There seems to be a rising case of domestic violence against women, this time I mean women that have recently put to bed. It is a known fact that the birth of a new baby also comes with a lot of stress for the family. The pressure is often more on the new mum, who is undergoing pains, readjustment and is most likely having little sleep. This leads to post partum depression in most instances. The husband also feels left out and does not get the level of attention she needs. Every one around the house gets irritable and some immature, or wicked men have taken advantage of this situation to beat up their wives at the slightest provocation.

I have a case right now of my relation, a young girl who just delivered twins. She has a first chid of 2 years and her husband is a banker. Her mum is away in America, and the mother in law came for the omugwo. The mum in law refused to cook for her and insists on being served food. She claims she has come to take care of the babies only, but does not get up night to assist. Her constant complaints about not being fed on time led the husband to beat up the wife twice.

The poor girl is currently admitted for acute post partum depression and is simply raving and screaming for two days now without sleep. Her situation is posing a very serious concern for the entire family. Nairalanders, someone please help me with advise on how to help this young girl. I am really distraught.
P

If the husband cannot protect his own family, nothing can be done. To add stress to a mother with a young child and two new borns is ridiculous. If you can't help, it will be best you go home and send best wishes over the phone. I hope she did not insult his mum. But still no excuse for this crap. I feel bad for her.

Ranting and screaming for two days non stop without sleep sounds like postpartum psychosis, although for practical non medical purposes, differentiating the two is not of higest priority as ultimately it is as dangerous and as urgent as some levels of post partum depression. The number one priority right now is her sanity and the safety of her and her kids. She could physically harm herself or the kids as a result of this condition. She needs to be surrounded by people who will provide all manners of support to her till she is mentally sound. To help take care of the kids, help with the housework and cook for the crazy MIL.

How this can be achieved exactly I don't know but you better involve her people heavily in this matter and let them know how dangerous her condition can be. Hopefully her caveman of a husband with his hellish mother will allow the people who really want to help her do so.

Thanks a lot, we have actually taken the babies away from her because she cannot even nurse them again. Her engorged breasts has caused more fever and her blood pressure is high. I am running crazy with worry.

When something drastically happens to that lady or the kids now the mom will run comot come back come take care of her daughter, I just don't get it, I presume the daughter must have told her mom about her mil behaviour but she's not taking her serious.

I have a friend's friend too that had a baby, when the mil arrived all she did was eat, sleep, watch movie ,and ask us ( her dil's friends) we should give her our necklace and other stuff we have on,

she doesn't do anything around the house to help , the son throway am after the first month back to Naija, lol,

she's been begging for a ticket to home back again for over a year now

The other grandma has been with them since the mil left and those kids are just enjoying grandma non stop,

I feel very bad for that lady OP and hope her mom comes and take care of her cos she needs family before its too late, PPD is not a child's play O!

okpurukata: Thanks a lot, we have actually taken the babies away from her because she cannot even nurse them again. Her engorged breasts has caused more fever and her blood pressure is high. I am running crazy with worry.

Is she in Naija? cos of the resources available for her.

jidegirl12:

Is she in Naija?

Yes she is

I read about the post partum psychosis and I suddenly became afraid for her. Can you guys also get breast pumps to at least take some of the discomfort away? It could also help to feed the babies. A familiar face like a close sister or brother will also help her at this time. The mum may not be able to come because who is going to provide for her and her family if she quits whatever she's doing where she is? This SIL? . She needs to be watched carefully, and a young able and experienced relative needs to stay with her till she gets back to her normal self.

I just read about the PPS too and got scared. Mum is old, about 72 yrs and just recuperating in the US. Her senior brother and his wife are taking care of her right now. The bosom pump is being used currently. We are also praying seriously for her. As at this evening she was just induced to sleep for the first time in 3days. Previous medications did not work.


Please join me in praying for her. Another of her brothers is also on the way to see h right now.

Wow, 3days. Except one is on drugs, its usually not a good sign. God heal her and I hope she recovers fully. I hope you research the drugs they are giving her and if they are okay for a breastfeeding mum, so you all don't make the mistake of feeding the babies that milk. God bless you o. Her mum as old as she is may not be able to do better than the MIL. Does she have any close sister or sister in law that can help?

