A Nigerian student got admission in Harvard University, he made a white American racist his best friend.

The American has a large beautiful black monkey he loves so much.

Oneday, the Nigerian bought a big bunch of banana, ate about five pieces and gave the remaining to his American friend to keep for him. The American gave the bunch of banana to his monkey.

When the Nigerian guy came back from school, he asked the American for the banana. The American replied. "NIGGA, I GAVE THE DAMN THING TO YOUR BROTHER.

This made the Nigerian guy so angry that he vowed within himself to revenge.

About two years later, the American forgot what he did to the Nigerian. He was in a hurry to defend his research project, so he gave the Nigerian his monkey to keep for him till he returns.

Immediately the American left for school, the Nigerian took the monkey to another part of the country and sold it for a huge amount of money, and used the money to buy many things including banana.

When the American came back, he started calling from outside.
AMERICAN GUY:- EYOO NIGGA, GIVE ME MY DARLING, WANNA PLAY WITH IT!

NIGERIAN GUY:- DO YOU MEAN MY BROTHER? HE BECAME SO SICK IMMEDIATELY YOU LEFT AND I SENT HIM BACK TO NIGERIA.

AMERICAN GUY:- WHAT DO YOU MEAN MEHN, AM AIN'T GONNA TAKE THAT SHIT, NIGGA!

NIGERIAN GUY:- DON'T WORRY, IT IS A FAMILY ISSUE.

Nija no dey carry last.

Old but still funny

lysaa: Old but still funny

old? But i guess not as old as you are!
Is it? (lol)
all you do in Nairaland joke section is to glance through already written jokes and deposite "OLD BUT STILL FUNNY!
How many joke you don paste here for Nairaland? Hahahahahahh.

Anyway sha, i don't blame you, you think i be you wey don copy sotee for exam that you copy everything you see even joke. LoL

no offense, we are still in joke section

Annoying Question Females Ask And their Answer!!
1]. Are U a player? *Yes REALMADRID FC wants TO
sign me next season* do dey expect U 2 say yes?

2].why do U wan't my Pin ?? want to use it toburst
balloon.

3]. Can U die 4 me? My name is surely not Romeo

4]. My Bis will soon expire, what am i going to do?
return the BB to the seller and get a Nokia 3310

5]. If I sleep over in your Place, hope Nothing funny
will happen? No, trust me we would just perform
night vigil

6]. Hope U won't break my Heart? If u don't put it at
the edge of the table...

7]. Can U take me out? sorry are U in prison?

8]. Pls come and pick me.. like say she be beans.

9]. I think ave missed my period.. then ask the class
captain for the next class!!!

10.] Can't you get a Car? Shey your Papa get Car
when him dey Higher Institution? Good morning awesome peeps

Akpors went to a bar to relax his nerves this
sunny afternoon. While at the bar Akpors shouted
and said to
the barman; "Give me a bottle of small stout
and give
everybody here 2 bottles of big stout let them enjoy because this is xtmas period when I drink stout,
everybody drinks stout." The barman obeyed

people
in the bar started hailing Akpors while
sipping on their free drinks. Akpors ordered again: Barman! Give me a
bottle of small stout and give everybody here
2 bottles of big stout let them enjoy because this is xtmas period
when i
drink stout, everybody drinks stout.

At this
juncture everybody cheered and hailed
Akpors louder. After some minutes again

Akpors said:
barman give me a plate of fish pepper soup
and give everybody here 2 plates of fish
peppersoup each, let them eat while i eat. The
barman obeyed. They were so happy and
heaped praises on Akpors while they ateand
drank.

About an hour later, they were shocked to
the marrow when Akpors beckoned on the
Barman and said to him; "Bring me my bill
and also give everybody here their bill too
because this is xtmas period, when I pay my bill, everybody will
pay their bills too!

A man in an office tells a lady."Hey your hair smells
nice."
The lady gets annoyed and rushes to the office
of the boss and tells him,
"Mr Daniel has really
offended me......!!"
The boss asked her,"what has he
done?".
The lady replies,
"he has told me that my hair
smells so nice."
The boss then told her,"I think that was just a compliment and you should like it."

Then
the lady replied,"But the man is a dwarf! So you can
tell the hair he was reffering to."

A woman is at home when she hears someone
knocking at her door.

She goes to the door opens it and sees a man
standing there.
He asks the lady, "Do you have a V.a.g.i.n.a?"

She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its
the same man and he asks the same question to the
woman,"Do you have a V.a.g.i.n.a?" She slams the door again. Later that night when her
husband gets home she tell
him what has happened for the last two days.

The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned
voice,"Honey, i am taking an off tomorrow so as to
be home, just incase this guy shows up again." The next morning they hear a knock at the door and
both ran for the door.

The husband whisperes to the
wife,"Honey, im going to hide behind the door and
listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer
yes to the question because I want to a see where
he's going with this." She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he
asks,"Do you have a V.a.g.i.n.a?" "Yes I do." says the
lady.

The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your
husband to leave my wife's alone and start using
yours!!"

A newly married man and his wife were inside their honeymoon hotel room.
The wife was watching a movie while the man was reading a book.

After some minutes, the man dipped his finger inside his wife's private part, brought it out and started reading what he was reading,

the wife was so surprise with this his act, and she concluded that maybe the husband is KONJILISED, she decided that if the husband tries that again, she will tell him the stuff she is made of.

After about 10mins, the man came closer to the wife, dipped his finger inside the wife's private part again and started reading what he was reading.

The wife now stood up and undressed, and stood naked infront of the man and said.

"HONEY; AM READY FOR YOU; I WILL SHOW YOU THE STUFF I AM MADE OF.

The man looked up for the 1st time and was so surprise. He replied.

"READY FOR WHAT?

The woman surprisely said, you have fingered me more than 5times in the past hour, are you not ready for sex?

The man replied "SEX KE; I JUST WANTED TO WET MY FINGERS SO THAT I CAN TURN THE PAGES OF MY BOOK.

OP u have no sense of humor at all....pls dnt tell me u tink d dry lines u posted r funny? cos dey r not

hottprince: OP u have no sense of humor at all....pls dnt tell me u tink d dry lines u posted r funny? cos dey r not

why will it be funny to you, when frustration has eaten deep into you. I expect people that are free from frustration to enjoy it, not a poverty stricken soul like you! Are you sure you have eaten today? Pls i still have a left-over from my dog. ahahhahahahahahahahhahah, i don finish dis guy.