Updates!!!!

It's a year since I made this post about how i feel cheated by girl friend because she doesn't want me to travel with her to the US after she got a fully funded offer .
Well, after a year my girlfriend helped me secured an admission to a school in the USA even with my low grade. She tried her best with securing admission, searching for dates and even paying someone to help me with mock sessions.I didn't do anything, even mailing the school for i20 , paying my sevis fee and all that is needed she did everything including getting my transcripts from my undergraduate.
However, my visa was denied because I was nervous and couldn't defend my case very well.
I know i really messed up during the mock sessions, because whenever she corrects me i will just feel someone and tell her not to worry that i will handle it . When I came back from the interview, she was really angry when she asked me what transpired between me and the VO . Later she asked me to reapply but I have been adamant and I told her that her that I don't want to look desperate. The current problem now is that my girlfriend said she is no longer interested in the relationship and I feel that she is not breaking up with me because of the interview but I think she has gotten a new guy over there. This break up has been affecting me mentally and I have been unable to concentrate on my work.
Please what should I do ?

Concentrate on your work.

Your girlfriend is breaking up with you...

Because you are too mellow, relaxed and unambitious.

You are not a hustler. Two of you aren't on the same page at all.

How many girls hustle and even spend their money to secure their guys... Just to make sure you guys remain together.

The worst part of all is you don't get her and still have the wrong mentality by thinking she wants to leave you because she has someone else. Signs of insecurity.

If I was her I would break up with you too!

Lifeinbits:
Updates!!!!

This break up has been affecting me mentally and I have been unable to concentrate on my work.
Please what should I do ?

Guy...face ur work..there a many roads to success...
See ehnn......the break up was bound to happen the moment she left......she never saw a clear future with you at the time of travelling.

she is just trying to ease her conscience by helping u move there...

Even after all she did, obviously your mind wasn't in acing the interview...

You people are not meant to be together. God has shown you a sign

Concentrate on your work in Nigeria

Leave her alone to concentrate on the man in the States ...
At least she tried for you...

You didn't seem to put in much effort or show some level of desire. Alternatively, you can be her F2. Find out how to go about that

Good for her.
You appear very insecure

Move on
Dey deceive urself she knew u will be denied visa
Everything Na plan work
Do you think is that easy to migrate ?

We no talk am?

A 29 years old woman in her prime vs a 41 years old man. This was the most plausible outcome, paper is king in the abroad .plus at 41 years you can’t take charge of your own life 🤮

She's tired of "carrying you" she's like the mother in the relationship

1Sharon:
She's tired of "carrying you" she's like the mother in the relationship

E don hard una na. If na the other way round, the man go kill himself to carry una gender along

Lifeinbits:
Updates!!!!

It's a year since I made this post about how i feel cheated by girl friend because she doesn't want me to travel with her to the US after she got a fully funded offer .
Well, after a year my girlfriend helped me secured an admission to a school in the USA even with my low grade. She tried her best with securing admission, searching for dates and even paying someone to help me with mock sessions.I didn't do anything, even mailing the school for i20 , paying my sevis fee and all that is needed she did everything including getting my transcripts from my undergraduate.
However, my visa was denied because I was nervous and couldn't defend my case very well.
I know i really messed up during the mock sessions, because whenever she corrects me i will just feel someone and tell her not to worry that i will handle it . When I came back from the interview, she was really angry when she asked me what transpired between me and the VO . Later she asked me to reapply but I have been adamant and I told her that her that I don't want to look desperate. The current problem now is that my girlfriend said she is no longer interested in the relationship and I feel that she is not breaking up with me because of the interview but I think she has gotten a new guy over there. This break up has been affecting me mentally and I have been unable to concentrate on my work.
Please what should I do ?

You are not really even helping, you wanted to leave cause you wanted to be with her or improve your chances at live?

The fact she was even putting her funds into it shows the dedication she had for you and the relationship, you then decided to be lackadaisical about it.

Shes offered you another chance Chief, hustle and pay some of the fees so she can also see the determination this time.

brain54:
Your girlfriend is breaking up with you...

Because you are too mellow, relaxed and unambitious.

You are not a hustler. Two of you aren't on the same page at all.

How many girls hustle and even spend their money to secure their guys... Just to make sure you guys remain together.

The worst part of all is you don't get her and still have the wrong mentality by thinking she wants to leave you because she has someone else. Signs of insecurity.

If I was her I would break up with you too!

Mr brain54, GOD bless you sir.

You said exactly my mind.

Very unambitious and lackadaisical guy.

Imagine his girlfriend handling his postgraduate admission process, even helping him get his undergraduate transcripts.

Gosh!

The very height of unseriousness!

I support the babes ending the relationship.

He will continue with this attitude if they end up marrying.
SMH!

You have a bad mindset, entitled, lazy with a carefree attitude. She is better dropping ya ass off and facing her hustle over there. You are a man, why will you even let someone do everything for you? As if that is not enough, you even refused to learn and own the process which will help you secure a visa. Weldone woo, you hear, weldone sir

You are the type that would be a huge baggage for her even if you had gotten a visa.

