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Foreign Affairs / Re: How Nigerians Living In Europe Ruin The Reputation Of Their Country by wildwater: 7:58am On Oct 19, 2011 |
I agree with that. I am just angry, because in European Newspapers there are always just articles like that forced, where negative Elements of African culture are published. Even if such things happen, which is a shame and just a sign of fear and low education of narrow minded people for me, I do not think it is proper for a Nigerian woman living abroad generalizing this on her country, as if it would be daily´s happening like witch prosecution in Europe 500 years ago. It ought to be the job of Nigerian people abroad to improve the image of their country, not to put it down. |
Foreign Affairs / Re: How Nigerians Living In Europe Ruin The Reputation Of Their Country by wildwater: 12:08pm On Oct 15, 2011 |
As far as I got to know Nigeria, it may happen in some low level educational part of the country, but not, as the article says, be "standard" in Nigeria. And as you say, you have a sister that has such an "ambivalent" relationship to her country, that she is not ashamed to ruin it´s reputation by talking rubbish like that. I have been to your country and I am married to a Nigerian, I never saw such things happening there on my trips or heared about it in those parts of your country I visited. P.S: Congratulations to your translation |
Foreign Affairs / How Nigerians Living In Europe Ruin The Reputation Of Their Country by wildwater: 9:44am On Oct 15, 2011 |
Interview translation of a Nigerian woman, living in Austria, about Nigeria: Guys and Girls, I translate this for morning laughter and annoyance all over your country: http://derstandard.at/1317019929226/Afrika-Wenn-Kinder-als-Hexen-verfolgt-werden#forumstart Title: When Children are persecuted as witches Joana Adesuwa Reiterer about rituals and witch villages and how she has been thrown out as a 16 year old girl Women and children are excluded, tortured and burned because people summon they are witches, only in Nigeria there live 5.000 girls and children in the streets banned and branded als witches, I just translate the part of it, because the Interview in German is very long, in one of Austria´s top newspapers. The girl is getting rich on telling stories, and Nigeria got perfect advertisment again for being a country of midages in Europe. Where the hell is your embassy? Those idiots do nothing but giving stupid interviews themselves with titles such as "Not all Nigerians are drug dealers", kick them out for doing nothing for your countries image here! |
Travel / Re: General UK Visa Enquiries by wildwater: 10:47pm On Sep 10, 2011 |
You can´t ask for a visa as a tourist for 6 month to 2y, either you have to ask for a students visa or working or family. Visitors visa is something for short trips max. 3 month usually, check http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/policyandlaw/immigrationlaw/immigrationrules/ and think about what you want to do there. Anyway hotels are terrible in GB, I would try to get a place as a "paying guest" in a private household. As for your reply, than the letter of invitation should contain your hosts name, adress, eventually his certificate of rent of the house/apartement, that he/she will guarantee for the costs of your visit and that he guarantees for you leaving the country before your visa expires. I would ask for a new visa next year, when there are no troubles, they will usually give you. The validity of the visa usually are no longer than till the end of the year. |
Family / Re: Is Polygamy A Sin Among Christians Even For Pastors by wildwater: 9:19am On Sep 10, 2011 |
, @Plutarch: I mean exactely what I say, kick out of m y bed and m y house, why do you always talk about h i s house here? Do you not have women in your country who earn their own money and have their own properties? It may be part of the Old Testament, for sure I find it nowhere in the New, anyway I consider it a social and not a religious question and society should develop in 2.000 years, well, if people who do polygamia haven´t, it´s their problem anyway, yet it is not proper for a Christian and beware me of marryiing a Moslem who treats me like one number in many, and @johndoe: Foolish, because polygamia is not up to date, how many men could really care for several women today and for many children? And anyway you could not please all women you have as you cannot clone yourself every night. So this is rubbish. Excuse of cheaters for playing around and not being serious. |
Business / How To Open A Banking Account As A Foreigner by wildwater: 8:24pm On Sep 09, 2011 |
Who can tell me if you can open an account and transfer money to Nigeria as a foreigner without paying heaps of "extra taxes"? Which bank would be ok for trading with Europe? |
Family / Re: Is Polygamy A Sin Among Christians Even For Pastors by wildwater: 7:43pm On Sep 09, 2011 |
I want to ask a very provocative question to this community, I only read about polygamie for men, one man, several women, so if you say yes to polygamia why not the other way round, too? One woman, two or more men - being married? For my part, I can find no place in the bible that says yes in the New Testament to polygamia. And being a christian and not a jew I can not find it proper to follow older rules, anyway, I would kick out of my bed any man who wants to go to another woman. |
