₦airaland Forum

If it were a man, this would have reached 20 pages by now with women saying how she refused to date him etc

ponishah:
And I knew the dead officer must be more beautiful and sexier than the Punisher: senior female ogas de always dey extremely jealous of their younger female colleagues in most work places.

Abi?

See as the senior officer get strong face like man. If woman wants to be wicked, it's very extreme. Even as it is, her heart can break Olumo rock.

Behind this wickedness, jealousy may not be too far.

Ojaycom:
He wanted to sleep with you and so what?
Are you a virgin?

This is irrelevant. Even if she's not a virgin doesn't mean she should sleep with anyone.

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

Be truthful to yourself. Can either of them raise 30% of the marriage cost at the moment?

If not, they are not ready. You may be financially buoyant now but then you really need a partner who can support you financially just in case and willing to do so.

In fact how much has either of them invested in the relationship since you met them? If nothing tangible, then they have nothing to lose and can walk out tomorrow.

funnyDM:
In addition, pretend that you are in a deep shit, like you lost your job. Tell them about your situation and ask them for financial help of up to N30k. The one that sends you the money is really committed to the relationship.

At a time it's possible they might not even have the money. Op said one is a graduate from polytechnic, the other nursing student so none of them is working or earning tangible money.

funnyDM:
You are at a point where delaying the decision is already becoming a decision on its own. Both women are asking you to meet their parents because they likely see the relationship as moving toward commitment. If you continue with both while unsure, the risk is that someone eventually gets deeply hurt — including you.
The confusion you feel is normal. Attraction, attachment, and compatibility are not always the same thing.
Here’s a practical way to think through it.

1. Stop asking, “Who do I love more?”
Instead ask:
Who gives me peace?
Who brings out discipline and purpose in me?
Who fits the kind of future I want in 5–10 years?
Who handles conflict maturely?
Who genuinely respects me?
Around who can I be fully honest?
If money became hard for two years, who would still stand well with me?
Which relationship feels stable instead of emotionally confusing?
Love alone is not enough for marriage. Stability, character, respect, and shared direction matter heavily.

2. Fear of making the wrong choice may actually mean you are avoiding pain
Part of your fear may not be “What if I choose wrong?” but also:
“What if I hurt one of them?”
“What if I lose someone valuable?”
“What if the one I leave later becomes more successful?”
“What if marriage changes everything?”
That fear can keep a man stuck between two lives for too long.
But maturity sometimes means accepting that clarity comes with sacrifice.

3. Observe who is truly compatible with your future
The nursing graduate and the polytechnic graduate may both be good women. But marriage is not a beauty contest or certificate competition.
Watch for:
Emotional maturity
Financial attitude
Respect during disagreements
Family values
Spiritual beliefs and lifestyle
Temperament
Loyalty
Ability to build with you
Ask yourself:
“If attraction reduced tomorrow, who would still make a strong life partner?”
That question reveals a lot.

4. Do not meet both parents if you already know you can only choose one
Meeting parents in many Nigerian families is seen as serious intention. If you are still uncertain, avoid giving both families strong expectations at the same time.
Instead:
Be honest with yourself first.
Take a short period to decide intentionally.
Reduce emotional juggling.
A man cannot think clearly while emotionally feeding two serious relationships equally.

5. Create a private comparison — not based on emotions alone
Take a notebook and divide it into sections:
Quality
Woman A
Woman B
Peace of mind


Trust


Respect


Communication


Shared future goals


Family compatibility


Emotional maturity


Supportiveness


Attraction


Ability to endure hardship together


Be brutally honest. Patterns will start appearing.

6. Ask yourself one uncomfortable question
If today both women suddenly disappeared from your life forever…
Which loss would truly break you the most — not because of ego, beauty, or benefits — but because you know that person genuinely fits your life?
Sometimes your heart already knows, but your fear keeps creating noise.

7. Once you decide, be clean and respectful
Do not keep one as a “backup option.” That creates long-term guilt and confusion.

When you decide:
Commit fully to one.
End the other relationship respectfully and clearly.

Avoid manipulation or false promises.
That is part of becoming serious in life.
You do not need a perfect choice. You need a wise, intentional, honest choice.

This is in-depth. I couldn't agree less. Op you have your answer.

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

Do loyalty test and broke prank on them. For the loyalty test, it will involve another guy trying to woe them with money while for the broke test, pretend you're stranded and ask for an amount you know they can afford like #20 000; you can pretend that your app is not working.

Back in the days we remember Uzuakoli for it's leper colony.

Is the center still operational?

Incognito403:
The fact that a person isn't dead doesnmean he's living fine.

So, as long as a person isn't dead any complain he makes is invalid. Wow, what a way to think!

Do yourself a favour, avoid anything or place that requires you to contribute to public policy.

The typical egocentric when he lacks input he leaves topic and attacks the commenter. If you can't make your own take and move on, then you're immature.

Immaturity is believing everyone will share your own ideas in discussion.

BucketHat:
Bro,for this hurricane Tinubu regime, you be king ooo.

You use 5.5 milli open shop for your wife .......

You're blessed oooooooooo

Your wife sabi business wella before you invest over 5 metre?

Did he delete some things in his write-up?

If he actually used 5.5 million to establish business for the wife, questions are:

1 What was the wife doing before he married her?
2 From the 5.5 million invested, what are the monthly profits like?
3 Truth be told, the wife might be the problem; I mean a liability.
4 You will be surprised that despite the 5.5 million invested, the wife is still demanding for more without any profits to show for 5.5 million invested.
5 She's probably lavish; demanding for Brazilian hairs etc without any consideration to the man.

