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My Dad!! - Family - Nairaland

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My Dad!! by amygreat24(f): 7:53pm On Nov 20, 2012
My dad is such a ....., am d second gal in d family of six, five lovely gals and a boy! My mom had five gals nd we adopt a boy! Cos of my dad wahala! I grew up knwin dat my dad is a flirt! My mom knw everybody knws! We thought is because of d male issue, den my mom suggested adoption he accepted and we adopted my baby brother! Things change a little for some time, bt nw things has gotten worse my dad makes stupid calls in front of my mom he has no single respect for my mom! My mom is only here cos of us, if nt For her our education is cancel! My dad don't give a huck abt us d GALS, he loves my baby brother so much we thought his coming would change things bt nope! I cry asking God why he created me a gal! My mom is strong her bible is her husband! Can't remember for years nw wen my mom or dad slept together, dey stay in separate rooms!! My dad has eventually dated d whole women in our village, dirty things "dat one dey pain me die"!! Just dis evening I went home to drop money for some workers in d village!! D workers dere told me dat my dad is such a disgrace dat if he comes home for weekend he Do bring dose women inside d house!! I cry for my mom she is passing through all dis cos of us! She is my world! She said she won't leave us! She promise to b dere!! My elder sis is married, am done with sch too! I believe through us my mom will smile again! Life is still nt fair!
Re: My Dad!! by Odunnu: 8:09pm On Nov 20, 2012
Stay strong sister.

1 Like

Re: My Dad!! by coogar: 8:25pm On Nov 20, 2012
what a man!
Re: My Dad!! by baby124: 8:31pm On Nov 20, 2012
get a job, and get your mum out of the situation. let her stay with you for a while, so all this drama doesnt kill her. The guy will just go on with life the day they bury her. When he is old and penniless he will remember he has kids somewhere. It is not because you are all girls, after all the sex of the child is determined by the MAN. That is just who he is, so dont blame yourself. Because you are a girl doesnt mean you are any less of a child.

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Re: My Dad!! by CrazyMan(m): 9:09pm On Nov 20, 2012
I'm really sorry for what your dad put you girls through, and what your mum is currently going through.

But that musn't be a reason why you should not succeed in life.

You're through with school according to your story, so I would suggest you look for a job, get married and take care of your mum.

The evil men do lives after with them...your dad would definitely pay for all he did to you girls.

I'm sure that when old age must have consumed his better half, and poverty dealing terribly with him, he would sit back and regret what he did to you girls.

Accept my deepest sympathy...it is well.
Re: My Dad!! by Kobojunkie: 9:15pm On Nov 20, 2012
amygreat24: My dad is such a ....., am d second gal in d family of six, five lovely gals and a boy! My mom had five gals nd we adopt a boy! Cos of my dad wahala! I grew up knwin dat my dad is a flirt! My mom knw everybody knws! We thought is because of d male issue, den my mom suggested adoption he accepted and we adopted my baby brother! Things change a little for some time, bt nw things has gotten worse my dad makes stupid calls in front of my mom he has no single respect for my mom! My mom is only here cos of us, if nt For her our education is cancel! My dad don't give a huck abt us d GALS, he loves my baby brother so much we thought his coming would change things bt nope! I cry asking God why he created me a gal! My mom is strong her bible is her husband! Can't remember for years nw wen my mom or dad slept together, dey stay in separate rooms!! My dad has eventually dated d whole women in our village, dirty things "dat one dey pain me die"!! Just dis evening I went home to drop money for some workers in d village!! D workers dere told me dat my dad is such a disgrace dat if he comes home for weekend he Do bring dose women inside d house!! I cry for my mom she is passing through all dis cos of us! She is my world! She said she won't leave us! She promise to b dere!! My elder sis is married, am done with sch too! I believe through us my mom will smile again! Life is still nt fair!

I question your mother's reason for remaining in a house like that @Poster. It is all too easy to claim that all the problem is from the one side but do you realize the amount of harm, your remaining in that house does to you and your siblings --harm that will affect you for a good number of years into your adult lives? I am sorry but it does not all go away in a blink. There are people in their 40's and 50's still dealing with the impact of growing up in an abusive home and I can bet you that many of those individuals would have chosen to have lived homeless and dirt poor lives as kids rather than remain in a home where all they have to deal with is abuse after abuse-- disrespect after disrespect.

