Hello, thank you for your help. My I-129f petition for my fiancee recently got approved and has been sent to the NVC for processing. However, we are planning on having a introduction/ tradtional engagement ceremony according to Yoruba culture in a couple of months in Lagos. If she is approved for a K1-visa, we intend on having a court wedding as required within 90days upon her arrival, and a white wedding in the States within a year once she settles down.

1. Is it standard policy for the CO to consider all traditional yoruba ceremony a wedding even though we are just planning an engagement inline with Yoruba culture?

2. And if the answer to the above question is yes, will this affect her chances for a K1-visa if her interview is done before the ceremony? And what if the interview is held after the ceremony?

3. If she will be denied, what are our recourse at this point with an approved i-129f? Any advise.

4. Different question. I owe taxes on my tax returns and average about $35000 - 40000 a year with no significant savings plus student loans, will this affect my affidavit of support or do I need to get a cosponsor? If I can arrange for her preemployment, will that help, or not necessary since I am 125% above the poverty level?

5. Lastly, will I be able to attend the interview with her If I fly to Lagos?

Thanks a lot.

As someone who works in the airline industry, you can book a ticket and hold a seat on any flight without paying for it until you actually need to fly. If your ticket is not paid for, it will show as a paper ticket at the check-in counter and at the gate. Failure to pay for your ticket...even though you have a reservation and a boarding pass...will see you denied boarding at the gate. NFF did the right thing by booking the tickets ahead of time due to the limitation of seats when making last minute arrangements. If you book ahead of time, you can been guaranteed a window seat, aisle seat, exit row seat and premium seats that would not be normally available a few days before departure.

How can a matured man be annoyed when his woman calls him by an affectionate name? Baby, sweetie, love, boo, hon, honey...it doesn't matter!

Onegai: Dear poster,

Gosh, humans are cruel, aren't they? Reading this thread has convinced how I can never trust anyone whom I meet with a smile or whom says he/she's a church person. Because all of them will then go onto form threads complaining how they are good and deserve the best and where are all the good girls/good boys, wah wah wah...

Okay, deep breathes first.

28 is pushing it and the pressure's getting to you. Yes, a lot of guys don't want to marry that age. But you don't want those guys. Trust me. Every man I've met over 35 swears his choices would be so much different if he had waited. They also have sense. So any guy you meet now, don't immediately tell him "I wan get married, are you down?" then bounce him. Just be yourself, but be firm. Men are selfish. They will say anything to get what they want, and they'll do anything once they have and want to move on. I'm going through that now (yes, some immature fool is gonna call me you were chasing his money). Walai, the reason the divorce rate is rising is both male and female. We've changed so dramatically. Over 70% will not have good marriages. So what can you do?

Work on you, use this time to become a better person. Ignore your age, my sis held onto one mugu yoruba boy who wouldn't let her go (though he knew his parents didn't like her non-yorubaness and non-muslimness). She got some sense at 30, walked out and met an Ekiti man younger than her. 3 kids, and her marriage is better than my other sisters.

It's not how fast, it's how well.You are a better parent in your older years. Look around, most people are a result of immature parenting. I am yet to see anyone below the age of 25 whom I don't immediately wish will leave me alone permanently. 26-28 nowadays is even worse. And sadly, I started playing their games with them. I'm in your same boat. Relax, there are still men out there. Just don't show them the desperation. They will run.

My ex pursued me like mad, nothing he didn't do to get me. After we started dating, and I stupidly went to bed with him, he noticed how emotional I was and how he couldn't stand it. So he's run off again. I'm a few months older than him. Now, I've just seen the light. When every guy I relate my story to, laughs and bets how quickly he'll be back (2-3 months) because I'm a wife material, all I have to do is sit tight. And say "NO" when he comes back. Because he's not ready for marriage. Oh, we could get married, but mehnnnn I will suffer.

OP, you're at the perfect age. Trust me. You're on nairaland, listening to bad people gleefully pull you down because they have nothing better to do. So get off it. Go work on yourself and watch how God will send him waltzing into your arms.

If a guy chases you for a long time, he is expecting a bigger price than a emotional wreck. If you have flaws, it is in your best interest to display those flaws upfront so that you can be with the right kind of guy. Unfortunately, as a result of certain flaws, you may not get prince charming, but it doesn't mean the kind of guy you deserve won't make you happy.

rokiatu:

I doubt it. Actually I feel kinda bad giving her advice on how to end her relationship with this guy.

If this is the kind of guy who listens to her and is willing to change, she would do best to keep him around while she test the waters. More than likely, she will get burned by the kind of men she thought she wanted, and she will run back to him. If she lets him go and get burned by other men, her pain will be greater every time she fails to get a man's commitment in a relationship especially with her clock ticking. It is a double edged sword, and I cannot begin to tell you how painful it is.

OP find something else to do with your life that would make you productive if you weren't married with kids.