Focus on your job and change your bad attitude.

ferhyntorlah:


Mr brain54, GOD bless you sir.

You said exactly my mind.

Very unambitious and lackadaisical guy.

Imagine his girlfriend handling his postgraduate admission process, even helping him get his undergraduate transcripts.

Gosh!

The very height of unseriousness!

I support the babes ending the relationship.

He will continue with this attitude if they end up marrying.
SMH!

God bless you too ma'am...

lastkingsman:


E don hard una na. If na the other way round, the man go kill himself to carry una gender along

Did you know that OP is 40 years old?

You sef pity your gf.

She did everything to get you over, it didn'twork, then you just give up?

You want her to be doing telephone relationship, possible but not easy unless marriage is certain and around the corner.

Go through the details yourself and try again. Or take a decision, rationalize the decision, and stick to it.

Lifeinbits:
Updates!!!!

It's a year since I made this post about how i feel cheated by girl friend because she doesn't want me to travel with her to the US after she got a fully funded offer .
Well, after a year my girlfriend helped me secured an admission to a school in the USA even with my low grade. She tried her best with securing admission, searching for dates and even paying someone to help me with mock sessions.I didn't do anything, even mailing the school for i20 , paying my sevis fee and all that is needed she did everything including getting my transcripts from my undergraduate.
However, my visa was denied because I was nervous and couldn't defend my case very well.
I know i really messed up during the mock sessions, because whenever she corrects me i will just feel someone and tell her not to worry that i will handle it . When I came back from the interview, she was really angry when she asked me what transpired between me and the VO . Later she asked me to reapply but I have been adamant and I told her that her that I don't want to look desperate. The current problem now is that my girlfriend said she is no longer interested in the relationship and I feel that she is not breaking up with me because of the interview but I think she has gotten a new guy over there. This break up has been affecting me mentally and I have been unable to concentrate on my work.
Please what should I do ?

To be honest, I am glad she left you. People who have a very nonchalant attitude and are very care free towards life can rarely survive outside Nigeria. Abroad is very brutal to such people. She find admission give you so when she enter US na she go apply job give you, attend interview give you. Figure out how una go stay after studies. Good riddance to rubbish.

brain54:
Your girlfriend is breaking up with you...

Because you are too mellow, relaxed and unambitious.

You are not a hustler. Two of you aren't on the same page at all.

How many girls hustle and even spend their money to secure their guys... Just to make sure you guys remain together.

The worst part of all is you don't get her and still have the wrong mentality by thinking she wants to leave you because she has someone else. Signs of insecurity.

If I was her I would break up with you too!

Thank you for this!!!

As an ambitious lady, a man without ambition and lackadaisical IS A HUGE TURN OFF and a big RED FLAG MAP in my books.

The girl even tried for him honestly.

ednut1:
We no talk am?

A 29 years old woman in her prime vs a 41 years old man. This was the most plausible outcome, paper is king in the abroad .plus at 41 years you can’t take charge of your own life 🤮

So the OP is even in his 40s? He has such terrible outlook towards life.

Glad she dumped him like hot potatoes.

Her getting you your own transcript alone shows you are lazy.

You can get your student transcript by yourself for less than 5k.

Baba, you are the most important person in your life, no one, not even your parents can love you more than you love yourself.

Let me pretend that this is a joke. But if it's not, abeg drop the girl phone number let me call and thank her for dumping your lazy ass, you be mumu. This one don pass red flag, it's a whole red continent

Lifeinbits:
Updates!!!!

It's a year since I made this post about how i feel cheated by girl friend because she doesn't want me to travel with her to the US after she got a fully funded offer .
Well, after a year my girlfriend helped me secured an admission to a school in the USA even with my low grade. She tried her best with securing admission, searching for dates and even paying someone to help me with mock sessions.I didn't do anything, even mailing the school for i20 , paying my sevis fee and all that is needed she did everything including getting my transcripts from my undergraduate.
However, my visa was denied because I was nervous and couldn't defend my case very well.
I know i really messed up during the mock sessions, because whenever she corrects me i will just feel someone and tell her not to worry that i will handle it . When I came back from the interview, she was really angry when she asked me what transpired between me and the VO . Later she asked me to reapply but I have been adamant and I told her that her that I don't want to look desperate. The current problem now is that my girlfriend said she is no longer interested in the relationship and I feel that she is not breaking up with me because of the interview but I think she has gotten a new guy over there. This break up has been affecting me mentally and I have been unable to concentrate on my work.
Please what should I do ?

Your girlfriend doesn't need your type of a guy in her life to be honest with you.


You are too slow for her type.

Relationship work better when the lady is the one trying to catch up with her man, not the other way round.

Women are created to look up to their man not their man looking up to them.


If you believe in God and Jesus Christ, seek for His face about your life and focus on your job and look for ways to improve yourself.


Don't be angry with your girlfriend for breaking up with you, it is not really her fault but how women are wired.

