Grandma Goes to Court Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in
your own words, what happened to
you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting
there in my swing on my front porch on
a warm spring evening, when a young
man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was
friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after
he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my
thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody
had done that since my Abner passed
away 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened
next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my
brea$t.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him
then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his
rubbing made me feel all alive and
excited. I haven't felt that good in
years.
Defense! Attorney: What happened
next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so
spicy that I just spread my old legs and
said to him, "Take me, young man,
Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when
he yelled, "April Fool!"….And that's
when I shot the son of a b¥tch!