Fear has gripped commercial motorcycle operators in Gwagwalada, headquarters of the Gwagwalada Area Council in the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja, following the recurrence of “penis theft” in the area.

A 35-year-old motorcyclist, Musa Abubakar, on Wednesday, dragged a passenger, Mohammed Ma‘aji of Kasuwan Dare Quarters, Gwagwalada, to a police station for allegedly “stealing his penis.”

Abubakar, who was seen sitting on a chair at the station and sweating, told the police that Ma’aji used “spiritual pigeon to steal his penis.”

He said that when he carried Ma‘aji from Kasuwan Dare to the University of Abuja gate, he (Ma’aji) was holding a bag and a white pigeon with a black tie round its neck.

He said, “We went to three places including the market. On our way back to Kasuwan Dare, he squeezed me with his two legs from behind and suddenly I felt dizzy and weak.

“Immediately I stopped, I checked my penis but found nothing in the trousers.”

He said he later noticed that the colour of the pigeon Ma‘aji was holding had changed from white to black and this made him to suspect Ma‘aji for the sudden disappearance of his penis.

“I shouted three times to alert my colleagues and later a policeman intervened,” he said.

However, Ma‘aji denied the allegation, saying “I have mine what am I going to do with his penis?

“This white pigeon is for spiritual purposes; my malam directed me to give it to a destitute.

“Abubakar may have lost his penis to a woman he probably met last night.”

When contacted on the incident, the Gwagwalada Divisional Police Officer, CSP Suleiman Abutu, said the police were trying to save the okada man‘s life by getting his penis back.

“You know this problem is psychological, it will be over with time,” Abutu said.

In its reaction, the Gwagwalada branch of the Motorcycle Transport Union, threatened to take action against Ma‘aji if Abubakar‘s penis was not returned within 24 hours.

Its chairman, Malam Aminu Hussaini, said they were fed up with false reports of missing penis by its members in the area.


http://www.punchontheweb.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art2008013111154545

Stupidity must really be in our genes, apologies to James Watson.

Na only him "wetin-call" miss wey him get mouth, when him head miss na him he go hia wein.

folahann:

When contacted on the incident, the Gwagwalada Divisional Police Officer, CSP Suleiman Abutu, said the police were trying to save the okada man‘s life by getting his privates back.

“You know this problem is psychological, it will be over with time,” Abutu said.

In its reaction, the Gwagwalada branch of the Motorcycle Transport Union, threatened to take action against Ma‘aji if Abubakar‘s privates was not returned within 24 hours.

Its chairman, Malam Aminu Hussaini, said they were fed up with false reports of missing privates by its members in the area.

pure comedy!

This is a very serious development.  The Nigerian Airforce must be placed on Stage 3 Red Alert so that fully armed fighter jets can be scrambled on a moment's notice to intercept any inbound flights of spiritual pigeons picked up on our air defence radar systems.

The Abuja Police Department must be commended for swinging into action and spreading out a dragnet to track down and re-instate the missing Instruments belonging to that unfortunate motorcycle taxi operator, BUT, their efforts must be properly coordinated with ongoing Nigerian military operations so that invading terror pigeons can be detected, tracked and destroyed regardless of whether they try to invade Nigeria by air, sea or land.

Until this state of emergency is lifted, all men resident in Nigeria are hereby advised to keep a firm grip on themselves at all times so as to preempt any further attempts by pigeons, bats or indeed any other airborne life-form, to destabilise our great nation by threatening the central foundation pillar of biological manhood.

respect

Jakumo:

This is a very serious development. The Nigerian Airforce must be placed on Stage 3 Red Alert so that fully armed fighter jets can be scrambled on a moment's notice to intercept any inbound flights of spiritual pigeons picked up on our air defence radar systems.

The Abuja Police Department must be commended for swinging into action and spreading out a dragnet to track down and re-instate the missing Instruments belonging to that unfortunate motorcycle taxi operator, BUT, their efforts must be properly coordinated with ongoing Nigerian military operations so that invading terror pigeons can be detected, tracked and destroyed regardless of whether they try to invade Nigeria by air, sea or land.

Until this state of emergency is lifted, all men resident in Nigeria are hereby advised to keep a firm grip on themselves at all times so as to preempt any further attempts by pigeons, bats or indeed any other airborne life-form, to destabilise our great nation by threatening the central foundation pillar of biological manhood.

LOL!! Hilarious as ever.