Food / Re: Could You Please Help Me With Receipts For Yoruba Kitchen? by wildwater: 10:16pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Tiring, I asked for some nice receipts and not for rubish. I cook myself here and it is not so difficult to learn foreign kitchen, if you know the basics of cooking. And as I said, I want to surprise him with something nice. What is so difficult about that? And anyway, there a r e international shops here to get the adds for it, but there is no international catering service here in the whole state that provides Nigerian food. Anyway I want to cook and not to cheat. |
Travel / Re: Regardless Of Your Qualifications,we Can Assist U Get A Denmark Greencard Visa by wildwater: 9:57pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Be careful with this information, I think this guy is LYING, I am European and it is completely new to me, that Danemark would do this, they would hurt Schengen law and they just went on hardliner course relating to European Newpapers, even Germans have Passport controlls at the borders to Danemark again!!! Ask Danish EMBASSY first about the regulations, before you hand over money! |
Travel / Re: How To Get Apostille For Marriage Cert For Schengen Visa by wildwater: 9:44pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Many wrong answers: In Schengen it is like that, you have to get to foreign affairs in Abuja for affidavit, then you have to get the second Verification from the British Embassy in Nigeria or the embassy of the country related, on your wedding certificate, if you marry in Nigeria. Marrying on High Court will safe you some headache. I do not know how GB handles this, my country busies a lawyer on cost of the couple to proof if the wedding certificate is valid, (and your husband is not married in the traditional way) , costs about 600 Euro and the Embassy fee (30 Euro/ document) and takes up to three month. If you are both legally in Europe (legally means too, your husband has NOT asked for Asylum), you should really try to marry there. You need his documents: That he is not married, do not know the English name for this at the moment, his birth-certificate, both with affidavit from foreign affairs in Abuja and the embassy, and his passport with valid Schengen Visum. You need not do the documents yourself, a person of your trust can do it for you. It takes about 3 weeks to get this documents from foreign affairs. And: There´s no other way to do things anymore, Danemark has been closed up, Spain, too, forget about Ukraine, Hungary is worse, do the straight way, go to Nigeria if they give you a headache and be patient. But I would ask my fiance, why he can´t provide the documents with affidavit and so on, because they are quite easy to get and if he says no, he might have other reasons, anyway he needs the same documents to marry you on High Court and to marry somewhere else I would not accept as a European woman. Gives problems with the affidavit at the embassy, luck to you!!! The second step after getting the affidavit from foreign affairs a n d the embassy is asking for a visum at the embassy for familyreunion for your husband. The embassy will hand you over the forms, you fill it and have usually to provide a social insurance for your husband, prove that you can care for him without public welfare and have an flat to live in, but this papers you can provide in your country. The visa formular you get under this mailadress: http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk/resources/en/docs/1903073/vaf4a online, too. Anyway your husband can just go with you, when you can proof the necessary papers. |
Family / Re: I Need Your Oppinion by wildwater: 7:08pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
I am married with a Nigerian, too. Do not worry too much about the age thing, many Nigerian men cheat about their age, mine did for some time, too, until he was sure I would not mind. There´s of course the possibility, that his sisters did not agree with the marriage and he wanted to save you troubles. The other possibilities are less nice, but depend on several factors. Where are you from? Age of your husband (true) when you married, your age, his profession and degree of schooling, his tribe and social background and other facts. It is sometimes not easy, but basically I would just talk to him about your fears. Do NOT contact his sisters without his knowledge. That would bring big trouble. But ask him, if they are his sisters by blood or just by community, e.g. And , where do his parents live? Who has the major income in your family? etc. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 5:21pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Mrs.Chima: Yes. and Yes again, but you can be sure, that fearing another woman was not the topic for me (anyway he knows how I would react, just kick his ass out the moment I got to know it, ).I am sure about him having noone else and not sending money to some family there, he even rejected when I offered to help his best friends brother with some university fee. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 4:58pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
