Jekwu Ozoemene wrote:

Dandy-Pastor (Have You Been to Church Lately?)

Have you been to church lately?
For our Dandy-Pastor’s nuptial vows
As expected, he cherry-picked from the good Lord’s vineyard
Who, but the dashing, urbane, sexy, and witty
Not for him, Mgbeke* or Ugly Betty!

Have you been to our airports lately?
Dandy-Pastor acquires a chariot of fire
(Not for the Lord’s chosen a vehicle for hire)
To whisk him in a whirlwind up to heaven
Thirty-three thousand feet above mere mortal’s level
(Thirty-three million dollars worth of pleasure and opulence)
No-skin-pain, our rich God’s work is worth such indulgence

Dandy-Pastor, whose chariot is this, I’ll like to know
Speak out now or we’ll rant, smite the waters, fast from now till tomorrow
Others will whisper, “Who made him King?” behind their sleeves
But that will achieve or end nothing I believe
A tenth of our earnings feed his lifestyle
That’s why the sin-chariots will fly daily across the night sky
Probably ferrying the lovely Bathsheba
While poor Uriah bleeds to death on the frontlines

Whose glamorous garment is this anyway?
The same garment that healed by touch, for free, no pay?
Or could the cost of his exquisite English Tom Ford
The broad-shouldered couture of his German Hugo Boss
Hand-tailored garments of French Yves St. Laurent
Provide Medicare to thousands of his pitiable flock?

Christ! Whose mercantile church is this anyway?
All yee vassals to swashbuckling buccaneers
Is this the Lord’s vineyard that we were all promised
Or the Tithe Collector’s awe-inspiring fiefdom?

So I ask again
Have you paid your tithe lately?
For Dandy-Pastor’s chariot needs more fire
Mummy’s wardrobe a new attire
And the Good Lord’s vineyard
Leeched, withering away, left to die

Originally published in 2009 as part of the anthology ‘Shadows of Existence’ by Jekwu Ozoemene