This is actually my second topic on nairaland. i saw this on one website and decided to share it. i dont know if it has been posted before. Many of us can actually relate to it.

What makes you a Nigerian?

1 . You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapper.

2 . You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunty.

3 .More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies

4 . Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday.(a gum boot without a partner and the baby
walker - baby's now 12 and you are 48)

5 . You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle from your stays at hotels. (Gocool, Sweet heart, African pride....)

6 . You have almost always carry overweight baggage when travelling by plane.

7 . If a store has a limit on the quantity of a product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximam quantity possible. (sugar,soap, rice,cooking fat etc etc during old good days)

8 . Children have annoying nicknames (De- Boy, De-Girl, Bomboy, Aboy)

9 . Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit. ( uncle, wife, sis-in-law,two nephews and a neighbour have camped at home)

10 . You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants. ( Murray mints, wrappers, and salt shakers!)

11 . Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.

12 . You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night (especially Flashers).

13 . You never have less than 20 people to
meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight.

14 . You keep changing your Internet Service Provider because the first month is free. (I know some people
O!.....)

15 . Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home.(Yes,staple machine, office pins, punch
machine,cellotapes, post-its,etc. )

16 . When you are young, your parents buy you clothes and shoes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.

Add yours!

dani1luv: 17. Check the expiry date of Gala before eating it.

18. Go to church with extension socket and BB charger (charging in his presence)

19. Count money after withdrawing from an ATM (we trust no one, not even machines).

20. Wear head warmers at 45 degrees celsius.

21. Call a fat hausa man "Alhaji" and a thin one "Aboki"

. . . . . .

I do that every time.

dani1luv: 17. Check the expiry date of Gala after eating it.

18. Go to church with extension socket and BB charger (charging in his presence)

19. Count money after withdrawing from an ATM (we trust no one, not even machines).

20. Wear head warmers at 45 degrees celsius.

21. Call a fat hausa man "Alhaji" and a thin one "Aboki"

. . . . . .

LMAO!!

I hv a feeling I would be laughing so hard on this thread....Nigerians are funny mehn!

d op had some extreme though, I'm like which Nigerians are u talking about??

Lmao at those points! Truthfully,only nos 2 and 16 make me a proud Nigerian.

22. speed up to prevent another driver to join the traffic only to slow down right infront of the driver to make your point. (if you know you would slow down, why speed up to prevent the other vehicle )

*Laffing and writing*
Buy 10naira Amala and plenty meat like saki,edor,pomo,fish and anykind of meat.

Call every married person daddy or mummy
Even if naw bus u meet

Compare supermarket price and kiosk and finally settle for kiosks cos its cheaper.

Prefer benddown select to new one

Always making fun out of serious issues like
"Otedollar" "faroukas"meaning money
"Aluurise"to kill or to hate
"Boko boys"bombing boys

dani1luv: 17. Check the expiry date of Gala after eating it.

18. Go to church with extension socket and BB charger (charging in his presence)

19. Count money after withdrawing from an ATM (we trust no one, not even machines).

20. Wear head warmers at 45 degrees celsius.

21. Call a fat hausa man "Alhaji" and a thin one "Aboki"

. . . . . .

...soooooo on point.
@OP...I hardly see nigerians do those things u put up there.

Lol@ num 21

1. Every Nigerian is a football analyst.
2. Unless you reside in lagos you dont know what's up(lagosians mentality).
3. Self medicating. Almost every nigerian is a self certified doctor.
4. Pinging in the lecture hall.
5. Every Nigerian parent came first in their elementary days( who come cari last?).

30. Keep blasting the horn even when all cars are stuck in traffic

31. Going from church to church every sunday just to be served delicacies as a first-timer

32. Saying 'I'm coming' when I do not mean to return ever.

You Always ask how a topic will affect the price of garri in the market
you are always waiting for a chance to show everybody that you own a blackberry

Reyginus:
5. Every Nigerian parent came first in their elementary days( who come cari last?).

LMAO!! So freaking true!!

Shouting NEPA!!!! when power comes on. Always hearing comments like"we r ontop of d situation"

You are not ready to queue up? Ever

You speak pidgin better than English

You believe every other Nigerian is a thief

Reyginus: 1. Every Nigerian is a football analyst.
2. Unless you reside in lagos you dont know what's up(lagosians mentality).
3. Self medicating. Almost every nigerian is a self certified doctor.
4. Pinging in the lecture hall.
5. Every Nigerian parent came first in their elementary days( who come cari last?).

*LMAO*

Help me ask them joor.

being able to type 50 pages on a phone(BB Thumbology), but writing a paragraph, with
pen and paper extremely difficult.

Shouting the name of GOD/ALLAH in every situation(even on a plane from maiduguri)

Making Fun of our First Lady even though you make the same errors(Kudos to ANTI-GBAGAUN)

Reading Only a Newspaper Headline and Arguing as though you read the Full Article (Free Readers Association)

HAHAHAHAHA

Thank you for making me laugh this morning! And learning funny things about Nigerians ;-) although I've to admit I do some of those things too and I'm not Nigerian

Gals always askin 4 recharge card frm dia boi frends

We dont dodge pot holes but choose which one to enter, we call a poor mans breakfast morning food and immediately u hammer u become my brother or sister even though i dont know you.naija rocks!!!

l0lx at all 0f U...lma0

Quoting a full page comment,and making a three or four words sentence under it.

you're suffering and smiling

Always shouting 'holy ghost fire' at any slightest inccidence

looking for a phone with '2 to 4 sim card'


@op ur own no too funny though!

boyprodigy: We dont dodge pot holes but choose which one to enter, we call a poor mans breakfast morning food and immediately u hammer u become my brother or sister even though i dont know you.naija rocks!!!

lol @ dat pot holes

A girl has to tell u YES! B4 u do anytin wit her except send her card,buy her gifts,take her to fast food joints...

Your swagger which includes: being loud, disorderly when driving, religious, having a never say die attitude to life, a football addict, good at speaking pidgin English, having a high mindedness above all other Africans, warm and welcoming to strangers etc.

Count money after withdrawing from an ATM (we trust no one, not even
machines).
Wear head warmers at 45 degrees celsius.

=> U must buy bread when traveling to
ur village...lol

U must goto school b4 u become successful in life(they take school as the main priority of becoming successful less people look down on u)

Only science student are smart

Buying 10cars and packing them in †ЂΞ garage even thou it is 2 of it we need

The thread is delicious.

Pardon me even though this is the jokes section, you know you're a Nigerian when

• You live in denial all your life and choose to avoid dealing with your problems
• You believe a your situation shall miraculously get better even if you don't do anything about it

Wen u loot,bomb, kill,kidnap, and betray ur broda in us. Dats d yardstick to qualify as a true nigerian,hahahahahahaha funi quest from u @op