Please talk to your mother. She has kids to PROTECT . . PROTECTING them includes protecting their minds and their futures from things such as what you are having to endure in that home. If you had to skip a couple of years of school, I bet you it will not do you as much harm as growing up in a home, watching your own father emotional destroy you and your future.
Re: My Dad!! by engrtee(f): 10:48pm On Nov 20, 2012
In every situatin,there is someone. Worse than you.take heart
Re: My Dad!! by Mynd44: 10:51pm On Nov 20, 2012
This is just sad
Re: My Dad!! by tpia1: 12:23am On Nov 21, 2012
its nigeria- not really so unusual.

poster, if the man is set in his ways, then why not let him be, before one of his "women" deals with you.

obviously, you're not religious, so i cant advise you to pray for him?
Re: My Dad!! by Nobody: 6:55am On Nov 21, 2012
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Re: My Dad!! by Johndoe100(m): 8:23am On Nov 21, 2012
@OP
This board is a good place to come and tell a sob story that will eventually be viewed through the prism of the norms of foreign countries. For those of us who live in Nigeria and are Nigerian, there are a number of problems with your story.

First why can't your father have more than one wife? Yes, you make it sound like he can't, what is to stop him? If he wants to have affairs it can not be your business, giving birth to you did not strip him of his right to arrange his life as he deems fit.

Secondly, why will your dad "love" you or show you love when it is so obvious even in your writing that you dislike him, I can imagine the vibes he gets from you and your sisters at home. He is a person, it is hard to show love to people that obviously don't like you.

Coming to you, you sound like a baby. Your dad does not love you, tough. Some men are like that, at least you have your mother to love you. There are people who have neither. Get yourself together, show your dad love. If you feel that you can not, then keep quiet and leave the man's house and start your own life.

1 Like

Re: My Dad!! by 2goodbobo(m): 8:36am On Nov 21, 2012
Op, The Lord is your fortress. Stay strong
Re: My Dad!! by Odunnu: 8:44am On Nov 21, 2012
This myJohndoe crazy friend is completely sick! cheesy Tufiakwa!

If her dad wanted another wife he should have gone for one but he is a dog plus he cant take responsibilites. I am just trying to be the OP with a father like that. I cant say what I would or would not do but i'm sure i'll be miserable. Thats why I ask her to be strong

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Re: My Dad!! by Kolade9(m): 10:50am On Nov 21, 2012
their her some man like that. they will jst be go out with a girls to another. jst made a prayers,God will helps you
Re: My Dad!! by RudySmith(m): 11:44am On Nov 21, 2012
I don't see where the problem is in this story? Ok the poster's father is a bad guy but since he hasn't slept with their mother in yrs, then I understand why he would go after other women. Or does the poster believe that her father should become a Catholic priest?
Re: My Dad!! by maclatunji: 11:54am On Nov 21, 2012
Johndoe100: @OP
This board is a good place to come and tell a sob story that will eventually be viewed through the prism of the norms of foreign countries. For those of us who live in Nigeria and are Nigerian, there are a number of problems with your story.

First why can't your father have more than one wife? Yes, you make it sound like he can't, what is to stop him? If he wants to have affairs it can not be your business, giving birth to you did not strip him of his right to arrange his life as he deems fit.

Secondly, why will your dad "love" you or show you love when it is so obvious even in your writing that you dislike him, I can imagine the vibes he gets from you and your sisters at home. He is a person, it is hard to show love to people that obviously don't like you.

Coming to you, you sound like a baby. Your dad does not love you, tough. Some men are like that, at least you have your mother to love you. There are people who have neither. Get yourself together, show your dad love. If you feel that you can not, then keep quiet and leave the man's house and start your own life.

LOL at some of the comments here. However, by the time The Man here loses his "prowess", he will expect these women to take care of him- something ain't right with that.
Re: My Dad!! by Nobody: 12:05pm On Nov 21, 2012
Johndoe100: @OP
This board is a good place to come and tell a sob story that will eventually be viewed through the prism of the norms of foreign countries. For those of us who live in Nigeria and are Nigerian, there are a number of problems with your story.

First why can't your father have more than one wife? Yes, you make it sound like he can't, what is to stop him? If he wants to have affairs it can not be your business, giving birth to you did not strip him of his right to arrange his life as he deems fit.

