₦airaland Forum

Thank you to everyone who gave some thought to my plight.

The case was thrown out of court without going to a jury trial today because there was insufficient evidence for a trial. Life has been almost unbearable for the past year or so. I will try and move on with my life now.

bixqo3:
It seems you're very proud of her lack of education, after all you married her. Let me guess you thot you could oppress an uneducated girl but it backfired, She's oppressing YOU!!!!!!!!!!

no thank you. we have actually resolved it now

Now that this is all out in the open my wife knows about it and she is standing by me. We have prayed that this bad period should blow over and I already promised God I will never cheat again no matter what my wife does.
She also feels bad because she realises that I would not have lefy home if she did not start the shouting again. We are hoping that we can start our lives anew.
Thanx to those who had harsh words for me because I deserve it. For those who think I should not have gone to marry an uneducated woman I can only say if you meet my son you will not be able to say such a thing again. He is the best boy in the world and I don't think it would have been good to make him a product of a broken home. On the whole I have regrets for going to a woman who is now trying to get me into trouble but I have no regrets for deciding to marry my wife.
I am awaiting a possible court appearance but I dont believe that I can be found guilty of something that I did not do. God is in perfect control.

I was detained by the police but now released on bail

I have to get ready to go to the police station now

i just dont think she gives me the chance to talk becos she starts shouting. when i got home from work 2 days ago she just started shouting even before i removed my tie and i had to leave because she was not going to stop.
i will listen if she talks to me. i'm not a lunatic

the older man i mentioned is the man i went to speak to yesterday

i did not say i am way older than her. she is only a few yrs younger than me

old enough to have a 13yr old and not that i started having children early

thanx. I have been trying to talk to her and it always ends up with more shouting maybe i am expecting too much too son but it is really eating away at me

I have been trying and I hope whe will stop it soon.

please help me radiant

that's why i hope that she will respect an older man and maybe calm down with the noise

is it better for me to be shouting with her as well?

in my present state 50 pounds will make the hole in my pocket much bigger.
I went to see and talk to an elderly nigerian christian man yesterday evening and he prayed with me to God. he said he will call my wife to speak with her. but its not the first time somebody has talked to her about this

she has been here for almost 2 yrs. its not been easy financially becos i am still to get my finances in good shape in 2 yrs.
my main problem at the moment is having to face the police today. please pray for me that God will help me through this period and i will seek wisodm in dealing with my wife or maybe we will have to just seperate

thanx. i'll take that on board. however if i did not see any positive in her i would not have married her

Absolutely nothing happened. she was tickling my ribs and I was tickling hers. we were both fully clothed and when she shouted for me to leave i left.
i also feel truly ashamed of myself for going to the woman but i know that what i need now are prayers that God will reveal the mischief of this woman and give me back my life.
my intention was also to try and get my wife educated but its not been easy becos shes not young anymore and she is not entitled to free education yet so if anything meaning will cost me a lot of money which i dont have at the moment

Please dont forget me in your prayers

to be honest I did not know what I was getting into when I married an uneducated woman. i did not associate that kind of behaviour with education or lack of it.
i cannot blame anyone but myself for turning up at an ex gfs house. i just feel that i would never have gne there if there was peace at home
i did not blame my mistakes on anyone. i take the blame for it becos i drove there myself i am just thinking that it may never have happened if she did not continually shout in the house.
its not nice to say my wife makes noise but she does. i cant deny it
i did not think i was disrespecting her by dancing with a colleague. she already met the colleague and the dance did not even last more than a minute or so I say that in truth be4 God

God is my witness that all I need was a place to rest after the day as my wife made the house too hot with her noise. Now i have more than my wife's noise to deal with

Thanx everyone. I have contacted a lawyer and he said I should not say anything except to confirm personal details for the police tomorrow. I went to her house like that. it's not the first time and when I got there she seemed happy enough to see me and I met her flatmate there who also seemed alright for me to be there.
I am a naturalised British citizen. I don't know the girl's medical history except that she used to smoke a lot of harsh. I believe she still smokes it.
I don't think she will have any evidence that anything happened. I was out of her house as soon as she changed her tone and said I should get out. I only picked up my phone. I did not force myself on her

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-147079.0.html

I married my wife and brought her from Nigeria. I had lived here for about 7 years before she came to join me and everytime we have a disagreement, she just screams and shouts. I absolutely hate shouting. She shouts about everything imaginable on earth and my house which had always been quiet is becoming a noisy one as a result of her arrival.

