was improved by maintaining the extramarital relationship. Some thought the lover was a soul mate, but for one reason or another did not leave their husband and did not feel torn between the two. Others realized that their feelings were intensified by not sharing day-to-day living arrangements with their lover. Almost all of the women in this latter category were having affairs with married men. They believed their affairs could continue indefinitely without disrupting either partner’s primary relationship. The women who chose divorce and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship typically expressed relief at having finally made a decision and reported feeling normal again. Many of the divorced women who had remarried and were several years into their new marriages seemed somewhat reluctant to talk about the specifics of their past experiences. However, they did mention feelings of guilt and regret for having hurt their children and ex-spouses only to find themselves experiencing similar feelings in the new relationship.

Female infidelity will not only continue to be extremely common but it will also continue to be on the rise.

Women are cheating and relationships are ending because men and women lack necessary information. The information in Women’s Infidelity should be common knowledge to couples, both married and unmarried, and to dating males and females. Trying to have a relationship today without the information in this book is like to trying to read without knowing the letters of the alphabet. This is not an exaggeration ─ it’s a fact.

 
Source:http://womensinfidelity.com/

Wishing all HAPPY INDEPENDENCE... God bless Nigeria! God bless us the citizens!! And God's peace reigneth on every facet in the country!!! Nigeria... Great Nation... Happy people

Wishing all HAPPY INDEPENDENCE... God bless Nigeria! God bless us the citizens!! And God's peace reigneth on every facet in the country!!! Nigeria... Great Nation... Happy people

So the camerounian army no get liver to publicise ahm its now the job of the journalist,anyway let's hope the info is true because the authencity of the information is the beginning of jubilation. Make I first chill dey sip my hernessy with kolanut

Much ado has been made about recent events in South Africa concerning the Nigerian-owned jet that was found loaded with millions of dollars and that was in the process of procuring arms and a fighter helicopter for the Nigerian military and security agencies.

As a former Minister of Aviation, I wish to assure the general public that the flying of large sums of cash by security and intelligence agencies for the purchase of arms in a time of war and conflict is something that is quite normal and that it happens quite often. As a matter of fact, it happened under successive Nigerian governments, both military and civilian.



Obviously in the case of the jet that flew to South Africa with 9.3 million USD, there must have been a breakdown of communication between the South African authorities and ours and a few lapses in procedure here and there which is what has led to the seizure of the money and all the ensuing suspicion and confusion. However, the idea that there was anything untoward or sinister about the whole transaction has no basis in logic, sense or rationality. Perhaps the only failing was the fact that the cash was not declared to South African Customs as is required by law.

The fact that our intelligence agencies have said that they were the ones that sent the money and that they have told us what it was for is good enough for me. It appears to me that this was a lawful and legitimate exercise and that there is nothing for anyone to worry about. I am aware of the fact that the British, the French, the American, the Chinese, the Israeli, the Saudi Arabian and the Russian intelligence and security agencies, amongst many others, have indulged in such covert ”cash for arms” transactions on numerous occasions in different parts of the world.

They either sell such arms at short notice and off the cuff or they procure them for themselves or for unknown third parties. Even the South Africans themselves have done so on numerous occasions in the past.These are legitimate transactions that are covert and secret in nature but they are certainly not illegal.

Such is the murky and dark world of intelligence and security worldwide. There is plenty that we do not know about their day-to-day operations and they have their own unique way of doing things. We should not assume the worst or constantly denigrate them simply because we are not familiar or comfortable with their modus operandi. Suffice it to say that anyone that is in the process of getting arms to help our boys at the war front to fight Boko Haram and protect our citizens and our country ought to be regarded as heroes and not villains.

The attempt by certain elements in the opposition and the Nigerian media to stigmatise all those involved in this transaction and make the whole thing appear like something that is out of the ordinary or sordid and criminal in nature really does nauseate me. Those who know no better ought to appreciate the fact that this is how the real world operates and they should learn to live with it.