I said it earlier; op is not completely honest.

The thing is that nobody is even mentioning the wife's contribution to the family.


Marriage is the union between a functional man and woman to become husband and wife. Man and woman are adults.

Nobody said man and girl.

Inosky:
Your house rent and food is eating up the money. You may need to downgrade and restrategies because even, if you earn 2 million, it would still be the same story.

Which food?

Engrr:
It's not bullshit bro. If you are earning 1M and living a decent life in current Nigeria, you cannot have any savings

Define decent.

BucketHat:
Im nor talk say above 1 milli

But he said he alone is making #1million with just a wife and child.

How much are you making in a month?

Incognito403:
Stop giving blanket statements.
1M isn't serious money at all especially if you have a car or need to use public transport frequently.

Moreover, you'll need to work for.at least two years before you can save up emergency funds.

That money has no room for vacations oo.
That money only gives basic life nothing extra.

Those earning less than #300 000 with family, are they dead? Stop trying to explain nonsense.

Slizzords:
Good afternoon everyone, I know that nairaland is filled with a lot of reasonable and experienced people, am a young man and I need guidance please.

So am married with a 8 month old baby, and make about 1M naira monthly for the past 3years now , it's not been easy from a financial aspect because we live in lagos and I discover that as I write this, I don't have up to 3M naira to my name, I don't know how money disappears, please note that am not a lavish spender, I don't party or go clubbing.

Please how do I save more money, because God forbid something happens now I don't have any money to fall back on. No landed property or anything. Please I need help thanks.

How much does your wife make? How is your typical monthly expenditure like?


If 1 million is not enough for you, wife and just 1 child then you need to check inwards. You're your own problem.

How? You're living above your means. Don't tell me you're not a lavish person because an in-depth search would tell you, you're lying to yourself.

1 million and above monthly.

BABANGBALI:
The story too long jare. I can swear that not everyone here read the whole story from the beginning to the end.

Unless you don't read novels or textbooks. This is not long and his story is interesting.

olatuneji:
I thank God for sparing your life
Bro you are really security conscious

If you had traveled back to kano without following your mind

If your wife had proved stubbornness with you that she is not going anywhere that night because it seems she love the apartment, or that you should postpone going the next day those bandits will have gotten hold of you guys, thank God she cooperated with you if not there will be arguments, there will be back and forth about decision making, and time was of essence

If you like marry woman that will be challenging your decisions.

Thundafireseun:
Edo people are serial betrayals….
I have said this before and I will keep saying it

Stop a while and ask yourself if this is staged?

If they actually got approval by CAC and EFCC, how will the government now call them illegal?
It means the government legalized illegality and so is complicit.

The government should be sued by Nigerians for contributing to fraud in a working society.
Don't forget many people invested because of the government certificates on CBEX office.

That's right.

Fundamentals and technicals are conflicting at the moment.

Gold Alert

Buystop 3350
Stoploss 3340

Target 3450

Bought gold 3018

xauwarrior:
According to babypips make pips, keep pips, repeat is the roadmap to profitability in trading.

One must not trade everyday to be profitable.

My trade plan next week will be to sell gold on Monday by 5am and exit by 1pm on Tuesday.(Estimated pips 300 - 600) That should be my only trade for next week.

Problem starts when you start looking for trades on Wednesday - Friday) which returns back profits to market.

Making pips is not difficult, keeping the pips is where one needs to put more effort.

You can take first sell entry now

Sell gold 3018

Elliotwaveforec:
Gold:

Dramatic recovery above 3010 on Friday confirms the bullish continuation.

Buy recommended with SL at 2999.

So assuming one were to buy at 3027 on Monday, you're saying the stoploss should be 2999?

280 pips loss should it reverse?

xauwarrior:
According to babypips make pips, keep pips, repeat is the roadmap to profitability in trading.

One must not trade everyday to be profitable.

My trade plan next week will be to sell gold on Monday by 5am and exit by 1pm on Tuesday.(Estimated pips 300 - 600) That should be my only trade for next week.

Problem starts when you start looking for trades on Wednesday - Friday) which returns back profits to market.

Making pips is not difficult, keeping the pips is where one needs to put more effort.

The key levels to watch for possible reversal is 3028 - 3033 and 3039 -3044 if the bulls are too strong on Monday.

If you take entry on Monday, you can add another position on Tuesday but avoid greed. Practice good risk management.

Combined pips profits expected is between 500 - 1000 pips. The rest of the week may likely take your profits if you continue.

Bottomline: I don't expect price to get to 3050 before the DROP.

In China this is an act of treason and national sabotage. Both nnpc and dangote have functional refineries. Then tell me why they have to import from abroad if not corruption and wickedness.

It's alleged they have a refinery in Malta. They are really killing this country.

Tinubu cannot claim not to know what's going on. He can't give us the Buhari treatment.

According to babypips make pips, keep pips, repeat is the roadmap to profitability in trading.

One must not trade everyday to be profitable.

My trade plan next week will be to sell gold on Monday by 5am and exit by 1pm on Tuesday.(Estimated pips 300 - 600) That should be my only trade for next week.

Problem starts when you start looking for trades on Wednesday - Friday) which returns back profits to market.

Making pips is not difficult, keeping the pips is where one needs to put more effort.