I want to talk about a matter of national importance. Do read on and you will see what I mean. We have a deep culture of respect in Africa. Every young person is expected to defer to adults. This has been since the caveman days in Africa. It has been drummed into us that we should respect our elders. Unfortunately, this has been our undoing. How, you ask ?

We are expected as Africans, especially Nigerians to defer to our elders, even when they are wrong. And how is this a matter of national importance ? If we continually put out people who continually have to defer to people because they are ‘elders’ ,how do we efficiently lead ? Now there is nothing wrong with respectfully respecting elders; but there is something wrong with not allowing young people to speak up and air their minds, just because they are being respectful. We marvel at how smart kids from the West are, but this is as a result of them being allowed to speak up. Their voices are not being smothered under the guise of a culture of respect.

This Culture of Respect has killed a lot of strong voices in infancy and nipped many leaders in the bud. When an elder is wrong, he should be respectfully told so, so we don’t continue to live in deception. We need a Culture of ‘Disrespect’ . A culture where young people are free to air their minds and iron out issues with adults. After all , adults are human beings and they also make mistakes. Being an adult shouldn’t give you immunity against correction.

This is what has turned many Nigerian youths into ‘yes yes’ people. The can’t speak up even for themselves, how then will they be able to speak up for Nigeria ? How would this crop argue intelligently and lead effectively ? We truly need a Culture of Disrespect. If you’re a young person reading this, do learn to engage adults intelligently ,without being rude. If you’re an adult reading this,do allow young people to disagree with you. Give them a chance to air their minds, instead of always misconstruing them as rude. They might just be right. And you might just be building a Greater Nigeria in your own way.

Blessings

More to the Culture of Disrespect,

Opemipo Adebanjo

@opesays on Twitter.

We need a... culture where young people are free to air their minds and iron out issues with adults. After all , adults are human beings and they also make mistakes. Being an adult shouldn’t give you immunity against correction.

ifyalways: We can see where the culture of freedom has led the west to. . .

There just should be a balance.

In an ideal African setting,a child might not be able to talk back at,air his or her opinions to the dad but the mom is easily accessible and available.Btw,once a son attains puberty,he becomes a man in the eyes of his dad.his opinions are sought(might not be taken),he is shown the families inheritances and ancient landmark,groomed to be a man/father/defender and dame goes for a girl child that attains puberty albeit with the mom. Now that's our fine African culture. .don't confuse that with what is obtained today.

inurmind: I am in total agreement with u.
I am one ''lil un'' in particular who loves to argue, politely of course with my parents, elders, and other people who are required to mentor me.
I love to debate, and question them and I have to confess they do not appreciate it most of the time but it definately serves as a wakeup call to them in the attaining and application of true knowledge.

[size=18pt]But my only objection is ur labelling it as ''culture of disrespect''. It sounds kind of saucy. Mind u questioning and reasonably argueing are very different from disrespecting.[/size]

Lots of white kids disrepect their parents by calling them by their first names, senselessly disobeying them, shouting at them,walking out on them etc..
Yes there should be freedom but there should also be discipline.

[size=18pt]You can critise without being rude.

So instead of calling it a ''culture of disrespect, I would rather call it a ''culture of free reason''.[/size]

Mrs..Chima:
There is a difference between expressing yourself and opinions and speaking back. Speaking back refers to a child undermining the adult when orders are given. A conversation between a child and adult should be neutral base for example, allowing a child to express how they feel without consequence usually improves the child/parent relationship. Enforcing fear in a child as a baby usually work but as the child becomes their own person...it leads to rebellion.

We have to remember these children will end up our caregiver as we become elders. It is important to know what is on your child mind so that you can correct anything imperfect and guide with correction. Someone said that the West have corrupted how parents and children interacts with each other. I disagree wholeheartedly many Westerners have adopted the "African mentality" regarding to parenting and often time do not allow their children to speak their mind and opinions. Many children then run into the streets because they no longer feel safe in the home and doesn't have a safe person to talk so they resort into gang violence, become runaways, and consorting with unhealthy adults who do not give a rat arse about these children.

There are different methods of raising children and EACH CHILD IS DIFFERENT...there is no such thing as a standard method of raising children...you have to know your child and customize to what is appropriate to them.

pheesayor: