Salam alaikum waramotulah. I have some courtship-related issues I'd really like for us to discuss:
* I know "dating" is prohibited in Islam but I used to think that except it's an arranged marriage whereby your Wali or a relative would have done a proper investigation about whom they deem good for you as a spouse; it's just logical to get to know your intended spouse at least enough to know s/he will make a good wife/husband and good mother/father for your kids.
Now my question is "what makes a pre-marriage relationship halal?" How d'u go about fully knowing your intended without 'courting' them, which is seen as haram

* Is there a stated or likely duration between you meeting someone you want to marry and the time you tie the knot (i.e like a courtship period)?

* What are the halal ways( effective ones o!) for a muslimah to search for a marriage partner; is it even allowed?

I really want to be cleared on these issues. Jazakumullah

Wa aleikum salam,

* Dating is prohibited , you are right... But You are allowed to get to know your spouse. I wrote this earlier

When i say pre marital affairs, i mean boyfriend-girlfriend affair.. You are either married or you are not. In Surah maidah, Allah says (rough translation):

Today all good things have been made lawful for you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful for you as your food is lawful for them. So are chaste, believing, women as well as chaste women of the people who were given the Scripture before you, as long as you have given them their bride-gifts and married them, not taking them as lovers or secret mistresses. The deeds of anyone who rejects faith will come to nothing, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers. (Surah 5:5)

Also in Surah Nisa

If any of you does not have the means to marry a believing free woman, then marry a believing slave– God knows best [the depth of] your faith: you are [all] part of the same family – so marry them with their people’s consent and their proper bride-gifts. [Make them] married women, not adulteresses or lovers..... (Surah 4:25)

A relationship outside the confines of marriage is essentially haram. If you meet someone and there is a mutual attraction. You do it the right way. He informs your family. You do not get too cozy by exchanging text messages and calls. You do it the right way. If he is serious, he 'd contact your guardian.

Before making a decision to marry this person, you guys can have conversations in the presence of your mahram (guardian), not locked up in a room. The guardian doesn't have to sit on the same table with you; basically your conversation has to be in an open area. This is a very important point and you should take advantage by finding out as much as you can about your potential spouse. Ask the tough questions and see how you both get along in conversations. Is he comfortable with your aspirations? What does he look for in a wife?

You can meet multiple times if needed but all in the presence of a guardian ; After this, you make a decision whether you want him as a husband, he also decides whether he wants you as a wife. When there is an agreement, you start making plans for marriage

"Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner." [Noble Quran 2:232]

The Prophet said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Book 25, Number 5403, Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

Marriage is difficult, there is no guarantee it will work; but if you have two people that believe in and love Allah.. Then no matter what happens you know that the rights of the other will not be violated.

*There is no duration but it is better,both of you reach reach your decision quickly.

* It is allowed for a sister to propose marriage to a brother, if she thinks he fits the bill.

tbaba1234: Wa aleikum salam,

* Dating is prohibited , you are right... But You are allowed to get to know your spouse. I wrote this earlier



*There is no duration but it is better,both of you reach reach your decision quickly.

* It is allowed for a sister to propose marriage to a brother, if she thinks he fits the bill.

Jazakallah. the last(3rd) issue in the post has two parts; are there halal (& effective) ways she can search for a marriage partner? Like, suggestions?

Like putting the word out that she wants to get married to a man with certain criteria spelt-out. You can also look at trustworthy Muslim leaders doing the search for you based on your criteria- this will only work in your favour if they don't have vested interests.

There are also a few Islamic forums/events where matchmaking is done.

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