Secondly, why will your dad "love" you or show you love when it is so obvious even in your writing that you dislike him, I can imagine the vibes he gets from you and your sisters at home. He is a person, it is hard to show love to people that obviously don't like you.

Coming to you, you sound like a baby. Your dad does not love you, tough. Some men are like that, at least you have your mother to love you. There are people who have neither. Get yourself together, show your dad love. If you feel that you can not, then keep quiet and leave the man's house and start your own life.

A man has a responsiblity yo love his children, IRRESPECTIVE of the gender!

And having female children doesn NOT give a man the right to marry a second wife!

If he's hsated by his kids, then he needs to check himself again, not become defensive and turn to an irresponsible lifestyle. Childish if you ask me. . . In any case, it's highly unlikely that the children will automatically hate him if they didn't already get bad treatment from him.

Beleive it or not, responsile men in Nigeria have been living hapilly in an ALL female children household, catering for their children and not blaming their wives for something that is no fault of theirs.

I always say that a man who blames a woman for having a girl child is only displaying his ignorance . . . Afterall, it's the men's gene that determine the sex of the child. If at all anybody should be blamed (which makes no sense at all), it's the man!

My parents had 5 girls before they had a boy! My mum was the one who wanted the boys, not my dad! I'm from a family of 7 girls and my dad loved each and every one of us! And before you come up with the 'western' crap . . . we lived in Nigeria all our lives!
Re: My Dad!! by Nobody: 12:06pm On Nov 21, 2012
RudySmith: I don't see where the problem is in this story? Ok the poster's father is a bad guy but since he hasn't slept with their mother in yrs, then I understand why he would go after other women. Or does the poster believe that her father should become a Catholic priest?

He started going after long BEFORE he stooped sleeping with his wife silly!
Re: My Dad!! by Nobody: 12:10pm On Nov 21, 2012
My sister.

I will tell you something that I know is very hard to do, but it will help you in future. Please, please, forgive your dad. I know it may be difficult, but do the best you can for you mum and just let your dad live his life. Don't fight him or anything, just focus on your life and your future.
Re: My Dad!! by ifyalways(f): 3:53pm On Nov 21, 2012
@OP,Esau and Jacob didn't get same "quantity/quality" of love from their parents, mind you.

You really should not hate your dad. Have you even made the effort to ask him why he's treating you(and mom and sisters) the way he does?you are merely hating him based on your moms stories and his actions which could be a reaction to something.

The most important thing is this :hate is a wasted energy that ties down any soul it occupies. No human is perfect. Make an effort to know why your dad behaves the way he does and afterwards, you can either love or ignore him. Shikena.
Re: My Dad!! by coogar: 4:08pm On Nov 21, 2012
Johndoe100: @OP
This board is a good place to come and tell a sob story that will eventually be viewed through the prism of the norms of foreign countries. For those of us who live in Nigeria and are Nigerian, there are a number of problems with your story.

First why can't your father have more than one wife? Yes, you make it sound like he can't, what is to stop him? If he wants to have affairs it can not be your business, giving birth to you did not strip him of his right to arrange his life as he deems fit.

Secondly, why will your dad "love" you or show you love when it is so obvious even in your writing that you dislike him, I can imagine the vibes he gets from you and your sisters at home. He is a person, it is hard to show love to people that obviously don't like you.

Coming to you, you sound like a baby. Your dad does not love you, tough. Some men are like that, at least you have your mother to love you. There are people who have neither. Get yourself together, show your dad love. If you feel that you can not, then keep quiet and leave the man's house and start your own life.

i cannot disagree with this......
Re: My Dad!! by tpia1: 4:47pm On Nov 21, 2012
if the op is grown, then why is she hanging around that environment?

she go get husband so? With all her energy geared towards fighting the dad?

some things cant be fixed, and when that's the case, attempting to do so is like transporting sand to the sahara desert- nobody sent you on such a fruitless exercise.
Re: My Dad!! by coogar: 5:00pm On Nov 21, 2012
tpia1: if the op is grown, then why is she hanging around that environment?

nigerian women rarely leave their father's house before marriage - tpia, if you were in nigeria, you would be in your parents' house now blending pepper in the kitchen!


she go get husband so? With all her energy geared towards fighting the dad?

husbands are queuing up to marry her.....


