I realy don't see what's so bad about the ALUU people. I am presently in a car on my way to the heart of the village on an all expense paid trip sponsored by ETISALAT. It was actualy a promo that i won.
AN UPDATE-
The people are really friendly, from the window of my car,i can see some of them carrying palm sticks with few leaves on it (WOW are they going to welcome me as Jesus was welcomed in Jerusalem?). Some others are carrying some shiny metals that look like cutlasses ( Awesome! I think they will use it to cut more palm sticks for laying at my feet as i'm walking).
I am now coming out of the car *whoaw* they just picked me up on their shoulders,wow i realy am a King( i really looked like a king). All thanks to this my sweet neighbour whom i thought hated me all this while,she gave me a present before i left,she told me to wear it(its a shirt) when i reach ALUU. Something is written on it but i'm an illiterate i.e i can't read,so please help and interprete it for me "SURELY ALL ALUU PEOPLE WILL DIE AND GO TO HELL, F*CK THEM ALL".
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FURTHER UPDATE-
Presently they drop me on the floor and are using their palm sticks to hit me,i realy appreciate it because i use to read my Bible and i once came across a place that wrote "if you're slapped on one cheek,turn the other side" i believe its a blessing so let them continue,even harder... Some of them start stripping me of my clothes,i think they want to give me a better rigalia but honestly they need to work on their manners of approach,they could have just asked me to pull it off,but anyway i don't blame them cause they're villagers...
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FURTHER UPDATE-
A Tall and very muscular man just brought out a keg of palmwine. WHOW! WOW!! WOOOO!!!,they're pouring it on me wow it smells like petrol but come-on lets be rational about this,why would they pour petrol on their king,abeg free me jare,na Korrect palm wine be dis.. And i even believe it's a kind of ritual/initiation into the ALUU brotherhood Gosh!! *blushed* i've always wanted to join a faternity, i guess this is my opportunity. Let me even taste the palmwine *gulps down a little* wow!! It tastes kinda bitter, but as the Igbo people say "the more bitter it is,the sweeter" *gulps down more* ...
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UPDATE-
I can see another guy coming with a stick and it has fire burning at the tip,(all these events took place while i was still receiving the beating with palm sticks and dancing,even rolling on the floor with joyful pain)some guys amöng those beating me are using the shiny metals to hit me,i wanted to tell them that they were making a mistake,that they were not using the right instruments but i didnt want to offend them,i didnt want them to think i am trying to teach them they job(i really hate doing anything of such). He is presently coming towards me with the fire, wow!! He touches me with it. Guess what, something realy magical and beautiful happened; my body was engulfed in an instant with brilliantly beautiful lights that looks like fire, but i simply assume it's the beating's pain that i'm feeling now,nothing else.
Whow!! my eyelids are closing gently. I don't know why but i try my best to open it,it just feels soo heavy; it finally closes, i can't see anything,everywhere is very dark but i can still hear faint voices shouting(i assume haling me),i guess it's just the effect of the palmwine i drank earlier, i feel so much at peace{rest}...
I can now see a very bright light,i am going towards it now and voila!!!/ TADA!!! I wake up...
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Damn!!!! I can't believe it was all a dream. To think that i was actually going to belong to a faternity,to think that they will even accept me... Bullsh*t
*pick up my books and race to class for lectures 30minutes late*
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This is dedicated to my Presidoo Bunmioguns,all the cabinet members and all my wonderful PROJANERS.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha shege

This is too long to be a joke

You too much jor.

Return ticket to Libya

Valiantvaliant: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha shege

Emm bros take'am easy o

Lagusta: This is too long to be a joke

Hater

larride:

You too much jor.

Return ticket to Libya

tnks but i dash you the ticket

You are a core Projaner. . .keep d projan flag flying

bunmioguns: You are a core Projaner. . .keep d projan flag flying

TNKS my Presido. UP PROJAN