The Nigerian intelligence services operate in no different a way to their colleagues in the international community and they do so with as much patriotism, professionalism and commitment as their counterparts from other parts of the world. And yes, we do have our very own ”James Bonds” in our intelligence services even though, more often than not, they are not recognised, celebrated or appreciated. I counsel that we should cut these men and women that work in the shadows and in secrecy some slack and that we should not be too quick to label them as sleazy rogues who are attempting to indulge in all manner of criminal activities.

Gun running
Since we are on this topic, I would like to take this opportunity to say one or two things about the way in which Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor, the President of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), has been villified, maligned and treated with the utmost disdain and contempt in this and other matters by elements within the leading opposition party in our country.

The truth is that, contrary to what some of the leading lights in the opposition would have us believe, he is not an arms smuggler, a money launderer, a murderer or a Boko Haram sponsor. Going to a foreign land and telling the parliament of that country that the President of CAN in Nigeria is the head of Boko Haram, as one or two of them have just done, is not only a pernicious and vicious lie but it is also utterly shameful and disgraceful. Worst of all, it is an affront to the Christian community in Nigeria and a reckless provocation.

On the South African matter, it is clear that Pastor Oritsejafor was not the owner of the 9.3 million USD and neither was he aware that the cash was being flown on the plane. Though he has confirmed that he was the owner of the plane, he has also pointed out the fact that he had leased it out to a company on a long term basis who were themselves subleasing it out to other companies for regular trips.

He has also said that he had no idea about who they were subleasing it to, where they were flying it to or who or what they were carrying in it in any of their operations. The two companies that were involved, both the one that leased it from Oritsejafor and the one that subleased it from them for the journey to South Africa, have since confirmed and corroborated what he has said. In my view, that ought to settle the matter. Yet some people, fuelled and egged on by a ravenous and desperate opposition, have refused to let go of the matter and allow sleeping dogs to lie.

Those in our land trying to divide our ranks and denigrate us by alleging that Oritsejafor is involved in gun-running, money-laundering, Boko Haram or any other filthy and unsavory criminal activity are the lowest of the low. They are wicked and cruel and I have no doubt that such people are in desperate need of prayer.

They need deep intercession and deliverance from the demons that have taken control of them and that are using them. The truth is that it is a grave insult to the Christian community for anyone to suggest that the leader of the umbrella organisation of the over 80 million-strong Christian faithful in Nigeria is a sponsor of a vicious and barbaric Islamist sect that has killed and abducted more Christians and burnt more churches than any other terrorist organisation in the history of the African continent.

Stirring the hornet’s nest

The same people may as well tell us that the leaders of the Christian community in Syria and Iraq are the ones behind ISIS. They can also tell us that the Christian leaders in their respective countries are the ones behind Al Shabab, the Taliban, the Al Nusra Front, Islamic Jihad, Al Qaeda, Daesh, and all the other terrorist organisations that have recently afflicted the world with their vile inhumanity, their sheer evil and their venal barbarism.

It is only in Nigeria that the leadership of the Christian community would be accused, by a supposedly serious-minded opposition, of wanting to wipe out the Christian faith, wanting to kill all the Christians and moderate Muslims in the country and wanting to establish an Islamic fundamentalist state where 6th century Sharia law applies, where little girls are subjected to serial r*pe and where women are enslaved.

Calling the President of CAN a money-launderer and arms-smuggler and accusing him of murder and sponsoring terror will not help to create religious harmony in our country. As a matter of fact, it will completely destroy it. Those that are doing so and the political party that is stirring up the hornet’s nest and encouraging them ought to think very carefully about the implications of what they are doing.

Religious agenda

We know that they have a religious agenda but they should not take this too far or push us to the wall. Our meekness and humility should not be taken for weakness or stupidity. It is in their own interest and in the interest of the unity of our nation for them to leave the President of CAN alone before matters get out of hand and before all hell breaks loose.

He deserves to be accorded the same level of respect from the Muslim community in our country as the Sultan of Sokoto, the leader of the Muslims in Nigeria, is accorded by Christians. What is good for the goose is surely good for the gander. A word is enough for the wise.


http://www.informationng.com/2014/09/the-cash-the-jet-and-pastor-ayo-oritsejafor-by-fani-kayode.html

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