some things cant be fixed, and when that's the case, attempting to do so is like transporting sand to the sahara desert- nobody sent you on such a fruitless exercise.

the mother is not even complaining - yes, she might be hurt but her goal is to train her children to the point where they would become successful in their respective careers. the man has stopped sleeping with her - so no danger of stds/stis. let a dog roam and one day it will find its way home, jare! if the man had a son - he wouldn't dare treat his wife like this.........
Re: My Dad!! by amygreat24(f): 7:51pm On Nov 21, 2012
cool
Re: My Dad!! by amygreat24(f): 8:02pm On Nov 21, 2012
I just have one or two things to say! I don't hate my dad neither do I love him,he is still my dad till tomo! I still do things a daughter should do for d dad,my mom taught us dat, cos despite d whole thing my mom still do what a wife should do for d hubby! Sometimes I ask her if she is ok! she will quote d whole bible for us and we will laugh and call her pastor! My mom taught us to love no matter d hate but me I won't love nor hate my dad! For some who thinks my mom is selfish hahahahah! Dats funny! u knw my mom don't even own a car nor millions in her account she run some of my dads business from dere she provides things my dad refuse to provide for we gals! I think she is making sacrifice cos if she goes many pple will jump in and chop d small change d man get nd we will suffer me am done wit sch no job for nw so how will my younger ones manage! Some even say make I mind my buz and park commt for d house! To whr na! Nt running for my dad joor! will only leave if dere is need to nt like am running! I mind my biz very well cos dats his life! I have to take it as his life! My dad can't take second wife u knw why cos he will take third fourth fifth till e reach 100 d guy confuse die! Thnx to u all! Showed my mom dis topic @ first she was angry wen I read d comments to her, laugh wan kill her! For my age am in my middle 20s! For husband he will sure come can't force it!
Re: My Dad!! by ifyalways(f): 9:56pm On Nov 21, 2012
^ which sort of daughter are you really?saying your dad is confused?and you want to know why your dad no send you?you don't respect him!!!

Btw, if your dad is as mean as you paint him, he won't let your mom go anywhere near, muchless manage his business(es)

Abeg, get a job and move out already.
Re: My Dad!! by Jambsupport(f): 7:37am On Nov 22, 2012
pple dont understand ds ish, how does respect comes in when a man has proven ova n ova again dat hes a dog. pfft
Re: My Dad!! by tpia1: 10:37am On Nov 22, 2012
husbands are queuing up to marry her.....

unless the husband is a psychopath, i dont think he will enjoy hearing her bash her father all the time.
Re: My Dad!! by tpia1: 10:39am On Nov 22, 2012
Jambsupport: pple dont understand ds ish, how does respect comes in when a man has proven ova n ova again dat hes a dog. pfft

well, in nigeria, you will respect unless you've been confirmed crazy.

if nothing else, the man can beat the respect into you.

or unless you're not collecting your school fees from him?

bottom line is, her ranting all the time obviously doesnt faze him, and since its her father, she has to find ways of dealing with what she cant change.

she's grown and should be thinking of launching her own career- why is she still stalking the dad everywhere instead of finding something else to do.

men in that lifestyle usually dont care how others view their womanizing.
Re: My Dad!! by Jambsupport(f): 11:00am On Nov 22, 2012
tpia1:

well, in nigeria, you will respect unless you've been confirmed crazy.

if nothing else, the man can beat the respect into you.

or unless you're not collecting your school fees from him?

bottom line is, her ranting all the time obviously doesnt faze him, and since its her father, she has to find ways of dealing with what she cant change.

she's grown and should be thinking of launching her own career- why is she still stalking the dad everywhere instead of finding something else to do.

men in that lifestyle usually dont care how others view their womanizing.
beat?? he dares not. dat man is an animal. after adoptin a male child 2 satisfy him he cant stil control dat silly thing. his daughter is right. i cud put him in jail. he sucks

1 Like

Re: My Dad!! by tpia1: 11:19am On Nov 22, 2012
and how will that help you or her?

she should just live her own life and stop stalking the man everywhere.

he's not her husband- he's her father. undecided

Neither is she her mum, the man's wife.

nobody is condoning his actions, but at the same time, the op needs to lay off the accusations a bit and leave the man to his lifestyle.

She can pray for him, which is what is required, and will work better than ranting.

short of beating up all the women, what else can she do when a man wants to stray?

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