She is not an educated woman so this probably makes it more difficult because she doesn't seem to be able to help herself. Since Sunday there there have been arguments because we went to a party and I danced with one of my work colleagues. She said my colleague must be my girlfriend and we must have been doing things at work. The dance was less than a minute because she was even on her way out and this colleague lives with her boyfriend.
I got back from work yesterday and she started making noise about the same thing so I decided to go out anywhere at all. There was no where for me to go as I don't have many friends here and the one I wanted to go and meet was not at home. I say down in the car and decided to drive to one ex girlfriend's house as I was completely tired after a long day at work.
while in the girl's house we were playing and touching each other and she suddenly shouted that I should leave her home immediately. Thankfully nothing had happened between us so she can't scream rape or anything and her friend was also in the house.
That incident made me think that my wife is an agent of the devil in my life pushing me to do things I should not do. I pledged myself not to be unfaithful but she pushed me and only God knows what could have happened that night.
I am thinking of helping my wife to comlete the process for her to get papers in the country and telling her to go her own way because it's better if I'm single than to be in jail.
What do you guys think?
This is very serious and I am feeling completely depressed at the moment. Once when I tried to tell her family about this they sounded very hostile to me so I decided not to discuss anything with them again.

I got a call from the police this afternoon that the white ex has reported me for assault. I have to report to be interviewed by the police tomorrow afternoon. my world is exploding in my face

Yes I am for real and I am serious.
I just don't know how I got myself into this kind of mess. I did not ever think this can happen to me.
I have always lived my life by the law. No illegalities for me and certainly not something like assaulting a woman. I have never attacked any human being before not even a man.
I have not been able to talk to my wife since. and she does not know about all of this yet

I got a call from the police this afternoon that the white ex has reported me for assault. I have to report to be interviewed by the police tomorrow afternoon. my world is exploding in my face

Thanx. the problem is that whenever I try to tell her about her shouting she ends up shouting more. anytime I think there is a measure of peace and I try telling her that she can communicate without shouting it always ends up with more shouting.
To be honest I am at my wit's end at the moment and scared of what can happen to my health as a result of these incidents

I understand what you're all getting at. i am not claiming to be perfect but I did not set out to visit an ex. I had nowhere to go after the day's work and I was extremely tired. On second thoughts I could have parked the car on a side street and slept there but it didn't occur to me at the time.
I also knew she was not educated but I assumed that education will not be a factor in the relationship. I was mistaken. besides I did it mainly because we have a child together and I did not want my child growing up without both parents. I knew her long before I came abroad.

Thanx. it's true we did not court well enough but I have tried to tell her several times that I cant stand her shouting. a few other ppl have talked to her about it too. and I cant stay in the house with her shouting. it's just too much for me to stand

This is not a one off event. It has been persistent and it's what I hate the most in life and I did not jump into the arms of another woman. I had nowhere else to go and I wanted to get away from her noise.
Its not my intention to ever jump into any other woman's arms. otherwise I would not have married

I married my wife and brought her from Nigeria. I had lived here for about 7 years before she came to join me and everytime we have a disagreement, she just screams and shouts. I absolutely hate shouting. She shouts about everything imaginable on earth and my house which had always been quiet is becoming a noisy one as a result of her arrival.

She is not an educated woman so this probably makes it more difficult because she doesn't seem to be able to help herself. Since Sunday there there have been arguments because we went to a party and I danced with one of my work colleagues. She said my colleague must be my girlfriend and we must have been doing things at work. The dance was less than a minute because she was even on her way out and this colleague lives with her boyfriend.
I got back from work yesterday and she started making noise about the same thing so I decided to go out anywhere at all. There was no where for me to go as I dont have many friends here and the one I wanted to go and meet was not at home. I say down in the car and decided to drive to one ex gf's house as I was completely tired after a long day at work.
while in the girl's house we were playing and touching each other and she suddenly shouted that I should leave her home immediately. Thankfully nothing had happened between us so she cant scream rape or anything and her friend was also in the house.
That incident made me think that my wife is an agent of the devil in my life pushing me to do things I should not do. I pledged myself not to be unfaithful but she pushed me and only God knows what could have happened that night.
I am thinking of helping my wife to comlete the process for her to get papers in the country and telling her to go her own way because it's better if I'm single than to be in jail.
What do you guys think?
This is very serious and I am feeling completely depressed at the moment. Once when I tried to tell her family about this they sounded very hostile to me so I decided not to discuss anything with them again.

I'm really scared now