pleep: Wow. Thanks for the info, well he is from Ogun State and lived in Lagos, That makes it quite unusual for him to have another wife, I suppose, |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 4:56pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Mrs.Chima: Well, anyway this was new to me. Because if he was married to someone else legally, this would put him into jail here and be a five minutes divorce on court. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 4:50pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
pleep: Thanks, and no, I am from Europe :-), Beware me of being from malaysia :-) :-), this is part of my problem, I had absolutely no contact with Nigerians before I met my husband and except for some commercial data not much knowledge of your country, makes it difficult. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 4:48pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Brightmind: Thanks, Brightmind, this is what I am wondering. And :-) :-) I am laughing now, because, he used exactly the same words on me "Don´t let your curiousity drive you into avoidable prolems". Then he added "I know my people". You know, I really love him very much, but why is it so difficult for him sometimes, to be just straight? Except for this little thing now here on Nairaland, I really tell him everything. And if he just tell me straight about his people, there would be no questions between us that I do not want to ask him really anymore, because I know he has something, whatsoever, that worries him, when I meet his people. Financial is nonsense. I never would make any agreement without talking with him about it first. And this, he should really no by now. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 4:38pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Mrs.Chima: I didn´t really understand his mother´s comment either, because I think people have the same characters all over the world and it has nothing to do with nationality. But I didn´t know that this thing is cultural in Nigeria. We have Muslims here, too, they marry the first wife for our and Muslim law, then they get divorced after our law, but remain married after Muslim law and marry the second wife at both laws. So legal polygamy under muslims takes part here, too, this is why I never would marry a muslim, my husband will be busied by me :-) and I would never accept a second wife. If he wants to take another girl, I will sign the divorce papers without hesistation and might he get lost. I do not need a man to care for me, as I can handle my life myself. Marriage means for me to have found the person who is best friend, best lover and you have not to look back to know he is here for you. But for a Christian here, no matter if Protestant, Catholic or what so ever a second wife is out of discussion, well, they will take lovers, sure, many men here do that. But they would never take a lover into their real life. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 4:20pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Mrs.Chima: But my husband is Christian and not Muslim! I thought that polygamy was only suitable for Muslims in Nigeria? You know, I am bothered, because even his friends in Nigeria laughed about his behaviour with me, anyway I did never go into this discussion with them, because they should not see that I was troubled about the decision of my husband, it was anyway not their business. He did not want to let me leave the house alone, althought all of them (even pastors wife, who brought the topic to me) said, it is not dangerous, after everybody in the community got to know me. He had one guy who was in the house all the time to do shopping for me and help with the household (a young brother, he said, but no relative, had to get used to the meaning, it´s different here). I got so bored after a day, because I am used in working and doing things on my own, that I took the kitchen things out of the guys hand and sent him look after the TV set and started cleaning the whole house to busy me somehow. (My husband was a little angry, because he said, the guy is to do that and I should just chill and relax, but when I explained him I am not used to this and he knows, I work a lot in my country, the matter was settled.) (His mother laughted completly and said he shouldn´t be difficult, because "Your wife is like a Yoruba women" - anyway I did not understand that comparison). And there was another guy to go out with me when he was not at home to acompany me with shopping. And this was after the marriage ;-( . He took me to all his friends and relatives to visit once, but only when he was with us, I was not to go alone (the pastors wife was angry with him for that) and they should have been sent away when he was not here if they came to visit. The only place we went several times was his church, what was ok for me, because I know, this is important for him. When his uncle, who had invited us to come to visit again, because we had many interrests together and a lovely two hours discussion about commerce and