₦airaland Forum

Whew! So I sat in a chair from dawn till noon and read every single page of this series. They've said it all Roy, u've got some prose muscles up your sleeve. Keep up the good work bro.

Applause Nonso, a no-nonsense poem well spun! abeg, give it a title.

Have u ever been hit by the magnitude of death violence, mostly senseless and baseless, has caused especially in our 'mother-land', Nigeria? Do you know what it means to loose family members, relatives and friends 'cause some asinine gun-trigger chaps decide to vent their anger on humanity for no just reason? With the poem below, I start my campaign against violence in Nigeria and in the world. This effort may not go far to achieve the desired result but however you view it, that is how it would turn out to be. We can join hand, rather, poetic muse in unity and fight against violence. Cheers.

I hope for a day in my father's land
When I hold my head high up in the sky
And be proud to be called Nigerian.

I hope for a day in my mother's land
When I'll be treated equally
By my neighbours next door.

I hope for a day in my place of birth
When I can go up north
Without fear for my life.

A day when my fellow brothers
Would discover the purpose of their existence
And drop their arms in reminiscence

A day when we'll all leave the battle field
To return to the fruitful field
And sow seeds of national development.

A day when the pot-bellied men
Would return to their farms
And their canoes.

I hope for a day
The colour of my skin
Would not matter to my people

On that day,
My religion would barely be noticed

On that day,
My foreign alma mater wouldn't matter

On that day,
There would be hope for all

That day would put an end to violence
And corruption.

A day we'll all say
Shalom!


For more poems (non-necessarily anti-violence) kindly visit: http:///lx3ffp5 (source)

timpaker:
Lonely paddle
On a calm wave
Stroke after stroke
The journey never ends
Infinite sight hides
Behind the sunset and
The big yellow ball smiles
At my face - where is home?
East, West, North or South?
Where is land?
Under the ocean?
I'm gonna loose my mind
And...
(Silence)
Where am I?
Desert-sea?

Lol...quite dramatic. Love the imagery. It bring the poem to life.

Times change
Seasons change
As days roll by
So do seasons stroll by
Summer arrives in the fore-noon
With good-tiding of crispy hair
Nay bald oily reflections
Of the sun above.
Then comes the rains of terror
Sweeping the filth of our streets
Along with our homes and beds
While innocent men peacefully sleep
Floating o'er oceans and continents
Only to sink in a pool of sweet sleep.

One poem for the road
A toast to a sunny day
A toast to my burnt hairs
A toast to my fellow poet
Badmusace, I feel your pain.
Cheers.

badmusace: Ur poem reminds me of a poem I wrote earlier ds year. Similar subject but instead of abortion, the subject of mine was miscarriage and it was from an omnipresent(?) point of view.

Here it is, enjoy!

MISCARRIAGE
Sent out in millions
On a deathly race in a dark moist chamber;
One price, one winner.
Swimming blindly to hit the target-
Their price.
Only the first will be spared;
Even the second will be left for death,
Disposed off like the others- all failures.
Soon fused is the winner and the price
Into one.
A life formed
A life begun
The dead is not mourned, but forgotten
Life prevails, joy ensues.

Friction, rift, rancour;
Harsh verbal missiles thrown;
Only to find out words are not enough.
Physical missiles soon launched;
Culminating to an innocuous strike.
Wrong target struck!
Proven deadly
Crushing and shattering the shell
Its contents dripping in red
Murder! Murder! Of the unborn and unseen!
A life lost
A life ended
The dead is mourned and not forgotten
Death prevails, sadness ensues.
- Badmusace

Well-spun piece however, you may have to shed light on the second stanza. Didn't get the full message.
Thanks for your contribution. U have added +1 to my knowledge

ayd91: "The noise tickled my ear
I hear the popular sound once more
I have grown accustomed to it
Since the fateful night I was discovered"

what sound? Sound of rape?

I don't seem to understand the link with the eventual termination.

The unborn: unpublished memoir. if I come up with a better one I'll share it.

Yeah. The to-be dad wasn't ready to be a dad so he asked the to-be mum to terminate the child. She refused, they fought frequently on the issue. That's the 'popular sound'. She later gave in and aborted the foetus. I'm sure u understand the moral of the poem.
Thanks for ur suggestions. I thought abt the title: 'Tears of an unborn' or 'words from the grave'. Though, I'm still open to suggestions.

ayd91: Your poem has a nice concept.
I feel your title is too long. I thought the poem was rather long but its a sought of memoir so its justifies.
Your ending leaves me wondering. Who died? The narrator or his mum (that's if indeed there was a death.)

