Ok, so many weekends ago, I caught up with a friend of mine, Bankole. He is one the most amazing guys I know (I got the most princely of them though!! Yes o!). Anyways, I finally made it to his home after many failed promises. He lives in a nice place tucked away in an almost sleepy crescent in Gbagada, Lagos.

The first thing I noticed beyond the sheer beauty of his simple home was a certain twinkle in his eyes. He looked, to me, as a man who had found something or who came upon good news he was still trying to hide. As I sat down, I started to tease him (that’s my favourite past time) about his growing pot belly from his wife’s culinary skills, and how his buttons don’t close up anymore. What he said to me in the most sacred manner has since remained in my heart.

Looking every inch serious, he literally leaned forward from the couch and said, “Dami, i'm sorry to have had doubts about Carol, she finally won my heart!!!” Tell me about it!! Was I touched or what?

Bankole is one vibrant, “Myles Munroe Disciple” ready to take the future, trying his hands on many businesses and actively engaging his mind in the enterprise of dreams. He is the guy who’s promised to bankroll at least one of my books, along the road of life. You get his spirit? Yeah! He dresses well, fancies colognes, speaks some ‘kain’ English and has read more books than most people I know, and well, he is not bad looking. So that’s Bankole.

Before graduating from the University like six years ago, he broke up with his babe because in his words, “she wasn’t ready to fight for her future”... Let me spare you the details of what that phrase meant to him. Anyways, after a few years with no serious relationship, we, ‘association of friends’ naturally started to ask questions now and then. He always seemed so disinterested.

Well, I got a call from him one sunny Tuesday, and he was so desperate to see me...when I couldn’t make the dates he planned, he opted for a Saturday MTN-MTN call, and gave me the gist. He had found a babe!!! Hurray! He said she was nice, very cool, mature and really homely. Then he punched me with “she is not exactly my kind of girl...But she is okay”. I was my excited self, screaming over the phone that my friend had caught the love bug. He kept chuckling like a shy guy. I asked a few questions about the babe, we talked some more and then I took the bold step to pray about what he had shared with me, even though I was sure he would make jest of me.

Yeah he laughed at me after the last “Amen” and said, “We never serious reach that one o, I still dey shadow the babe, she fit be the one for me”. Oh please, Mr Fantastic, always feeling like he is the one doing the woman a favour if he courts and marries her. By the time our conversation was over, certain facts had emerged.

One, the babe in question, Carol, was a reserved and enterprising first daughter of a family of five, having quite a huge responsibility to care for her siblings. She was a self-sponsored graduate of a Polytechnic and was now into Catering and a bit of Selling. Bankole had said, “She is not the typical kind of chic o, but she no ‘who-woh’ ”
Second, I could tell that my friend found her attractive in a way he could not explain. He didn’t exactly consider her very gorgeous, but he liked her deeply. He had said she was easy to talk to and he had started looking forward to going to her house from the Office. You get the scenario?

Third, Bankole was struggling with whether Carol would ‘fit’ into his world of dreams, adventure, business and more business, as well as his tight circle of friends, all whose babes were thriving in MTN, OandO, British Council, DStv and USAID. He had real concerns that if he started to court her, she would be treated like the ‘girl from the back side of town’.

Ok, to cut the long story short, Bankole asks out her out and she says yes like he expected, so the story just goes round among friends that the ‘Big Boy’ finally hooks a woman and a lot of people particularly, in church were looking forward to the lucky damsel. He takes her out with his friends and their babes, and what he did expect happened. They didn’t really accept her, because she didn’t ‘quite fit in’.

I knew babes wey dey curse the boy “rubbish, what’s wrong with him? So he left all of us to go and date that Poly girl! Oh please! I heard she sells cakes and Ankara materials…” Na your own be that o! Bankole was of course unhappy, and I remember him sharing with me his doubts about his babe, giving many justifications why he might not continue with the relationship, but I said to him “Guy, leave all these your flimsy excuses, it’s because your friends think she doesn’t measure up that you want to leave her. If she touches the deep places of your heart and you feel at home with her, you better stay!”

So fast forward 10 months, we are now seated in his cosy sitting room, and with the widest grin ever, my friend says, “Dami, I’m sorry to have had doubts about Carol, she finally won my heart!”. What had changed? They went ahead with the relationship and the babe started to blossom in the loving arms of my friend. Her heart and warmth started to show… She was a special woman. I can’t pretend to you, she may not sell on the cover page of a magazine, but she is so beautiful in her heart.

Bankole talked about her patience with almost tears in his eyes, how she’s loved him patiently in the midst of his weaknesses and mistakes… never complaining. She is a fabulous cook and cares for her husband like the prime assignment of her existence. He said she was given to prayer and carried him in her heart…always bringing them before God in prayer. She would never refuse to welcome him with a smile, regardless of whatever happened before he left home. Wow!!

He said “Carol is my miracle, Dami, she’s made my life beautiful. When she smiles, it’s like the sun is glittering at me. She’s not the prettiest, or even the smartest but she’s the best!” So we both sat there, smiling at the thought of a miracle woman!

As I think about this event and the things my friend shared with me, my conviction is further reinforced that the best things in life can hardly be measured by physical parameters! Women will try their best o, we go try to fine and to be hot... Because we know its appealing to the eyes of our men, but can we plead that you see past how we look to the women we are within? Let’s say my figure is 18 and not 8, Guy, abeg no judge me finish na!

And sisters, this matter reach una too! Can we beseech thee that you refrain from giving up on a good man because he doesn’t drive a Prado, can’t buy you bags by Prada, and has two and half packs, not 6, plus can’t yet pay your treat to Oriental or Marcopolo. Especially those entrepreneurs, don’t they just vex us sometimes…plenty dreams, no dollars... Na vision I wan chop? Actually, yes, na vision we wan chop o… Sister, a visionary man doesn’t only pay the bills, he’ll feed nations.

With girly giggles, some philosophy and Flat Shoes by Qupid...

Oluwadamilola...
www.epictemi. for more of my blogs... Thank you and Enjoy!