politics, came to the airport to say goodbye, my husband was angry, because he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. And he forbid me to add him, when he sent me a fb friendship question. Anyway, it would have been no problem in my country to hug a relative you like and this man is happily married with three nice children, so what? I am slightly confused. He is not like that here. Even if I go out in the evening to meet some business friends, he doesn´t mind. And I am neither stupid, nor do I wan´t to change my husband for one of his friends. Hell, I am running my own business here. And he knows that. The problem is, I was so happy that his familiy welcomed me warmly, because mine wouldn´t welcome him, it´s just they wanted me to marry another guy who was more "proper" to their opinion and suited better in family plans. Yes, it´s in Europe sometimes, too, that families wish different husbands for the girls and don´t accept anyone else, I had to break up with my whole family for this marriage. I am not sad about this, because I am running my own business since I moved out from my parents place, anyway I am no cow to sell for the best price but as it is common here, choose my husband, because he is the best friend, lover and partner a girl could wish for. But I am sad and hurt, because he keeps his family so much apart. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 3:39pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
He hasn´t , we married in Hight court and anyway his paper were all proper. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 3:33pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
Russialane:What do you mean by that? |
Food / Could You Please Help Me With Receipts For Yoruba Kitchen? by wildwater: 3:12pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
I am living with my husband abroad and have learned a little Nigerian cooking, but just stew, beans with corn, yams, egg, as I would like to surprise my husband with some nice food from his homecountry could you probably help me with receipts? Thanks! |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 3:08pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
No, I just took the ideas, cooked him a nice meal, when he came home from church and told him, honey, I have to ask you something, then I asked why he doesn´t want me to contact his people on fb and that I had thought about some possibilities, that give me headache, so he just should please tell me straight, cause I do accept his decision, I just want to know why. Then I told him just all the possibilities collected. (If I told him about going to this forum, I think he would be really angry with me) To be sincere, there was one other reason, he didn´t mention before. My familiy doesn´t yet know about the marriage, because they are against it totally, and he didn´t want his family and friends to know, and he did not tell me, he had not mentioned that, even not to his mother. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 2:48pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
, oh, and sy for replying sometimes to the wrong posting, this is my first time in such a forum, took me a little to get used to the handling |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 2:45pm On Aug 28, 2011 |
corona46: |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 12:05am On Aug 28, 2011 |
tpia@:@tpia: Because of prejudice, bad reputation of many Nigerians in my country, marriage for papers (although this almost doesn´t work here anymore, because if you want to marry a Nigerian you have to be quite well situated or you will get broke cause of the costs, fees and other problems, you have to proof an income that is far over average so that your husband can even e n t e r the country legally, so no woman who doesn´t really love here Nigerian husband will do this, because it might mean working 2 jobs for at least a year), fraud delicts, drug trading and an absolute stupid Nigerian embassy, that manages to give interviews to the biggest newspapers titled "Not all Nigerians are drug dealers", well, this is only the most important reasons, why you cannot talk here about being married with a Nigerian husband. You will not get one serious answer but 100.000 postings that you are stupid. Sorry. No offence intended. As I am you can expect I do not share mainstream opinion. |
Family / Re: My Husband Has Been Cheating On Me by wildwater: 11:38pm On Aug 27, 2011 |