Lol... thanks for your contribution. The last line: 'today my mother killed me' rightly suggests that the child (unborn) not it's mother was killed. Giving a short title such as 'abortion' may make the reader less inquisitive and expectant. Your suggestions for an alternative title would be appreciated.

njokusboy: Wow, me likey... I could just feel it.. Nice..

Thanks Njoku. Really appreciate your comment.

25 dozen days save five
Did I start this journey
Down this old familiar road
Everyone takes a bumpy road
Just different streets and avenues
Some come at a cross-road
And breakdown never to rise
Others reach a close
And never turn back
Some others carry a dagger along
Stabbing every demon that dares them.
I heard the myth at every crossover
The stories about the dead
The ones that were crushed
Even the ones that slept into death
Haa...did u see some drop from the sky?
Showers of metallic death!
I live to hear and tell the familiar story.
Glory be to him who glory belongs to.
I knew I was to pass through fire
As gold passeth through fire
12 gates stood ahead of me
I had to wield the dagger of faith
And break down every gate.
This was no playstation game
It was my life!
The eleventh gate have I crushed
I bursted through it like a mad prophet
Only to genuflect before the great I am
To be with me as I walk pass
The twelveth gate of hell...


A happy month to you
See you at the end of the gate where we shall cross-over.

Joshthefirst: ?

Piping hot yam?

There's no harm in improvising and developing a new form of poetry. Talk about *kwanairasabaland* Let's start a poetic revolution!

Great poetic work y'all. Feeling the heat of poetry in this room. Would love to contribute someday. For now, #HumblyFollowing.

Don't mention Amber.

Amberacious,
There's *Something about You*
Something which I fail to understand
It evades me like a *Harmattan Rain*
Although *Respect is Reciprocal*
Permit me to humbly confess
You seem like my *Missing Lover*
I stand *Undefeated*
Having enjoyed your poetry.

Lol, Great collection.

I open my fluttering eyes
For the first time in my entire life
All around I see darkness
All I feel is numbness.
Today my life begins
Though no one knows yet
Except He who moulded me
He, who is I AM.
 
I am,
Nothing but a tiny being
But I know
I shall accomplish great things
Though my mother
Acknowledges not my presence yet
Though my father
Knows me not yet
I shall be known by the world
I have great dreams.
 
It's the third month.
My heart is much stronger.
It shall grow stronger till it tire
Until I'm old and weary
And lay in blissful rest.
 
I can't wait to come into the world
To stroke my mother's hair with my fingers;
To hug my father with my arms;
To pick flowers and decorate momma's hair;
To be a loving, caring and obedient daughter;
To be a leader who would deliver my people;
To lead them to victory;
To win battles and make my parents proud;
To experience true love;
To know what it means to be a mother;
Oh! How I love my parents
For giving me an opportunity to come to the world.
 
The noise tickled my ear
I hear the popular sound once more
I have grown accustomed to it
Since the fateful night I was discovered
By some old man poking my body
And a lucid object giving light to my darkness.
I felt a pain.
Is mother in danger?
I have to save her!
I have to protect her!
Kick as hard as you can
I have to come out and save mother.
Mother wait for me, I'm coming.
 
The noise stops suddenly
I hear the sound no more.
Stead I hear the sound of mom's weeping.
My heart weeps along with her.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you"
"But I promise"
"Till the day I die, no harm shall come your way"
"I shall protect you with my last drop of blood"
I wonder if she can hear me.
My hearty heart grows stronger everyday
Stronger for the battle ahead.
It beats, lub-dub, lub- dub.
 
Nevermore.
Today my mother killed me.



Copyright 2013
Voice of an Ink.

Mike, U've got a powerful plot told in a suspense-filled environment. The Naija setting immediately sparks a relationship with your audience on Nairaland. I just read the whole story from the first chapter so I may have to draw you back with my opinions and suggestions. In chapter 1, u made mention of Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. It would have been much better if you specified the particular location say, Kilometer 12 just to be more detailed. This is more so important as you later made mention of '500km away' where Michael was.

Also, the I think you should insert a little description of Michael such as his baby-looking innocent face when he was seen by the policeman. This would draw a sharp contrast between his character and his looks. It is a well known fact that looks do deceive.

Your use of flashback and suspense is commendable. A tremendous work by a terrific and dedicated writer. Please do finish this story of yours. Although comments are encouraging, they may not be a yardstick for measuring traffic on your story.

More ink to your pen,
Voice of an Ink.

READ MORE ON

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Visited your blog...it seems you are a master of captivating fictions. #Respect.

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Love the flow of emotions. Powerful imagery. This is spoken poetry itself on paper. Really sounded like a child from the womb. Wrote something similar sometimes ago titled 'the diary of an unborn child'. May create a thread on it.