What silly prayers, please take this lady to the hospital immediately to get the help she needs from professionals, the more she delays the worse she becomes.
Doesn't she have relatives?
Seriously what is this? What sort of nonesense is this? Later someone will come and say she is probably ignoring him, not giving him conjugal rights and so he is acting out.
I have come to the conclusion that we like and promote nonesense so I don't even bother anymore.
If you are a relative better stop that prayer and go and take her to get help, prayer without works is dead as dead as a corpse in the mortuary. Why I bother really I don't know, we tolerate and excuse all forms of rubbish, you will be suprised how this man who will beat a mother who just put to bed twice will be blowing tongues and screaming prayers.
What kind of human beings are we breeding?
I am jumping the gun let us "wait for the other side of the story" sick sick sick human beings

At least its not the woman herself telling the story here but a third party..
Just like Debrief said the "we need to hear the other side of the story" crooners would have been here spewing rubbish.
I hope this woman gets help,gets well and makes the right choice afterwards.

debrief08: What silly prayers, please take this lady to the hospital immediately to get the help she needs from professionals, the more she delays the worse she becomes.
Doesn't she have relatives?
Seriously what is this? What sort of nonesense is this? Later someone will come and say she is probably ignoring him, not giving him conjugal rights and so he is acting out.
I have come to the conclusion that we like and promote nonesense so I don't even bother anymore.
If you are a relative better stop that prayer and go and take her to get help, prayer without works is dead as dead as a corpse in the mortuary. Why I bother really I don't know, we tolerate and excuse all forms of rubbish, you will be suprised how this man who will beat a mother who just put to bed twice will be blowing tongues and screaming prayers.
What kind of human beings are we breeding?
I am jumping the gun let us "wait for the other side of the story" sick sick sick human beings

Debrief the woman is currently admitted in the hospital. The OP mentioned it in the first post. But yeah I agree with the rest of the stuff you said.

its a pity.

i feel for this new mother - some mother in laws are just plain useless.

anyway here are some links to help you as i don't know what to advise here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19323695
http://www.womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/postpartum-psychiatric-disorders/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postpartum_depression

Who is at Risk for Postpartum Depression?

All women are vulnerable to postpartum depression, regardless of age, marital status, education level, or socioeconomic status. While it is impossible to predict who will develop PPD, certain risk factors for PPD have been identified, including:

Previous episode of PPD
Depression during pregnancy
History of depression or bipolar disorder
Recent stressful life events
Inadequate social supports
Marital problem

Dear Poster,

Please ensure the lady has enough support system; her brothers, sisters, sisters/brothers in law, friends, colleagues. She needs massive company and assistance to help her through this time.

Giving birth to one is work, how much more two? Can you all remember the story of the woman in Osun State who took her life after giving birth to twins last month?

I'm concerned about the assault meted on her by the husband. I think the whole family need to know this and do something to prevent such happening again.

Why will a man beat a woman who is still healing from childbirth is beyond me. I think all would be fathers need to enlighten themselves about pregnancy, childbirth and post natal events. Postnatal/Postpartum depression is not a child's play oh.

Sorry OP I got very busy

So
She needs her mom first then she needs medical/physiological help, I don't know if there's any resources available to her like a therapist/ councelor that specializes in PPD and a phychiatrist for depression medication.

As per the engorgement , if she is not comfortable with breast feeding , stop pumping and the discomfort will just be couple of days and dry gradually.

The babies will be fine but they'll eventually need their mom, let her see a specialist ASAP .

It is well o

ferhyntorlah: Dear Poster,

Please ensure the lady has enough support system; her brothers, sisters, sisters/brothers in law, friends, colleagues. She needs massive company and assistance to help her through this time.

Giving birth to one is work, how much more two? Can you all remember the story of the woman in Osun State who tool her life after giving birth to twins last month?

I'm concerned about the assault meted on her by the husband. I think the whole family need to know this and do something to prevent such happening again.

Why will a man beat a woman who is still healing from the childbirth is beyond me. I think all would be fathers need to enlighten themselves about pregnancy, childbirth and post natal events.

Sorry , but did you just wrote her hubby beat her!?

Trust me they do , they just block out the reality when it comes to their mum! MEN!

jidegirl12:

Sorry, but did you just write her hubby beat her!? Yes

Trust me they d, they just block out the reality when it comes to their mum! MEN!

This is an excerpt from the poster's comment:

The mum in law refused to cook for her and insists on being served food. She claims she has come to take care of the babies only, but does not get up night to assist. Her constant complaints about not being fed on time led the husband to beat up the wife twice.