You said :"Many women in Nigeria want to just marry --- like just the OP, she knew darn well that she was marrying a cheater. But she ignored all the glaring signs --- these women don't realize these types of problems, until years in marriage. Remember the culture in Nigeria is if you're a woman and not married, you are useless." I am not Nigerian, but married to a Nigerian man, anyway, 80% of the women in my country would kick his ass out of the door, making him pay alimentary for the children and look for a job to provide the rest. And I would do the same with my husband, if I ever experienced him cheating me (yet of course I know he doesn´t :-) ), What I do not understand that a woman that is not married should be useless? Women who are as educated as men earn their own livinghood - most important. Anyway they care for the children and have a most important challenge in educating them properly. If one considers an unmarried woman useless, you could say the same about an unmarried man. Or is there anything, an man makes different, if he doesn´t want to take responsibility in a partnership? I haven´t been married for some years, anyway because I didn´t want to marry. It just gives you more jobs to do. If your husband doesn´t support you with work in the household, you not only have a job and children to care for, but wash his dirty clothing and iron it, cook, care for him - this is just like having another child! And if he uses his energy outside, then this girls can eagerly have the rest of the job, too! |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 11:17pm On Aug 27, 2011 |
@harakiri: Thx, I suppose you are right, the last posting said all the same that I feel in my heart, that I should trust him, anyway, I did what he wanted, I didn´t accept the fb contacts, it´s just sometimes very difficult if you can´t talk to anybody about that. And I can´t talk with my friends on that topic, I do not want to complain to my friends about my husband, because he is a wonderful man and would not deserve that. And in my country´s forums you can´t talk about being married with a Nigerian, most people do not understand that it has nothing to do with being keen on an "exotic" man or such silly stuff, but it is just you have met your soulmate and do not care about where he comes from. I admit I have the silly hope, that I will find the one or the other answer by reading postings in this forum anyway gggggg just like how to cook Nigerian food (yet I just learned to cook beans with corn and stew, plantanes, rice, yams and eggs and the like, although I am quite a good cook in my country ;-) ) and this is not too much ;-) |
Family / Re: Thank God,I Am Now Mrs by wildwater: 11:14pm On Aug 27, 2011 |
@harakiri: Thx, I suppose you are right, the last posting said all the same that I feel in my heart, that I should trust him, anyway, I did what he wanted, I didn´t accept the fb contacts, it´s just sometimes very difficult if you can´t talk to anybody about that. And I can´t talk with my friends on that topic, I do not want to complain to my friends about my husband, because he is a wonderful man and would not deserve that. And in my country´s forums you can´t talk about being married with a Nigerian, most people do not understand that it has nothing to do with being keen on an "exotic" man or such stupid stuff, but it is just you have met your soulmate and do not care about where he comes from. I admit I have the stupid hope, that I will find the one or the other answer by reading postings in this forum anyway gggggg just like how to cook Nigerian food (yet I just learned to cook beans with corn and stew, plantanes, rice, yams and eggs and the like, although I am quite a good cook in my country ;-) ) and this is not too much ;-) |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 9:51pm On Aug 27, 2011 |
And the difference, know we are back, is the more to me, because there e.g. one evening I cooked some dishes from my country for eight of his friends and he liked it, but it´s the same people he doesn´t want me to talk to now. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 9:50pm On Aug 27, 2011 |
Sorry, you are right, not well explaned. It´s just I am looking for an explanation for his behaviour and I thought, perhaps there was some cultural thing I do not understand. You know, in my country, any man would like it, if I come along with his friends and family, invite them for dinner or the like, he doesn´t even want me to talk to them on fb. And when I suggested to my husband, that we could invite some friend of him to my country anyway, if he likes that, he wasn´t pleased either. I thought perhaps there was something a Nigerian could explain me about his country and what things are handled like, I saw not so many differences when I was there, which makes me quite baffled anyway. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 9:33pm On Aug 27, 2011 |
Why don´t you read all I posted? I do not complain, I try to understand why. And this is his relatives, too, not any stupid guys from northpole. Anyway I can live with his family being angry, because anyway, we are the two who have decided to live together, but it´s HIS people. And I do not like being impolite to my partners family. |
Romance / Re: Is It A Cultural Thing, That Nigerian Men Are Jealous? by wildwater: 9:14pm On Aug 27, 2011 |
It may be a little difficult to get to know his family better, with living nine hours flight apart. Can´t go on vacation for more than three weeks in one piece. But his sister in law never had such troubles with his brother, but she didn´t go to meet his family anyway, what I insisted on, because I said it´s enough that my family is mad about the marriage, I at least want to get to know his people and hope they will agree. And now, his family and people are nice and agree with the marriage and everything, and he doesn´t want to keep contact? Who the hell would understand that? |
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