Anyway, I didn´t see any of his people behaving "sick" except of one, who tried to get money from me, but that was during our stay and I told him at once, so the one would not come anymore. So if it is no "cultural" thing, that perhaps it is not proper for me to talk to his male friends without him, because anyway, there were not many women (just boys in that household, no girls) around except for the pastors wife and the like, then it´s just simple he does not trust me.

@claremont, I do anyway. But I am sad, because I really liked his people and how should I look into the mirror, because I promised we come back and he doesn´t want to and I promised to stay in contact and he doesn´t want to, and the only explanation he gave me was "I know my people" and that I was to "sweet-tempered".

No, his uncles even both gave us very expensive wedding presents, I was really a little shy about that because I know, Nigeria is not that well with money usually and one of them came even to the airport to say goodbye, when I had to leave. And you know, I asked his mum straight, before we married, if it was ok for her and she said no, she supports the marriage. (Ähm, problems my family, not hers, they are very angry, but for this I am quite stubborn) (But if his mum had said no, I probably would not have married him anyway. I was quite releaved, when the rest of his relatives were very nice, when we got acquainted, invited us several times to there house and all saied, I should come back. Now it is him, who want´s to break the contact, except for his mother and I do not understand, anyway I liked his people and I liked his country, with all the problems Nigeria has.)

@Mrs.Chima: But he is just like that with his male friends/ family. He doesn´t complain me talking to his mother, with whom I come along quite well or his sister-in-law.

@r231: But I am not posting my name here anyway   , so how should he know. And this forum recommended a friend to me (ggggggg, for getting cooking receipts to improve my knowledge of nigerian cooking, can´t serve him our dishes all the time, can I? :-) ), anyway I just thought I could ask without my name, because I do not really understand his point. He didn´t really mind me talking to his people when I was there, although he always wanted to know what they asked, when he had to go out and some friend of him was with me all the time, when his mother or him were not around.

@190smh: You mean, he is afraid any of his own friends/ family could try to get between us But that is stupid. I am not the one to look for other men and that he knows, anyway in that case he would have more reason to be afraid of my own country´s men, wouldn´t he?

and, no, he is yoruba, and anyway it is somehow as if he was jealous about every other Nigerian man I get to know, althougt he is not about my country´s men, I asked for serious answers, because I try to understand that and as he is the only African man I ever knew, it is slightly difficult for me,

I asked for a serious answer, you know, in Nigeria he had no problem with me talking with people, he hasn´t here, too. It´s just that he doesn´t want me to talk to his people when I am not there?? Our marriage was no greencard thing (anyway it´s not called greencard in my country and he could have had one without a marriage, too.)

I am married with a Nigerian man and everything is ok with us. The only thing I do not understand ist ,that he doesn´t want me to have facebook or other contact with his friends and even his relatives I got to know, when we visited his family. I really do not understand this, because he is not like that with my friends and I liked talking with some friends of him very much. Lately, his uncle asked for friendship on fb and he didn´t even want me to add him! Now I wonder, if this is a cultural problem, you know, I do not want him to be angry with me, but I do not understand that. Can probably anybody tell me, if this is common among Nigerian men?

I didn´t meet my husband for 4 month, we talked online, mailed, phoned, no skype. The day we met first, he came there with a boyfriend. I looked at both of them and knew, who was him. It is only 8 month later, when we married. And I didn´t regret it ever since. If you ask me, why I fell in love with him, because of the way, we talked, because of his opinions, the way he looked at life, his straightness, him never shouting at me or being mean, I think the worst thing he ever said to me, when I was getting emotional in a discussion was "Consider, whom you are talking to." And I was ashamed and never lifted my voice again, because he was right. If you do love somebody, there´s no place for being impolite. Yes, you can fall in love with somebody, whom you have never seen, if both of you are open and do not pretend. Perhaps it is even like that, that not having seen somebody makes you concentrate on his personality, not on his looks. My husband said once: I wouldn´t have looked at you, if we had passed by on the street, because for sure we were not each other´s "type". But we looked into what we are before we met. That made a big difference.