I know about post partum depression, but this post partum psychosis is another kettle of fish entirely. Na wa o. Things dey happen.

baby_123: I know about post partum depression, but this post partum psychosis is another kettle of fish entirely. Na wa o. Things dey happen.

I really hope she has competent doctors who will evaluate her properly and refer/treat appropriately not just sedating her. Medications for post partum depression and post partum psychosis are quite different. A psychiatrist should be involved in her care at this point.

Most depression meds has a very 'bad' ( if i must say in a Nigerian way) side effect especially in Nigeria with no effective resources to help , for example thot of sucide , hallucination, are common side effect of most antidepressants ,

I'd say let her mom come over or remove her from that place, you're a product of your environment , obviously the man doesn't care!

ileobatojo:

I really hope she has competent doctors who will evaluate her properly and refer/treat appropriately not just sedating her. Medications for post partum depression and post partum psychosis are quite different. A psychiatrist should be involved in her care at this point.

Hmm, but I find it hard to believe someone without previous mental health issues will just slip into psychosis because of pregnancy. If they lived in a more developed country, am sure something must have been found out about the girl. I also found out that Andrea yates case was PPP. She didn't seem okay even before she started having kids. But she was able to hide under the whole christian umbrella until sh*ite hit the fan. This lady in her state may have acted in a way that made the husband lose it, ignorantly. She may have been in this state long before the husband beat her. MIL's presnece may have worsened the issue. They don't have the capacity to identify these conditions in Nigeria. This is manic behavior. Am still very shocked. I don't think the family will want to take her to the psychiatrist because of the stigma attached to mental illness in Nigeria. The work that needs to be done in that country makes me so frustrated sometimes.

jidegirl12: Most depression meds has a very 'bad' ( if i must say in a Nigerian way) side effect especially in Nigeria with no effective resources to help , for example thot of sucide , hallucination, are common side effect of most antidepressants ,

I'd say let her mom come over or remove her from that place, you're a product of your environment , obviously the man doesn't care!

Her mum is 72 and not in the best state of health to do anything. A 72yr old mum will not be much different from her mother in law. She also doesn't need anyone that is sick around her. That may stress her out.

Na wa o , things are really happening under d heaven o, beat up a new mother, i cant imagine dt.
@ o.p, are u serious at all? If yes, dt man should be arrested, dont him and his mother know what it is to be a new mother,
useless people!

baby_123:

Her mum is 72 and not in the best state of health to do anything. A 72yr old mum will not be much different from her mother in law. She also doesn't need anyone that is sick around her. That may stress her out.

So what do you think they should do tho?, somebody has to fight for her, I mean somebody like a very close relative that the man will respect his/her presence if you know what my mean,

the lady I explained in my short story up there ; her mom is about that age range too and they are doing fine,

except maybe her(OP's) mom is scared of Naija weather and other factors that we dont know,

my own mil is about that age range too and she is my everything when it comes to helping with her grandchildren ,

we have lot of grandmas up to 80yrs that still help (not physical stuff)with emotional and psychological support, even her presence will enable that Lady

but we can't compare tho , there is nothing like family and I meant your own people.

greatgod2012: Na wa o , things are really happening under d heaven o, beat up a new mother, i cant imagine dt.
@ o.p, are u serious at all? If yes, dt man should be arrested, dont him and his mother know what it is to be a new mother,
useless people!

No be small thing o ! all in the name of marriage! MEN!(sorry o few good men, but I cant help but finish my sentence with that noun)

I hope this lady gets the treatment she needs n gets better. Meanwhile, her troll of a husband should be evaluated by a psychiatrist, he might be psychotic. How a man can do that to his wife is beyond me.

jidegirl12:

No be small thing o ! all in the name of marriage! MEN!(sorry o few good men, but I cant help but finish my sentence with that noun)

u are right my sister, some men are just something else but i thank God for my own hubby o, that man should be examined mentally.

OP, how's this woman doing? How are her kids?

I am happy to announce that she is finally pulling through. After series of anti depressants, she has slept for two days now and is gradually recovering. She can speak coherently again, though very weak. To God be the glory.

okpurukata: I am happy to announce that she is finally pulling through. After series of anti depressants, she has slept for two days now and is gradually recovering. She can speak coherently again, though very weak. To God be the glory.

Thank God. Please remember that the continued support she receives when she gets discharged home is going to be very important for her. Please encourage every one to rally around her and provide as much support as they can. Hopefully her husband has seen the error of his ways but if he hasn't then hopefully her family will not be permissive towards him beating her up especially in her unstable mental state.