Lifeinbits:
Updates!!!!

It's a year since I made this post about how i feel cheated by girl friend because she doesn't want me to travel with her to the US after she got a fully funded offer .
Well, after a year my girlfriend helped me secured an admission to a school in the USA even with my low grade. She tried her best with securing admission, searching for dates and even paying someone to help me with mock sessions.I didn't do anything, even mailing the school for i20 , paying my sevis fee and all that is needed she did everything including getting my transcripts from my undergraduate.

been affecting me mentally and I have been unable to concentrate on my work.
Please what should I do ?

She sourced for a school that provided you funding with your low grade. Bros, do you know the enormity of what she did? The stress and constant emailing involved? That woman has SACRIFICED for you. Getting admitted is one thing, and having a good grade is another, but having those two and securing a fully funded scholarship in one’s late 30s is not always possible. She worked so hard for you to succeed and even secured an interview. People pay 500K to secure interview spots at the US embassy. Check their Facebook page.

And this is how you pay her back? She even offered you re-try, but you are dragging your feet. I truly hope you don’t get jealous or develop one kind of witchcraft envy for her, because Mother Nature aka God aka destiny no go answer such plans. You don’t deserve that lady, neither does she need your type in her life. It is one thing to be financially and academically disadvantaged in trying to study in the US, but being offered the opportunity and yet allowing her to source YOUR UNDERGRADUATE TRANSCRIPTS shows you have a lifestyle that does not align with hers, which is perfectly fine. So, allow her to be, and please don’t go about lying that she dumped you blah blah blah. Explain how things unfolded and how you misused a hard-fought opportunity.

I have people who for one financial or academic reason don’t think it is possible to study in the US, but if they have someone or persons who can source for a fully funded program, they would jump at the opportunity and work their way to get their undergraduate transcripts.

That said, be thankful you did not even get the visa, because with this attitude, it would not have been easy for you in the US. Had you obtained the visa to study, you would be tasked with searching for internships on your own because she sef go dey hustle hers. You would be made to search for jobs by yourself, and this means attending career talk sessions by all kinds of organisations and groups. You would have to undergo a lot of unlearning and relearning process to ace American-styled interviews. ALL by YOURSELF!

This time, your competitors would not be only Nigerians, but citizens, both native and second-generation immigrants. In fact, your fiercest competition would come from fellow immigrant students like you, especially those from China and India. Those ones, especially the Chinese, as you are thinking 1, they are thinking 5. These are folks who could not pass the Gaokao and get into the top schools in China, and had to apply to schools in the US. Imagine someone who is studying Operations Research at say Georgia Tech or Princeton. The person is at either of those places because s/he could not get into Tsinghua or Fudan University, NOT because na America the person wished to study in.

I have a research paper which looked at the trajectories of top scorers in Indian universities and entrance examinations aka JAMB, 90% of those people are living outside India, with the majority in the US. So, imagine 90% of the First class and Ndi Strong 2.1 graduates in Nigeria and top WAEC/JAMB scorers move to the US? In fact, these links show that presumption is a fact:
- http://www.thebridgeinitiative.org/mentors
- https://www.nairaland.com/7763389/top-jamb-scorers-where-today
Those would have been your competitors. Remember that there are 800K+ H1B applicants for slots that are 65K per fiscal year. So, it is one thing to get qualified, but another thing to possess the right visa.

Na this kind of lackadaisical and terribly laid-back attitude you wan go display in the US? I have two things you should do this Sunday:

- Go to your church and ask for a testimonial time to praise God for not securing a US visa. Yes, the congregation would be stunned, but explain your reason honestly.
- Earnestly pray for your ex to succeed in whatever she finds herself doing as she deserves to enjoy.

That said, I checked the previous thread and this was my comment:

Gerrard59:


You do not know how to travel abroad, but you have a girlfriend who does and you supported her so much financially to enable it happen. While doing this, you did not ask her; Nne, how are processing this application to move abroad? Could you teach me considering I am sponsoring the process?
Did you? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Then, you came to Nairaland typing mendaciously about how she has changed her mind even though you wanted to travel but you don't know how. Not only that, you had created the same topic in the Family section, but since that had little traction, you came here to try your luck, all in a bid to enter FP.

I understand that the unemployment situation in Nigeria is extremely high, but don't you think there are better things to do with your time and precious bandwidth?

https://www.nairaland.com/7557665/girlfriend-wants-travel-abroad-without

I am proud of my consistency and thought process. If I were your girlfriend, I would have stopped at a point, especially sourcing your undergraduate transcripts. If you cannot do that, it shows you are not interested in studying abroad, which is perfectly okay.

I am happy the relationship has ended. Your ex-girlfriend is the kind of girl I am looking for. We would make a great couple!

This man, how can you be so carefree to the extent that she does everything. OMG! If I see this opportunity ehn. I am presently frantically applying for Jobs as we speak. If only I could get this type of opportunity, I wouldn't even mind because I actually even want to work. Omo! who no go breakup with this your attitude. lol