[size=20pt]Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.[/size]..

8.00am - Dog Food! My favorite thing!

9:30am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1.00pm: Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3.00pm: wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5.00pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00pm - Got to play ball and fetch! My favorite thing!

8:00pm- wow! watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00pm: sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Eeyah! Sorry bro, hope u've been taken ur drugs religiously.

[size=20pt]Excerpts from a Cat's Diary[/size]

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of harsh dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it's headless body at their feet, I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter I am. B@stards!.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear noises and smell of food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I
must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try again tomorow - but at top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems more than willing to return. He is obviously ret@rded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

jhydebaba: Eeyah! Sorry bro, hope u've been taken ur drugs religiously.

Legend!

Strangerrrrr